by Terri DuLong
“True,” was all I said.
“Do you think you’d be okay not ever having a child, Grace? Have you thought about that?”
I nodded. “I have. Many times. And yes, I think I’d be quite fine, to be honest with you. I’ll admit, being a mother has never been this huge burning desire inside of me. And yet, I was never like Monica either—fairly convinced I didn’t want to have a child. So I guess I’ve always been in the middle on this subject. Believe me, I do not need to have a child to validate myself as a woman. If I do have one, it will be because I truly want to bring a child into the world to share my life. And ... I don’t know, the thought of this seems to have gotten stronger since Monica became pregnant. Seeing her so happy just kind of nudged a longing inside of me.”
“Maybe that longing has to do more with love in general. Not necessarily a child per se. Maybe you’re simply searching for a connection to another person?”
I thought about this for a moment and then laughed. “You could be right, Doctor Suellen, and when are you hanging out your shingle?”
She joined my laughter. “I don’t mean to sound like a shrink. I’m just trying to help you sort it all out—without making a major mistake in the process.”
“Like losing Lucas?”
“Like losing Lucas,” she said.
A soft mewing sound caused both of us to stand up and look over the deck railing. Looking up at us with the most sorrowful-looking green eyes was a gorgeous gray and white kitten.
“Aww,” Suellen said. “How sweet. I wonder who he belongs to?”
I laughed. “Probably you. We have a lot of strays on this island. It’s a fishing village and attracts cats. Most of the residents keep food outside for them and so do the merchants downtown. We have the TNR program here—trap, neuter, return. The owners of the Faraway Inn began the program a few years ago, and to date over seven hundred cats have been done. They trap them in cages, get them neutered by the vet, get their injections, and when they’re recovered, they’re released right back to where they were picked up.”
“Oh, wow. What a great thing to do!”
“It is, and the way you can tell if the cat has been done or not is the ear. This one has been. See how his one ear is notched? He or she has been spayed or neutered.”
“It’s a great way to control the population of unwanted cats. Who pays for all of this?”
“Donations from the community. Cedar Key is very pet friendly, and most people want to help out. Many times the cats find their way to somebody’s back door, and if the person doesn’t officially adopt them and make them an inside cat, they do set out bowls of dry mix and fresh water for them every day.”
Suellen set her wineglass on the table. “Come on,” she said, heading inside.
“Where’re we going?”
“To the Market to buy cat food, of course.”
We returned twenty minutes later and the little kitten was still sitting in Suellen’s backyard. She raced back inside and returned with a bowl filled with dry cat food. I stood on the deck and watched as she inched her way down the steps, crooning to the kitten.
“Come on, little fella, I have food for you.” She placed the bowl a few inches from the kitten and made her way back up the steps. “Oh, look,” she said, excitedly. “He’s eating!”
I smiled. Another Cedar Key cat had found a home.
After we watched the kitten consume his supper, I stayed and joined Suellen in a frozen pizza dinner. By the time I walked in the back gate and was heading up to my apartment, it was just past eight o’clock. Aunt Maude opened her door.
“Did Suellen get settled in okay?” she asked.
“Yup. The furniture arrived and I helped her get some stuff unpacked. I think she’s going to love it there. Has Annie been okay?”
“Just fine. I let her outside about an hour ago. She’s back upstairs. You had a delivery while you were gone.”
“A delivery?”
“Yes. You might want to go up to the loft. It’s up there.”
I knew my aunt wasn’t about to divulge one more word, so I headed to the carriage house. I walked up the stairs and sitting on my desk was a huge crystal vase filled with the most exquisite arrangement of red roses. I felt a lump in my throat as I walked over and inhaled their sensuous fragrance. A white envelope lay beside them. I removed the card inside, which read, Grace, I was wrong. Please accept my apology. With much affection, Lucas.
I let out a deep sigh. In that moment there were two things I knew for certain—Lucas was a very special man and my fondness for him had notched up another level.
Without hesitating, I picked up the phone and dialed his number. When I heard his deep, sexy voice, my heart melted. “Lucas? I accept your apology. Can we talk?”
“Yes, in person. I’ll be right over,” he said.
“I’m in the carriage house,” I told him, and then heard the click of his phone.
Within five minutes, I heard him holler, “Grace?”
“Up here,” I said, and watched him jog up the steps.
I stood up to greet him and felt myself being pulled into his arms. God, his arms felt good.
“I missed you,” he whispered in my ear. “I missed you a lot.”
“I missed you too. I wasn’t sure I’d hear from you again.”
He held me away at arm’s length and stared at me with intense dark eyes. “Because of a disagreement? You are serious?”
I smiled and realized that when Lucas got excited his accent seemed to thicken. “Yeah,” I said.
He pulled me close again, “Non, ma cherie,” he said, stroking my back. “It was a disagreement—not a parting.”
A feeling of relief surged through me. “Well ... I’m also sorry. You have a right to your opinion on certain matters.”
His lips met mine, sensuous and passionate. I pressed closer to his body as desire filled me. I definitely wanted this man and yet ... I knew I wasn’t quite ready to take this step. Pulling away, I heard a deep sigh escape me, which matched Lucas’s.
“The flowers,” I said, pointing to the vase. “That was incredibly kind of you, but not necessary.”
“But you like them?” he asked, his voice still husky.
“I love them, so thank you.”
“That is what matters. They made you happy.”
I couldn’t help but wonder when the last time was that a man had truly cared about my happiness.
“I brought some wine,” he said, indicating the bag he’d placed on my desk. “Shall we enjoy a glass?”
“Absolutely,” I said, reaching for the corkscrew and two glasses from the credenza.
After he poured the deep red liquid, he lifted his glass and touched mine. “Here is to us,” he said, never taking his eyes from my face. “To the present and the future.”
He thought we had a future? I liked the sound of that. A lot. And did this mean he also felt perhaps we’d moved a bit further up that friendship scale?
“To us,” I repeated before taking a sip. “Another great wine,” I said.
“I’m glad you like it. So, tell me ... did you help Suellen move into her new place today?”
“I did, and I think she’ll like it there a lot. Is she doing okay at the coffee café?”
“Perfect, but then she had the best teacher.”
I smiled and leaned over to brush my lips against his. “Thank you.”
He took a sip of wine before placing it on the table and reaching for both of my hands. “May I ask you a question?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Having a child ... Is it so important to you?”
I would have preferred not going there again, but recalled what Suellen had said about discussing things. I looked down at my hands encircled in his. It looked so right. It felt so right. “I’m not sure, Lucas. I’m honestly not sure,” I said, and felt that perhaps it was not so important to him.
He squeezed my hands. “That is an honest answer. Will you promise me ... wh
en you do decide and you know for sure, you will tell me?”
I nodded as the realization hit me that should I allow myself to fall in love with Lucas, I also could be giving up the possibility of motherhood. But little did I know then that even though my head wouldn’t admit it, I had already fallen in love with Lucas Trudeau.
21
I awoke with a strange feeling—that same sensation I’d had before that I wasn’t alone in the room. Opening my eyes, I allowed them to adjust to the semidarkness. Feeling chilled, I reached for the blanket, bringing it to my neck, and that was when I saw her—a misty, cloudy vision of a woman. Standing near the window wearing a beautiful, long, white, filmy dress. Her hair was pulled up and secured at the top of her head, and when she turned sideways it was then that I thought she looked vaguely familiar and I saw the bulge across her middle. Before I even had a chance to become frightened or begin to comprehend what was going on, she was gone. Just like that.
My glance flew to the bedside clock and I saw it was a few minutes before five. I hadn’t realized I’d been holding my breath and now let out a swoop of air between my lips. I felt Annie at the bottom of the bed, curled up against my legs.
A dream, I thought as I became more awake. It was simply a dream. Wasn’t it? Of course it was. All this recent talk about babies and sperm donation, no wonder I was dreaming of pregnant women. But something inside of me didn’t agree.
Getting up to use the bathroom, I decided to just stay up rather than grab another hour of sleep.
Padding into the kitchen, I switched on a lamp and began preparing the coffeepot. The dream or whatever it was still bothered me. I’d never seen a ghost in my life. I wasn’t even sure I believed in such a thing. But I did know that I was highly sensitive when it came to things of an occult nature. I recalled that once when I was in college our psychology professor had hypnotized the entire class as an experiment. Apparently, I had gone under so quickly that the professor called me aside when the class ended. He told me to be careful in the future if I ever went for hypnosis, explaining that I was highly sensitive to the suggestion and somebody could take advantage of this. I wondered now if my ability to be so open may have encouraged a ghost to appear.
“Silly,” I said, pouring coffee into my mug. “You’re being downright silly, Grace.”
But I jumped when Annie trotted into the kitchen a minute later and startled me. I had to admit I did feel a bit edgy.
After showering and getting dressed, I clipped on Annie’s leash and we headed downtown. Walking along Second Street I knew Christmas was in the air. Not only had our climate changed to a wintry feel but all of the shops were decorated with red bows and strands of garland. The large nativity scene was set up in front of city hall and the festiveness of the season had arrived on the island. When we reached City Park, I saw the huge cedar tree all decorated. During the holiday season the tree became the focal point of the park area.
After allowing Annie to run around for a while I hollered to her. “Come on, girl. We’re going to pay a visit to the library.”
My dreamlike visitor had continued to plague me, and I thought perhaps I could find some answers from Miss Edith, our librarian and town historian.
Picking Annie up into my arms I walked inside to find Edith behind the desk working on the computer.
“Grace,” she said, looking up with a smile. “Good morning. Anything in particular you’re looking for?”
Yeah, I thought. Answers about a possible ghost.
“Well, I know you have a lot of knowledge about town history. I was wondering if maybe you could tell me something about the people that have occupied Coachman House over the years.”
“That’s right. Your aunt bought the old place and you’re both living there now. Well ... I’m sure you know that it’s a tabby structure and all that. But it’s the people you’re curious about? After it was built, Ben Coachman purchased it. That was the late eighteen hundreds. Then later EJ Lutterloh made it his home. He was the manager of the Florida Town Improvement, which was a branch of the railroads town management. I believe a few other families occupied the house after that.”
“Hmm,” I said. “And did you ever hear any ... ah, you know ... odd stories about the house itself?”
Edith began clicking the retractor on the ballpoint pen she was holding. “Like what?” she questioned.
“Oh, I don’t know. Like ...”
“Ghosts?”
I found myself gripping Annie a bit tighter and nodded. “Yeah.”
“Well, as you probably know, in many old towns there are always legends of that sort.”
“And was there a legend connected with Coachman House?”
“There was, although it’s been so long now not many people ever talk about it anymore. But it was even mentioned in some writings. Journals that a lot of the old timers had written and passed on in their family.”
“What did they say about Coachman House?”
“Actually, it was quite a tragic event that occurred. Ben Coachman was newly married when he purchased the house. At that time it was one large home, not the two apartments that it is today. I’m sure that he and his wife, Bess, were planning to fill the rooms with many children. But that didn’t happen. Seems she wasn’t able to conceive. However, about twelve or so years later, Bess did finally get pregnant. The terrible thing is, a couple months before she was due for the baby, she drowned. Just off shore of Cedar Key.”
“Oh, gosh,” I said, feeling overcome with sadness. “That is tragic.”
Edith nodded. “So poor Ben lost both his wife and his unborn child. Bess had taken their boat out that afternoon, and although she was fairly proficient on the water, one of those storms came up that quick, before she had a chance to get back to shore. Nobody knows exactly what happened. Some say she fell overboard and hit her head. Others say she was struck by lightning. But ... her body was never found.”
The sadness I’d felt from a moment before was now replaced with a sense of eeriness. I rubbed the goose bumps on my arms. “So is she supposed to be the ghost at Coachman House?”
“Well, who really knows? It seems a few of the families that lived there after Ben sold it claim they’ve heard a woman crying, some have actually said they saw a pregnant woman wandering about, and a few have said odd things happened in the house. Oh, nothing bad or scary. All very benign, like clocks stopping, items being misplaced, that sort of thing. It could all just be part of some island folklore, and the strange thing is that people who claim to have seen her all describe her differently, almost as if this spirit takes on a different form depending who sees her. So it’s all quite odd, but the theory is, for those who believe in ghosts, that Bess or some woman is searching for that unborn child.”
“Hmm, I’ve lived here ten years. Strange I never heard about this before.”
“Well, legends come and go. Sometimes people just forget the stories. And supposedly there are other ghosts around the island, so I think many times people tend to just get used to the stories and they lose their appeal.”
“Hmm, could be,” was all I said.
Edith looked up and held my gaze. “Why, Grace, is there any chance you may have been paid a visit by Miss Bess or somebody?”
“Nah,” I told her. “I’m afraid it’s only Annie and me in that apartment.” If Bess Coachman or whoever it might be was sharing my residence, I wanted to keep her all to myself.
I returned home to find Chloe sitting on the back deck working on the USA Today crossword puzzle.
“Hey,” I said. “What’s up?”
Before she had a chance to answer, Annie spotted a squirrel in a tree and began barking.
“Must that dog bark constantly?” she asked. “God, she’s so annoying.”
Truth be known, Annie really wasn’t a yapper dog. Well, except when squirrels were around.
Rather than reprimand my pooch, I said, “Grumpy today, are we?”
“In a pissy mood would cover it.”
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Annie had given up on the squirrel and come to lie beside me. “What brought this on?” My sister had been with us for two months and I had to admit this was the first time I’d seen her revert back to her nasty mode.
“My divorce became final yesterday and I guess not a moment too soon. Got a phone call this morning from one of my so-called friends. Seems Parker’s girlfriend delivered a baby girl last night.”
Ouch! Even though Chloe knew both of these events were going to take place, I guess the reality of it didn’t soften the blow.
“I’m sorry,” was all I could think of to say.
Chloe flung the newspaper and ink pen across the table. “Well, I guess that’s officially the end of my life as I knew it.”
I refrained from reminding her that she had retreated to Cedar Key to physically get rid of that life. “I know this isn’t easy for you, Chloe. Is there anything I can do?”
“ No.”
I never claimed to be good in the coddling department, but I tried once more. “Okay, look, it isn’t going to change anything by sitting around here being angry. How about the two of us go out for dinner tonight?”
Chloe looked at me with interest. “Really? I’m not sure I’ll be very good company.”
“Yeah, you will. I’ll make damn sure of it. Get your dancing shoes out, sister. We’re going to Frogs for dinner and then we’re staying for the music and dancing. I’ll give Suellen a call and maybe she’ll join us. Girls’ night out—to celebrate your freedom.”
“Well ... I’m not sure ...”
“I won’t take no for an answer. Get yourself all glammed up and I’ll be down at six to get you.”
Without giving her a chance to say no, I headed upstairs with Annie close at my heels.
Suellen had just told us about the time she got a phone call from a prospective customer at Miss Dixie’s bed and breakfast and both Chloe and I couldn’t stop laughing.
