He cleared his throat. There was only one thing to do. “May I ascertain from your words that you heard me speaking to Bingley at the Meryton Assembly?”
Elizabeth merely nodded.
“And I take it by your manner that you have convinced yourself I found you wanting?”
A flash of anger crossed her face. “How could I be mistaken, sir? You slighted the whole room and me in particular.” She sat down, clearly angry.
He started to pace, tugged on his cravat, and muttered, “Devil take it!”
Willing himself to be calm, he looked at her as he leant against a tree. “Bingley wanted me to dance, and I knew I ought to, but I simply did not wish it. I was...badly out of spirits for reasons I will tell you someday soon, and I believed I could act as I chose in a room where I was unknown, had no acquaintances, and was superior in standing. I did not expect reproach. I do find it hard to make new acquaintances; it is a punishment for me to talk with them. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, and when I do speak, I cannot appear interested in their concerns. I cannot make my face appear open and genial. Dancing with a stranger is a particular ordeal.”
She looked at him in disbelief.
“Elizabeth, how many times did you notice me near you and listening to your conversations?”
“Very often.”
“And did I seem pleased?”
She laughed. “You rarely seem pleased by anything.”
“This is what I mean! Nearly everything you say delights me. Everything you do delights me.” He pushed off the tree and approached her, crouching before the bench. “Your every look delights me.”
She blushed and tried to demur, but he would not have it. “I am sorry, Elizabeth. I did not think how others might feel due to my actions. I am uncomfortable in company, and I do know it gives offence, but I manage to smooth my way later, most of the time, should I wish it. But I never considered how my actions and my words would affect you. I only intended to persuade Bingley to leave me alone. It was horribly selfish. Please, please, forgive me.”
“William, there is no need to forgive you. You are entitled to your opinions.” He immediately stood and pulled her up with him.
“Exasperating woman! Did I wound your vanity so thoroughly that you will have me tell you again and again how I find you the most handsome woman of my acquaintance? That since the first moment I truly looked at you, I found you very pretty? Must I tell you that each time we met, my attraction and regard deepened? And that it has been driving me to distraction to not do this all evening?”
With his last words, he engulfed her in his arms and kissed her, most passionately. He kissed her again and again until he elicited the most addictive moans from her. He kissed her until she wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him. The kiss went on as her fingers, ungloved from dinner, raked through his hair, sending sparks of fire through his body, finally causing him to groan.
He came to his senses just as he realised he was lifting her off the ground and attempting to carry her, slipping one hand under her firm bottom with every intention of pushing her against a tree for support and allowing his other hand to caress her breast. He certainly did not mean to take it so far, but Elizabeth was everything passionate and responsive.
Breaking the kiss, he allowed their breathing to settle and the heat to subside in their bodies. Elizabeth blinked, seemingly puzzled as to how they moved from near the bench to the trees before realisation struck. She began to adjust her clothing and pat her hair.
“You are so beautiful you leave me breathless, darling. You must believe me this time.” He grinned, and she smiled in return.
Their breathing finally calmed, and they walked towards the house. “William, there was one lady at the assembly you did not slight. You said Jane was the only handsome girl in the room.”
“It was easier for me to acknowledge her. I could see Bingley instantly besotted and knew he would never push for me to dance with her; I have learned it prudent to pay attention to Bingley’s partners. More than once has one family issued wild speculation on a match with him because of a mere dance; often they are the worst kind of fortune hunters. So I acknowledged she was handsome because she was the only lady I had studied.”
“You do not mean to say…”
“No, Elizabeth, I do not mean to imply your sister is mercenary.”
“Hmm.”
“Will you not ask me what you truly wish to know?”
Elizabeth looked up at him, surprised by the mirth in his eyes. “Oh, you think you know?”
“Of course, I am soon to be your husband. You have confessed to being recalcitrant and headstrong. How could I hope to have an obedient wife if I do not first tell you everything you wish to hear?”
Elizabeth laughed heartily at such an image of herself. “Very well, sir. Pray, tell me what it is I wish to ask.”
“When did I first truly look at you and find you pretty?” Her gaze softened, and Darcy was certain he surmised correctly.
She waited.
“I have already told you I attend particularly to Bingley’s partners. You danced the sixth with him and were spirited and lively. I could see he found you agreeable, and I acknowledged that I was wrong in my earlier cold pronouncement, when I had not really studied you. You were more than tolerable; you were quite pretty. Then at Lucas Lodge, when Sir William would have us dance, I found myself rather put out when you would not, despite only a moment before being upset by the course of the evening. I have always disliked dancing and had just declared so to Sir William. I was surprised by my inclinations; I thought nothing of it to confess to Miss Bingley that I was meditating on the very great pleasure that your fine eyes and pretty face bestowed, as you quite brought me out of my ill-humour.”
Elizabeth gasped. “After I refused you?”
“Yes.”
“And this is why Miss Bingley dislikes me?” Elizabeth chuckled. They stood outside the doors to the ballroom, the music already playing, and she could see her partner scanning for her. She handed his topcoat back to him.
Darcy hesitated when she went forward. Did the whole county dislike him due to his conduct that one night?
“Come along, Evelina. I am certain you can now behave better in a ballroom.”1
She gave him an arch look, and he burst into laughter. How wonderful to know that his fantasy Elizabeth was so close to the authentic object. She would find a way to cast him as the heroine, and how perfectly fitting that he should be the one who committed a ballroom blunder.
He could not tell if the looks he received when entering the room were from the surprise of hearing him laugh or from the fact they did not conceal they had been outside together. But he did take her words to heart. Darcy danced with Mary, as well as Elizabeth’s friend, Charlotte Lucas. He searched for Jane but never saw her. Finally, he did his duty and stood up with Mrs. Hurst, and finally, Miss Bingley.
At first, Miss Bingley seemed to desire to pass the dance in silence, which suited Darcy perfectly. At long last, she spoke with extreme bitterness.
“I suppose you simply could not help yourself. Men! You are all the same, even you, with all your talk of duty and honour. You will disgrace Pemberley by stooping to that. Are you senseless of the degradation?”
“That is enough, madam!”
“You will regret your choice. You will regret being ruled by a moment of infatuation when she cannot make a proper mistress of your home and disgraces your family name. She has not the…”
“Are you to give me another list of attributes you presume I desire in a wife and that you think you meet?”
“Well, I am…”
“The daughter of a tradesman.”
Caroline turned red in anger and began to refute him but paled upon observing his severe mien. They went down the remainder of the dance in silence, and just after parting, he overheard her asking her sister the whereabouts of their brother.
“Something about not being able to speak about books i
n a ballroom. Mrs. Bennet allowed Charles to follow Jane to the library, but I have not seen them in quite some time. I daresay she needed to escape her family’s embarrassing behaviour,” said Mrs. Hurst.
“How like him! To leave me here with the duties of hostess by myself! Louisa, I have a severe headache. I leave you to announce the final set while I attempt to refresh myself before I must farewell our guests.”
Darcy walked towards Mr. Bennet to collect Elizabeth. He was surprised to hear Mrs. Hurst call out the waltz-like “Lucy’s Square” instead of the more common Boulanger for the last dance.2 At first, he believed she thought the dance more refined than the Boulanger, but she gave him a sly nod and a wink. It seemed Mrs. Hurst was giving him an early wedding present!
Leading Elizabeth to the floor, his heart pounded. It was impossible for him to go through the steps and grasp her waist without recalling the feel of her in his arms from their garden interlude. And he thanked the Lord he at last had some memories of touching Elizabeth. She appeared no less affected. Her smile was genuine and her eyes, a mixture of brightness from her joy and softness with affection.
As they continued to dance, and he manfully tried to not pull her in closer and closer, she met his eye with a spark that could only be increasing desire. The dance’s pace was sedate compared to the lively dances earlier in the evening, but they ended in a breathless state. Darcy had never believed the distance between a Tuesday and a Friday could be longer than in this week when Elizabeth would become his wife.
****
Bingley glanced at the angel curled in his arm. He finally reached Heaven, but not at all under the circumstances he expected. He was an amiable man, but he had to fight the anger he felt at Jane’s family for making her think she would bring reproach to her name. How sacrificing this woman was to think of breaking their engagement for his sake. Well, there was no choice for that now.
In the back of his mind, his conscience pricked. He had hoped to get her alone this evening for a kiss. He had even hoped for it to be witnessed by Mr. or Mrs. Bennet as a means to advance the wedding date. Instead, after the distress of the evening, they went far beyond kisses. Recalling what he believed would be his rather innocent compromise of her made him wonder why they had not been discovered. He sighed. Only Jane’s family would have so little care that they would not seek her out when they knew she had spent an over long amount of time with a gentleman. His plan was doomed from the start, and if he had not been so blinded first by lust and then by the wine, he might have considered the facts.
“Jane,” he said while pressing a kiss to her temple.
Her eyes fluttered open, and he regretted even more that they had not waited until their wedding night. He could have taken his fill of her afterwards.
“Darling, we must return.” His eyes scanned her body, and he winced. There may be no way to conceal their activity. “I think we must say that you fell ill. If you wear your cloak perhaps it will conceal…” He trailed off. Jane looked as though she had been struck. Good God! He was sending her out moments after taking her virtue as though he needed to be rid of her.
“I can ride to London first thing in the morning and procure the settlement. The licence is already purchased. We can wed in a matter of days.” She silently nodded. “I am sorry. I was selfish!”
“No!” she cried. “No, it was beyond what I expected.” She blushed, and Bingley smiled that she could be so modest after what they shared. “I…I regret nothing.” She held her chin high and punctuated her words with a kiss.
Bingley blinked in surprise. He had expected more self-reproach. He rather liked this side of Jane. “How do you feel?” He brushed a stray hair from her face.
She blushed again. “As though I should never leave your arms.”
He held back a moan. She was such an innocent to say such things! He kissed her forehead; her lips would bring too much temptation again. “Should I call for Elizabeth? Or your mother?”
Jane’s eyes widened. “Lizzy should enjoy her evening, and Mama would be too meddlesome. I think Mary may be persuaded to leave early.” She paused and fiddled with his hand that lay across her stomach. “Thank you for attempting to think clearly about matters. I think having my cloak on would be a good idea.”
“I will go with you.”
“You cannot leave your own ball!”
Bingley affected one of Darcy’s scowls. “I can, and I will! I must see to you; if that brings censure, then so be it.” Jane smiled, and so did he. “I will always protect you, love.”
She squeezed his hand and began to rise, attempting to right her gown as she did. Bingley felt extreme regret, not knowing if it was for their actions or for the fact that they could not continue.
Jane’s voice shook a little when she asked, “Must you really go to London? I know you received a request only today...” She trailed off, and Bingley hugged her side.
“I fear rearranging my finances for our marriage, settling an amount on Caroline, and end-of-the-year accounting have overwhelmed my overseers. Additionally, the solicitor thought he had several more weeks to prepare matters.” Jane frowned, and he attempted to retie his cravat, dreadful thing. “I should only be two or three days at the most. Should I call on Longbourn first?”
Jane shook her head. “No, Papa seemed to accept Mr. Darcy’s actions well enough. I…” her voice cracked.
Yes, he also was uncertain how he would explain matters. “Of course. I will not leave your side when we make our announcement.” Jane giggled. “What is it?”
“Your wording reminded me of news of an elopement. We are both of age; that is still an option should there be difficulties.”
He caught her mirth. “I suppose an advanced wedding date is not as fearsome as that!”
Jane grinned. “Mama would certainly be more upset if she did not get to flaunt our wedding. She will be unhappy about changing the date, but so long as there is a wedding for her to fuss over, she will be happy enough.”
Bingley laughed and wisely did not ask what she thought her father would say. He exited the room and found a footman near the cloak room. Once Jane donned her cloak, she removed to the ladies’ withdrawing room and awaited Mary, whom Bingley retrieved from near Mr. Bennet. The patriarch furrowed his brow. When Jane had left the supper room he loudly explained to Mrs. Bennet that her daughter desired to see the library, lest others perceive Jane fled in humiliation. Mrs. Bennet had given her permission for Bingley to give Jane a tour and raved about the grandeur her daughter would soon be living in. Along the way, Bingley came across Mr. Bennet and explained his destination. Now, he claimed while alone with Jane she felt ill and desired to return home. Bingley sighed as he escorted the ladies to the carriage. Mr. Bennet likely worried that Jane’s cold had returned; it was Mary’s first concern. He had credibly dodged the truth, but he also knew his sense of honour would demand he confess all to Mr. Bennet soon enough.
* * *
1 Elizabeth references Evelina or the History of a Young Lady’s Entrance into the World, which was written by Fanny Burney and first published in 1778. Austen confesses to being influenced by Burney, and it is likely any well-read individual of the era would know of the book. Evelina was raised in the country and, on a journey to London, unknowingly committed quite the error when she declined to dance with a partner who irritated her and then immediately accepted another gentleman for the same set. Although Elizabeth is not entirely excusing Darcy’s behaviour, she does recognise that he did not intend to offend the whole assembly with his demeanour or words, and he refused to dance with anyone but what civility demanded, which in Evelina’s case would have been the correct protocol when refusing a partner.
2 In my research on standard ballroom dances, I did not find much consensus. As it happens, it works well for my story that reels are called for the supper set, although I suspect that might have been frowned upon, and the lady announcing them knows this. I argue she can get away with it in Meryton even if she would not in Lon
don. Additionally, “Lucy’s Square” is entirely fictional. Although the Viennese Waltz supposedly was not decent at all until it was accepted at Almack’s in 1814, there are surviving paintings and caricatures of waltzes and waltz-like dances dated before 1811. I think this deviation is permissible in the atmosphere of this ball; there are greater things for all the characters to worry about in the aftermath of the ball than the irregularities of calling this dance instead of the Boulanger. The styles are different as well. English dances at this point were danced in sets and the waltz is a partnered dance that requires you to be very close together. The Boulanger actually created two circles turning about each other and more of a “winding down” type dance.
Chapter Nine
Darcy awoke early, a well-satisfied man, or as satisfied as he could be with his beloved miles away instead of in his bed. Last night.
The reality of Elizabeth’s in his arms and passionately returning his kisses was more than he had ever dreamed. He had held her so tight, and she had pressed herself so close that he could feel her every curve. Her body fit against his perfectly. When his tongue met hers, velvety and soft, she moaned. All conscious reason left him with that sound, and his body acted on instinct alone. She positively clung to him, driving the most pleasing parts of her body forcefully against his. Her fingers in his hair were his undoing. One hand had come so close to caressing her breast, and his other hand cradled her bottom, so very near to her core.
Darcy’s eyes closed in remembrance; his body nearly trembled as it relived the immense satisfaction he felt at being able to gain such an ardent response. He shook his head. I must not be alone with her again before the wedding.
He desired her, loved her, and was betrothed to her. Many other couples did much more, but he also respected her. There would have been no excuse for taking her again, let alone outdoors in the cold and on the night of a ball. It was natural to have these urges, but he would master them for two more days.
Compromising Mr. Darcy Page 37
