He turned on the TV as I made my way to the sofa and sat down. The sofa was really comfortable being as though I was not used to nice furniture.
“What’s wrong, why do you look like that?” he asked.
“Like what?”
“Like you’re afraid. Trust me, I don’t bite unless you ask me to!” he laughed.
“I’m cool, I’m just taking in my surroundings, that’s all.”
Sitting on the sofa next to me he said, “You know that after I saw you at the bar earlier, I couldn’t get you off my mind. I think that you are going to make me happy.”
“So what do you think you are going to do for me?”
“I don’t think, I know that I’m going to make you happy. That’s my motto, never leave a woman unhappy no matter what. That’s how you keep them coming back.”
“So, that’s how you do it, huh?” I replied sarcastically.
“Look, I’m trying to be serious with you. For real, I want to rip your clothes off right now and fuck you real good, but I know that’s not what you want, and I’m a respectable dude. I’m just making small talk to keep my mind occupied.”
“Well what if I took my clothes off for you, would that ease your mind? I paid too much money for this dress to have it ripped off,” I said in a seductive tone. I don’t where I got the heart to give in to temptation, but for some reason I believed him and I wanted to be happy. I trusted what he said, and the fact that I felt so comfortable around him eased my mind. I wasn’t afraid to give myself to him and I prayed that it would be well worth it.
“What?” he asked, confused.
I stood up from the sofa and looked at him once more. His pleased expression told me that I couldn’t turn back now. I slowly unzipped the side of my dress, and after taking both arms out of the sleeves I let it drop to the floor. I stood there in my bra and thong, watching him squirm in his seat. I don’t know where I had got the heart to act in the manner I was, but the adrenaline rush had me stripping like a professional.
After I was completely naked, I walked over to him, sat on his lap, and began kissing him. His lips were soft, and I savored the taste of his tongue as he forced it into my mouth. I began feeling that tingle down below again as he rubbed all over my back in a frenzy. His kisses went from my lips to my neck, which intensified my excitement. Soon he picked me up and carried me to his bedroom, where he placed me on the edge of the king-sized bed. I laid there patiently as he took off all of his clothes in what seemed like a few seconds, only leaving his boxers. His large member protruded through his boxers, now making me afraid of the pain that I was about to experience.
“Are you sure that you want to do this?” he asked, breathing heavily.
Raising up to kiss him, I didn’t say a word, and he knew what time it was. He began licking all over my breasts in a circular motion, making me weak. I had never experienced this sort of feeling before, and at that point I wished that I had not waited so long to lose my virginity after all. I wished that JT had come around a long time ago. He moved his tongue down to my stomach, continuing the same motion on my navel. I had butterflies in my stomach as he moved farther downtown. I held my breath, preparing for the next spot that he would reach as he took his tongue and slowly licked my clit, sending me to ecstasy at first contact. I wasn’t sure what the feeling was, but my body began to shiver uncontrollably. He giggled a little after noticing my paralyzed state. After pleasuring me a little more, he grabbed a condom, put it on, and whispered in my ear softly, telling me to let him know if I wanted him to stop. I definitely didn’t want him to stop because everything thus far had felt so good. My body was yearning for more. I could feel the heat from his body, and I wanted him inside of me. He kissed me passionately as he took his swollen member in his hand and guided it toward my love nest.
At first the pain was excruciating, but I held in my screams, hoping that it would get better with every stroke. I was fooled. Though it was a little better every time, it still hurt like hell. It seemed like eternity before JT moaned in fulfillment, he then went down and kissed my swollen lips as they throbbed and ached from the pounding that they had received. I laid there unsure of what to say as JT laid beside me and placed his muscular arm across my body. I felt secure, and I had no regrets and that was a good thing because I couldn’t change what happened. What’s done is done.
“Are you OK with what just happened?” he asked with concern.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Why did you ask that?”
“I just wanted to make sure I didn’t hurt you too bad. I know I’m working with some major weight down there!” he said, laughing.
“So are you going to kick me out now, or am I staying the night?”
“I’m not cold like that, ma. I wouldn’t do that. I want to lay next to you tonight, and I want to see your face when I wake up in the morning if that’s cool with you.”
“That’s perfect,” I said, smiling before kissing him.
We fell asleep in each other’s arms that night and it was better than I could have dreamed. I never imagined that my first time would be that way. I didn’t want to wake up if it was dream; I wanted to be happy for once because I felt I deserved it. I didn’t have any experience with relationships, but I was willing to learn and be the best woman that I could be.
The following morning, I woke up and showered before JT dropped me off at work. Luckily I had an extra outfit at the store because I didn’t have enough time to go back to Dyna’s and change. I kissed JT good-bye before getting out and running in the store and up the stairs to Dyna’s office. She was just finishing up a phone call when I walked in.
“I see you had an all nighter! I hope you enjoyed yourself. Who was the lucky guy?” she asked.
“A guy I met named JT and I did enjoy myself, thanks.”
“JT, huh? Well good for you. Just don’t get too wrapped up with these men. It’s bad for business. Jenna’s going to pick you up out front for work. Bring me some more ballers, OK?”
“OK,” I said, before leaving the office.
I changed and then went down and waited for Jenna to arrive. I daydreamed as I thought about the previous night’s events. I felt like a woman now, no longer a little girl hiding behind my virginity. I continued to work as a promoter during the day and spent my nights with JT over the next six months. I was always happy when we were together, and I told him that every chance I got. Though I hated him going out partying so much, I knew that it was his job. He hated my job too, but he dealt with it because he wanted to be with me. It was only right that I did the same. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander!
Chapter 3
Dollar Signs
JT was promoting a party for a rapper from Philly named Top Dollar. He had been spreading the word for months in advance. His phone was constantly ringing off the hook with people wanting to know how they could attend. It was a private party, so only the people that they invited would get in. I had never heard of Top Dollar before because I didn’t listen to rap music. I was more into smooth R&B; I didn’t care to hear about people getting killed, drugs, and money in every song. JT asked me to attend the party as I did most of his parties. I had shopped all morning for the perfect outfit and when I did find it, I was so excited. I wanted all eyes to be on me, and I wanted my man to be proud of what he had. I was the bomb, no doubt!
Jenna decided to go to the party with me since she was pissed at her boyfriend. They had been mad at each other for days, so she thought that going to this party would make him even more upset. My relationship with JT had blossomed so much in the past six months. I was turning into wifey, a role that I was happy to accept. Though I can admit that I was losing focus on school, in the back of my mind I knew that I would go eventually. I was having fun now—enjoying the new people, clothes, money—everything was too good to leave behind at that point.
When we reached the party it was packed. I had never seen so many people in a club at once. I was sure that if the police knew about the ab
undance of people they would shut it down for sure. The music was loud and the club was dark. I searched for JT until I found him in the lounge talking with a group of guys.
“Hey, baby!” I said, kissing him.
“Fellas, this is my girl Sugar. Sugar, this is Top Dollar and his crew.”
“Hello,” I said, astonished by the beauty in front of me.
“I’m talking business right now, so I’ll find you in a little bit, OK?”
“OK. I’m here with Jenna so I’ll be cool,” I said before walking away.
I couldn’t help but think about the man that I had just seen. Though my man was fine, Top Dollar was that to the tenth power. I was mesmerized by his style; his diamond filled chain and dollar sign pendant hypnotized me. I couldn’t imagine the value of his jewelry. His hair was nicely braided and his mustache was perfectly trimmed. His teeth sparkled even in the dim club lighting. I was far from a groupie chick; I had a man, a good one at that but it was OK to have dreams. I went out on the dance floor as Jenna followed. We danced for about five songs straight before heading back to the bar to get a drink. I sat on the stool and placed the order while Jenna went to use the rest room.
“So you love your man, huh?” a deep toned voice spoke in my ear.
I turned around and found Top Dollar standing behind me. “Yes I do.”
“That’s good, but I saw how you looked at me, and you can holla at me and still love your man.”
Shocked I asked, “What?”
“I’m going to give you my card. Holla at me when you want a nigga that really knows how to work the middle. I know that nigga ain’t hitting it right or you wouldn’t have been looking at me like that.”
“Looking at you like what?”
“Like you want to get fucked.”
“Really, I wasn’t aware that there was a look for that.”
“You know what look I’m talking about, and we both know what you want.”
“Isn’t JT your friend?”
“I don’t have friends. He’s a business associate. Look just hit me when you’re ready,” he said slyly before passing me the business card and disappearing into the crowd of the club.
What the hell was that about? I thought. Though Top Dollar was fine, I would never take it as far as to have sex with him. He was crazy as hell if he thought I would mess up my relationship with a good man for a quick screw. I laughed to myself as I placed the business card on the bar. Soon Top Dollar was performing the last song of the night and we danced to the music, Jenna and I both rather tipsy from the Alize and Hennessy mix called “Thug Passion” that we had been drinking. Dyna had provided me with a fake ID, so I was able to drink and get into the clubs with no problem. I watched him on stage and he looked even better in the light. I shook myself back to reality when JT came behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“Hey baby, you ready to go?” he asked, smiling.
“Sure, we just have to walk Jenna to her car.”
“No problem.”
After JT said all of his good-byes we walked Jenna to her car and began our drive home. I had to find a way to question JT about Top Dollar without seeming like a groupie; I wanted to know more about him.
“So, how long have you known Top Dollar?”
“Oh, we go way back. I’ve known him since middle school.”
“He seems nice. What part of Philly is he from?”
“Germantown, and what’s with all the questions about him?”
“Nothing, I’m just making conversation, baby.”
“Well I don’t want to talk about another nigga.”
“OK, sorry.”
With that I ended the conversation. Top Dollar had to be put out of my mind—for now anyway. Once we reached the apartment we began foreplay immediately. The alcohol that I had been drinking intensified my sexual feelings.
For the past six months I had been having sex with JT almost every night with the exception of that time of the month and the nights that he didn’t come home. During this time I had been mostly staying at his house. Dyna wasn’t too happy about it, but allowed it as long as I reported to work on time and still performed the job as I did before JT.
I had become something like a professional, and JT loved every minute of it. I had learned how to work him in every position, even bouncing my booty back at him when he hit it from the behind. Sex had evolved into something that I had enjoyed; far different from the first time we had sex. We fell to sleep, both exhausted, shortly after our one-hour sexual escapade. The next morning JT dropped me off at work as usual, and Jenna and I made our way out to the streets.
“Girl, what was up with that nigga Dollar? He was all on you last night.”
“I don’t know. He was fine as hell, though. I tried to ignore his ass, but the way he was talking to me made my panties wet, girl!” I laughed.
“You better keep that shit to yourself. You know JT will kill you if you fuck around on him.”
“No, I wouldn’t do that. But I can dream about it, though.” I smiled.
“Shit! That nigga is paid, I would fuck him,” she said, laughing.
We continued our workday as usual. I was beginning to like my job because the money was much more than I was used too. I was still planning on moving out of Dyna’s to get away from Meeka. Meeka felt threatened by my relationship with Dyna. We had become close and that put a strain on their relationship. I knew that the longer I stayed there, the more likely Meeka and I would come to blows. I was still saving my money for college, though I hadn’t saved as much as I should have because I would randomly splurge on clothing for work.
We decided to stop by a few bars up and down Broad Street; we usually hit the bars off small streets but decided to do things differently, hoping to score some big money. While making rounds in one bar I heard a male voice call my name. I looked around until I saw where the voice was coming from. Shocked, I saw Top Dollar sitting in the back of the bar with a cigarette in his hand. I was nervous as I walked over to where he was sitting.
“You didn’t call me!” he said, blowing smoke out of his mouth.
“I know, I never told you that I would.”
“I know you wanted to. I don’t know why you are playing hard to get. I know your type, and I know that you can’t resist me.”
“What do you mean ‘my type’? I am not a groupie chick, and I have money of my own if you think I’m attracted to that!” I was annoyed.
“I’m glad you have your own money, but I have something that you need.”
“And what’s that?”
“Good dick! I’m just trying to hook you up. Now if you don’t want it, then tell me now.”
“Listen, the offer is tempting, but I love JT and that’s who I’m staying with.”
“I’m not asking you to leave him. Sex ain’t got nothing to with that.”
“Yes it does, because if he finds out he’ll leave me for sure.”
“He won’t find out. I promise you that.”
“Just give me your number again and I’ll think about it.”
“You might as well just say yes now, because that’s what you are eventually going to say.”
“Look, I have to finish working so I’ll call you if that’s what I decide.”
“Cool!” he said, passing me another business card. The business card didn’t even have a name, just a few dollar signs and a number. I guess that was his way of keeping the groupies from calling if the card was accidentally found. I thought it was silly. Why the hell did he have a business card anyway? I mean, he wasn’t a huge name like Jay-Z, but he had the potential to be. If he was smart, he’d lose the business cards.
I knew I shouldn’t have even taken the card, but I did think he was fine. I loved JT with all of my heart, so why was I even thinking of sleeping with another man? I placed the card in my wallet and finished working. After work the driver dropped me off at JT’s apartment, and he wasn’t there. I called his cell phone and left a message when he didn’t
pick up. Bored, I showered, and after watching TV for a while I fell to sleep on the sofa. I woke up around 10:00 P.M., and JT still hadn’t come home. I was pissed when I noticed that he hadn’t called either. I knew he was probably out with another chick, and that was something that I had grown used to. I knew from the first night that he had friends that he slept with, and even though it bothered me when he was out, he always came home to me. The females occasionally would call the apartment when he wasn’t there. There were also many inconsistencies in his whereabouts, but I wanted to believe that I was his number one, even if there was a number two or three on the side. I called him once more, and after still not getting an answer, I pulled the business card from my wallet and called Top Dollar.
“Hello!”
“Hi, is this Dollar?” I asked nervously as I tried to cover it with a sexy tone.
“Yeah. Who is this?”
“Sugar.”
“Oh, so you decided to call. What’s up?”
“Can you come and pick me up?”
“Pick you up? From where?”
“JT’s apartment.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“I’m positive, he’s out with one of his chicks, so he won’t be coming home anytime soon.”
“All right, I’ll be there in a half.”
“OK.”
I was nervous as I sat there waiting for him to arrive.
What the hell am I getting myself into? I thought. I had to get some pleasure, and if JT wasn’t going to do it, then Dollar was the next man in line. I couldn’t keep allowing myself to just sit home wasting away while JT was out having fun screwing other chicks. I put on a short denim skirt with no panties; I had just shaved, so there would be no pubic hair in the way of my satisfaction. I had on sandals that tied up my legs, giving a dramatic look to my outfit. Last was a slightly see-through tank with no bra. I wanted Dollar to drool when he saw me. I wanted him to give me something that I would never forget, and I wanted this act of betrayal to be well worth it.
Sugar Walls Page 4
