“Me?”
“Yeah. Your parents still together or are you part of the group?” Lindsey pointed to her car. “And there’s my car.”
“Deceased.”
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!”
“Nah, don’t be. I was little, and I don’t really remember that much about him anymore. He was gone a lot. Honestly, what I remember more than anything is a game that we used to play, a pirate game, based on a book that he used to read to me. I think the book was his favorite because his dad used to read it to him, and he wanted me to love it like he did. It became my favorite when he read it to me.” Hannah laughed and climbed into the car. “Because he never read it. He always played it, turning it into a game, a pirate game.” Hannah thought about what she was saying for a second. “I think over the years I hung onto that game, maybe remembered it as better than it really was, to keep his memory close to me. I don’t know. But I do know that game helped me sleep when I couldn’t, entertained my mind when I had no friends in new schools, especially when I was little, and made me feel like he was still around. The problem was that I felt closer to the Captain than to him.”
“Well, that game must have been fun to have made such a lasting impression for all these years.”
Lindsey turned the key to her gently used golden Toyota Corolla, opened up the sunroof, found her favorite playlist on her phone, and plugged in the aux. Almost at the same time, they inhaled, and the sweet smell of vanilla and cherry filled the car from their JUULs.
“Here’s to the Captain. Captain Fin!” Hannah grinned as she put her tiny JUUL up to her mouth again. “Not sure he’d approve of this, but…” Laughter filled the car.
“Your dad is Captain Fin?”
Hannah laughed. “Was, yes. Now, let’s see if the tyrant’s home. She’s gonna love you!”
Chapter 14
Settling In
Feeling sad
But I don’t know why
Fake a smile
So I don’t cry
There’s nothing wrong
So that makes it worse!
Pick myself up and pretend to rehearse
~ Hannah Gunner ~
Hannah spent three weeks putting in job applications anywhere and everywhere she could think of that hired teens with no experience. Lindsey graciously ran her around so they could hang out while she looked. That evening a call came in for an interview, and even though Hannah wasn’t thrilled about the actual job, she agreed to the meeting.
“I don’t like this, Hannah,” said Gloria. “A convenience store, they’re dangerous. I don’t want you doing it.”
“I don’t even have the job yet,” Hannah objected. “Let me just see what they have to say. Plus, it’s right down the road. I could walk, so I don’t have to worry about getting a car anytime soon, and I may just work on the weekends. I don’t know until I go.”
Gloria shook her head. “I just don’t like it. Can’t you please keep looking? The mall, maybe?”
“Not unless you want to support my shopping and spending habits.” Hannah poured two iced teas. “Most parents are thrilled when their kids get a job. You’re giving me a hard time. What’s with that?”
Gloria stared at the young lady who stood before her, no longer her little girl. Where had the time gone? Hannah had gone from being the cheeky pirate, continually trying to insult her, to interviewing for her first job. Her mind wandered to a place it hadn’t gone in a long time. What would Hank think? Hannah noticed the distress written on her mom’s face in the form of scrunched-up lines across her forehead.
“It’s just an interview for a job that I haven’t been offered yet or accepted.” Walking behind her mom, wrapping her arms around her neck, she kissed her cheek. “If it means that much to you, I’ll call and cancel.”
The touch of Hannah’s warm lips still lingering on her cheek brought Gloria back to reality. She couldn’t protect her forever, and it was, after all, just an interview. About to tell herself not to listen to her fears, Hannah beat her to it.
“Don’t be so worried, Mom; it’s just an interview. I thought you’d be proud of me.”
“Hannah Gunner, not a day goes by that I’m not proud of you. I just worry, that’s all. Let me know how it goes.”
The QuickMart was exactly seven-and-a-half minutes away from the house on foot. They’d stopped and shopped there for gas and miscellaneous items dozens of times since they’d moved back. It was well lit at night, and Hannah noticed security cameras installed everywhere. Working too many hours, or late for that matter, during the week wouldn’t be an option because she was a minor, and Hannah had already decided that she didn’t want to give up both her Friday and Saturday nights and felt the manager wouldn’t hire her based on that alone. Either way, she was grateful for the interview and thought she’d use it for practice, get some experience for the next one.
“Is Ed Greene available, please?” Hannah asked the lanky guy standing behind the counter. She was nervous, but he either couldn’t tell or couldn’t care less.
Nodding, he told her that he’d be back in a second and walked through a door behind him. He reappeared, pointed to where he had just come from, and instructed her to go on back.
“Connor, by the way.”
“Hannah. Nice to meet you.”
The office was small and crowded with furniture that was too big for the room. Calendars, posters, and photos were pinned to the walls, and the desk was overflowing with paperwork. Hannah couldn’t help but notice a half-filled coffee cup sitting on a desk that looked as if it had seen better days. Ed, the manager, was a large man with a gut that hung over his pants. His hair was greasy and thinning, his glasses kept slipping off his nose, and he acted as if he’d been through this interview process one time too many. Hannah stood awkwardly in front of him.
“Hello. I’m Hannah Gunner.”
He nodded and pointed to a chair in front of his desk. Bashfully, Hannah squeezed between the desk and the chair and sat down.
“Ed Greene. Manager. Nice to meet you.”
He wasted no time firing questions at her. She felt like she was interviewing for a high-paying, important position, not for a part-time cashier clerk at a convenience store. Her favorite question was one she was sure every employer must be required to ask.
“Why do you want to work at QuickMart?”
I don’t. I need a job, thought Hannah. “Several reasons. It’s close to home, and I don’t have a car, so walking most days is mandatory. And I’m looking for a job that will accommodate my school schedule. I’m wondering, actually, if this one would, but if that’s not possible, I totally understand.”
“Typically we don’t allow employees, especially new employees, to tell us what they need in regards to scheduling, but I’ll make an exception since the hours that we’re offering are minimal. Fifteen to twenty hours a week; Connor needs a little help.”
He took a sip of the nasty cold coffee on his desk. His face, though he tried to hide it, reflected the same thing Hannah had felt: it had seen better days.
“What hours are you looking for and why?”
Hannah gave him a reasonable explanation. He nodded, wrote down her request, and told her he’d be in touch.
She took her time walking home and enjoyed a new flavor she’d bought for her vape. She promised herself each time she exhaled that she would try to quit soon. As soon as she walked in the door, she hollered out to her mom, force of habit. The apartment was silent, and it was then that she remembered Gloria had worked the night shift the night before and was probably sleeping. Sure enough, Gloria was now stirring in the chair, the same place Hannah had left her a couple hours ago. Hannah’s phone vibrated in her pocket. Darting into her bedroom, she answered the phone.
“Hello.”
“Hannah?”
“Yes.”
“This is Ed Greene, manager down at the QuickMart. I’m calling because I’d like to offer you the part-time cashier’s position. However, it does
come with one provision.”
Hannah grinned from ear to ear. “Wow! Thanks! Yes. May I ask what is the provision?”
“Certainly. Though I will do my best to accommodate your request regarding the schedule, alternating every other Friday and Saturday night, starting at 5 p.m. and getting off at 10:00 or 11:00 depending on how busy we are, and working Tuesday and Thursday the same hours, from 5:00 to 10:00 p.m. There will be times you may have to work out the schedule with Connor, whom you met today, and our other part-timer, Lacey. It’s not often, but sometimes there are conflicts if they have something to do and now we’re adding a third person. It’s usually resolved if you switch schedules among yourselves if need be.” He took a deep breath and continued. “It doesn’t happen very often, but sometimes I make the schedule and people do have personal activities, and since we’re a small outfit, we just have to learn to work together.” Pause. “Is this acceptable to you, and if so, do you want the job?”
Before she could think about it, she answered. “Yes, it is, and thank you so much, Mr. Greene. It’s perfect!”
“Great. Call me Ed. Everyone calls me Ed. How about you start next Tuesday. Come in for training and fill out the necessary paperwork?”
“Absolutely. I’ll be there!”
“Great. I’ll put you on the schedule. You’ll have to come in early that day because of the paperwork and all, so come in at 4:30.”
“Perfect. And thank you again!”
Excited, Hannah took a photo and posted it on her story right away. Caption: Guess who got the job?!?! Right after that, her fingers tapped away on her phone as she texted Lindsey to make plans to celebrate.
Chapter 15
Gloria
Sunshine
Crisp cool air
Light airy feeling
Lost the despair
But for how long?
~ Hannah Gunner ~
While standing at the sink washing dishes, Gloria suddenly became lightheaded. She stopped what she was doing and held onto the countertop to steady herself; Hannah rushed toward her.
“Are you okay?”
Gloria nodded, but Hannah noticed her mom was trembling. Being a nurse, Gloria calmed her daughter down.
“I’m fine, really. My blood sugar must be low. I haven’t eaten yet, since I picked up an extra shift late last night, and I’ve just walked in. I thought I’d do these dishes before I ate and laid down.” She smiled. “Guess that was a mistake. I should’ve grabbed a bite to eat first.” Slowly sitting down, she grabbed Hannah’s hand. “Would you pour me a glass of orange juice, please? That’ll fix me right up.”
“I was going to do those dishes, you know.”
Hannah set the orange juice down on the table in front of her. “Guess what?”
“Whaaaat?” Gloria answered, dragging out her response as if she were scared to find out.
“I got the job down at the QuickMart. But don’t worry, it’s going to be perfect!”
“Reaallly. How so?”
“The hours are insanely ideal, I can walk, plus the people I met seem really nice.” Hannah handed her mom a peeled banana. “Eat this. Honestly, it’s a perfect part-time job.”
“Well, I’m proud of you and happy for you. But I do want you to be careful!” Gloria took a bite of the banana. “Call your Aunt Kathy and tell her; she’ll be thrilled for you!”
“Will do! Well, if you’re sure you’re okay?” Hannah smirked. “I guess I’ll go ahead and go to Lindsey’s.”
Gloria nodded. “Aunt Kathy’s on her way around; get out of here, and tell Lindsey hello for me.”
As soon as Hannah turned the corner, she pulled out her little pink vape. So tiny you could hardly tell she had it in her hand. The rechargeable device with the sweet taste of vanilla and cherry was her answer to not smoking Marlboro Lights. Pushing out her mom’s warnings of the devices damaging her lungs, she inhaled, exhaled, and once again lied to herself. I’m going to quit any minute; I am, but not yet. Knowing her mom despised the fact that she smoked at all weighed on her. She took one more hit and shoved the vape back down into her jeans pocket and pretended she hadn’t done anything wrong.
As she walked down the street, her mind drifted to, of all things, the recurring dreams that she used to have as a child. Searching for treasure with the Captain on a beach with the whitest sand while a great big flagship bobbed up and down in the waves nearby. A smile crossed her face as she tried to force some of her memories of the dream to come back. Reminiscing for a few minutes, Hannah allowed herself to imagine the warm sand sifting between her toes, the imaginary smell of the sea air, which she remembered the Captain always loved, and the cackling sound of the seagulls that sat upon the deck of the make-believe ship that was floating offshore. The Captain. Damn, maybe she missed him, the man, more than she thought she did! Pushing him out of her mind, she texted Lindsey.
Hannah: Be there in a few.
Lindsey: Great. Meet ya outside.
Lindsey had Silver, her gently used gold Corolla, started, passenger door open, waiting for Hannah to arrive. Waving to each other as if they hadn’t seen one another in a long time, the two behaved like little kids instead of teens.
“Where we going?” Hannah asked.
“I’m hungry. You?”
“Yep. Always!”
“Go eat?” Lindsey suggested.
“Sounds good!”
Music turned up, and the sunroof opened, the girls took off. Hannah realized as they drove through the drive-thru that she finally felt content. Settled. Lindsey was rambling on and on about a guy in chemistry she thought was hot, and a pair of shoes that she just had to have, and Hannah felt for the first time in her life, she had a real best friend. They had clicked right away, and been inseparable ever since they’d been forced together on a project.
“Buy the damn shoes already! If you don’t, I’m going to buy them for you with my first paycheck just to shut you up!”
Laughing, Lindsey agreed. “You’re right. I should bite the bullet. I’m not going to want the knock-offs because they suck!”
They ate in the car, bantered with the boys who pulled up next to them, laughed, talked girl talk, shared secrets, drove around, shopped, and gossiped all day long. Hannah was happy! Grateful this was their last move and counting on her mom meaning it.
“To be honest, though, I’m glad your mom moved you back.”
“My turn. To be honest, though, you are truly my best friend. In fact, I really think you’re my first real best friend.”
“Why, thank you. To be honest, I think I’m honored to hold that position in your life!’
Hannah was dying. “Damn, that’s a lot of honesty.” In between giggles, she asked, “You wanna stay over tonight?”
“Yeah. Let me text my mom.”
Lindsey’s mom: Yes. It’s fine. Text when you’re in for the night.
Lindsey: K.
Gloria sipped a mimosa while she waited for her sister to arrive. Kathy let herself in, hollering Gloria’s name as she walked into the apartment.
“That looks good!”
“Care to join me?”
“Absolutely!”
Kathy poured herself a mimosa. “Didn’t think I’d like mimosas this late in the day, but it’s not bad.” She took a sip and stared at her sister.
“You look terrible,” Kathy said.
“Thanks, sis. Nice to see you too!”
Refilling Gloria’s glass with champagne and orange juice, she sat down beside her sister on the couch and made herself comfortable.
“Well.”
“Well, what?” Gloria played dumb.
“Don’t do that; did you get your results back?”
Gloria’s eyes were empty. She looked out the window and then fixated on her beautiful little First Matey, a photo of Hannah in a pirate costume for Halloween. She must have been about five years old when the picture was taken. Full of fire, like her dad, ornery, she could tell in the picture that Hannah was holding h
er dad’s hand, but Gloria had long since folded the Captain, Hank, out of that particular photo.
“It’s as we expected, Kathy, not good.”
Kathy’s hands were shaking, but Gloria looked stoic.
“What can we do?”
“We’re already doing it,” Gloria responded. “We’ll have to wait and see if anything we’re doing helps, but it’s not likely.” She took a sip of her champagne. “You know I knew that the odds weren’t good when we moved back here, but I’d hoped that I was wrong.”
Kathy walked into the kitchen to make some tea. Tears flooded her eyes even though she pretended that they hadn’t. Clattering around the kitchen, buying herself time, Kathy finally let out a sob that she could no longer contain. Gloria appeared at her side and reached out, held her in her arms, and whispered in her ear.
“It’s going to be fine. You’re going to be fine. But you have to promise me one thing.”
Kathy nodded. “You don’t even have to ask. Anything. You know that. Anything. Name it.”
“I’m begging you, Kathy. Please, please, please, I’m begging you, please watch over my daughter.” Looking her square in the eye. “Protect and take care of Hannah.”
Kathy wiped her tears with her sleeve and nodded. Sniffing, she tried to catch her breath. She could barely breathe, let alone get the words out to ask her sister the next question.
“Does she know?”
Gloria shook her head. “No. No, she doesn’t. I wanted to be sure, and now I am. I wanted Hannah to have some normalcy for a minute.”
Gloria walked back into the living room, and Kathy followed her. Flopping onto the couch, she pointed to a treatment information folder that she’d been reading. It was full of everything they needed to know, treatment-wise and options. She could continue to work as long as she felt up to it, though for the first few months of treatment it was possible she might not feel well enough. She was going to try to work as long as she could, and thankfully the hospital had agreed to work with her.
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