by Hannah West
I meet his gaze again and touch my nose. I feel the blood crusted beneath it and push to my feet.
‘Whoa,’ Drew exclaims, grabbing me when I sway a little.
‘I need to see,’ I insist when he tries to push me back into the chair.
Drew studies my expression then sighs and helps me to the mirror in the hallway. I stare at my reflection. Blood paints my face in defined tracks, leading from my nose, eyes and ears. A knot of fear uncoils in my stomach then tries to crawl up my throat. I swallow hard, forcing it back down, when my pupils inch wider and black bleeds into the white of my eyes. I have to control it because I can’t let Drew see.
‘What are you doing?’ Drew demands when I push past him.
‘I need to shower.’
‘You’re too weak,’ he argues.
Drew follows me as I force myself up the stairs. I think he’s worried I’ll fall back down and I’m sort of worried about that too. But I make it to the top and stumble into the bathroom. I turn in the doorway and press a hand to Drew’s chest, stopping him from following me inside. I stare at my hand on his chest so I don’t have to meet his gaze, unsure if my eyes have turned completely black.
‘You’re not coming in here while I shower, Drew.’
‘Primrose-’
‘There’s no way in Hell you’re standing in the bathroom while I’m naked in the shower, Andrew Frost,’ I snap.
Drew tenses under my hand and his frustration taints the air. I don’t care, he’s not being in the same room as me when I’m naked.
‘Fine,’ he mutters and goes to sit on the top step of the stairs. ‘But leave the door unlocked in case I need to get to you.’
I consider arguing but manage to rein it in, shutting the door on him instead. Sometimes I wonder if I’m short tempered because I can feel what others are feeling. Maybe if I felt worry from Drew instead of frustration I would’ve reacted differently. I turn on the shower and strip as the bathroom fills with steam. My body spasms with delight under the hot spray, and I brace both hands against the tile, letting water rain over me. Blood streaks my skin and I watch crimson circle the plughole.
I grab a towel from the rail and sit on the edge of the bath to dry. I don’t feel as weak as I did downstairs, but my arms and legs are shaking. My skin is sensitive to touch, and I wince when I reach up to dry my shoulder. I crane my neck to see if it’s bruised and onyx curls greet my gaze.
‘What the hell?’ I whisper.
I twist my arm forward to get a better view of my shoulder and see midnight swirls reaching down the back of my arm. I push to my feet and stumble to the mirror, turning so I can see the back of my arm and shoulder. My eyes go wide with shock. The swirls reach across my back and down the back of my other arm, like a giant tattoo covering my upper arms, back and shoulders. It’s pretty, the black filigree seeming delicate against my pale skin. It curls down either side of my spine, in matching designs, ending just before the top of my backside. But the beauty is lost on me, because I sure as hell don’t remember getting a tattoo. I rub at my shoulder, wondering if it’s actually there, then hiss at how raw it feels.
‘Son of a-’
‘Prim?’ Drew shouts through the door.
I grit my teeth until the stinging subsides then shout, ‘I’m fine, Drew.’
The flesh on my shoulders feels raw, but I can’t decide if the black filigree is real or if it’s just my darkness acting strangely. I wrap myself in a fresh towel and check my eyes in the mirror. When I see they’re normal again, I open the door and Drew’s eyes go wide. He moves aside to let me pass then follows me into the bedroom. The weight of his stare heats my back but I can’t tell if he staring because I’m in a towel or because of the tattoo.
I turn to meet his bewildered gaze. He licks his bottom lip, like he does when he’s nervous, and scratches the back of his reddening neck. His eyes rake me from head to toe then meet my gaze.
‘You got a tattoo.’
I take a deep breath to settle the panic clawing my insides. Nobody’s been able to see my darkness before. I’ve lived my life hoping it’s just a figment of my imagination – That my ability to sense the emotion of others isn’t actually ability but borderline craziness. But if Drew’s seeing this then I’m not crazy.
It means it’s real.
‘Yeah,’ I murmur.
Drew’s gaze goes to my shoulders then upper arms, where the edge of the black swirls curl into view. ‘It’s nice.’
‘Thanks,’ I say watching his gaze drop lower. His eyes go intense, like he’s trying to see through my towel.
‘Um, Drew?’
‘Yeah?’ he murmurs, still staring at my body.
‘You can get out now.’
His gaze snaps to mine. ‘Huh?’
‘I want to get dressed.’
Mutiny flashes in his eyes but quickly fades, and his shoulders sag. I honestly don’t know why he harbours any hope of anything more between us. That ship sailed a long time ago.
‘I’ll be right outside the door,’ he answers.
I sigh at the forlorn look he gives over his shoulder on the way out. It grates at me, guilt ascending even though I know Drew’s the one that should feel guilty for throwing that look my way. If he thinks I’ll change my mind about him by making me feel crappy then he’ll have a rude awakening.
I pull on clean pyjamas then brush my hair. I feel better, my body weak but no longer shaking. My stomach rumbles as I meet Drew outside my bedroom doorway. He offers a gentle smile then tucks a length of hair behind my ear and pulls me into a hug. I think of pushing him away then sink into his embrace. His emotions are all about comforting me and I can handle this from him. There’s no suffocating wave of worry, like when Katherine hugs me. It’s just warm and soothing, and I’ve missed Drew’s brand of comfort.
‘Come on, Prim,’ he murmurs into my hair. ‘Let’s go downstairs and eat some of the goodies in your fridge.’
‘You’ve eaten most of the goodies in my fridge,’ I complain.
‘I left you cottage pie and caramel shortbread,’ he defends.
I chuckle against his shoulder then let him help me downstairs. I feel strong enough to manage the steps alone, but I feel Drew’s need to help me, and I give him what he wants. I preheat the oven then supervise while he puts the cottage pie in to warm through. He places the tray of caramel shortbread on the counter to thaw and gives it a longing look.
‘It’s not the same unless the caramel is gooey,’ I warn.
He smirks at my ability to read him like a book. ‘I know, but waiting is a form of torture.’
‘Delayed gratification,’ I answer.
His eyes flash with want and I look away. Maybe I should address the elephant in the room before it gets any bigger.
‘What time do you leave tomorrow?’ I ask instead.
‘Four,’ he answers.
Betrayal slashes through me. I don’t know why his words hurt so much. He already left me once, and he told me he was going back the day he got here, but he found me unconscious on the floor less than an hour ago and he’s still okay with leaving tomorrow. Running. He’s not leaving me he’s running from the possibility I might be sick, like with Mum. Drew claims to love me, but you don’t abandon the ones you love. You stick by them. You hide your fear and your pain, so they don’t know you’re hurting, and you suck it up. You be what they need you to be, putting your own wants and needs aside, until the end.
I open my mouth but nothing comes out. The panic in his eyes tells me he knows exactly what I’m thinking but he doesn’t get chance to defend himself. Knocking comes from the front door and I push to my feet. Drew leaps from his chair and tells me to sit. I do, not caring who is at the door. I’m just relieved the ugly tension has been severed by the interruption.
I hear Katherine before I see her. I frown at how well I can hear her all the way at the front of the cottage. It’s not a huge property, but the walls are thick stone, so noise doesn’t travel as much as modern
properties. Her voice is still a little muffled, but I hear what’s being said. I listen to Katherine and Drew having a whispered conversation on the way to the kitchen. Drew, the snitch, is telling her all the gory details about how he found me earlier. The urge to slap him grows at the panic drenching Katherine’s tone. Drew is such a selfish prick. He doesn’t have to tell her anything, but he wants someone to know about it when he abandons me tomorrow. He’s upsetting my aunt so he can feel better when he’s gone.
I push to my feet and check the cottage pie in the oven, letting them have their whispered words. Drew’s started, so he might as well finish. I turn the pie then grab two plates from the cupboard and put them on the counter. I fish cutlery from the draw and place it on the table, as Katherine sweeps into the kitchen. She hurries over and wraps me in a hug. I scowl at Drew over her shoulder and mouth a swear word at him. His eyebrows meet his hairline, the shock on his face almost making up for how annoyed I am. My mum hated swearing, so I never do it aloud, and it’s a good way of making Drew aware of how much he just screwed up. He can’t know I could hear everything they were discussing, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out it isn’t that long a walk from the front door to the kitchen.
‘Primrose,’ Aunt Katherine breathes and draws away to look at my face.
I meet her panicked gaze. ‘I’m fine.’
My tone is placating, like I’m the adult and she the child. It’s the same tone I used with Mum on her really bad days. It seemed to soothe Mum and it appears to work on Katherine. Some of the worry leaves her face, but not her eyes. Anger flashes hot through my middle and I look at Drew.
‘Drew was just leaving,’ I tell Katherine.
Katherine’s confusion coats my skin, in that weird new way that I sense people’s emotions. I ignore it and cut Drew off, when he opens his mouth to argue.
‘Katherine and I have a lot to talk about- Family things,’ I tell him.
Hurt drenches his features but I glare at him in response. I haven’t got the capacity to feel guilty right now.
‘Yeah,’ he murmurs at my hard stare. ‘I, um, have plans with my stepdad.’
Katherine looks between us but doesn’t comment. Drew pulls on his shoes and gives me a sorrowful look, before he leaves via the back door. I go to the door and lock it behind him. He’s not welcome tonight and maybe not even tomorrow. I love the idiot like a brother, but he’s overstepped the line too many times in the last few days.
‘That was pretty mean,’ Katherine tells me when I go back into the kitchen.
‘Oh, don’t fall for his crap,’ I mutter and stalk past her.
‘Primrose!’ she scolds.
‘No,’ I snap and spin to face her. ‘I know he just worried you half to death because I had a nosebleed and fell asleep on the kitchen floor.’
She frowns. ‘He said there was blood everywhere.’
I glance at the floor, realising for the first time the dried blood is gone. Drew must’ve cleaned it up while I showered and I’m grateful. If Katherine saw the amount of blood I lost then she wouldn’t believe my lie. I hate lying to her, but I’m not telling her I almost bled out.
‘He was exaggerating,’ I answer. ‘He saw blood and freaked out. You know what Drew’s like with stuff like that.’
‘And you fell asleep on the kitchen floor?’ she counters, unconvinced.
‘I haven’t slept in weeks,’ I argue. ‘Is it so hard to believe exhaustion finally got the better of me?’
Her shoulders sag and the fight dies in her eyes. ‘So, you’re okay?’
‘I told you, I’m fine,’ I assure her.
She studies me for a second longer then says, ‘What smells so good?’
‘Cottage pie,’ I smile. ‘You’re staying for dinner, right?’
She matches my smile and her relief perfumes the air between us. Feeling emotion in this way will take some getting used to, but I can’t say it’s unpleasant when the emotions are good.
We chat for a while, until the pie is warmed through. Katherine tells me how Uncle David wants to take her away for the weekend. I sense her hesitation over leaving me alone and strive to reassure her. David must see the same stress lines creasing Katherine’s face that I do. I remind myself that she lost her sister, and Mum’s death isn’t just about my grief.
‘You deserve a break,’ I tell Katherine, as I spoon cottage pie onto two plates. I place them on the table and sit across from her, interrupting when I feel her about to argue. ‘You need it,’ I say then go for the jugular. ‘Uncle David needs it.’
Katherine hesitates. ‘You think so?’
I nod, knowing I’ve got her. She won’t take a break for herself but she’ll do anything for those she loves.
‘He’s looking tired. Let him take you away and ease some of the worry I see when he looks at you.’
Katherine sighs and looks away, before meeting my gaze again. ‘If you’re sure you’ll be okay?’
‘I’ve got a whole village of nosey neighbours looking after me, I’ll be fine.’
‘You could always come with us,’ she suggests.
I snort. ‘And be the third wheel in your dirty getaway?’
‘Primrose!’ she scolds then laughs, her cheeks turning an interesting shade of red.
‘I’m not five anymore, Katherine. Part of me wanting my key back was so I could have sex all over the cottage without the fear of being interrupted.’
Katherine’s mouth drops open then she throws the dishtowel at me. ‘Primrose Finley, I’ve never heard such filth!’ she chastises but can’t keep the laughter from her voice.
CHAPTER 6
I open a bottle of wine after dinner and Katherine joins me for a glass. We sit in the lounge and reminisce over memories of Mum before she got sick. There are so many good memories it’s late by the time Katherine leaves. I lock the door and take the wine glasses into the kitchen. I’m a little tipsy, so I leave them by the sink to wash in the morning.
I lean on the bathroom sink while I’m brushing my teeth. The weakness from earlier is gone and the wine has left me warm on the inside. I wash my face then go to bed, lying on my back in the dark staring at the ceiling. The anger I felt for Drew is gone, diluted by the wine, until it dissipated to nothing. I don’t feel guilty over the way I reacted about him upsetting my aunt, but I do miss him. I miss his easy smiles and how close we used to be.
I curl up on my side and think about David taking Katherine away the day after tomorrow. It’s exactly what they both need, and maybe I need it too. Mum dying changed the landscape of my universe, but the stuff that happened since scares me. I’ve never experienced pain like last night. I thought I was dying, and now I have black swirls marking my skin. I think my hearing is better and I can sense emotion without touching people. I think of Zephyr lurking somewhere nearby and go rigid with fear. I don’t know what he did, but maybe he was trying to kill me. Maybe he’ll come back to finish the job. But how the hell did he almost kill me without my darkness taking him out? My need to get to know him has dropped to zero. He’s not like me, he’s something dangerous, and I don’t think I’ll survive another encounter with him.
I curl into a tighter ball and close my eyes. Sleep seems impossible but then I yawn so wide my jaw cracks. I’m so tired and the wine in my system is helping me relax. I take a deep breath and blow out the tension. Zephyr hasn’t been back since last night. Even when he wasn’t copping a feel in that creepy way of his, I still felt when he was close by, and haven’t felt him since waking on the kitchen floor. I calm and the last of the tension leaves me. Another yawn stretches my jaw and I close my eyes to sleep.
I stare at the back door, hand wrapped around the handle. I can’t feel Zephyr, but I don’t trust it. My racing heart skips a beat when the knocking sounds again. My tongue feels thick in my mouth and I’m sweating. The fear I feel is unlike any I’ve experienced before. All I can think about is the agony from two nights ago, and I’m terrified Zephyr’s returned to dish out more.
>
The knocking stops and a familiar voice curses from the other side. Relief blasts through me and I rip the door open, stopping Drew’s retreat. His blue eyes meet mine, unsure but all I feel is relief that he’s here. When Katherine gets back from her holiday with David I might take her up on her offer to stay with them. The fear of Zephyr returning is eating at me and I can’t take being alone in the cottage.
‘I didn’t think you’d answer,’ Drew says.
‘You owe me an apology.’
‘I just-’
‘You scared Katherine half to death, Drew,’ I cut in. ‘She just lost her sister and you had her thinking she’d lost her niece.’ I sigh and rub my temples. ‘I know I scared you yesterday, but please don’t do that to Katherine, okay? She’s struggling to cope as it is.’
I see my words sink in before Drew nods. ‘I’m sorry, Primrose.’
‘Apology accepted,’ I say then grab his arm and pull him inside. ‘Now, get in here and help me pack.’
‘What do you mean pack?’ he asks.
‘Katherine’s gone away for a few days with David, so I thought I’d do the same.’
Drew stares at me. ‘You’re leaving the village?’
‘Don’t be an idiot, Drew,’ I say and pull my overnight case from the cupboard under the stairs.
He stares at the case then meets my gaze. ‘Come back to Liverpool with me.’
‘What? No. You’ve got classes and live with three other guys. I don’t even want to think about the state of your student digs.’
‘It’s Thursday,’ he answers. ‘I don’t have any classes until Monday, and one of the guys I live with is a neat freak. The house is sterile, Primrose, I swear.’ He blocks my path when I move to take the case upstairs. ‘Come on,’ Drew pleads. ‘I’ll put clean sheets on my bed for you and sleep on the floor. I’ll take you out for drinks and we’ll go dancing.’
I chew my bottom lip. ‘Fine.’
Drew takes the case from my hand and sprints with it upstairs. ‘Let’s get you packed! Our train leaves at four,’ he shouts over his shoulder making me laugh.
