But for this moment, he managed to bring himself back to that centre. He recalled something that Juliet had said to him on the way to Grendel Manor: that it was always better to know the truth so that you could learn and grow from it.
Confidently, he took a mental leap away from the pit.
He found himself now experiencing a deep acceptance of the situation. No giddy excitement, no worry for future, no doubts of his ability, but instead: a solid and humble trust in life.
Chapter 20
Luckily, it was dark. Juliet didn’t want people to notice the stains that covered her clothes. Her walk was fast but the cold still numbed her face. The day wasn’t so harsh when the sun was up, but now it was bitterly cold.
The dark was unwelcoming. She felt vulnerable walking home. If she hadn’t been so proud, or so disgusted, she could have been dropped off closer. Outside again, she clenched her fists, fed up with how much of the day she’d spent outdoors.
She arrived home and headed straight for the shower. As she undressed and turned the shower-dial, she began to cry. Her chest heaved and she sunk to the floor. Murder. The word danced wickedly in her mind.
Tommy had ruined it for her and Nicolas. She’d begun to like him and even wanted to go on a date with him, but now all she saw was murder, murder, murder. Aldrich’s bloodied body was there in her mind, imprinted, a permanent scar.
She thudded her leg repeatedly and screamed in frustration, knowing it would bruise her. When her arm ached and her leg was numb, she stopped. The sound of the shower running began to calm her. She stood again, feeling the wounds and scrapes of the day and struggling on the leg she’d just beaten. The exploding portal had thrown her a few metres and she’d met the ground with her left shoulder. Now it throbbed.
Climbing into the shower, she sighed. The water was sweet on her body. It caressed and comforted her. Harry Cracknel, I didn’t exactly help him. Her legs wobbled and the guilt soaked her up. Kim will be treated better now, Ryan is free to be a good person and support her financially. Maybe Harry would be content with that; that Kim was safe and happy. Or did Harry want revenge?
She shuddered. Revenge: like what Tommy got for his mother.
Was that what Samantha Crystan wanted? Juliet wasn’t sure, but she was satisfied that she’d done more than enough for Samantha.
Then the worst thought came to her. What if Aldrich appeared as a spirit? Could he do that? Was he even human? If he wasn’t, would he leave a spirit behind? Did he have a soul? The thoughts were enough to shiver bumps down her body. She got out the shower fast and grabbed a towel.
After drying herself, she put on a mocha silk dressing gown. It was blissful to be clean and feel the loving material on her skin. She walked across the upstairs hallway and stopped when a spirit appeared. The muscles of her abdomen contracted and she launched back a step.
The air fizzled around the spirit as if it didn’t belong in the fabric of this universe. It was Samantha, and this time she was smiling.
‘Thank you, Juliet.’ she flickered statically.
Juliet’s organs were caught in her throat. She’d expected Aldrich to appear; maybe to push her down the stairs. My heart can’t take this on a regular basis. She found a breath and reassured herself.
‘You’re welcome.’ she nodded.
‘Juliet, please don’t be so hard on Nicolas.’ then Samantha vanished.
That wasn’t like the way Rowena Howard ‘moved on’. Juliet contemplated why Samantha hadn’t dissipated into nothingness like Rowena had. If Samantha Crystan hadn’t moved on, then would she be coming back again?
Although Juliet was happy to have helped, she desperately hoped that would be the last time she ever saw the spirit of Nick’s mum. It was unfair that Samantha asked her to be less hard on Nicolas. It wasn’t him who’d frightened her. Tommy was the repulsive factor. She couldn’t be with Nicolas and not think of what Tommy did.
Choices that she’d made led to Aldrich’s murder. Nick would only be a reminder of her stupidity.
An acidic grumble in her stomach reminded her that she hadn’t eaten since the morning. She couldn’t imagine eating a full meal just yet; the thought of it nauseated her. She went downstairs and cautiously ate a breakfast bar.
She walked to the downstairs living room and curled up on the sofa. She thought about when the redecorating of Chanton Hillview would be complete. She wondered how much of the Diet and Nutrition home-study course she had left. She mentally stressed about how little Spanish she’d learnt so far. She remembered how last minute she cancelled her Sunday shift at the charity shop she volunteered at. She imagined having to keep up her exercise routine. She gazed wearily around at the size of her house, and then huffed, picturing the scale of the garden in her mind. It required so much maintenance. Then she got annoyed knowing that she’d taken on all of it by choice when she didn’t need to.
It’s just too much.
Under her skin, it was like tiny screaming worms wriggled about, pushing and pulling her in different directions. She wanted so badly to get away, go somewhere, anywhere. It seemed as if the room she sat in was crushing down upon her, treating her as a small, helpless and pitiful thing.
With a new determination she stood up, returned to the bathroom, searched the filthy jeans she’d left on the floor and found her mobile. She was about to tap out a text to her mother, but realised she had a message from Roy. She hadn’t checked her mobile since she’d been sat on the toppled tree in the woods.
The text read:
Some1 came 2 work 2day. Looking 4 u. They r going 2 visit u later.
She shook her head at Roy’s lazy text. Her first thought was ridiculous but caused a panic. She thought it was the police looking for her. It couldn’t have been though, Roy would have said and also, how could they know about Aldrich before it even happened? Stupid.
Thinking of the police, she put her stained clothes in the wash in case the dirt was evidence somehow. She didn’t know a lot about that sort of thing.
Whoever was looking for her was going to visit tonight, so she decided to just wait and see. Maybe they’d already come by her house when she wasn’t in, and if so, she could ask Roy about the person when she next saw him.
She opened up a new text and added her mother as the recipient:
Hi, Mum. I’m going to come to Spain for a few weeks.
I need to get away from this island, just for now.
Can you book me flights for Wednesday please and can I stay with you and Dad?
Wednesday would be fine. It was short-notice but she could close Chanton Hillview if Roy didn’t want to cover her for that long. The money didn’t matter, she’d pay the staff whether it was kept open or not. She supposed she could wait till she got back to see how the new décor looked.
There was a knock at the front door. Her thumb hovered over the send button. She placed her mobile on the sofa without sending the text and anxiously advanced on the door. She half opened it.
A woman stood outside. Her hair was silvery grey, thin, but shoulder length. She was short and wore a thick, brown winter coat, a grey scarf and grey gloves. Juliet recognised her features but the woman’s skin was too leathery and wrinkled. The resemblance was uncanny. It couldn’t be.
The woman’s eyes glistened with delight as she smiled. Her teeth had the yellow sheen of age and were uneven, but her smile was beautiful and genuine. It is.
Juliet swung the door open fully. Her jaw dropped, looking like a shocked yawn, and her eyes stirred with tears, ‘Gran?’
Chapter 21
Low patters came from the front door, and Nick moved to answer it. Tom waited on the porch. He gazed around at the massive trees and said, ‘If I get bird crap on my car, I won’t be happy.’
Nick laughed, ‘I can’t make any promises I’m afraid.’
Tom came inside and Nick closed the door behind him. They walked to the end of the hall where the kitchen was. It was obvious to Nick that his brother was looking at the unfu
rnished state of the room, the cracks in the walls, and the depressing look of the place.
‘I could help you do this house up. If you wanted.’ Tom said.
Nick huffed light-heartedly and replied, ‘Thanks. That would be nice if I had the money.’
‘Can’t Mora take you on full-time?’
‘She’s already employed more people than she needs. I wouldn’t want to ask.’
‘Hmm… have you looked anywhere else for a job?’
‘No. I like my job. It’s just the pay that’s the problem.’ he frowned. ‘Never mind though.’ he waved a hand dismissively and said, ‘I have your DVD still, I’ll go get it.’ he ran to the snug and double-checked the DVD was in the case, then returned to Tom and handed him Big Fish.
‘Thank you.’ Tom smiled.
‘So,’ Nick began cautiously, ‘are you happy to talk in here?’
‘Yeah.’ Tom sat down at the small kitchen table. It wobbled when he rested his elbows on it.
Nick ran himself a glass of water from the tap and offered his brother a drink. Tom politely said no, then Nick joined him at the table. He sipped the water and waited.
‘I’ve been dating Michael for a few months now.’ Tom said without preamble.
Some liquid choked in Nick’s throat and he coughed. ‘Michael Welding, my colleague at Creaky Crystals?’ he asked through a raspy voice.
‘Yeah.’ Tom avoided his eyes and looked down at the table.
It was a shock, not a bad one, but unexpected. Nick definitely didn’t have the art of being non-judgemental, seeing as he’d stereotyped Michael as a typical pretty boy, and in turn, a heterosexual.
Also, Tom had only recently started to break away from mimicking Tommy, so Nick had almost overlooked that Tom was his own person, evidently interested in different things to his twin.
Tom looked up slowly and his eyes were red. ‘You’re not freaked out are you?’ he asked.
‘No. I’m not in the slightest.’ Nick shook his head emphatically, ‘But I am shocked that Michael’s gay!’ he laughed.
Tom noticeably relaxed and snorted in agreement, ‘I think he was surprised at himself too. We haven’t told anyone else.’
‘Does he know you’re telling me? I don’t want it to be awkward at work now.’ Nick asked, a little judgementally.
‘Yeah, I text him and let him know that I’m telling you tonight. He said you’re nice to him at work and he hopes you’re cool with it.’
‘I might pretend to shun him now. Make him feel awkward.’
Tom cracked up with laughter, ‘No! Don’t do that, Nick.’
When they both stopped laughing, and a subtle quiet grew upon them, Nick asked, ‘Are you planning on telling Dad and Tommy?’
He imagined Tommy’s reaction, and it wasn’t pleasant. Tommy didn’t seem the type to understand, but then, Nick had already made a good few false presumptions so far.
‘Errm, I don’t think Tommy’s going to be cool about it. We shared a bedroom for years and we used to talk about women together and stuff. He’ll be weirded out I think.’
‘Hmm.’ Nick wasn’t sure what to say.
‘And Dad never asks us about our relationships at all. You know him; he doesn’t talk about sex or anything like that. It would be awkward to tell him.’ Tom slanted his mouth into a fed-up smile.
‘You’ll have to tell them at some point though. If you and Michael are serious, they are going to find out eventually and it’s better to hear it from you. And I’m not saying this to put pressure on you, but if you don’t tell them, then I have to lie to them about it too... if they get suspicious.’
Tom looked a bit indignant at his older brother’s analysis, but then he sighed, ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t think about that.’ he paused, looked around, ‘I’ll tell them soon.’
‘Okay. If they are weird about it you can always move in here for a while. I hardly use the living room, so it’s spare.’ Nick suggested without much thought.
A fleeting look on Tom’s face worried him. It was a look of intrigue, like he quickly calculated something in his mind. Nick already regretted the passing offer of letting his brother move in. He could barely afford to support himself.
‘Thank you, Nick. I’ll keep it in mind after I’ve told them.’
Tom stood up and ran himself a drink of water. Nick watched the way he did it as if it was his home, You’ve not moved in yet! he joked in his mind, partially bitter. Then he made an effort to stop worrying about it and let himself feel good instead.
A smile came to his face. It was pleasant to know that Tom trusted him with such a secret. This was certainly a new level of friendship with his brother. Tom sat down again and gulped his glass of water down in one go.
Nick asked, ‘How do you feel about the whole Mum thing? And everything that happened today?’
‘It’s going to take me a while to stop thinking about how she died. But I don’t know. She was already out of our lives. I’d given up hope years ago. I don’t feel any grief, only anger. The thing I can’t get my head around is what Aldrich could do with his eyes.’
I could tell Tom. He considered telling his brother about the visions, but he decided against it. He was desperate to tell someone but he didn’t want to burden Tom with it. It was a relief to share it with Juliet, but now she wasn’t going to be around for him.
‘Yeah, I don’t understand it either.’ he said wearily.
Tom replied, ‘Maybe hypnotism? Psychology or science might be able to explain it somehow.’ he shrugged his shoulders and left it at that.
They talked for a while longer. Tom spoke about quitting college. He’d only picked Construction because Tommy did, but now he couldn’t stand it. He mentioned that Michael was on the same course, but Michael enjoyed it and wanted to continue.
While Tom spoke of his boyfriend, Nick could see his love for him in his eyes. Nick chided himself for the jealousy that rose in him; jealousy over Tom having someone special, yet somehow Nick had screwed up his chances with Juliet.
Feeling jealous was pathetic; he brushed it off. I’m happy for Tom and Michael. I am.
During their conversation, it began to rain outside. A heavy downpour. Nick hoped that it would wash away any footprints or evidence of him and the others being on Aldrich Grendel’s land.
It reached ten o’clock in the evening, and Nick stretched a look at the dusty kitchen-clock. He yawned and apologised to Tom.
‘No, it’s my fault. I didn’t realise it was so late. I’ll get going.’
Nick didn’t protest but he reminded his brother that he would come over soon so they could all speak to their dad together. Tom showed himself out while Nick waddled to his bedroom and slid into bed.
He slept easy.
*
Getting out of bed the next day was a problem. His body was stiff, his bruises were swollen in places, and ordinary movements sent pain up and down him.
He got ready for work as fast as his injuries would let him, then left his house. On the way, he walked stoically through the lower grounds and sighed at how plain it looked now that Halloween was over. He’d already seen it looking dull after Halloween before, but today it seemed more drab than ever.
Soon the stores would be decorating for Christmas, and lights would be going up in the streets. Some shops had already started advertising Yule and Winter Solstice products, aimed at the local Pagans. All eight Sabbats (or festivals) were celebrated on Lansin Island to some extent, but none of them as hyped up as Samhain, due to commercialism and tourism.
He got to work, just on time, as his limited movement slowed him down. The other staff didn’t seem to notice his physical discomfort, which was good. For the first hour or so, he kept to himself.
Michael started work an hour after Nick and had been avoiding eye contact since he arrived. Nick went over to him, tapped his shoulder, pulled a disapproving face, and said, ‘You deceitful git.’ he shook his head, but started to laugh.
‘Are you alright wit
h it then?’ Michael slurred, awkwardly looking anywhere that wasn’t Nick’s face.
‘Of course I am. I’m happy for both of you. You’re probably the two nicest guys I know. You’re well suited for each other.’
Michael’s shoulders lowered and he breathed out with a low laugh. ‘Thanks, Nick. I really like him.’
‘From the way he spoke about you last night, I think he really likes you too.’
Nick thought about Juliet again and frowned inside. Then he had images of Aldrich’s dead body in his mind and remembered the gloopy portal. It was jarringly surreal to compare the previous day with this normal workday. He dismissed the thoughts. What was done was done.
Maybe Juliet would contact him in the future. Doubtful, she never wants to see me again, and I don’t exactly blame her.
‘Where’s Alan today?’ Michael asked.
With a sudden tightness in his chest, Nick panicked that Alan was meant to be at work today. He’d been preoccupied with the revelations about his mum’s death, so he’d put aside his worries about Alan.
‘I haven’t seen him, and I only said a quick hello to Mora and Janet.’ he answered.
‘Oh, he’s meant to be in today.’
Michael smiled at Nick then shuffled over to a customer. He hadn’t noticed the light bruises and scratches on Nick’s neck. That was good. Hopefully nobody else would either.
Nick found Mora and asked her why Alan wasn’t at work.
‘I don’t know, Nicolas. He didn’t call to let me know he was having the day off, and I can’t get through to his mobile. I’ll try him again later.’ she twisted up her mouth in a worried expression, and her green eyes shifted thoughtfully. ‘It’s not like him.’ she added.
‘I’m sure he’s got a good reason.’ Nick replied, purely because he didn’t know what else to say. He wished that Alan would never come back, after what he’d done to him, but he also felt sorry for Mora who was too trusting, and oblivious to it all.
A Death Displaced Page 20
