That was it. I reached for her, unable to watch her crumble any more. I knew that feeling all too well. I’d experienced it numerous times and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Least of all a woman.
For the second time in as many days, my soldier receded, allowing a portion of myself I barely recognized to come forth. Some instinctive part that hadn’t been created or destroyed by war. It lived under all the muck.
She clung on as if I were her only lifeline, and perhaps I was right now. I rubbed circles on her back and lowered my head to her hair, brushing my cheek over her soft strands. Small hands gripped my shirt as I pulled her up and onto my lap like a small child.
“Let it out, Red. I’ll catch you.”
Sobbing loudly, her tears wet my shirt. I held her as if she might break further. My large form swallowed her up as I wrapped her around me.
I found myself rocking like I was the one needing comfort. Perhaps it wasn’t far from the truth. I listened to her sobs ease as time went on. Having her in my arms brought forth memories of my mother doing the same thing when I’d been upset and my father worked long hours. She snuck in her own brand of compassion and care without the strict hand of my dad. I relished those times. Stolen moments I’d been able to cry and feel. Her soothing words and gentle touches. Every child needed that, right?
Pulling out of my fierce grip, Char sat upright, wiping her eyes with one hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to see me like that.”
“Stop. You don’t need to apologize. You forget who you’re talking to. There’s nothing I haven’t witnessed.” My arms still encased her. She didn’t appear in a hurry to move away entirely. “What brought it on?”
Glancing down, she shrugged. “Just sitting around, I guess. Too much time to think. I can’t get rid of the sensation of the gun pressed to my head. That stupid piece of metal could have ended it all in a flash.”
“I know it’s hard. I’ve had more than my fair share of guns aimed at me, but you have to see the positives. He didn’t pull the trigger. He could have, but for some reason, he couldn’t do it. You’re here and alive. You can’t let it destroy you. If you sit around thinking about it all the time, it will consume you.”
She stared at me, letting my words sink in. I had more than enough qualifications in the almost getting killed department to be able to advise her and she knew it.
Nodding, she pushed off me and rubbed her face. “You’re right. I need to go somewhere. Get out of here. Get my mind off it.”
Standing, I gawked at her tight little sleep shorts, which until now hadn’t grabbed my attention because I’d been too focused on snapping her out of her stupor. Legs like a giraffe’s pulled my eyes south and then north. Her back facing me as she reached into her bag to pull out some clothes, I paused at her ass, all tight and round. A touch of guilt peppered me, thinking sexual thoughts when only minutes ago she’d been a mess on my lap.
My mouth moved before my brain processed the words. “I’m taking you out.”
What the hell? I was? Good God. What was happening to me?
It’s okay, man. You feel sorry for the woman. Nothing more. Chill.
She spun and glared at me like I’d sprouted horns. “What?”
My eyes found her nipples first. I couldn’t help it. They poked through her tight shirt. It took a second before I answered as I swallowed thickly. Red had me all kinds of screwed.
“Ah, you heard me. Get dressed. We’re going out.”
“You…you…want to go out? With me?”
Sweetheart, with the way you’re looking this second, I’d go anywhere. Fuck. Get it together. This is not okay.
“That’s what I said. Moving past her, inhaling something I couldn’t pinpoint but which fluttered around my senses, I replied, “Ten minutes. Get ready. Meet me in the garage.”
Direct, bossy soldier was back. I had to dig for him and make him cooperate. It’s the only way I’d be able to survive the rest of the afternoon and evening.
Chapter Ten
Char
I’d officially turned into the type of woman I swore I never would. Needy. I’d hoped Viper would stay out longer while I cracked under the silence of his home.
And where had the asshole side of him disappeared to? His gentle compassion floored me. The way he held and caressed me. Spoken softly. Who’d have known? I didn’t think he had it in him. Mac had told me there was more to the guy than I’d seen, but I refused to believe her.
Could we actually be friends?
I changed quickly, horrified at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Brushing my hair and tying it up at least made it look half-decent. Washing my face helped, but the puffiness under my eyes remained. Hopefully, we wouldn’t be going anywhere I needed to dress up. He hadn’t said so.
Reaching for a pair of runners and socks, I was done. I entered the garage and climbed into the waiting SUV.
Buckling up, I noticed Viper had changed too. He now wore a deep green shirt which brought out his eyes, and a pair of black jeans with his signature black boots. He pulled off the look so well, it took me a moment of staring to realize he watched me ogle him, an incline to the corner of his mouth.
Pivoting to face the front, a hot rush blanching my neck and cheeks, I meekly asked, “Where are you taking me?”
Turning the ignition on and easing out of the garage, he answered, “Nowhere you have to worry about too many people.”
Attempting to conjure up an image of where I was going, I came up blank, figuring most places had people. Sinking into the seat, I let him take me. In silence, we drove. Funnily enough, it wasn’t awkward. We’d come to some form of a truce earlier and it felt…nice.
We didn’t travel far. Turning into Matthaei Botanical Gardens, my brows rose in bewilderment. “Out of all the places we could have gone, you brought me to the Gardens?”
Slipping into a parking space, he killed the engine. Angling himself toward me, he shot back, “You have a problem with our town’s gardens?”
I couldn’t help it. I smiled. For the first time in days. “No. It’s just not where I pictured a big, badass soldier would want to spend time.”
His face became guarded. “Like I said, you don’t know me.”
I truly didn’t. But I wanted that to change. Keeping things light, not wanting to spoil the mood, I sang, “Okay then. Let’s go immerse ourselves in nature.”
His lips twitched. “Let’s.”
When my hand found the door handle, he ordered, “Don’t.” Startled, wondering why he didn’t want me to get out of the car, I blinked twice, catching his back as he threw back at me while getting out, “I got it.”
Well. Things were taking a different turn. Chivalry wasn’t dead, and who would have thought a man who had been nothing but mean to me, now offered to open my door. I wasn’t about to voice my feminist ways. Let him do it. Rocking the boat when we were sailing nicely wouldn’t solve anything.
Opening my door, he lifted his hand to help me out, so I took it. Not needing it, but wanting it. I soaked up what he offered while it lasted.
The gardens were beautiful. Being a weekday, most people were working, so we only had to share it with a few.
Strolling leisurely, we enjoyed the bonsai section before finding a gorgeous rocky pond surrounded by the greenest shrubs I’d ever seen. It was a natural man-made oasis. Immediately I relaxed into the surroundings, feeling my shoulders sag and my breath lengthen.
“It’s beautiful. So quiet and peaceful.”
Even though the quiet at Viper’s house had caused me to go into a tailspin, this was different. I had company, and nature proved once again how powerful it was. Birds twittered and leaves rustled, the sun catching us as it emerged from behind a cloud.
“You’ve never been here?”
“Not to this part. It was years ago I came. I think I was still a teenager.”
“Let’s find somewhere we can sit. You want a coffee?”
“Thank you. I’d love one.”
Walking down another path, we found a park bench overlooking a larger waterhole.
“Sit and I’ll grab the drinks.”
Before I could reply he was off. Strange man. Still, this was one of the best things I’d done in a long time. With work taking up most of my life, I’d forgotten to stop and smell the roses.
Only a ten-minute drive from home, I needed to come here more often.
A noise to my right in some bushes made me stiffen. My blood began its loud roar in my ears. For a moment, I’d forgotten about my fears of being alone but suddenly without Viper, I panicked. Spinning around, I searched for the source of the sound, afraid someone would jump from the nearby bushes.
In a second, everything came hurtling back. The gun at my temple. The acrid breath near my ear. The threat of blowing my brains out. Fear rooted me to the spot. Beads of sweat pebbled on my brow. My legs became nothing more than burning pillars as adrenalin heightened. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes and then I realized I was shaking.
Finally, my brain sent a message to my legs and I ran. I needed to leave. Now. Searching the park, I couldn’t even remember where Viper had parked. Paranoia clouded my judgment. What if they’d come back looking for me? To finish me off? What if they’d been watching me all along?
Rounding a bend, twisting to see if I had been followed, I plowed into something hard.
A grunt, followed by “Oooof.” And then, “Fuck!”
Jarred from the impact, I latched on to steady myself, realizing I’d crashed into Viper, and he didn’t look too happy. A lid had come off one of the coffees he carried and some of the hot liquid had spilled down the front of his shirt, probably scalding him.
“Shit. I’m so sorry!”
“What the hell were you doing? You looked like you had a tornado on your tail.”
Feeling suddenly idiotic, I went to reach my hand out to his stained shirt. Why? I had no idea, but gripping it, I pulled it from his ripped abs as if that might stop the burn.
“I…uh…heard something.”
He was a statue of godly proportions, all tense and unforgiving. His shirt quickly stuck to his stomach again and as I looked up, I took a step back. Gone was the nice man from moments ago. A hard veneer now coated him. His green eyes, blackened marbles.
“You heard something? Jesus, Red…”
He’d been about to blow his top, but noticing the stray tear which had rolled down my cheek, he let go another curse on the crest of a heavy breath and turned.
“Car. Now.”
And so ended the peaceful afternoon. All because I’d freaked out at a noise which had probably been nothing more than a bird.
Hurrying to keep up, I observed his gait. Warrior. He’d switched into the persona that suited him best.
Reaching the car, he handed me the full coffee, walked to a trash bin, downed what was left of his, and threw the cup away.
He stalked to the driver’s side. I heard the click of the locks and climbed in, needing the safety of the SUV.
What I didn’t expect next was to see Viper pull his shirt off and climb in, throwing the ruined garment into the backseat. Holy hotness. The air had suddenly been sucked from the car. My eyes zeroed in on the red mark caused by the scalding coffee and guilt gripped me.
“We need to go to the drugstore and get some burn cream for that.” Gazing up, I collided with fire and ice. His brows drew together and then a smirk formed.
“You think I need cream for a little burn? Seriously? I’ve been shot, stabbed, starved, and beaten, and you’re worried about some spilled coffee?”
Well, I was just trying to help. Nursing experience told me some burn cream would soothe it.
“Fine. Put up with the pain then. I really don’t care.”
“Oh, you care.”
“What?”
Starting the engine, he pulled his seatbelt across his red welt and drove. “You heard me. You care. Admit it.” He wolfishly grinned now and I could have slapped him. We were officially back to our bantering. At least his anger appeared to have receded for now. Man, talk about flipping a switch. The guy was all kinds of hot and cold.
Facing the front on a huff, I spurted out, “In your dreams, Rambo.”
He laughed. He actually laughed. Hearing it for the first time threw me off. I gaped at him as if he’d just admitted to being half alien. The deep, rather loud rumble filled the car, and before I knew it I was grinning along, unable to help myself.
He slanted me an amused look, lines forming at his temples. It totally transformed his face, and if I didn’t know who sat beside me, I’d swear it was a different person. His eyes glinted and his all-American smile warmed me. He became…normal, and not a special, elite soldier.
Realizing he’d made me forget my earlier fear, I turned when he pulled into the garage at his house. I faced him fully. He took a pause as he almost opened his door, waiting for me to say something.
“Thank you,” I offered. I meant it.
“For?” His face angled my way.
“For making me forget.”
He knew what I meant. I could see it in the depths of two green irises. Almost like someone had done the same for him at some stage. I’m sure they had, given what he’d endured. Presenting me with a quick nod, he exited and I followed, glad we were back home and he was with me. I felt safe. Like having my own personal weapon of mass destruction.
“What do you want to eat, Red?”
Dinner time already? Huh. Not wanting to be a freeloader, I had an idea. “I’ll cook.”
“You cook?” He balked.
“Hello! How do you think I’ve survived on my own for so long?”
“Ah, ramen noodles?”
Seizing the dishtowel, I threw it at him. “Jerk.”
“That’s me.” He fished around in the fridge and pulled out a beer. Holding it up, he asked, “You want one?”
A cold beer actually sounded pretty good. “Yeah. Thanks. Now go and do whatever it is guys do so I can cook.”
Giving me a precise military salute and a “yes, ma’am,” he strolled into the living room.
Chapter Eleven
Viper
Something had shifted. Possibly in the park when Red’s panicked body had plowed into mine. Everything in me had fired up on instinct. I’d been ready to murder, but the fear in her eyes had simmered me down. She would be jumpy for a while after what she’d been through, so I needed to respect that. By being a dick to her, it would only serve to screw her up more. I didn’t want to be the one to push her over the edge. Never thought I’d say that, but here we were, in my home, me sitting with my feet up, beer in hand, Red in the kitchen as if we were some freaking married couple.
It had been a long time since I’d done…normal. Hearing her rifle through my cupboards looking for stuff made my chest flutter. Taking a long pull from my can, I willed the sensation away. It brought too many hard emotions back of a life I’d been mapping out with the girl I’d loved, only to have it ripped from under me. I couldn’t go there again. Wouldn’t.
Once Char had recovered, she’d be moving back home and I could get on with things.
Reaching for the remote, my private military cell pealed out, causing me to pause and stiffen. It never rang unless something was going down or Dec was in trouble and needed me urgently.
I kept it on me at all times, so after fishing it out of the pocket of my black jeans, I took a deep breath before answering.
“Go.”
Military. Another mission. Leaving in two days. “Roger that.”
I sat, taking in the words of my superior. It seemed I was heading back to Afghanistan. Char would need to stay with Mac. The idea of leaving her vulnerable twisted my insides. At the same time, the familiar rush of a battle looming ignited my dark psyche, flooding my brain with endorphins similar to a high. I wondered if Dec got a call. Unlikely, considering his recent near-death experience.
Still, after finishing the military call, I dialed the numb
er on my regular cell, I had to find out for definite. Char needed someone to protect her.
It rang three times.
“Hey bro.”
“Hey. How’s it going?”
“Good. You? You two murdered each other yet?” His dry chuckle actually served to irritate me for some reason.
“No. Not why I’m calling. Did you get a call from base?”
“Ah, not happening. I lost my military cell when I ended up bleeding and shot in the alley remember? Besides, I’m still deemed unfit for duty.”
Forgetting he’d had it stolen, a quick thought came to me, barreling and picking up speed.
“Jesus!”
“What?”
“That’s it!”
“Ah, you’re not making any sense, man.”
“Your goddam cell. Whoever tried to kill you had your freaking phone. It all makes sense. The reason our men didn’t storm the warehouse to help us save Mac. Whoever stole your phone had it that day. My guess is they used it to contact base and call off our team. Shit.”
Silence on the other end, and then heavy breathing. “Fuck me. It hadn’t entered my head. Now that you mention it, you’re right. Didn’t you ever follow it up with Sarge, though?”
“He said he’d look into it. Must have been higher up. I didn’t get a reply back. Figured he was still attempting to find out what went wrong.”
“Let’s just hope you blew the fuckers away.”
“Yeah, let’s hope.”
“You never did tell me how you got me out of that situation.”
Recalling how I’d sent Mac to the hotel to keep her safe before risking it all to save Dec, I verbalized the memory, perhaps now ready to speak about it.
“I thought you were gone, man. I didn’t know how the hell I would be able to take down three armed men on my own and not get shot.”
“You’ve taken down more than that before. I had faith in you.”
“Yeah, but with you it was different. I had more to lose. Plus, I didn’t know if they’d called for backup after they left the room. For one of the first times in my life…I was scared. Scared I’d already lost you.”
True Beginnings (The Lost and Found Series Book 3) Page 7
