She must have sensed me watching her because she turned and gifted me with her stunning eyes. They crinkled slightly, causing a zing from my heart to my groin. Turning back to the front, I had to swerve sharply to avoid driving onto the gravel on the side of the road.
“Jesus.” It came out as a quiet curse from her. “Can you watch the road, instead of me?”
Caught in the act. I didn’t know how to respond to that so I used the coping mechanism I knew well. Sarcasm.
“Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart. Not everything’s about you.”
I regretted it the minute it came out. Fact of the matter—I had been staring at her. I’d been doing it more and more. Not to figure her out, but to figure out the jigsaw puzzle of my emotions while in her company.
“Fuck you.” Her voice held some of the fire I’d witnessed when we’d first met and damn if it didn’t have me grinning like an idiot.
“Oh, you think it’s funny, do you? Being an ass. Here I thought you were actually beginning to treat me like a human. I guess now that you got your end in, it’s back to the way things were. Nice.”
Peeking sideways, the hurt on her face got my attention before she quickly shuttered it away, replacing it with the brave mask I was beginning to recognize. I felt like a dick. She’d been more than a quick roll between the sheets, as much as I hated to admit it. But my stubbornness thwarted me telling her how I felt. I’d be gone tomorrow. No sense in making promises I wouldn’t be able to keep. Friends I could do. Anything more wasn’t guaranteed.
I kept my mouth shut the rest of the way home for fear of saying something I’d regret. Drama would serve no purpose to me in the coming weeks. My head had to be back in fight or flight mode, not worrying about a sexy-ass woman and whether or not she meant anything serious or not.
Once home, I made a beeline for my room, closing the door so I could breathe properly. I needed to pack, and doing so now would give me something to focus on other than fighting to keep my hands off the redhead in my kitchen one last time before deployment.
My huge army duffel burst at the seams after throwing everything I needed into it. An hour had passed, giving me a reprieve. Seeing my gear and weapons had me psyched for what lay ahead. A thrill worked its way into my blood.
I could practically smell gunfire mixed with the rocky, mountainous dirt. The adrenalin that kicked in on the flight into enemy territory, not just mine, but the whole team. It would be weird going in without Dec this time, but I was happy he remained safe at home.
Checking I hadn’t forgotten anything, I returned to the living room to find it empty. Checking the kitchen, it too remained quiet. Grabbing a beer, I sat on the sofa and flicked on the television. I just began to immerse myself in a NASCAR race when soft feet padded down the hallway. Red moved into my line of sight, changed into a skin-tight pair of jeans with a tank. I couldn’t stop staring at her ass, knowing I’d had my hands all over it the night before. I knew what lay beneath the dark-wash denim. I barely saw her place two large bags beside the door. All I could see were two perfect globes, tightening as she bent lower. My crotch stiffened immediately. Eying a cushion beside me, I threw it over my growing erection and turned back to the TV, pretending I hadn’t been having dirty thoughts.
“I’ll be out of your hair soon. It’s four o’clock. Mac will be here in a bit.”
“You gonna be okay? With Mac?” I knew she would, but a part of me wished I could stay and make sure.
Slanting me confused eyes, she asked, “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Because Mac can’t keep you safe like I can. I didn’t voice it out loud. With any luck, Dec would be around there all the time.
Shrugging, I let my eyes say what I couldn’t. “Just want to make sure.”
She stared for a moment too long, allowing me to see behind the mask she wore. A vulnerability brought on by the attack still had her doubting leaving. Perhaps not just because I could protect her. She felt something for me. Whether it simply be sexual attraction, I couldn’t be sure, but she’d allowed me to see her at her worst, not necessarily intentionally, but to share that with someone almost always changed the dynamics of a relationship.
Moving to the other end of the sofa, she sat. “You all ready to leave early in the morning?”
Small talk was better than no talk. Taking a swig of my beer, I relaxed a little. Soon we’d be parting ways and would probably not have much more to do with each other. Life would return to normal. I could handle another hour or so of chitchat.
“Good to go.” What more could I say? I could feel her warmth reaching out to me in stark contrast to the cold beer I held.
“Will we hear from you while you’re away?”
“Nope. No contact whatsoever.”
“Oh.”
She fidgeted, crossing her legs and twisting her fingers on her lap.
Sighing out, I offered, “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. I’ve got an elite team and state of the art equipment.”
I found the stormy sea of her eyes, wishing I hadn’t. A shooting jolt of electricity speared into my torso. It almost broke some of the steel around my heart. I faltered with my bottle to my mouth, needing to say something else to erase her worry.
“Dec will keep watch over you. Make sure you’re safe.”
“It’s not that…”
Placing my beer on the coffee table, I pivoted, bending my right knee so I could face her. “Then what is it?”
“I…it’s just…I don’t want anything to happen to you. You say you’ve got a great team, but you can’t know what dangers are lurking.”
“You’re right. I can’t. But I’m highly trained. My senses are perfectly honed. I know what I’m doing.”
She really appeared rattled. Her face still held doubt. What could I do to make her believe? I lived for war. I was made to be a soldier.
Before I could utter a sound, she spoke. “How do you do it? Go fight, knowing you might not make it back?”
How did I do it? I really didn’t know. “Ahh, I’m not sure. I don’t really think about not coming back. I do what has to be done to help keep the world safe. I guess my brain is wired differently than others, but it has to be. If I freaked out over there about dying, I probably would get killed by not paying attention.”
“So…dying doesn’t bother you?”
Okay, this was a weird conversation.
“No. To be honest, living scares me more at times.” Truth. In combat, I felt comfortable. At home, I struggled.
“Hmm,” was all she murmured.
“What?”
“It’s not uncommon for soldiers to feel that way. Civilian life is hard. War changes people. Those close to you may not understand.”
“And you do?”
“Are you saying I’m close to you?”
I’d thrown myself into that one. “I’m not saying anything. I’m wondering how you know so much about what soldiers feel.”
“I’m a nurse. I’ve dealt with PTSD.”
Rubbing a hand over my face, I exhaled loudly. “And? What were your findings?”
“Exactly what I just told you. For many, they can’t take normal. They would rather be at war.”
She’d hit the nail on the head. That’s exactly how I felt, even though I didn’t want to. Did she really understand what it was like, though? How could she? You had to be inside one’s head to truly grasp the mental fuckery. But maybe having someone who had dealt with it…no. Don’t go there. She’ll forget all about you when you’re gone and move on.
A car sounded outside and then a door shutting. Footsteps coming up the front steps. Knocking.
I looked at Char.
“That’ll be Mac.” Glancing at her watch, she added, “Well, she’s early.”
On instinct, I rose and flew toward her. “Wait. I’ll get it.”
She spun, wide-eyed as if to ask why.
“You said it could be Mac, but she’s early. How often does she finish early at the hospital?”
After everything that had gone down, I wasn’t taking chances this close to my leaving.
Swinging open the door, shoulders squared, I relaxed when a smiling Mac stood there in her scrubs.
“Hi, Viper. How’s things? You all ready for tomorrow?”
Letting go of my soldier, I offered her more of the real me, smiling back. “Hi, Mac. Yeah. All set. Come on in.”
I liked her. She was cool. More importantly, she could handle Dec, which held her in high regard with me.
“Hey, girl. You’re early. That’s rare.” Char was hugging her friend.
“I know, right? One of the quietest afternoons on record. I mean, that’s good. It means no one is injured, sick, or worse, but yeah, it was actually weird. They sent me home an hour early.”
“Make the most of it when you get it,” Char answered, moving to pick up her two bags.
I couldn’t let her carry them. My mother had taught me better than that. “Here. I’ll get them.”
“Oh. Thank you.”
Our gazes locked. This was it. The defining moment. She was leaving and so was I.
The front door still sat open, so I moved away and out, peeling my eyes away. It was harder than I thought now that the moment sat heavily upon us.
The two girls followed me to Mac’s Mustang. She walked to the trunk and unlocked it, allowing me to put the bags in and shut it. My stomach churned with what? Nerves? Strange. I could go into battle without a flutter and here I stood, awkwardly not knowing what to say to a woman who appeared just as nervous. Her fidgety eyes caught mine and then the ground.
Mac cleared her throat and offered, “Okay. Well, you stay safe, you hear? We want you home in one piece.” She walked to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I hugged her back, taking in a large breath when she whispered, “Don’t worry. We’ll look after her.”
I knew Red would be in good hands, but looking at her now, she seemed like a lost lamb and a small amount of guilt rode my tail.
Her chin rose in that defiant way I’d come to know and like. “So…I guess you finally get rid of me, huh?” The smile wasn’t genuine.
“I guess so.” I regretted it before it even came out. “I mean, you look after yourself and keep Mac and Dec close.”
“Is that an order, soldier?”
“Damn straight it is.” My throat locked up. Her fiery curls were loose and flowing gently in the slight breeze, her green eyes, catching the afternoon sun, appeared almost incandescent. God, she looked stunning. Mac was in the driver’s seat and had cranked the engine, the beefy sound spurring me on to say goodbye.
“Uh, you gonna be okay?” I asked, stepping into her so we were almost flush.
Her head rose to look at me. I caught her glassy stare. She was about to cry. I caught her large swallow.
“Yeah. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry. Just go and focus on your job.”
My hand lifted without me willing it to. I needed to feel her soft cheek. To memorize it into my psyche for the dark times coming.
“I’ll see you when I see you, Red.”
She nodded, her bottom lip shaking. I decided at that moment that I’d regret it if I didn’t do it, so I slammed my mouth onto hers, not in an open-mouthed, passionate kiss, but a closed mouth goodbye-type of kiss. Her lips were soft and pliant, and it wouldn’t have taken much to have her yield to me. Fighting off the need, I pulled away and said more sternly than I wanted, “Go!” It was an order. She needed to leave so I could shut down the strange fluttering that had now grown into a sensation much larger. My heart thundered.
I couldn’t watch the car leave. I couldn’t let her forlorn face be the last thing I saw of her.
Striding toward my front door, I walked inside, slamming it behind me. Jesus! Why did I feel like I’d just let the best thing to ever happen to me drive away?
Chapter Sixteen
Char
“Okay, what was that?” Mac asked as soon as we pulled away from Viper’s house.
“What are you talking about?”
“You know what. Don’t act all innocent to me, missy. There were some serious vibes going on back there.”
She could read me like a book. I hadn’t told her about sleeping with Viper yet but apparently, it was written on my face. After she and Dec caught us making out in his kitchen, I was surprised she even asked.
Glancing tentatively at her, I sucked in a breath and blurted out, “We kind of had sex.”
Hitting the brakes and pulling into the curb she squealed, “What? Oh, my God. I knew it! When? How?”
“I think you know the how’s of it all but it happened last night.”
“Ha! You’re funny. I want details!”
“Fine, but can you keep driving while I tell you?” It would be easier to tell her while she wasn’t looking at me. I wasn’t going to share all the sordid details but simply gloss over them.
Easing back onto the driving lane, I began, “It kind of just happened.”
“Uh huh. From where I was standing in the kitchen when we arrived, I’m not surprised you needed to finish what you started.”
I ignored that. “Anyway, I was in the hallway, and he came out of the shower…”
“Naked?”
“No. Well, nearly. Just a towel.”
“Ooh, is he as ripped as Dec?”
“I haven’t seen Dec naked, but I’m guessing so.”
Mac’s eyes twinkled at the mention of her man. “Oh trust me. He’s lethal.”
We both laughed and suddenly I relaxed more. I got the impression Mac wanted to see Viper and me together. Or else she just wanted him to settle down.
“You still want Subway for dinner?” she asked, changing the subject.
“Of course.” I hadn’t really eaten much apart from the big breakfast, so my stomach rumbled from starvation.
Arriving at Mac’s with our food, my nerves kicked up again. Dec’s truck was parked in the visitor’s bay a couple of doors down.
It would be weird with him there all the time. Not that I didn’t like him, but I’d be the third wheel.
“I’ll get Dec to grab your bags. Let’s go eat.”
She led the way, pushing through the front door. Dec had just stepped from the hallway into the living room. As soon as he made eye contact with Mac, his expression changed from pensive to almost euphoric. It was actually sickening. His whole face crinkled when he smiled, and his eyes held more than just excitement to see his girl. Love. So much love. I could see it as plain as day. Mac dropped her purse, the Subway bag and the wine she must have bought before picking me up, and almost ran to him. He picked her up, pressing her to him and kissed the hell out of her.
Okay. Definitely the third wheel here. I glanced away, uncomfortable.
Mac pulled back as Dec rumbled, “I missed you, angel. How was work?”
“I missed you too. And work was quiet.”
“Huh. It happens, I guess.” He placed her feet back on the ground before he realized I stood a few feet away.
“Char. Good to see you.”
I admitted to myself his smile would make any woman swoon. One couldn’t help but smile back.
Striding forward, he embraced me in a rib-crushing hug. “You’ve come to join the funny farm, huh?”
“Hey!” Mac responded, not angry. More amused. “Speak for yourself.”
Whispering in my ear before he got a swipe on the rear he said, “Don’t listen to her. She’s crazy.”
“I heard that!” He flinched, then laughed when he received the swat on the butt.
He appeared to be doing a lot better now after his run-in with death. Twice. He was the happiest I’d known him since his full memory returned. I credited a lot of it to Mac.
“Ow, woman! You’ve got a mean backhand.”
“Good, now please go and get Char’s bags out of the trunk and put them in the spare room.”
Giving her a tw
o-fingered salute, he offered, “Yes, ma’am.”
When he walked out, I said to my friend, “You’ve got him tied around your little finger.”
“Hahahaha! Right? It’s not intentional. He just happens to adore the ground I walk on.”
“You’re lucky, you know?”
She gave me a look that told me everything. “I know. It hasn’t been easy, though. In fact, it’s been damn hard, as you are well aware of.”
“Yeah, but it’s been worth it. I’ve never seen the two of you so happy.”
“You’ll find it too. Don’t worry.” Winking, she walked to where she’d dropped the sandwiches and wine and headed into the kitchen. “Do you want a plate for your sub?”
“Please. And a wine would be great.”
“You got it. Sit and make yourself comfortable.”
I’d no sooner sat down than Dec bounded through the door with my bags. On his way to my room, he asked, “How’s my boy? He raring to go?”
Viper. “Ah, yeah. He actually is.”
Hearing him open a door and place the bags on the floor, I waited for him to return.
“Don’t take it personally. It’s a soldier thing.”
“He tried to explain it to me.”
He sat on the other side of the sofa. “He’ll miss you. That’s a fact.”
“Oh. I don’t really think he will.” Would he?
He tapped on his nose. “Instinct. Trust me. You got to him. I know my friend.”
My neck heated. Were they really that close that they could sense things so personally?
“Did he say anything to you? About me?”
“He didn’t have to. I observe. Not to mention what we walked in on.” His voice had lowered as if he didn’t want Mac to hear him mentioning it.
Embarrassed at being caught, I shot up from the couch. “I’ll just go and see if Mac needs a hand.”
I heard his chuckle all the way into the kitchen.
Chapter Seventeen
Char
True Beginnings (The Lost and Found Series Book 3) Page 11
