Oh, I was in trouble all right. Scouring the kitchen, I pondered grabbing a weapon in self-defense. He sounded murderous as heavy clomping from the crutches pounded the hallway.
I hurried to the door leading outside and opened it so I could quickly escape, should I need to.
When Viper rounded the corner, the devil himself appeared. Every morsel of his boxer-clad body was squeezed tightly, ready to pounce.
“What the Goddamn hell did you say to me? Huh? I disappoint you? Is that what I do?”
Suddenly wishing I could take the words back, I held my breath. Part fear. Part anticipation. He was out of bed. I’d achieved that, but not in the way I’d wanted. I wanted him to come willingly.
He didn’t disappoint me. Not by a long shot. But I’d said what I needed to. It had worked to an extent. Now, I didn’t know what to do next.
Lifting my chin, I mock-laughed. “Your character disappoints me. I thought you were made of steel. Unbendable. Unbreakable. It would appear I was mistaken.”
He took a step forward, then stopped. His face dropped slightly but recovered. My words had affected him. He tried hard not to show it, but I’d seen. Good. Maybe I could do this.
“Coffee’s there. Help yourself to a cup.”
Pointing to the machine, without glancing away, I noticed he didn’t even blink, let alone follow my hand. I could only read his thoughts by the small tidbits he gave away via his face or body language. His white knuckles gripped his crutches desperately. His black irises had expanded, which I knew meant one thing. He was weighing up whether to strike or not.
“You think I can’t handle anything you ask of me? I don’t want to go outside. I don’t feel like going to the lake. But you know what? Just to prove your sorry ass wrong, hold five. I’ll fucking give you what you want. And when I make it to the lake? Then what? Are you going to gloat and say, “I told you so?”
“No. I’d never do that.”
His eyes flashed as he pivoted around and began moving toward the hallway. “Fine. One trip to the lake and then you’ll get off my case and I’ll be free to do what I please until you get me the hell out of Dodge.”
Victory. I’d done it. I didn’t care if he sat inside every day hereafter. I’d touched a piece of his pride that wanted to prove me wrong. I didn’t care about his pride. I only cared about reaching him.
I stepped out onto the back porch, shivering at the fresh morning. Fingers crossed, the path to the lake wouldn’t be too tricky to maneuver on crutches.
I wanted to cave to Viper’s distress and coddle him, but not after my small victory. I’d push him further until we arrived back at the house later on. Then I’d let my wall of armor down and show him my compassion.
Five minutes exactly, the sliding door opened and Viper stepped out wearing sweats like me and a black tank. He obviously didn’t feel the cold as much.
Slamming the door and giving me a glare which could ignite dry wood, he held out one hand as if gesturing me to lead the way.
Starting off, I turned to make sure he followed. His arms strained with the effort. His mouth held firm as he stared past me.
“If I injure myself further, I’m holding you fully accountable!” he growled.
I didn’t answer. I hoped he didn’t fall or have an accident and get hurt any worse. I couldn’t live with that.
I kept a slow pace so he could keep up as we moved into thicker brush. Birds chirped and a slight breeze tickled the tops of the trees.
I found the path my father had created to be non-existent, so I forged a new route where there were fewer bushes and trees.
Every now and then I’d peer back to see if Viper was with me. He’d slowed somewhat, but he was still in view. I stopped to let him catch up.
When he caught me staring at him, he roared, “Get an eyeful, Red? Are you frigging happy now? You got me outside. I’m moving. I’m doing it. I knew I could, but you obviously weren’t as convinced I could do it.”
“You’re doing great.”
He merely huffed and shook his head.
Large tree roots slithered across our virgin trail, so when I’d stepped over them, I called back to Viper. “Be careful of the roots. Take your time.”
He didn’t answer. Nor did I expect him to. I stood back and waited for his approach. A slight sheen of sweat had broken out on his skin, causing him to shine. With the dappled light of the sunrise through the trees, he appeared god-like. His half-leg didn’t bother me at all. I had accepted it and looked beyond the missing limb.
“You expect me to get over that?” he asked, stopping.
“Yes, I do. Like I said, do it slowly.”
He eyed me with suspicion. “What are you getting out of this? Why are you doing it?”
Did he mean the walk or standing by him in general?
Before I could say another word, he mumbled. “Forget it. You’re insane. That’s why you’re making me do this.”
He got over the first large root and took a shot at the next one, almost making it when his foot caught the top of it, putting him off balance. He tried to over-correct with the crutches but failed. I reached out as if from my distance I might be able to grab him, but I wasn’t close enough. Watching in horror, he went down hard. Face down, over the last two tendrils of the tree’s roots. Shit!
I moved without thinking. “Are you all right?” Silly question.
His face lifted with dirt on it. He’d let go of his crutches by putting out his hands to try and cushion his fall. I went to grab one, but a large hand came around my ankle, squeezing like a manacle. I sucked in a breath at the surprise move, stopping short just shy of his head.
“You!” he screamed. “You did this! You and your fucked up ideas! You see? Do you see now why this was a stupid, stupid plan? Look at me! Look. At. Me. This is disappointment, plain and simple. I’m disappointed in myself! I’ll never walk properly again! Imprint this moment into your brain, sweetheart, because this is the new version of me. This is reality. Not some fantasy you’ve concocted in your head about life moving on as if nothing has happened.” I’d never heard him so angry.
I felt terrible. I had caused this. Maybe Dec’s plan hadn’t been thought through enough. After all, not much time had passed since his return from Germany. In fact, it seemed so silly now that I’d even brought him to the lake house. He should have been at home recuperating. His psychologist had agreed to my request at bringing him out here, but perhaps we’d all got it wrong.
I dithered. He fumed.
“Get the fuck away from me. Leave me alone. You. Can’t. Fix. Me. I’ll find my own way back. And when I do, I’m calling a cab and heading home.”
When I simply stood staring, eyes wide, he added, “Go! Get out of my sight.”
His malice had me moving back, tears forming. I’d failed. I’d truly failed. He’d been right all along. It had been stupid to think he could overcome his disability so fast. It was even stupider to think I’d help make a difference.
He needed to cool down and I needed to get out of his orbit.
Spinning on my heels, I pushed through some leaves and branches blocking my way until I couldn’t see him. I shouldn’t be leaving him alone, but damn that man. He’d never accept my help now. How had I failed?
Dec’s words kept playing over and over. He’d be disappointed. Now it would all be up to him to get through to his friend.
Get him outside any way you can. Dig your heels in.
Had I dug hard enough? I bet he’d listen to his military superiors if they were here. I bet he’d always taken orders from them.
My legs moved on their own as I played scenarios out in my head. Were there women in the military who men took seriously? How did they get their orders across?
Something triggered in my brain. A small spark of hope. I’d need to go all out and be someone I wasn’t. Getting him out of the house had been a case of goading him. Making him want to prove me wrong. Could I do it again? Could I turn into a full-on drill sergea
nt?
I was almost at the lake. I could see water twinkling through the trees. I should have kept going to sit for a bit, but the sliver of an idea I had begun to grow. As I remembered Viper’s anger toward me at trying to help, my own blood began to boil. How dare he treat me like that! Sure, it may have been my fault that he was outside, but I didn’t trip him up. He’d looked at me as if I was the vilest creature on the Earth.
Nope. I wasn’t leaving him to stew while on his way back to the house to call a cab. I needed to fix things.
Reversing my journey, my feet stomped as my own anger fueled.
Finding him sitting against a tree with his head down, I moved into his space, deciding if I was going to be someone I wasn’t, it needed to sound convincing.
“Eyes up, soldier!” I yelled at point blank range.
His head shot up, eyes drilling a hole through mine.
“What?” he gritted out, in my face.
Don’t back down. Don’t back down.
“I said, eyes up, soldier! On your feet! Now!”
I didn’t recognize the woman barking orders. Surprise lit Viper’s face for a moment so I urged on.
“That’s an order! We don’t give up. Ever. We’re almost there. Do I have to carry you?”
I didn’t move my face away from him or my penetrating stare. His eyes flickered and he blinked a couple of times, almost looking through me.
“Are you a quitter?” I screamed, my breath fanning over his skin. My voice was deafening but he didn’t flinch. He didn’t move. He sat stock still. I could tell his mind ticked over as he watched me.
“Answer me, soldier! Are you a quitter?”
A slight shake of his head.
Not good enough. “Answer me!” My throat had dried and began smarting with the force I used to propel my voice. I prayed to God this worked. Silence had me doubting, but holding my aggressive stance, eyeballing him, I watched as a shift took place.
“No, Sarge!” he roared back.
Not allowing myself a high-five yet, I got into the role.
“Then, I’m giving you an order! On your feet!”
Giving him some room, I stood, still unable to disengage my attention.
He paused, but slowly began to hoist himself up, using the tree trunk to lean into as he placed his crutches under his arms.
Finally!
“Now, move!” I hollered. “Don’t be a pussy! Get your ass down to that lake at all costs! The enemy is on our tail!”
I could tell the moment he took on the true role of a soldier. His gaze turned from pissed at me to determined. He scoured the area as if a gun-wielding enemy might appear out of thin air. He’d jumped into the role, actually believing I was his sergeant. Another switch flicked. He had so many trigger points. He could go from one to the other in the blink of an eye. I’d just triggered the most significant one. Dec had been right. It was what he needed. I could see it in the sudden change in his posture. In the set of his mouth. His energy changed.
Roaring into the quiet, he pushed past me, and made it over the tree roots, vanishing into the brush before my eyes.
Not wanting to lose him, I kept pace, wondering how long I’d need to keep up the charade. Did he literally think he was back on tour?
What if I’d totally messed with his mind and turned him into someone with a split personality?
Ugh. I’d deal with that later. Right now I had to play out the role and see where it led. At all costs. I was truly winging it now and didn’t know when or if I could stop.
His mighty warrior frame stood at the water’s edge as I broke through the clearing. His upper torso heaved. He didn’t turn when I approached.
Should I bark some more orders? We’d arrived at the lake. Now what? My adrenalin had peaked and was dropping.
I let him have a moment before touching his arm. It prompted him to whimper.
“Are you okay?” I asked, cautiously.
His head fell forward and his shoulders shook. Damn. Was he crying?
I edged around to the front of him, placing both my hands on his shoulders and pushing him more upright.
His head raised and my heart stalled. Fat sobs broke free as his tears fell. Pain. So much pain coated his features. Whatever false reality he’d been in moments earlier, he’d broken free of it.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you.” Reality came crashing into me hard.
Never before had I taken such a tone with anyone, let alone a man. And least of all one who’d endured so much. Remorse flooded me.
He opened his mouth but nothing came out. I faced the water, ashamed I’d made a grown man cry. We stood in silence for way too long but I couldn’t speak. I needed to know what went on in his brain.
“I…I didn’t think I’d get to feel that again.”
Confused, I faced him again. “What?”
“The thrill. The adrenalin surge. Knowing you’re close to someone who will kill you as quickly as you could blink. Using the discipline of your superiors to do the best. To be the best. Using the part of your brain wired for war…” He choked on a sob. “For a brief moment, I was back there. I felt it.”
All of a sudden, I got it. I got how his mind worked. A soldier’s head lived and breathed in a different world to the one civilians existed in. We feared danger. Warriors like Viper craved it. He didn’t know how to cope without it. He was afraid.
His attempted suicide. He probably didn’t want to die, but he didn’t want to live in a world without the rigid structure he had become so used to. He didn’t do mundane and routine. Without the thrill of battle, he didn’t know who he was. He was scared he’d totally lose himself back in the real world now that going on missions was no longer an option.
I didn’t know how I’d ever replace the life he’d known. I couldn’t.
“But you!” A tear fell onto his kissable lips. Lips I’d tried not looking at since arriving at the cabin. I couldn’t help it now. The droplet held firm on his bottom lip until dropping off when he spoke again. “You feisty, frustrating, fucking amazing woman who I want to beat the crap out of right now.”
Okay, now I was confused. Finding his red, watery eyes, I raised an eyebrow in question.
Steadying himself on his crutches, he raised his hand and placed it on my jawline. Palm flat. His thumb touched the corner of my mouth.
His touch lit my skin with goosebumps, the tenderness in stark contrast to the rest of him.
“You get it. You get me! You finally realize how I operate. I didn’t think you ever would or could. Dec’s the only one who understands. How did you figure out what I needed? What I still need?”
Should I let him in on Dec’s helping hand? I didn’t see why not.
“You shouldn’t give me all the credit. Dec told me to play hardball. He didn’t exactly tell me to go all military on you. That was all me.”
He smiled. Actually smiled. An expression I’d missed so much. His whole face shone even with the tears.
“You fucking broke me wide apart, woman.”
His grip tightened and he pulled me forward. I went willingly.
When his lips touched mine, I held on, supporting him at the same time. Both of his crutches dropped as his arms came around me. As the kiss deepened, my knees weakened but we held each other up.
I knew at that moment that I could do anything. Take on the world. I could be what Viper needed.
Pulling back, he asked, “The question is, are you willing to put me back together?”
Challenge accepted. I’d found my place in life. It was right here with this man whom I loved to hate. I had seen him at his worst and now knew how he ticked. With that knowledge, I could help him cope. If he needed me all badass and aggressive, I’d be what he needed. In return, he’d protect me, steadfast and true. He’d provide my body with what it needed and challenge me at every turn. But with his arms around me and his stunning green eyes showing me every emotion he could muster, I knew we were in this together. For the long
haul. I wasn’t a quitter and I’d damn well make sure he wasn’t either.
Kissing him chastely, I replied, “Every last delectable piece. Now take me to bed. That’s an order, soldier! Think you can make it back the way we came?”
He’d already let go of me and was crouching to pick up his ticket out of the woods.
Giving me a sideways, sexy smirk, his tears now drying, he led the way. “See if you can keep up!”
Everything would be all right. I tapped into the part of him he thought he’d never see again. He’d already lost his leg. Losing a piece of his soul had been a burden he hadn’t wanted to carry. With me by his side, I’d take some of that load and lessen the burden. He understood now. Following behind him, he veered off the path we’d created on the way to the lake. For whatever reason, he’d changed, a new path formed. One with uncertainty but one he was willing to take. With me.
THE END
Acknowledgements
Thank you to Limitless Publishing for allowing me to publish my stories and reach thousands of new readers. It has opened up so many new doors for me that I never imagined possible and I’ve met the most amazing people!
Toni Rakestraw, my editor, you rock! My books shine with your dedication and support. I couldn’t imagine putting my books into anyone else’s hands. You see things I can’t and have taught me a lot about writing and bettering my work. Thank you so much!
My friends and family. You guys are the best and I love you all. I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am today without your unwavering support.
Chris Shramm! Thanks for helping me figure out a war scene I was having difficulty with. Having served in the army, there’s no one I would trust more with firsthand knowledge about the subject.
Cher Shramm for always supporting my writing. We might not see as much of each other as I’d like, but you’re still one of my best friends. Your strength continues to amaze me!
My housemate Audrey for letting me run scenes by you and giving me advice on something I’m stuck on. Thank you for being there for me during my stressful twelve months!
True Beginnings (The Lost and Found Series Book 3) Page 19
