by Diana W
“Desperation,” I stated. “We will rob, steal and kill as a means to get what we need for our own survival and that of our families.”
“A case of the Have and Have Nots,” the same girl who initially responded, chimed in as if she finally understood what he meant.
“Exactly,” Elliott pointed at her. “Thank you for that insight Miss Taylor.” His eyes went to me, delivering a gut punch that we still weren’t on good terms.
I bit the inside of my cheek, to prevent an outward display of emotion but I refused to leave. Not until I got what I needed to get off my chest with him.
Completely enthralled with his words, I didn’t realize how quickly an hour and a half passed until he dismissed his students. I stayed put, watching them each pass me by. When the close of the door signaled the last person’s departure, my gaze went to Elliott who was packing up his things.
“You must’ve been pretty bored to come waste an hour in here,” he snorted with a mix of seriousness and comedy.
I got up and descended down the large steps. “Hearing you speak is always an adventure, Dr. Watson.”
“Be careful,” he placed a few papers in his bag, “I may actually take that as a compliment.”
“You should,” I stepped in front of him, my eyes reaching up to his.
He held my gaze for a few seconds but quickly directed his attention back to his things. “How can I help you Cassandra?” I couldn’t remember the last time he’d called me by my full name.
“I heard you loud and clear the other night,” my tongue felt heavy. Sorrys weren’t a big part of my repertoire. “And I wanted to apologize for the part I played in our disconnect.”
“What exactly did you hear?” He placed the strap over his shoulder sounding unmoved.
“That... I stopped paying attention to your needs and wants even though you were satisfying mine.” My eyes then drifted to my purple ankle booties. “And maybe I need to seek outside help for my unresolved issues. I wasn’t a good wife to you...for you Elliott.” I brought my now watery eyes back up. “I know that now. I’m just sorry it took so long.”
Elliott took a deep breath and closed his eyes like he was attempting to process what I was saying. He opened them back and grabbed my hand, squeezing it. “Thank you for saying that. I have somewhere to be but thank you for coming here to tell me that. It means a lot.”
I nodded. “Well,” I wiped away a stray tear. “Don’t let me keep you.”
For a second, there was silence between us and then Elliott leaned forward placing the softest kiss on the corner of my mouth. “Have a good one, Cass.” He said before exiting the room.
I stood there for a second, feeling relieved yet empty. I don’t know what else I expected him to do with the apology. Go back to being married like nothing ever happened? I don’t know. Did I even still want that? Hell, did he even want me?
Chapter 17
Julian: YOU NEED TO ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE
I couldn’t dial his number fast enough. “What in the entire hell is your problem?!” Was my warm, opening line.
“Problem? You’re the one with the fucking problem! Where the hell you been at Cass? Why a nigga gotta talk to you crazy for you to answer the phone?” He belted.
“Julian, contrary to what you think, I’M. NOT. OBLIGATED. TO. CALL. YOU! Didn’t we already have this conversation?!”
“Our conversation was about me showing up at your job and boundaries, not about you ducking me like I’m some kind of lame! Who the fuck you think I am?!”
“I don’t know who you are, but an overstepping asshole is what you’re becoming. Doesn’t feel too good when somebody goes ghost on your ass, does it?”
“Yo, you serious right now?” He paused. “This a fuckin game to you?”
I wasn’t purposely ignoring him, but he didn’t need to know that. He was confusing my wanting to be around him as an obligation rather than a choice and he needed to be corrected or leave me the hell alone. The sex was amazing but not that mind-blowing for this type of bullshit.
“I’m not playing games just like I’m not your fucking woman.”
“Bet.” Is how he ended the call, hanging up in my face.
“Stupid ass,” I took a huff of frustration and tossed my phone on the sofa. I had better things to do than argue with a man, I was in no shape or form, in a relationship with.
The knock at the front door made me freeze. My mind automatically going to Julian. I cussed myself for letting him know where I lived. As a precaution, I scurried into the kitchen and grabbed the swiss army knife I kept in the junk drawer, hoping like hell I didn’t have to use it but if Julian wanted to get crazy, we could go there. I carefully opened the door surprised to find Elliott on the other end. I unlocked the storm door and allowed him in.
“Hey, sorry about dropping in on you,” he rushed in. “I can’t find my lucky tie in all of my stuff and I have a big meeting with the school’s Vice President first thing in the morning.”
“The vintage one?” I asked hiding the knife behind my back.
“Yeah. I looked through everything twice and still haven’t run across it. Please tell me you’ve seen it.” His expression hopeful.
I shook my head, “I haven’t but then again, I wasn’t looking for it. You can go check if you want.” My head tilted in the direction of the stairs.
It was brief but Elliott’s glance over of my body, made me realize how inappropriately dressed I was. Braless in a grey razor back sleep shirt that barely made it to my thighs. Shit, I wasn’t expecting company and even though it was only Elliott, it felt...weird.
“Ok, I shouldn’t take too long,” he nodded and then disappeared up the stairs.
I prayed he hadn’t noticed my embarrassingly hardened nipples. It was his fault anyway for coming over here smelling like a fresh shea butter shower.
A few loud thumps and a distinct “Shit” made me toss the knife back in the kitchen drawer and go upstairs to investigate.
I walked in the bedroom to see a few of my shoeboxes scattered on the floor of the closet and I assumed Elliott's head was used to break their fall.
“You okay?” I held back my amusement at the sight of him rubbing his forehead.
“Yeah man. When did you start putting your shoes up there?” He questioned already back shuffling through my hangers of clothes.
“Since I had space to finally fit them all in here,” I raised an eyebrow. I didn’t have to use one of guestroom’s closets as a backup anymore since his side was available.
“Hmm,” he continued with his search, now shifting it to the few drawers and compartments he had built into the closet a couple of years ago. Rather than continue to observe him, I decided to start looking too but in the dresser his socks and underwear used to reside in. He still had a few random things here and there that I assumed he didn’t deem important enough to take with him. Pulling open the second drawer, the prized burgundy tie laid flat under a few pairs of his dress socks. I held it up.
“Hell yeah!” He shouted before I could inform him of the discovery. I pushed all the drawers back shut as he approached me.
“Thanks for that,” he smiled as I placed it in his hands.
I nodded my you’re welcome. “You need anything else?”
Elliott shoved the tie in the pocket of his sweats, his face twisting uncomfortably. “Don’t ask me that.”
My expression had to be showing my sudden confusion. “Why?”
“It’s nothing.” He quickly shook whatever it was off. “Have a goodnight Cass.” He left out the room almost in a hurry.
I trailed him just shy of the top of the steps. “Elliott, what’s wrong? What did you mean by that?”
He was nearly to the last step.
“Elliott. Please tell me. I can take it.” I was pleading but I didn’t care. I didn’t want him reserving his thoughts when it came to me anymore. If he was delivering another harsh reality check, so be it. I deserved it.
He s
topped. Taking a second before he spun around. He looked up at me with an iron clad poker face. I braced myself, preparing to take whatever he was no doubt going to give. He was now headed back in my direction, skipping two steps at a time, eyes ablaze. He was moving so fast that I took a step back for fear of him running me over. Coming off the top step, he grabbed the sides of my face. crashing his lips into mine. I backed up into the nearest wall with my confused arousal finally registering what was happening. My hands carelessly paraded all over his body, greeting every familiar crevice and line.
“I tried Cass. I did,” he said through rushed breaths. “But I needed to touch you.” His tongue back to fighting for dominance over mine.
I felt dazed when his hands began massaging my breasts. Thumbing my cotton covered nipples to the point of a delicious pain. My knees were weak enough to collapse at any given moment. I didn’t know what his full intent was, but I put mine out there, once I tugged down his sweatpants. I freed what was already fighting to come out.
“Do whatever you need to do to me,” I declared barely above a whisper. Our eyes locking with my willingness to submit my body to him. Elliott didn’t respond but as he freed me of my red panties, I had my answer.
He wrapped one of my thighs around his waist, allowing me to remain standing upright as he guided himself inside of me. Both of us hissing at his full length reaching its capacity. One hand kept my thigh locked in place while the other held my face. We stared at each other with a fire I hadn’t felt since our first few years of dating. Back when I thought our love was the answer to world peace. It was so raw. So uncomplicated. So beautifully natural.
Each unrushed thrust brought my emotionally charged pleasure to the forefront. Whereas Julian could deliver that back-aching kind of sex, Elliott took his time perfecting it like a work of art. Careful but precise with each stroke, turning the act into an overall experience. His forehead connected to mine as he buried himself deeper like he wanted to be closer than we already were. And that feeling, I understood.
A throaty cry left my lips as my body began to shake. Peaking uncontrollably while my head moved from side to side. I couldn’t stop the numbing waves from hitting me nor did I want to.
“That’s what I needed to hear,” Elliott groaned into my ear.
His breathing hitched as his unusually noisy grunts signaled to me that he was joining my high. He bit his bottom lip and squeezed my thigh for support. We stood there in our rugged breathing, our eyes finding each other again. I was too afraid to say anything. Wanting to live in this euphoric bubble just one more second longer before he could say it was a mistake. Something I wouldn't agree with.
“You ok?” He asked placing my leg down.
I was more than okay. I felt like I had just screamed from a mountain top, but I simply nodded. “You?”
He nodded as well, bringing his forehead to mine. His change in demeanor already showing me what I was expecting. “Cass, I didn’t mean-”
“Don’t.” I stopped him. “I wanted to. I needed to.” I corrected.
He stared into my eyes and then my lips. His mouth back again covering mine as I looped my arms around his neck, swept right back up into his sensuality. Eventually, we both found some willpower to break away.
“What do we do now?” I spoke up first trying not to sound as eager as I felt.
He sighed, still not releasing his hold on me, “I don’t know...I don’t know.”
“You don’t have to go,” I gently fixed him back into his pants.
“I do,” he sounded regretful. “I gotta wake up with the roosters in the morning and all of my clothes are at my apartment on the other side of town.”
That slapped me back into reality informing me just how far removed we were from us. “Your apartment?”
“I couldn’t crash by Trevor forever Cass. You know that’s not me,” he admitted.
And I did know that but an apartment? A lease was so permanent.
Yeah dummy, just like the divorce you were shoving down his throat.
“Hey,” he brought my chin up, seemingly reading my thoughts. “We have a lot of things to talk about and we’ll start tomorrow, ok?”
I leaned in and kissed him on the lips. “Ok.”
“Come lock the door.” He turned away, heading back down the steps.
I followed behind him, sadness tugging at me. Even though he said we would talk, I was still unsure of what to expect. We had so many things to address, especially Victoria’s plus one and even Julian. He opened the door stepping one foot outside but stopped and turned around pulling me by the waist.
“Tomorrow,” he repeated again. It was confirmation that he was looking forward to it as well.
“Tomorrow,” I repeated, allowing a small smile to slip out.
“Get some sleep.” He kissed my forehead and made his exit. I watched him from the doorway until he pulled off.
Shutting the door, I grabbed my phone and the bowl of grapes I was attempting to eat before Julian lost his mind in that message and headed up to my room to take a bath. I unintentionally smirked at my underwear balled up near the top step. A reminder that maybe I hadn’t completely lost Elliott like I originally thought. I swiped it up, tossing it into the dirty basket on my route to the bathroom.
A few minutes later, I was submerged neck deep in hot water and bubbles. Jasmine candle burning, Prince blaring and eating from the bowl of grapes at the corner of the tub like a queen. I was in the middle of hitting a rather high note in Diamonds and Pearls, when the sound of glass breaking jolted me upright. It was loud of enough for me to know it was coming from in the house versus outside. I got up, wrapping the towel around my dripping body, making sure to grab my phone when I finished. I carefully walked out of the room, looking over the banister, checking for an origin of the sound.
Nothing.
I descended the steps slowly, my eyes scanning every area that came into view but there was still nothing out of place. Midway into the threshold of the kitchen, I hissed at the sudden stabbing pain in my foot. Leaning against the kitchen isle, I turned my foot up for observation, removing a bloody penny-sized glass piece from it which prompted my eyes to gravitate to the only glass items in that area- the large bay windows surrounding the kitchen table. There was a rock the size of baseball sitting on the tile floor just shy of one of the chair legs. Somewhat limping towards it, I spotted another.
“What the hell?” I tightened the towel wrapped around me.
Darkness suddenly overcame the room, freezing my body in fear.
My feet opted for flight, taking me as fast as they could into the walk-in pantry. Forcing me to slam its door shut, holding onto the knob to the point of pain. My free hand shaking as I dialed 911. I didn’t even know what to report this as. Vandalism? Break in?
Oh God! Was somebody already in the house?
I whispered out to the dispatcher about somebody possibly still being there for a faster response and she thankfully informed me there was a unit in route less than two minutes away.
She wanted me to stay on the phone which I obliged, still fighting t0 quiet my deafening breathing.
“Cassandra!” I heard a hard pound at the front door. “It’s Lucas! Are you okay in there?!”
I took the biggest sigh of relief hearing his voice, but I was still too afraid to move. It was still dark despite the normal glow of the moonlight and I honestly didn’t know if whoever did this actually left.
I hung up on the dispatcher and dialed Lucas’ number, praying he had his phone on him.
He picked up on the first ring. “Cass! Where are you?! I heard your address on the radio call.”
“I’m in the kitchen. In the pantry. I..I don’t know if I’m in the house alone,” I admitted still squeezing the knob.
“Ok...Ok. Your kitchen is to the right of the house?” He asked.
“Yeah.”
“Is there a back door connected to it?
“Yeah..yeah if you go to the back of the house,
” I spilled out.
“Ok. Sit tight and don’t move.”
“Ok.” I tried not to panic.
I heard the crunching of grass coming from the left and I knew it had to be Lucas walking near the busted windows.
“It’s just me,” he called out reassuring me
The toggling of the back door, then his flashlight led footsteps nearing the pantry gave me the courage I needed to finally let go of my grip. I pushed the door open, rushing to wrap my arms around him for safety. I’m sure it caught him off guard, but I didn’t care.
“We need to get you outside until everybody else shows up.” He cloaked me in his arms. “Shit, you can’t go like this.” He removed his coat draping me in it.
****
I hugged Lucas’ coat tighter around me as I sat in the back of one of his colleagues' units. I was able to give him directions of where to find my t-shirts and bottoms, but I was still freezing with my wet hair. In between answering questions like “who I thought would’ve done this?” and “if I had made any enemies recently, I was trying desperately to get in contact with Elliott. The fact that he wasn’t answering was frustrating the hell out of me. It was out of character for him. Unless he was in class or a meeting, he was answering my calls. Thankfully I was able to get ahold of Denise and that was only because I called Gerald. I knew he would’ve still been up with his gaming.
“Any luck?” Lucas approached me in a long-sleeved NOPD logo covered t-shirt and jeans.
“None with Elliott but my sister and her husband are on the way.” My eyes floated up to his.
“Ok, good. Well, we’ve looked all over the house and nothing’s been damaged besides what you already know about. You sure you don’t have any idea who could’ve done this?”
My mental alarms were already ringing Julian’s name. “Remember when I ran into you that night at the diner? And I told you I was meeting with a friend?”
“Yeah.” He folded his arms awaiting more.
