“What’d you think was so funny when we came in?”
Tommy smiled. “Sorry about that. I didn’t expect you guys to come in wearing your costumes. John and I don’t know much about Hollywood reality shows. I didn’t mean anything insulting. I guess you guys have to be in character all the time, huh?”
Atkins smiled self-consciously and shrugged. “Yeah, but it was kind of silly wearing them here. We were a little on edge meeting up with you guys. We’ve all seen Mr. Harding fight, and we know a little bit about the crew you guys have up in Oakland. Just the little bit that’s been published in the media about you guys is incredible.”
“I hope your leg will be okay, Mr. Atkins,” Kevin said. He gave Kensy a gentle hug. “Like I told Kensy, I didn’t know what to do. I thought maybe if I didn’t do something you guys would Mace me and beat me to death.”
The four guys all looked at each other before Atkins led the rest of them over to shake Kevin’s hand. “We were idiots. Mr. Dubrinsky has explained a lot to us about our goofy actions. You could have killed us all, but you didn’t. Mr. Dubrinsky believes we need you in our crew, and I think he’s right. I admit we are kind of a joke at this bounty hunter gig. You were the first real badass skip we’ve attempted to apprehend. We’ve all worked movie sets as key grips, cameramen, doing stunts, lighting and extra work. Jerry has experience writing screenplays. We’re trying to make a little money, and interest a producer in a reality show set in Hollywood. Mr. Dubrinsky says he could use us to do some P.I. type detective work, but he won’t even consider it unless you sign on to the idea.”
“I’m in,” Kevin said emphatically. “May I make a suggestion though?”
Atkins nodded. “Sure.”
“If we get into something really weird or dangerous, we need to ask for help from John’s Oakland crew. I know from my own experience, unintended circumstances pop up, and especially when it involves apprehensions.”
“That’s a great idea,” Atkins admitted, turning to me. “Do you field any of your crew for consults or joint actions, Mr. Harding?”
Tommy handed him a card. “Yep. You name the job you want done, and I’ll give you a figure, whether you want us to advise, act jointly, or do the whole gig while your crew acts out for the camera. My e-mail address is on the card. If you just need advice, either call or write. John and I want this new thing with Kevin to work for everyone.”
“If everything else is okay, and there are no more questions, I think Tommy and I will leave you guys to it. I’m sure Chad has some plans to discuss with you all. Will you need Kevin to stay?”
“He can go back to the hotel with you, John. Now that-”
“I have an extra room,” Kensy interrupted. “We’ll need to start rehearsing and showing him the ropes for what we have in mind.”
“Uh… okay then.” I shook everyone’s hand again, including the stunned Kevin. “We’ll drop your bag off at Ms. Talon’s place. We have the address. Tommy and I will stop by your house before we leave, Chad. Thanks for all your help. We’re square.”
“Not hardly. See you guys later.”
* * *
When we cleared the building, we just started laughing. It continued on into the GMC with Tommy driving.
“Now that’s entertainment, John. Did you see Kev’s face? Are you sure it was safe to leave him there? I think the Buffster’s going to eat him up like a big happy meal.”
“From the smile he had on his face, I don’t think he cares one way or another. That was the strangest talk of a partnership I believe I’ve ever heard.”
“Partnership, my ass. What about starting a romance with breaking your soon to be girlfriend’s nose?”
Good point. “You’re right, T. Never saw that one coming. I thought when Chad was talking about her liking Kev, I thought he meant she didn’t want to beat him up anymore. That was very disrespectful laughing at those guys when they came in uniform. You should be ashamed.”
“They were just too cute for words. Anyway, you’re right. Kev will be fine. Maybe that’s how it’s done here in tinsel town. I’m glad we’re dropping his belongings off over at the Buffster’s. We’ll be able to make sure he’s still alive before we head north.”
“Yeah, we don’t want to get all the way home only to spot his picture on the side of a milk carton.”
* * *
The next morning, we’re headed over to the Buffster’s house, having allowed for LA commuter traffic to die down a bit before we drop off Kev’s bag. We planned to leave for home right after saying our goodbyes to Halliday. It turned out that Kensey Talon owned a real nice little place located in nearby Bellflower. We parked and approached the house over the cute walkway. Halliday met us at the front door in jeans and a t-shirt. Kensey, the little minx, slipped up from behind him, dressed in only his pullover shirt from the day before. She waved at us as Kevin opened the screen door and took his bag. We shook hands.
“I’m… ah… glad you’re doing okay. Tommy and I have to head back home. I will probably return soon once I find out the extenuating circumstances involved in the kidnap case. I’ll give you a call.”
“Thanks, John. I don’t know how to thank you and Tommy enough. If you need anything when you’re down here, just call me. Kensey… she… ah… well, she’s very special to me. I hope to be right here.”
“He’ll be here, Mr. Harding,” the former Buffster stated, hugging him.
“I believe her, John,” Tommy said. “If you two ever need our help, you have my number. I want pictures and video of any operation your group performs down here. John and I will critique it, and let you know if it looked good. Be careful with this P.I. work, okay?”
“We will, Mr. Sands,” Kensey answered for Kev. “Dan told me we’ll be the romantic complication in our reality show… only it won’t be complicated.”
“I see that. C’mon, John, let’s get going. I think Kev will be in good hands.”
“I believe you’re right, Tommy. Bye you two. Stay in touch.”
“We will, John,” Kev called out as we walked to the GMC.
“Maybe we need to add a matchmaking service onto the business.”
I laughed appreciatively, nodding my head as we neared the GMC. “Good one, T. What part of the new business do you want?”
“I’ll take over the videos, and use Jafar to create a full proof protocol,” Tommy went along with the joke. “What part do we give Montoya?”
“The complaint department of course.”
We had a great time for a full hour on the way home thinking of possibilities handled by the Montoya complaint department in our pretend matchmaking scheme for the business. I came up with the greeting where the clients come in with complaints about our matchmaking skills, and Lynn pulls out her butterfly knife, click-clacking it from open to closed repeatedly. Tommy vetoed the idea, claiming if she did that, we’d not only lose the customers, who would run screaming from the office, but there wouldn’t be any need for a complaint department.
Speaking of complaints, we ran into a bit of trouble when Lora found out I gambled two grand on Kevin’s rehabilitation, and another grand on expenses. She FaceTimed me into faking snores, and having my head bang against the window as I passed out from sheer boredom. Nothing shut down our office manager’s claims of dereliction of duty, being spendthrifts, letting a known felon sucker us, and most importantly - not updating her every hour. I had to endure this with Tommy trying to drive the GMC while attempting to snatch my i-thingy out of my hand and throw it out the window. We tried reasoning with her, but in the end, I had to shut her off.
Tommy wasn’t happy anyhow. “You should have turned her off forty-five minutes ago! If you would have kept letting her chew your balls off for another five minutes I think I would have run the GMC into oncoming traffic. I know you could tell inside of thirty seconds she wasn’t going to listen to reason.”
“You’re not very supportive of my marital negotiating temperament, T.”
He cracked
up at that pronouncement. “Remember the days when I just relayed messages to you? Man, things sure were simple then. When Tess showed up, mixin’ civilian lawyers with Strobert and CIA business, things went to hell quick. You did take on nearly our whole crew though during that fiasco. Things were changing anyway, I guess.”
No doubt about that. “We had to change with the times, T. You know that. I had another master, and the guy who eventually gained control is the right guy for the job. We can joke about Denny Strobert being the spawn of Satan, but he’s on the right side of a vast pile of shit. I was about ready to ship out to Afghanistan because of the Samira deal.”
“No shit?”
“I was in, and I don’t fuck my country. I’m still in the Marines. They need me more where I’m at, but at the time when that traitor was in a CIA authority position, I figured it was either ship out or kill him for a while there.”
“You put together a hell of a crew now. I like that Laredo guy.”
“If things go really well, we may be able to fly anywhere we need to go with him on board. He can fly anything with wings or a rotor, and he’s the best I’ve ever seen in a combat zone. Add in that he has mad computer skills, and I can’t think of a better final addition.”
“I heard the guys talkin’ about you flying.”
Apparently, Tommy’s hearing about some of our business he hasn’t agreed to embrace on a need to know basis. He’s my brother in all but blood, and the fact he calls me White-bread, so I shrug it off. “Yeah, I got updated every time I disappeared back in the day, along with my language skills. My flying gets disrespected by my crew… as usual.”
“That’s tight, John. If some of them are unhappy about your flying, it means they must have been along for the ride somewhere.”
Uh oh. Past flashes streaked through my head of a couple missions where I didn’t have any choice but fly us or die. “Could we just leave it at the ride was a little shaky, but since I’m here talking to you, it was a success?”
“Yeah, brother,” Tommy acknowledged. “I understand. Anything you don’t practice all the time as a backup would naturally be shaky.”
“See, that’s what I told them, T. The next mission we all went on together… they brought their own barf bags, bopping them around in front of me. Our damn pilot immediately thought he was going to get killed, because that would be the only circumstance that would put me in a position to fly our ride. I had to convince him it was an inside joke. See, Laredo would have laughed his ass off.”
Tommy glanced over at me real serious. “I don’t get to say this much, but I’m damn proud to know you and help you. When Tess started bonding with the CIA, I finally started to nudge some incidents together, especially with how put out Strobert seemed because he could only reach you through me. I love this damn country, and knowing guys like you, and even Montoya, would do anything to protect what we take for granted means a hell of a lot to me.”
“If you hadn’t latched on to me I’d be in Afghanistan right now, my brother. I’ve already been in the ‘stans. I don’t like them. When that guy died in my first MMA match, I figured I was toast. When you walked up and offered me a chance with our backstreet matches. That was the best. We’ve sure come a long way from there.”
Tommy nodded. “I’ve always gotten a kick out of our bond skip cases too. They made us a hell of a lot of money, and you’ve certainly done a lot of good along with it. I remember what gave me the idea too. There was this nutty guy that used to round up these two huge Samoan brothers, and back their play with a shotgun to do skip traces. They made some decent money, so I ran it by you, and your whole face lit up, you freak.”
I laughed. Yeah, I thought it was a kick. “I remember our first one: Javier Tolliver. He was about six feet, seven inches tall, and had to have weighed about four hundred pounds. No Mace, no stun-gun – just you and me, the riot gun, and the chance to make a couple hundred dollars. You were so nervous, I thought you’d kill him before we had a chance to have him surrender.”
Tommy’s hands tightened on the wheel and he wasn’t smiling. Then he hunched his shoulders comically. “At that moment, I thought it was the dumbest thing I’d ever done. When he swung on you, and that short right of yours caught him flush, I was the happiest man on earth. Good Lord, that was a beauty, John. You didn’t even blink. He moved while you were scowling at him, and then he was out cold on the floor of Rickey’s sports bar in San Leandro. Man… what a right!”
“Then you passed out business cards while I got Tolliver to sit up while I restrained him. I thought that was the coolest thing ever. One of the lawyers from Tess’s firm was in there and took your card. Funny how things play out, huh?”
“If you say so… you freak. Speaking of Lora’s younger sister, have you heard anything from Tess? She’s probably a big time partner in a law firm back East by now.”
“She’s doing real well, Lora tells me. They’re coming with my mother-in-law for a visit soon. At least it won’t be like the holidays just before I married Lora. That was awkward.”
“I remember,” Tommy replied. “Tess was still a little raw about your past relationship with her, even though she had married.”
“Her husband Cal’s a good guy. When she showed everyone the YouTube video of the fight I’d just been in the first time with the Slayer to go along with me being beat up a bit, that was a little mean.”
“Being responsible for her getting kidnapped a couple of times can do that.” Tommy sticks the memory knife in me and twists.
“Yeah, poor old Tess. She wanted to run me like a dog out of her own personal kennel, playing make believe CIA agent, and ignoring all my warnings about getting involved with me.”
“Lora managed to do all those things, marry you, and still runs you like a dog on a short leash.”
I walked right into that one. “Thanks for the update, you prick.”
Chapter Eleven: The Horrific and the Normal
“You want to come in and say hello to my handler, T?” We had arrived from LA by nine, so although it was dark, it was still relatively early.
“I’m beat, John.” Tommy waved me off. “Get out and go take your medicine on your own. Lora will probably only smack you on the nose with a rolled up newspaper a couple of times for our transgressions. I don’t want to be around to witness yet another beat-down. It’s depressing. Now, get out.”
I pointed at him as I slipped out of the GMC. “You won’t like the payback for this disrespect.”
“Bad dog… bad.”
He was still laughing when he drove away. I turned toward the house to find my usual welcoming party, Lora and her Minnie-me standing next to each other, arms folded over chests with disapproving scowls. Gee, it’s good to be home. I shouldn’t have turned off the i-thingy, but Tommy would have tortured me all the way home if I hadn’t.
“Well?”
I smiled disarmingly at both of them, an innocent look of interest on my mug. “Hi, girls. Well, what?”
“You turned your phone off, Dark Lord,” Alice informed me. “You disrespected the mistress of the Dark Lord. What have you to say for yourself?”
“How about if you two don’t get your bullying butts back in the house, I’m going to spank them for you?”
Dual gasps, and then squeals of protest, followed by ignominious retreat into the house by both, when I set my bag down to do just that. Tommy should have stuck around to see the Dark Lord in action being an alpha male. I picked up my bag and walked in. Since neither one of my female dependents could put a dint in me with anything short of a baseball bat, I was unconcerned about any ambush. I’m in a great mood, so I go on into the kitchen for a little sipping whiskey. My door greeters were sitting at the table, Lora with some wine, and Al with a soda. I retrieved my bottle of Jim Beam and a shot glass. I poured a shot, and sat down to join them. I sipped in silence with a smile while they glared at me. Al couldn’t keep a straight face, and started giggling.
“We’re getting pretty clos
e to Halloween. Have you decided what you’ll be trick or treating as?” I decide to make polite chit chat. “You could go as the Beeper’s girlfriend… ah… Selena something.”
Al growled but then shrugged rather than take the chance of launching the Dark Lord into full blown Beeper attack. “He broke up with Selena. I’ve been thinking of looking around for a costume that looks like that woman from ‘Resident Evil’.”
“That’s not bad. Should I dress as a zombie then, or stick to civilian clothes?”
Al’s eyes widened. “If you dress as a zombie, you’ll scare all the kids to death. You’d better stick with jeans and your leather coat.”
“Just so you’re not acing me out of going along, I don’t care. Should we have a Halloween party this year?”
“Only if I can stay up late with the adults. We should ask Clint and Lynn to go along on the trick or treating too. Tonto could be one of those hellhounds from ‘Resident Evil’. I’m not sure if Jafar and Samira would come.”
I’m still getting the death stare from my wife. “We’ll ask them. They might have fun doing something like that. We’ll hit the really fixed up places. I’ll see if Della and the twins want to come.”
“Yeah! That would be great. I’d have my minions along to cause trouble.”
“If you two are done Halloweening, I want to go over your trip details, John,” said Frosty the Snow Queen.
Al smiled at me. “I’ll go watch some TV. Can I stay up until ten, Mom?”
“On a school night? I don’t think so. You… oh… go ahead. I hope it doesn’t take a stick of dynamite to wake you up tomorrow,” Frosty relented, looking up at our kitchen clock.
After Al skipped out, Lora leaned in closer to where I was still sipping, only on my second helping. “Did Tommy make you turn me off?”
“Tommy can’t make me do anything. He did belittle my manhood though if I didn’t.” She laughed when I told her about what Tommy thought she’d do to me for punishment. “We did real well. I’m sure you already heard on the grapevine about our rescuing those kids.”
Hard Case: Boxed Set Books 1,2 & 3 (John Harding Books) Page 73
