I smiled. This goofy gig had all the signs of a disaster. Kev was smart enough to know it, but loyal enough to go along with it. “I’ll help. You caught me at a good moment. I’m down in LA now. Did you get Kevlar for all your goofy friends like we talked about?”
“Yeah, I… shit John… you mean it? You’re really down here? Dan’s going to get us all killed. I was just hoping for some advice.”
“It just so happens, some operations we’re involved with went real well. We’re all done, and I don’t want you and the Buffster hurt or killed. Go ahead and do whatever the hell it is you have to do. We’ll set it up for you, but don’t proceed unless you hear from me things are okay.”
“Thanks, John. I won’t forget this… ever.”
“If my plan works, this apprehension will go very smooth. It will be your job to make sure that Dan guy knows it was a setup, and you would have all probably been killed doing it for real. You did say Tavor is an ex Hell’s Angel, and not an active member, right?”
“Definitely. Tavor was banned because he got his club in trouble, and was skimming money from some of their operations. They’d kill him if he shows up on their doorstep.”
“Good. I’ll take a look at this and call you later.”
“Thanks, John. Would… would you consider being my best man?
Well damn. “That serious, huh?”
“Yep. I’m going to ask her to marry me if we live through this dumbass stunt.”
“I’m in. Once we get you through this, call and let me know where and when.”
“I hope Tommy can come too.”
I chuckled. “Believe me - Tommy wouldn’t miss it for the world. Remember not to move on this unless I give you the go ahead.”
“I won’t.”
* * *
“That’s the story.” I finished telling my crew all about the Tavor mission.
“I’ve got him, John.” Jafar looked up from his notebook computer. “I have an address for his alias in East LA. I tracked his cell-phone calls. He’s with his girlfriend.”
Clint cuffed our youngest member on the shoulder. “Damn, kid, you’re scary good.”
Jafar smiled. “I learned from the best, you and Laredo. Are you all going to do this?”
“It means a cruise on The Lora, our new pleasure craft, so I’m in,” Casey said, grinning at the death stare he got from his partner, Lucas. “Force of arms, Admiral Ahab, force of arms rules.”
“I’m in,” Lynn seconded the mission. “I want to see the Buffster in action after I tune up her projected collar.”
“I go where my son’s Mom goes,” Clint stated, which naturally led to absolutely shocked congratulations, with Denny leading the way.
“This is incredible.” Denny hugged Lynn. “What the hell did you volunteer to charge the holding area for, you goof?”
Out came the butterfly knife she calls Mr. Skinner. It whips over her wrist a few times in expert fashion before ending up in attack mode. “I’m a working Mom, Boss. Want a demo?”
Denny laughed, his hands in placating form. “No thank you. I’m just saying that if you want to take a break from the active end, you can.”
“A monster is not what I emulate, it’s what I am. Do I sometimes feel compassion? Yep. Do I want to go on extended leave? Nope. Clint knows me, and he damn sure knows how to keep me.” Lynn molded into Clint’s embrace, her eyes as she looked into his momentarily, saying everything there was to say about the subject without a word. “We know the risks. We know the danger. You and John formed something up North no one in his right mind could imagine, Denny. It’s hilarious in some aspects: monster daycare, assassins are us, drop off a toy for the Marines Toys for Tots and pick your own sanction for Christmas. Yeah, I know if Lucas hadn’t blown the head off two of the kidnapper gatekeepers I wouldn’t be standing here. Yeah, we all know if John hadn’t rushed that asshole popping up with his AK47, maybe a couple of us wouldn’t be breathing. We are what we are. There may be tragedy ahead, but I can’t think of anyone I’d rather share it with than you guys.”
Lucas walked over and hugged Lynn. He placed a Marine Corps pin in her hands. “I’ve carried this since ‘Nam. Give it to your son, and pass it down, or whatever. I’m making you a recon Marine. You’re the best at what you do, young lady – ain’t no doubt about that.”
We all saw her tear up as she hugged Lucas back after looking at the pin. “Thanks, Pappy, I’ll try to make sure you never regret giving it to me.” She wiped absently at the tears trickling down her cheeks, chuckling with a shrug. “Sorry… it’s the hormones raging. Let’s go help the Buffster.”
* * *
Les Tavor screamed in horror as Lynn cut a thin line down his naked body from neck to groin, blood welling up, as he lay bound on The Lora’s low fantail platform. Clint and I had him in a death grip. He wasn’t going anywhere. Lynn smiled and waved.
“Hi, sweetie! Guess what? We bundled you up here because we have an acting job for you. It involves a little bit of playacting you won’t like, but I’m sure once I explain the awards to you, everything will be fine. Let me introduce my team. We’re the most deadly nightmare you could ever imagine having. If you do what we tell you, then all you get is some time in jail. If you don’t, we’ll feed you to the sharks, either now, or later when you don’t do what we ask. Any questions so far?”
Tavor saw he was out to sea in the middle of what he figured was nowhere. It didn’t take much imagination to figure he was in trouble, especially since I Gronked him the moment he answered the door at his girlfriend’s apartment. We could have done it with a Taser, but we wanted him feeling that right I put upside his temple. It had swollen a little, but hopefully wouldn’t show during filming. I could hear muffled amusement behind us as the rest of our crew enjoyed entertainment where it was offered.
“Wha…what do you want?”
Lynn detailed for him what he needed to do to make us happy. He didn’t like it.
“Who the fuck are you people?! You can’t just-”
Lynn kicked him overboard off the fantail platform. It was near dusk, but enough light illuminated the waters we figured the sputtering Tavor would see why bleeding in the water offshore was a bad thing. Lynn bobbed him up to the surface on our tow line so he wouldn’t drown. Tavor begged, pleaded, and offered to do anything in order to get out of the water. Then the fins showed up as Lynn kept him bobbing against the boat.
“Oh baby! I think our bait here is attracting some attention.”
One of the sharks brushed up against him. Tavor screamed.
“Anything! I’ll do anything!”
Clint and I tugged him out of the water just in time. A shark bumped the boat’s fantail, teeth showing. We of course didn’t give a crap whether the shark got him or not. If the shark got him, there would be no video episode. If he did what he was told, then Tavor would go through the California justice system. No matter what, he’d be on our list. I hate unintended circumstances, so we would be monitoring him. I’m thinking by the look on his face I won’t have to worry about Les. He seemed ready to do anything not to touch the water again. He had already seen we didn’t mind doing anything we needed to for persuasion.
“Don’t! Don’t put me back in the water! What is it you want me to do? Tell me! I’ll do it!”
Lynn hunched down, peering into his eyes doubtfully. “I don’t know, John. What do you think?”
I played the bad guy in this one. “He’s not missing any pieces yet. How will we be sure he thinks we mean business? Let’s dangle one of his legs until Sharkey grabs something.”
Instantly, Lynn had knife in hand. “Right or left?”
“The show… the show won’t be right! Keep me whole! I’ll make your friends stars!”
“He’s right, DL,” Clint said. “We better let him do a take in person. The Buffster won’t look very appealing if she’s taking down a guy with one leg.”
“Yeah! That’s right! I’m wanted… right? I’ll make her look good!�
�
I shrugged. “Okay. Let’s head back. It will be a catch and release day today. We’ll hold onto you until it’s time for your performance. It better be so good, I’ll want to applaud at the end, or you’ll be going for a night swim.”
* * *
We all watched from our comfy stretch limo I rented for this momentous occasion. I served the champagne, even to Les. He was staying with us while the Hollywood Bounty Hunters did their low light, staged arrival with the guys jumping out impressively from their action van. Kensy Talon, better known as the Buffster, rushed to the front, dressed all in black leather. Our boy Kevin strode uneasily after her, dressed in matching black leather. With their cameraman shadowing the stealthy approach to the meeting spot, we listened to their dialogue while kicking back in comfort.
“She is so cute! Oh my God, I don’t watch TV much, but if this program makes it I will definitely tune in,” Lynn said. “You outdid yourself on this one, DL. If the Hollywood crew ever needs the pump primed for a show count me in.”
Les had been guzzling the champagne. I had refilled his glass a couple of times. He was getting paranoid again, even with the reassurances we’d given him. “Look… I get what this is. If…if I mess up a line or something, you guys won’t put me on the boat again… will you?”
Lynn turned to stare at him. He immediately switched his attention to his feet. “Look, Punky Brewster, all you have to do is go out there, and make the takedown look real. Growl a little bit. Make a few hand gestures of defiance. Let the Buffster wing it from there. From the looks of her, she couldn’t hurt a fly anyhow. Protect your nuts, give up, and let them cuff you. Don’t make me have to come out there and stop the scene, Les. If I do, the sharks will be the least of your worries. You’ve been doing real well. Now you’re starting to annoy me, and that’s a bad thing. If I get cranky, your chances of ever seeing a jail cell or another day on earth go right in the toilet.”
Les drained his champagne and nodded energetically. “Growling. I can do growling, and then go with the Buffster’s lead. No problem. I’ll throw in a couple of bad guy words, and grunt a couple of times in pain.”
Lynn smiled and patted Tavor’s cheek. “That’s better.”
“They’re almost ready, Les.” I opened the limo door for him. “Skulk along down the sidewalk and then approach them looking big and mean.”
“I got it. I won’t let you down.” Les dived out past me, took a deep breath, and jammed his hands into his pockets with a scowl in place.
“Perfect, Les. Go for it.” Man, this was entertainment.
We monsters watched the proceedings with nearly childish enthusiasm as the forces of darkness and light met up on the sidewalk in front of the Hotel Erwin. The tattooed Hollywood boys spread out in impressive form, muscles flexing, with the lead couple of Kensy and Kevin moving forward to confront the hulking form of Les Tavor. Jafar pointed our audio pickup perfectly.
“Les Tavor!” The Buffster called him out as the group confronted their target. “We’re from Hollywood Bond Enforcement. You missed your court date. Get on your knees, hands clasped behind your head. Do it now!”
I’ve got to hand it to Tavor. He looked up with a stunned expression, playing along.
“It’s a mistake. You… you have the wrong guy.”
“You’re Tavor,” the Buffster reaffirmed, as the rest of the crew moved into a semicircle around their target. “Don’t make this a hard takedown.”
“We need popcorn next time,” Lynn whispered. “Damn, John… this is so good. Les is a natural.”
“After the last minute coaching you gave him, Cruella,” Lucas pointed out. “I’d be more willing to give kudos to the director.”
Lynn laughed as Tavor retreated, his hands up in placating form, growling impressively.
“You assholes don’t know who you’re messing with! Get the hell away from me.” Tavor grunted with attitude, his hands coming up in fighting form.
The Buffster launched with a sidekick to Tavor’s midsection, bounced off, hit the sidewalk on the rebound, and cried out in pain gripping her right leg. Kevin Gronked Les with a perfect right cross that put Tavor on the sidewalk out cold. The limo erupted in laughter. We were howling. Every time we tried to focus on the scene, Kevin’s horrified mug while holding his injured Buffster sent us back into spasms of hilarity. It was incredible. Then I spotted the real life drug dealer we’d forgotten Les was meeting with.
I was out of the limo in a split second with I’m sure most of my crew right behind me. I didn’t bother with anything fancy as the guy gawked at the movie making extravaganza taking place in front of him. He came with two enforcers. I bowled into him full force, taking him to the cement with attitude. Clint, Casey, and Lucas put the enforcers down so fast their features didn’t register anything other than surprise.
I made shushing noises to them. “We’re filming here. Stay quiet.”
One of the enforcers thought he needed to illustrate his badness. “Let me the fuck go! I-”
Lynn smashed him right between the horns with her Glock handle. “Shut the fuck up during filming or I will cut your dicks off! Understand!”
They had no idea what the hell Lynn was talking about but nodded without comment. We watched across the way as Kevin held the injured Buffster in his arms. It turned out to be only a slight hurt on the fall, and they ended the scene with their perp in cuffs. When I was sure the scene was over, I came over to check on our prop bad guy, Les. He was just coming around from the snooze Kevin had administered. He focused on me with horror.
“I…I didn’t mean it! I would have-”
“Relax, Les. That was perfect. We’re square. You did really good. You do understand the rest of our deal, right?”
Les nodded. “No mention of any of you. No claims of innocence, and absolutely no sharing of this scene other than reinforcing it was real… and… I’m on your radar.”
I grinned reassuringly at him. “Yep, you have it just right. Keep it that way, and you don’t ever have to meet up with my crew again. I’m sorry the actual scene got a little violent.”
“It’s all good,” Les assured me. “I should have gone down quicker. I…I’m not experienced with this acting stuff.”
“I understand, buddy. You take care now. Straight and narrow for you, or we will find you.”
Tavor looked away. “I’m done. When I get out of jail, I’m through with my old shit!”
“Good plan. I hope you stick to it. The alternative won’t be to your liking.”
Les turned to meet my gaze. “I understand. You people are one fucking scary bunch.”
I chuckled. “You don’t know the half of it, Les. If you did, the next time I saw you, you’d be a priest or a Salvation Army member.”
Les nodded. “My act’s done. Who knows? Maybe I can be a movie bad guy.”
“See, now that’s the kind of thinking I like to hear about.”
“Hey… thanks for the champagne. It helped.”
“Straight and narrow, Les… straight and narrow.”
* * *
I checked on our drug dealer and his enforcers. Lucas, Clint, and Casey had already disarmed the three banditos. They held them in reserve in case the scene needed more on screen time. I could see Lynn over making friends with the movie crew. They had seen our takedown of the three interlopers. Jafar and Denny were together in the limo running names and faces, so the rest of us walked over to the impromptu movie set.
“This show is a hit!” Lynn was excited as the rest of us joined the group. They were making sure everything filmed okay, because they could correct small errors easily on the scene. Lynn patted Kensy’s shoulder. “You are so cute. I like your fronting the group, but you need to switch to weapons rather than physical interaction, kid. Listen more to Kevin here. He’s been around the hard knock department, and he loves you. Take my word for it. That kind of advice is what you give credence to.”
Kensy smiled with a pained expression. “Kev warned me not
to do it. He told us everything was set. I need to learn how to listen. I watched those ‘Kick-Ass’ movies too many times, and forgot real life doesn’t always emulate Hollywood.”
“That’s a start, young lady.” Lynn patted her shoulder. “Even with your slight attack problem, with Kev finishing off the bad guy, it added tension and realism. Your producer will eat this up. John told us how you and Kev met. It was a little like when I met my partner, Clint.”
Kevin perked up. He had been eyeing Lynn with the uneasiness of a guy who knew he was in the presence of a cold blooded killer. “Really?”
Lynn nodded, and sighed. “Yeah. He was assigned to find out who was slicing and dicing serial rapists. He caught me tuning up one of them.”
“Oh.” Kevin exchanged wide eyed looks at that simple declaration.
“Now, I’m having his baby, so hang in there you two. Rough beginnings may take extra work, but you two look great together, don’t they, Clint?”
“Very entertaining,” Clint spoke up from where we were keeping hold of the banditos. “I like the matching leather outfits. I agree with Lynn. This show will be a real hit if you stay within the guidelines John’s friend gives you. I love the chemistry between the two of you. Just be careful with what you try to do.”
Daniel Atkins walked over then. “We could have handled Tavor.”
Casey laughed. “You couldn’t handle a fart in the wind, partner. John kept you bunch from probably getting gunned down in the street.” Casey gestured at the drug dealer and his two goons. “These guys were packing heavy heat, and you can bet they weren’t going to lie down and put their hands behind their backs on command. We all had a good time, and it worked out, but if you’re going to continue leading, Dan, you better get a clue.”
“He’s right, Dan,” Jerry Sooner agreed. He and his other mates had been looking over the three banditos. “We would have been killed. Hell, Kev scattered us in seconds by himself. I think we really can make the big time with this show, but we have to stay alive to do it. Thanks for all your help, Mr. Harding. We should have run this by you and Mr. Dubinsky before setting it up. Thank God Kev called you when he did.”
Hard Case: Boxed Set Books 1,2 & 3 (John Harding Books) Page 82
