The moment I saw him my heart just began to melt and I felt like I was getting totally weak in the knees. I did my best to hold my composure, but every time we looked at each other, it felt like there were sparks happening, or it was just my overactive imagination. I had a tough time separating that sometimes and a time or two it had put my foot in my mouth.
I didn’t want that to happen this time, though. I needed the job desperately and I had it in the bag. I was hired. I was excited to start tomorrow. But I was nervous now since meeting Darren. I doubted he would be around much. I’d mostly just see him when he came home and I got ready to leave, but it was enough to create something that could become uncomfortable, or it could become too comfortable. That was the thing.
I’d never been involved with anyone I was employed by, but the attraction had never even been there, and the previous people I’d worked with were married. Darren was widowed. I knew that had to put some painful baggage in his life and that was something he might not even be ready to deal with yet, even though it had been over a year and a half since his wife passed away. Those wounds could often remain for several years, and sometimes they never went away.
I could see the sadness in his eyes, along with his other qualities. Was it the sadness that drew me to him? Was that it? I had a tendency to fall for guys who were wounded in some way. There was something in them that made me want to take care of them. It’s always been in my nature, I guess. And it has usually worked out badly.
I’d been single for about six months and it had been fairly easy and a happy time for me. I was enjoying not having someone in my life and not having any of the drama that went with that. It was a nice respite from that crap.
But now I felt something for someone again. I had just met Darren but there was something between us that pulled me in like some tractor beam. It was strong and intense. I wanted to hold him. I wanted to reach out to him. I really wanted him to take those strong arms and hold me closely before taking me and making hot, passionate love to me.
Darren was beautiful looking. That was the best way to describe it. He was tall, probably six feet two, with broad shoulders, great hair, a winning smile, and toned, tight body. There was also a darkness to him. There was something in the tone of voice that sounded like he was so close to barking at someone, but I couldn’t tell if that was just the way I heard him. I knew he was rich and powerful. The money meant nothing to me. I’ve never been very materialistic, but the strength he had, the raw power that just emanated from him was very attractive. It had sucked me into his world.
And now I was deeply worried that I might accidentally do or say the wrong thing without being able to help myself. I might let it slip how attracted to him I really was. And that could lead to me being fired if he thought it was a conflict of interest or inappropriate.
But did he feel the same way? Was he attracted to me? I thought he was looking at me that way, but I might have been mistaken. We always assume that the person we are interested in would be interested in us, especially if they are being friendly or it feels like we are connecting through some good conversation or friendliness. But sometimes it turns out not to be true.
I pulled into the driveway of the house I shared with my best friend and roommate Ida Stone. We’d been best friends and roommates for the past three years. Both of us had grown tired of dorm life quickly and just moved in together. She was a bit of a wild child, but she was a good friend and was highly entertaining.
When I walked into the house, she was playing video games. Ida was a video game junkie. I wasn’t sure how she got any studying done when it was all she really did. And she was actually quite good. She’d started to stream her games on Twitch and was now making some cash with a decent following. She’d even been able to quit her part time job as a telemarketer, which she despised doing.
It was a new world.
“Hey,” Ida said as I entered. I heard her blow up something on the screen and then she pressed pause on her game.
“Are you streaming?” I asked.
“No, I’m just playing right now,” she said.
“Ok,” I replied.
I sat my stuff down and grabbed a soda from the fridge. “So, how did it go?” Ida asked me.
“It went great,” I said. “I got the job.”
“Nice,” she replied. “And what’s the guy like? Did you meet the kid?”
“I did meet the kid. His name is Bobby. He is an adorable four year old. We kind of clicked pretty easily. And the father is Darren. He is very nice and seems a bit interesting. I’d say he is a classic workaholic.”
“See, I knew you would put that psychology degree to use and dissect him,” she said with a grin.
“I’m not dissecting anyone,” I replied. “And my degree is in childhood development. Not psychology.”
She rolled her eyes. “Ok, so it’s a specific faction of psychology. Big whoop.”
“It is a big deal,” I teased. “Anyway, I start tomorrow. It should be good.”
“What is it?”
I looked at her peculiarly. “What?”
“What is it that you aren’t telling me? You are being way too smooth and brief about this. What is up?”
I laughed. “Nothing is up. I just don’t have anything else to say.”
She pointed at me. “See, that right there. I know you too well. I can tell when you are full of shit. What is it that you aren’t telling me?”
I sighed. “I think I might already have a bit of a crush on Darren.”
Her eyes lit up. “Ha! I knew it. I’m too good. I should have my own talk show or something. I can just read people so damn well.”
“But this could be a bad thing, right? I can’t be lusting after my boss. That could make for something very awkward.”
She shrugged. “No, it’s fine. People lust after their bosses all the time. When the boss starts lusting back, that is when people run into trouble. You should be fit as a fiddle with this.”
I laughed. Ida was from the south and she often used expressions like ‘fit as a fiddle’.
“I’m just a bit apprehensive. I really need this job and I don’t want to start searching. This one kind of fell I my lap and I would be stupid to turn it down or to do anything that might jeopardize it.”
“True,” she said. “But, you shouldn’t be worried too much about this. As long as you don’t reach out and grab his package at some random time, or he doesn’t catch you staring at his package then you should be fine.”
“You are insane,” I said. “When would I be doing this?”
She shrugged. “How the hell should I know? I do it all the time.”
“You do not,” I said.
“I don’t grab anyone unless they give me the signal to do so, but I am a compulsive crotch watcher.”
“You need help.”
“I’m aware, but then I think I should be helping other people.”
“Yeah, you should definitely have your own talk show. What would you call it?”
She thought a moment? “Just go for it, with Ida.”
“That could work.”
“I might put that up on Twitch,” she said.
“When is your next gaming session?”
“Tomorrow. I’m tired today, so I’ll probably just do that tomorrow and have an extra-long session.”
“Ok,” I said. “I’m starving. Do we have anything to eat?”
“Um, I think there is some leftover pizza in the fridge, but I’m not sure how old it is.”
I checked the fridge and found the old pizza, decided to toss it. Then after a few minutes of searching I found nothing really palatable to stuff in my mouth. My stomach continued to rumble. It was odd how becoming infatuated with a man always brought out my appetite.
Infatuated? I was infatuated now? Was that even safe to really say? I didn’t think I was quite at that point, but I was very intrigued by Darren and I knew that I was very attracted to him. That was all I could say at this point. I
didn’t really know him. All I had was a first impression. And that was usually enough to start things off, but I hoped that there was a lot more to him I would soon learn and that it would be equally as amazing.
“Fuck it,” I said. “I’m ordering pizza.”
“Great. No mushrooms,” Ida said.
I went online and ordered. “I’m taking a quick shower. Let me know when the pizza gets here,” I said. “I paid this time, but you do tip.”
“Gotcha.”
I went into the bathroom down the hall and began removing my clothes. As I did so, I took a look at my body in the mirror. I was still holding pretty well. I knew I’ve always been considered attractive, but I did wish I was slimmer. I’m built kind of athletic and I wished it was more toward a slim build, more like a supermodel, but my body is what it is. I’ve learned to accept it long ago.
Besides, I’ve never had any complaints from men. Even though the past six months I’d been ignoring men, that didn’t mean the offers for dates had stopped. It was a bit annoying at times when I was hanging with friends or just out for a good time that I suddenly found myself in a conversation with a complete stranger who had come up to me just to hit on me and pretend to be interested in anything I was about just to get my phone number on the off chance that it would somehow eventually lead to sex.
It was a waste of my time. I wanted to be left alone.
But if Darren had come to me out of the blue, I wouldn’t have been able to help myself. No, I wouldn’t have been able to say no. There was something about his animal magnetism that just had me right in the palm of his hands. I knew he had me. Even after that brief meeting earlier, if he was there right now and wanted to kiss me, I would melt at his touch and things would lead where they would lead.
I had to get a grip on my feelings though. I had to maintain that professionalism and just pretend that those feelings didn’t exist. I definitely wasn’t going to make the first move.
But if Darren made a move, would I go with it? Would I give into my carnal desires as well and just let things go? I wasn’t sure. The way I felt right then I would have to say that yes, I would definitely give in. Fuck. I wanted him. It had been a while since I’d truly lusted after a man.
I turned on the shower and stepped inside closing the door behind me. The water felt amazing on my skin. It was hot and the steam was rising. It was almost too hot at first, but that was the way I liked it. It took a few minutes, but eventually my skin would warm up and get used to it. It had been a long day, a tense day and I had a lot of studying to do later. I would be up late as usual. And tomorrow I would be dragging ass tired all day. But hopefully working as a nanny for Bobby would put me in a better mood. I love kids. They are so energetic and full of life. It takes me back to a simpler time.
I could see that Darren loved Bobby dearly. He was a good father. And this just made him all the more attractive.
Oh, I had it bad for him, didn’t I? “Girl, you need to get a grip. This is just the beginning. You have to hold it back.”
I spoke to my reflection in the mirror as I dried myself off. Yeah. I had to learn to deal with my feelings in a healthy way. For now, I would pretend that I didn’t lust after Darren every single time I looked at him. I’d never considered myself an actress, but if I didn’t want things to get weird in this job really quickly then I was going to have to put on quite the performance.
Chapter 3
Darren
The ranch always calmed me down after a long day of work.
I pulled up to the ranch in my BMW, got out with my bag, and went into my dressing room I’d had built by the stables to change. I put on my roping gear and I was ready to go.
I’d bought the ranch about six years before as an impulse buy. My grandfather owned a farm and I used to spend every single Sunday out there. It was always a blast watching him calf rope and practice for the rodeos that he loved to enter. He had so much fun with it and the passion of laying it all on the line really spoke to me. It was man versus beast. And I loved to be the man that came out on top.
When I first hopped on the bucking bull at the age of fourteen, I knew that I had found a lifelong passion for something I would never stop. My thighs were bruised and sore for days after that first ride, but it did not deter me. I loved it. That was the thing that really spoke to me and I started doing it every single chance I got. I’d even won a few amateur rodeos and tournaments when I was in my late teens, but I was never quite good enough to go pro with it. That was a disappointment to me, and I started channeling my energies elsewhere, but I still had my bull riding. Closely behind that was calf roping and horseback riding.
When I arrived, my best friend Nathan was already out there riding Blackie, the toughest damn bull I had on the ranch. That bull bucked almost everybody completely off of them and then charged ahead to rip you to shreds with the horns.
But I had a great crew, a great staff that was there to keep me and my friends, and my paying patrons safe. The ranch was open to anyone who wanted to practice. I referred to it as a ranch, even though I did not raise livestock for market. I easily could have, but I loved the animals too much. This was really just a place where me and others like me could live out our passions for the sport of rodeo.
I watched Nathan get bucked off the bull, land on his feet, and run towards the fence escaping just over the top of it as Blackie came charging. He stood up laughing his ass off as he dusted his pants.
I went inside and quickly changed into my long shirt and jeans. I got my gloves on and then I exited the room.
“Hey, Nathan,” I said as I stepped out of the changing room. I was ready to do some riding. I’d been able to knock off work a bit early today since a few meetings had been cancelled and I decided to work through the disappointment this way. It had always been very therapeutic for me.
It was still early enough that I would be home for Bobby about dinner time.
“Hey, buddy. How’s it going?” Nathan asked as he jogged over to me.
“Good,” I replied. “Blackie is really laying it on the line today, isn’t he?”
“Yep. That bull is the most crazed bastard I’ve ever seen. I swear every single day he gets a bit crazier.”
“I guess you needed to blow off some steam today as well?”
“Yeah, a little bit. That damn new guy. I finally fired his ass. He screwed up some things on that new deal and I had to do all kinds of ass kissing to get it back on track. The damn prick. He almost cost me a ton of money.”
Nathan owned a large tech company in town. He was doing fairly well for himself. We’d been friends since college. Both of us had started our businesses out of our dorm rooms and basically didn’t sleep for a few years. It was worth it, but sometimes I wonder if we would have been happier working less and having more fun. It was time to make up for lost time now, I guess.
“Sometimes you have to cut that dead weight,” I said. “I’ve had to do that more than occasionally.”
“Yeah, and the guy tries to give me some sob story. Well, if he’d been paying attention and doing his job right then he would still have a job. This is the real world out here. It’s not some fucking classroom. I swear these kids who come straight out of college nowadays think the real world is going to coddle them the way their college professors did. It’s unreal.”
“I hear that. Did I tell you my nanny quit? Right out of the blue.”
“Ah, shit,” he said. “She’s been with you for a while. What are you going to do?”
“Well, as luck would have it, I already have the position filled again. My secretary knew someone who needed a job, an experienced nanny.”
“Great. What is she like?” he asked.
“She’s great,” I said. “And I hate to say it, but she is damn attractive.”
He got a big smile on his face. “Ah, that’s interesting.”
“Yeah. Today is her first day. I think part of the reason I came here instead of just going home after work was so I
didn’t have to spend as much time there with her. I wouldn’t want to cut her first day short or anything. And if I walk in and she’s making dinner for the kid then it’s going to take a while and I don’t want to really want to be around her too much. The interview was hard enough.”
“Wow, she must be super hot.”
“She is. And smart. She’s sweet and great with Bobby.”
“I’ve never known you to get all gushy over a woman you just met. Hell, I didn’t even know you were still in the game,” he said.
I sighed. “I’m not. I’ve been out so long that the game looks like an entirely different sport now. All the rules have changed. The dating world evolves in an instant it seems. It used to be easy. You’d meet someone and if you had chemistry that was enough, but now it seems that you have to go through this laundry list of things that you have to check off first to make sure that it is considered ok to pursue this.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, it’s very unethical for me to ask this woman out. She is my employee now. And she might get highly offended, she might quit, then I’d have to search exhaustively for someone else that’s even half as good, and then Bobby would be hurt by it and my world gets twisted around for a while, and there are feelings of shame associated with it. Who needs that.”
“Ok, then don’t ask her out,” Nathan replied. “There. That was actually pretty simple.”
I shook my head. “You are such a horse’s ass. No, it’s not that simple. I can’t stop thinking about her. I don’t mean that I was just attracted to her, but I mean I feel like I have some insane crush on her. I’m like addicted to this woman now.”
“Really? Already? Wow, I’m going to have to meet this girl now. Does she have a sister or maybe a really hot friend?”
I laughed. “I’m not sure. I didn’t get much into her personal life yesterday during the interview. But I’ll check for you.”
“Sweet. I really think you are overthinking this thing, man. You need to get her out of your head. Go do some riding, or if you decide you are really ready to date again then go out looking for someone that you can go out with.”
Falling for the Nanny Page 2
