And my parents wondered why we were always on our phones texting or engrossed in social media. There was the answer right there. Daytime television could be considered torture in my humble opinion.
He finished the set he was working through and stepped back to take a short break.
“Have you heard when they’re scheduling the World Title fight yet?” I’d been wondering about it.
“Not yet. I’m expecting to hear this week.” His brow was beaded with sweat and I could easily see his super fit body working harder to suck in oxygen. His voice didn’t give the slightest hint to the fact he’d been working hard, though.
“So, you’re going to be straight back into training?”
“I’ll look at the timing and figure out a program with Reed but, yeah, I guess that will be the case. Bloody Seth needs to get his arse out of that bed. Who am I going to grapple with? Dane’s good but…” Rather than slam his fists against the pads I offered, he chose the heavy bag suspended from the roof a few paces from us. Judging by the way the bag bounced, he’d given it one hell of a whack. I knew from first-hand experience what it took to move that bag as much as Xander had shaken it.
“Seth has the best ground game.” It was the first time I’d heard Xander express any frustration or real emotion over what had happened to Seth. Sure, he’d been upset. This was an outburst of energy and frustration.
“He does and I need him. Not just for the damned fight but back, you know? We all do.”
“I know,” I agreed quietly. Didn’t I what. I was only just starting to realise how much I needed him, how much of a solid fixture he’d become in my life. There seemed like I had a gapping hole there now.
“What the fuck happened that night, Soph?”
Wasn’t that the question and I wished to God I knew. I shrugged and shook my head.
“I really have no idea. We were at the party, we drank too much, got horny, and went home to take care of it.” I could be more open and crass when it was just the guys. Eden wouldn’t have liked it so much, but we were two very different people. Although, since she’d been with Xander, she was so much more worldly and open in her own classy way. “And that’s exactly what we did. I don’t remember it clearly but I do remember it. It’s what happened after that has me puzzled. I’ve run this in my mind a thousand times already Xan and all I can figure is that I must have fallen asleep because I don’t remember him leaving.”
“And…it’s…not…like…we…can…ask…him…” Xander drawled, punctuating every word with the landing of a punch.
“No…and there’s a good chance he won’t even remember from what the doctor said. You do realize that, right?”
“Yeah, just trying not to think or dwell on it too much.”
And there was the elephant in the room again. What would he be like when he woke up? I couldn’t even bring myself to consider the possibility that he wouldn’t come back to us.
“How’s Eden holding up, any nightmares?”
He looked over at me pointedly and I knew he was a little surprised at the question, or was I just that accurate? Sometimes, he forgot that she’d been my big sister for a lot longer than she’d been his girlfriend, then wife. Besides, we’d had quite a monumental event that shaped our relationship, one that most siblings would never experience, thankfully.
“She had one last night. Not too bad but enough to wake us both. She said she thought it was all the time she was spending at the hospital at the moment. I guess that would be a big trigger.” He wiped his face with a nearby towel.
“I think it’s just as much the actual accident. One of those unexpected, uncontrollable events that throws all the cards in the air and everyone’s worlds upside down. She’s also getting a little taste of what it was like for your parents and you and Tori to sit there and play the support crew to her. It’s one thing to be the patient but a very different thing to be the support crew. That’s probably what contributed more than anything. She mentioned the feeling of being helpless to do anything to make it better for Seth. What that really was, I’m guessing, is her putting herself in your shoes for the first time and herself on the bed in Seth’s.”
It sounded to me like Xander had a good handle on it. He understood my sister and the demons that chased her probably as well as Eden did. However, it never hurt to make doubly sure.
“Um, I don’t want to sound like I’m up in your business but I think she should make an appointment to see Grace.” Grace was Eden’s current counsellor who had been helping her with the emotional remnants of the fire from years before.
“We had the same idea and she’s going to see her tomorrow. I’m confident she’s fine, but I don’t want her to regress at all.”
“No…she’s been doing amazing.” I was so proud of my sister for how she had been progressing and moving past her scars and what happened years ago with that damned fire. Xander had very much been the catalyst for that change and our whole family owed him a huge debt of gratitude—one that he’d never acknowledge or accept. I guess that was what unconditional love was all about and I was so pleased Eden had found that with Xander. My sister deserved every bit of happiness. She was one of the best people I knew.
“She has, she’s even started cooking a little.”
“Wow. That’s a huge step.” Eden hadn’t been able to bring herself to handle hot liquids or cook anything since the fire over five years ago. The heat triggered flashbacks and anxiety attacks.
“Yeah, it’s just a few simple things and she’s being incredibly cautious with how she goes about everything, but that’s okay. It’s a step forward, though—progress, not perfect is just fine.
“Exactly. It wasn’t all that long ago she was too terrified to take that first step. I remember those days well and not with a lot of fondness.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Xander took a long swig from his water bottle and he looked like he was trying to decide if he was going to continue training or call time on this session.
“You done?”
“Yeah, let’s clean up and head back to the hospital. I know you want to.”
“Am I that transparent?” I thought I’d done well to hide the fact that, as much as I loved training, I felt torn about where my responsibilities lied today.
“Yep. It’s okay though. We’re all worried.”
I nodded. “Thanks for the workout. I needed it.”
“Me too. I’m going to draw up a training plan for that fight I was telling you about. It’s in just over four months. You up for it?”
I shuffled my weight from foot to foot. Part of me wanted to leap at the chance. It was something I really wanted to do. Another big part of me was reluctant. I wasn’t sure what the immediate future held for me.
“I’d love to, I’m just not sure of the timing…” I didn’t need to say anymore.
Xander nodded in understanding. “How about we do this…I’ll draw up the plan and we can get started. I’ll let them know you’re a strong possibility for a bout. We don’t have to commit until the opponent is confirmed. This approach sets the plan and keeps your options open. It just feels like we need to try and keep life as normal as possible.”
“Yeah...” Out of nowhere, tears broke free from eyes and my throat felt like it was closing over.
I turned away and went to rush off to the locker room. Xander was quicker. He grabbed my arm and spun me around to face him.
“Soph—what is it?”
A sob ripped free from my throat. “I’m not sure I can do it, Xander.”
He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me in tight to him. “What, honey? What can’t you do?”
I cried harder.
“Let it all out, Soph. You’ve been operating on autopilot for the last few days. Sooner or later, you had to let yourself feel.”
I nodded, knowing he was right. The tears just wouldn’t seem to stop, though. I hated crying.
A couple of minutes later, I pulled back and he passed me a towel to
wipe my face.
“I don’t know if I can sit there and support him through it. Going through all that with Eden five years ago just about killed me, too. I felt so guilty, still do. I feel that way again and the worst thing is, I don’t know what happened. I don’t know if I did something to cause him to do it. What if I did? Eden got burned getting Tori and me out. I just can’t help the feeling that Seth got hurt doing something as a result of me as well.”
Xander hugged me tightly again.
“She doesn’t see it like that, Soph. Eden doesn’t blame you.”
I took a deep stuttering breath through the tears. “I know. It doesn’t make it feel any better to me, though.”
He nodded. “And I doubt Seth will blame you for whatever happened that night.”
“You can’t know that.”
“No, but I know Seth and he’s not the type to blame someone else for stuff.”
He might not blame me but he would probably pull away and that scared me more than him blaming me.
“I don’t know that I can watch him in the hospital, Xan. I watched Eden go through it all…and”
“And what?”
“It’s so hard.”
He looked me right in the eye. When Xander did this, there was nowhere to run. “Did you give up on Eden?”
“No! Of course not.”
“Then why do you think you’ll give up on Seth?”
“You don’t know what it’s like…” I accused. “Days and days of watching them in the hospital. In pain, frustrated, closed off. Not knowing what the future holds. I’ve been there and done that.”
“You’re right. I don’t know what it’s like to hang at the hospital. But I do know what it’s like to have shit hanging over my head. That’s how I felt about the Cobra. Still do to some extent.” He was referring to the night he’d accidently killed another fighter in the cage. The guilt and whatever other baggage he was carrying from that event was enough to halt his career, almost permanently. That is, until Eden came along and shook him up enough to change how he saw things. Not only had he managed to fight off his inner demons and get back in the cage, he’d also won in superior style.
“But what if he doesn’t come out or he’s…?” I couldn’t say it.
Xander just nodded. “I know and it scares the shit out of me. We have to be positive, though. We have to believe he’ll be okay. You can do this, Soph.”
I shook my head, not so sure of his confidence. “What if I can’t?”
“What would you do? Walk away?”
The tears flooded again and I was swept up in another wave of hideous emotion that wouldn’t let me go.
“I might have to. I’m not sure I’m strong enough.”
“Bullshit! You’re one of the strongest people I know. You don’t quit in training—ever. No matter how tired you are or how frustrated, hurt, or whatever. You always get up and give it another go with everything you’ve got. That’s what has made you one of my fastest advancing and best students. You won’t quit now. It’s not part of your DNA. You’re a fighter, Soph. Seth needs you in his corner to fight with him. You’re strong enough. I have no doubt.”
I sniffed back the tears. Xander had never said anything like that to me before. How could he be so certain when I felt so unsure? I felt so far from the person he was describing, it was as if it was someone else.
Xander kept looking at me—watching, waiting for me to respond to what he’d said.
“Still don’t believe me? Then know this, you feel like you’re going to falter or fall, you come to me, or Eden, Dane, or Arianne. Together, we’ll always be strong enough to face whatever’s in store for us. But the one thing we don’t do is quit on Seth. Agreed?”
I took a deep breath, inhaling his words as much as air.
He thrust his fist out, looking for me to bump it back. A couple of seconds passed and, in that time, I realized he was right. What other option was there? My conscience would never let me falter nor would my friends or family.
I closed my fist and bumped his back.
He reached out and pulled me into a hug once again. It said more than words. I’d always had family, just now it seemed so much stronger.
Xander burst out laughing as he gently pushed me away, in a playful manner.
“What, you crazy person?”
“Shit, Soph. I thought you were going to leave me hanging there for a bit, with my fist out in the wind like that.”
“Yeah, and you’d deserve it. I’m going for a shower, you should too…you stink, Pretty Boy!”
He laughed out loud and headed for the men’s showers. “You’re not smelling so pretty yourself, Soapie.”
I shook my head in mock annoyance as I moved to the women’s locker room. Yeah, it wasn’t my favourite nickname, but my brother-in-law was one of my favourite people, somehow, that made it okay.
Somehow, he’d made it all okay just now.
Seth
Pain. Searing, aching pain. It started at my hips and it went down. My lower back was killing me. It felt like I’d been stomped on or something.
I swear my toes were even hurting. I wanted to move. Wanted to see if that would ease the pain. Why was it so hard to make my toes wriggle? Finally, my toes were moving, I could feel them move. But the pain…it wasn’t shifting?
Maybe I could roll over? Maybe that would take out the ache. Had I fallen asleep on the floor? What was going on? Where was I? My eyelids still felt so heavy, as if they were welded shut.
I tried to wriggle my hips, they felt anchored to the ground. If I could just get some leverage, I could roll over. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I roll over? All I needed to do was twist and I’d turn—that simple.
Twist. I willed my body.
Nothing.
I was getting so frustrated. I needed to make that pain stop.
My mouth was so dry and my tongue felt like it was stuck to the roof of my mouth.
Once again, I tried to wriggle my hips…again, nothing.
This was ridiculous. What was holding me down? Why was I stuck?
Right, time to get serious.
I threw my right arm across my body. It felt stiff and weird but it was moving and fast. Then, something grabbed at my inner elbow and stung like a mother fucker.
“Seth, stop! Lay still. Don’t move. You’re going to be fine, I’m here. It’s me, Sophia.” I felt her gentle but firm touch on my shoulder and arm. Then, the scent of vanilla and something else hit me. Yeah, that was the perfume she always wore.
“Nurse,” she yelled loudly from beside me.
Nurse? What was she talking about?
My eyelids finally decided to start co-operating. It was bright and white. Where was I? Everything was blurry and surrounded in light.
“What’s happened?” Somebody was asking and more hands were moving my arm back.
“He lashed out with his arm and ripped his cannula out,” Sophia was explaining to someone. She must have moved a little and, suddenly, my vision was starting to clear. I could see her. I’d know that long blonde hair anywhere and the square cut of those shoulders.
“Can you move around the other side? I need to fix the cannula.”
“Sure.”
“Turn around babe and tell me what’s going on.” That’s what I was trying to say. It didn’t come out that way.
“He’s trying to talk. What did you say, Seth?” Her voice was so full of light and excitement. What was going on?
Then, there were hands at my elbow.
“You’re in the hospital, Seth. You had an accident a few days ago.” What? What was she talking about? Accident?
“Squeeze my hand if you understand—squeeze my hand.” I forced my foggy brain to focus. Then, I realized she held my left hand and I willed my fingers to close.
“That’s it. Well done. He’s squeezing my hand.” She was laughing that musical sound…the one I loved.
“I’m just going to fix the cannula in your arm, Seth. I need you
to stay still. Do you understand me?” It wasn’t Sophia but another woman who was starting to come clearer.
“Yeah.” I managed to croak.
“Oh, my God, you spoke, Seth.”
I blinked a few more times, finally my eyelids were working better and, with that, my vision began to clear. It was definitely a hospital and Sophia had an anxious look on her face. Those pale blue eyes and the few stray freckles across her nose. I wanted to stare at them.
“Are you in pain?”
Pain…fuck yeah, it hadn’t gone. I was trying to ignore it and that wasn’t working out so good.
“Mmmhmm,” I managed to groan out.
“How bad?”
“Bad.” My throat felt like I’d swallowed razor blades. “Waaata.”
“You want a drink?”
I tried to nod my head to avoid disturbing the razor blades and I winced. It hurt worse than my throat when I moved it. Why did I feel so crap?
“Try not to move, Seth. Can he have some water, Michelle?”
“I’ll get some in a second, when I finish up here. I’m going to run some pain meds for you as well. It will probably make you sleepy again.” I felt another pinch at my elbow and tried to move just my eyes to see what was going on.
Tubes. Lots of tubes coming out of my arm.
“There—all done. I’ll get that water.”
“I can’t believe you’ve finally woken up. I was so worried about you. We all were. We’ve been here beside you since it happened. Do you know what happened?”
What happened? I had no idea what she was talking about.
Warmth was spreading all down my arm and running up into my shoulder and head…it felt weird. Hot and prickly.
“You were in a car accident. You flipped your SUV over that bend on Taylors Road, the one with all the trees below. Do you understand what I’m saying? Don’t talk. Squeeze my hand.”
I willed my fingers to close again.
Challenge: A Contemporary MMA Romance: Oni Fighters Book 3 Page 7
