“Not like I have much of a choice.” I grumbled. I’d had enough of this shit for the moment. “Look, I’m really tired. I’d like to take a nap.”
“Sleep at the moment is one of the best medicines. I’ll be back later to check on you. I’ll have the arrangements made to move you to another ward.”
“Great.” Maybe I’d get away from Nurse Nancy.
“We’ll do that bed bath when you’ve had a nap.”
“Can’t wait.”
The doctor and nurse left and, if I wasn’t mistaken, Nancy threw me a wry smile.
I laid there pissed at the world and not able to do a damned thing about it.
“Are you mad at me?” Sophia finally asked.
“I’m pissed at everything, so I guess that includes you. Why the hell does Florence Nightingale think we’re engaged—seriously?”
Sophia looked around as if to see if anyone was paying attention or somehow listening in.
“You don’t have a next of kin listed. It would have been your mum. Xander didn’t think you’d be happy with that so we decided it was best if I assumed that role, based on, well, you know.”
They were right about one thing. I could barely tolerate my mother. Our relationship was frayed at best. No way did I want her making medical or any other decisions for me. She gave up that right a long time ago when she sided with my prick of a stepfather.
“Actually, no, I don’t know what you’re referring to.”
Sophia looked exasperated. “I had to tell them, Seth. They needed to know what had been going on between us. Xander had kind of guessed anyway. I don’t see what the big secret is anyway.”
The big deal was I didn’t want to be tied down. My old man couldn’t hack it and opted out when I was nothing but a little tacker. Then mum had married that nobhead and my life had gone from bad to worse.
I had no intentions of heading down that path. Relationships were nothing but a slippery slope. I was more than content with hot sex and hanging out. Which is what we’d been doing, hadn’t we? Although, I had a horrible feeling there was no hot sex in my immediate future. How could I even be thinking about sex when I was so laid up? Habit, probably.
“Why don’t you take that nap? Maybe you’ll feel a bit better when you wake up.”
I tried to nod and my head only hurt more.
“I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Wonderful—what did a guy have to do to get some time to himself? Did people not get that I just wanted to be left the fuck alone.
9
Sophia
“Are you really going to ask that question everyday?” I demanded of him as Dr Wilkinson left the room.
“Why wouldn’t I ask it? It’s the only way I’m going to get out of here in a hurry.”
“Oh, you’re so damned right. In case you were unsure, all the staff here either hate you or are terrified of you. I get the fact that you’re unhappy and in pain but must you be such a dick to them? But getting back to the question, you don’t think they’ll give you a heads up when it’s time to think about getting out of here? For God’s sake, it’s not even been a couple of weeks yet. You were unconscious for the best part of the first week. They’ve already told you you’ll be here at least three to four weeks. So just stop agonizing over it, would you!”
Seth was the worst patient ever! It was like having a caged and wounded lion beside me. Add a thorn in his paw and you got the picture. All he did was snarl and lap at his wounds.
“Well, it seems like I’ve been here for fucking months.”
I took a deep breath and schooled myself to be patient when really I wanted to rip his head off. Where was my easy going, joking, hottie?
Oh, the hottie part was still there, albeit he was a little battered around the edges. His disposition was another thing entirely. He was a total grump and I wasn’t enjoying a second of it. His piss poor disposition aside, it didn’t make me any less concerned or determined to help him.
“Well, at least be pleased that you no longer have the catheter. Surely, that’s something?” The doctors had taken that out a couple of days ago and, so far, everything was going okay for him.
“It still feels like I’m pissing razor blades,” he grumbled.
“And that would have nothing to do with the fact you had bladder surgery? Be thankful you can damned well feel that you’re pissing,” I hissed at him. We were in a private room but it would take nothing to tick me off to the point I was yelling at him. “I’m taking a walk down to the cafeteria. I need some chocolate. If my butt and thighs get fat, it’s on you!” I jabbed a finger in his direction before leaping out of the chair beside his bed.
He was sick of this place and didn’t want to be here—I got that.
Join the fucking club mate!
I spent every spare waking moment here and I didn’t begrudge him for doing it at all. It would just make life easier if he was more himself and not so difficult to get on with.
I headed to the lift and, when I got in a second later, who should be already in there but Dr. Wilkinson.
“Everything okay, Sophia, you look a little upset?”
I scrubbed my hand down my face. “Seth’s not in a great mood today. It makes things a little difficult.” I didn’t want to be telling tales out of school. “He’s just really struggling to accept the fact he’s injured, it seems.”
The doctor looked at me thoughtfully. “What’s he normally like? I generally like patients to have a few days to settle but he seems a little difficult.”
When I didn’t immediately answer, he went on. “Is he normally cantankerous like this?”
“No, the opposite, actually. He’s a really easy going and joking sort of guy. In fact, he goes out of his way to keep things light and easy. You know, life of the party, everyone’s friend.”
“I get it. He strikes me as a really physical sort of guy. This sort of injury can really shake that personality type. You think they’d be a tower of strength but they take it to heart,” he offered.
“It’s just little things. I get that he’s in pain. I don’t get why he won’t take more pain meds to be more comfortable?”
“I’ve certainly prescribed them if he needs or wants them. I think what we’re seeing is a few TBI symptoms. Moodiness, aggravation, etcetera. Hopefully, it will improve over the next few weeks.”
“That would be good. This TBI, should I be concerned…?”
“At the moment, it’s a time thing and him relaxing enough to recover and get his strength back. TBI’s affect everyone differently. There is a possibility he may never be quite the person you knew before the accident. When people sustain blows to the head like he has, plus add the period of time he was in a coma, it would be unreasonable to think that didn’t have some sort of impact on him. Just because he has all his faculties about him doesn’t necessarily mean he’s back to normal, or without on-going symptoms. The question is how much of the behaviour is due to a TBI and the rest just other insecurities or issues about the accident playing out.”
It was a lot to take in. I’d thought he was out of the woods when he’d woken up. Could he really have lingering issues?
The elevator doors opened and Dr. Wilkinson motioned for me to proceed him out.
“I’ve got rounds to complete but if you’d like to have a chat further about it, I’d be happy to make the time. In the meanwhile, maybe see if you can have a chat with him and get him to talk about things.”
I thought about that briefly. “Okay. I’ll see what I can do.”
The doctor nodded and walked off. I headed to the cafeteria and bought not one but four chocolate bars—my sweet tooth was even more out of control than normal. Good thing I was putting in a solid two or three hours training every day. I needed it—not only to keep the blubber off my thighs and arse but also because I loved training and this was something normal for me to do in amongst the craziness. I decided to take a quick lap around the block while I ate the first chocolate bar. At least
the lap would help balance the calories.
Next week would be the problem. I had to go back to work and I had no idea how I was going to manage everything. I knew inherently that John was going to be a prick at work. Over the last year, I’d socked away every spare cent, so my savings were reasonably healthy, that was money towards my own agency though. Mmm, it was a little more reassuring to know I had it behind me though, if I needed it.
Half an hour later and I was back in Seth’s room.
“Would you like a chocolate bar?” I fully expected him to be a shit and refuse it.
“Sounds good. What type have you got?”
I was surprised, to say the least. “How about a Mars bar?”
“Yep. That will work.”
I passed him the bar from my jacket pocket and sat down cautiously. That was the most pleasant I’d heard Seth since he woke up, now I was wary.
He unwrapped it and bit into the bar. “Mmm.” He groaned in pleasure. “Sure beats hospital food.”
“Wouldn’t be hard. I can bring you stuff from home if you like. I’m going to need to really tidy up my diet in the very near future if I’m going to take the fight.” It was the first real time I’d mentioned it. I’d been training early in the morning and then generally again mid-afternoon when the hospital “encouraged” patients to settle for a nap.
“That what Xan has been training with you for?” Ahh, he had noticed just not said anything about it. “I was wondering if you were going to bring it up—talk to me about it.”
What the hell? It felt like whiplash. This was more the Seth I knew.
“Yeah, it is and I haven’t mentioned it not because I didn’t want you to know, rather there’s just been so much going on with you.” I was still choosing my words carefully. He was very much an unknown quantity at the moment.
His eyes bore into mine and I knew then he had something on his mind.
“I’m sorry I’ve been so…well, um, difficult.” His eyes dropped momentarily before claiming mine again.
Oh, my God!
I was in the twilight zone.
I couldn’t recall Seth ever apologizing and certainly not sincerely like this.
“I know I’ve been snapping and snarling at you and everyone else. I’m not happy about it. I just can’t seem to stop it.”
“It’s okay. I understand.” I didn’t dare say I’d just run into Dr. Wilkinson and we’d been talking about the very state of his disposition. “You’ve got to be a little kinder to yourself. It’s going to take time. Not only did you smash up your pelvis really badly but you also took a very heavy hit to the head. That’s going to take time to settle and heal. Of course you’re going to feel weird and moody.”
He nodded slightly. “I’m just not used to feeling so helpless...” I watched his throat move up and down as he struggled with something. I’d never seen Seth so emotional about anything. “What if I don’t get back to normal?”
I could see the fear in his eyes and my stomach dropped right along with his. “You can’t think like that, Seth. Not once have they said you won’t get back to normal. Just that things are going to take time. Bones take time to heal.”
Then, he let out a frustrated sigh and I braced. “I get that. I really do. I’m just shit at doing nothing and waiting. Laying on my back is killing me.”
My mind raced. What could I suggest? How could I help him? He’d been stuck watching the over-head television and the selection of programs was terrible.
“The physio said you can start to move around a little more in a couple of days, and probably take a few steps. Maybe I can bring in your laptop or something? He also said you could start to try sitting up a little for a few minutes at a time. Your core’s so strong, that will help.”
“And they cut two holes in it.” There was venom in his voice again.
I had to put a stop to this quick. “And they’ll heal really quickly. You’ve still got all your upper abs and back muscle. Seth, you’ve been a professional or semi-professional athlete all your adult life. You’re going to heal quicker than the average Joe.”
“I know…”
“You’re just used to being so active and taking movement and everything for granted.”
“Yeah,” he said quietly. His face was still stormy with emotion.
“Something else you want to talk about?” I took his hand and gave it a little squeeze. He closed his fingers around mine and raised our joined hands towards his face, where he brushed his lips across the back of my hand. It was the first intimate, affectionate type of gesture we’d had since he’d come out of the coma. Sure, I’d kissed him on the check or even briefly on the lips but he hadn’t initiated anything.
This was different.
The situation we had been thrown into was way outside of our normal. This was very much secure couples territory.
“It’s okay, Sophia, you don’t have to do this anymore. I totally get it if you want to bail on me.” His voice sounded forced and his eyes were downcast.
“What are you talking about?”
“Us, you don’t have to keep up the pretense. It was never supposed to be serious. We were friends with benefits. I doubt I’m going to be any good for providing you with benefits in the foreseeable future. Yeah, we agreed that we were exclusive a while back but I can’t expect that of you now.” Finally, his eyes met mine and they were glassy. “I’m letting you go.”
My heart was breaking for him and us, all the while being furious that he could even think this.
“So, do I get a say in this or do you just say it’s over and that’s that?” There was a steely sarcastic edge in my voice, although, I did manage to keep the volume under control.
“But I’m not going to be able to fuck you for a while.” I saw red. Normally, I had no issue when Seth suggested we fuck or referred to it as that. It was sexy and a little dirty. It was the way he normally said it, with lust in his eyes, that made me all kinds of hot and wet.
Not today.
Today, his reference made what we had seem shallow and inconsequential—cheap. That was not what we were about now, regardless how we may have started out.
I took a deep breath and held it for a second before exhaling slowly to stop myself from railing on him. “You really think I only spend time with you and are with you because of the sex? Yes, it is off the charts hot and all that, but I enjoy just hanging out with you, being around you just as much if not more.”
His mouth dropped open for a second before he started on again. “It was only ever casual, Sophia, it’s run it’s course. Time to move on.”
I gave him a hard glare. “I know what you’re doing, Seth, and I’m not going to cop it. I’m not going to let you bust us up. You can make as many claims as you want that this was casual between us and, yes, it may have started that way, but that’s not where it is now, nor was it before the accident. We were together, still are. We were friends and we trained together before we were more. We’ve been serious from the start, we were both just kidding ourselves it was anything else. The only difference is I’ve realized it and you’re still living in denial.”
“I’m not in denial; it’s done.” He snarled.
“No, it’s not. You’re not going to push me away because you’re hurt and laid up for a bit. Tell me this, were you thinking of calling time on this before the accident?”
His jaw tightened and he bit out a “No.”
At least he was honest.
“Neither was I. So why now, what’s changed except you’ve had an accident and you can’t stand for me or anyone else to see you when you’re at your weakest.” I saw my words smack into him almost as if I’d used my fists. “News flash, Seth, real friends and partners don’t desert their friends or significant others when the going gets tough. I’m not going anywhere.”
I was just starting to work up a real head of steam and I needed to get out of here.
Xander had said he’d meet me soon for training anyway. Right now, I needed to g
o do that before this got out of hand and I said stuff that couldn’t be taken back.
My feet hit the floor with a slap and I stood and grabbed my bag. I moved so I was in his line of vision and made sure I had his eyes.
“While you’re thinking on that, you might as well think on something else. I love you, Seth Harris. It might not have been where we started out or meant to go but that’s where it’s at for me. And as far as I’m concerned, the accident doesn’t matter squat. Would you desert me if the positions were reversed? You know you wouldn’t, so don’t expect me to. And as for the sex, well, that’s what they invented vibrators for. Good thing I didn’t get rid of BOB when I got you. Besides, having sex again will give you something to aim for! Everyone needs a goal, something to challenge them. That’s yours.”
I squared my shoulders and stuck my chin in the air and strode from the room. When I got to the door, I turned briefly and threw over my shoulder a “I’ll be back later.”
It pleased me immensely to see the stunned look on his face. Maybe, just maybe, my surprise confession would give him something to think on other than the fact he was stuck in a bed. Here’s hoping.
Xander had better be on his game. I was more than ready to rumble.
Seth
I slammed my fist into the firm mattress with enough force that it jolted my whole body. Pain radiated from my pelvis as if to mock me for my frustrations and stupidity.
Yeah, that damned break and everything else that was wrong with me.
She loved me!
Jesus Christ, what was I going to do with that? She wasn’t supposed to love me. It was supposed to be light, fun, casual. Love—that wasn’t part of the deal at all.
It was just sex and some fun times, we both knew the score—agreed even. Why did she have to go to the “L” word?
And why couldn’t I remember what had happened that night?
It was gone…nothing, and that terrified me. I didn’t drink and drive. Was I still drunk? Had something else happened? The not knowing was driving me to distraction.
Challenge: A Contemporary MMA Romance: Oni Fighters Book 3 Page 10
