Charlie seemed to consider that, then nodded as if in acceptance of my answer.
We were now walking along the raised wooden boardwalk that faced the marina. Restaurants lined the back edge and outdoor tables were nearly all full with locals and holidaymakers enjoying the weekend sunshine.
‘Would you rather sit inside?’ Charlie asked, having apparently already assessed that I wasn’t the type for sitting in the sun.
‘Do you mind?’
‘Not at all. It’s pretty busy out here anyway. It might be a bit less manic in there.’
We headed inside the restaurant and found that Charlie was right. Most of the clientele had chosen to sit outside in the heat rather than enjoy the cool of the air conditioning whilst they ate. The waiter showed us to a table and we gave ourselves a few moments to settle in before I took up the conversation again.
‘Amy had a bit of a messy break-up some time ago. She was reluctant to see anybody for a long time because she was worried about rebounding. She had to say yes to Marcus when the time was right.’
‘And what if he’d stopped asking by then? Given up?’ Charlie asked, his eyes serious. From anyone else, I’d have taken this to be a bit of a smart-arse comment. But not here. My time spent with him this morning had quickly shown me that. This was just Charlie Richmond’s logical mind wanting to see how things worked.
‘Then I guess it would have shown that he wasn’t as nuts about her as you thought, and that it wasn’t meant to be.’
He fiddled with the menu, considering my words. ‘You really believe in all that fate and “meant to be” stuff?’
‘I’m guessing that you don’t?’
Charlie let out a sigh. ‘I’m not really sure that I can. I think that’s the logical side of my brain kicking in – why I like numbers and why I’m good at my job. Fate doesn’t play a part in it. It’s all about probabilities. It can all be worked out in black and white.’
‘But life isn’t black and white. Even you must admit that?’
‘I do. And maybe that’s why I want as much as possible of it to be logical because sometimes there’s something that comes out of nowhere, that throws you for a loop. For someone like me, who needs…’ he paused and rephrased ‘… who likes to find reason behind things, something like that just completely fries my brain. It’s almost impossible to process.’
I got the feeling that Charlie had a specific situation in mind. His eyes had taken on a sadness. I knew that it was too early to start questioning him as to what it was – that was to say, I knew it, I just couldn’t help it.
‘Something specifically threw you for a loop.’ It was a statement rather than a question.
Charlie pulled his gaze from the menu.
‘I’m sorry. I have no control sometimes. Feel free to tell me to shut up.’
His lips quirked.
‘That’s OK. I know exactly where I stand with you. I like that.’
I smiled, feeling the same way.
His eyes scanned the menu again. I guessed he wasn’t actually going to answer me but was, not surprisingly, too polite to tell me to keep my beak out.
‘In my second year of university, my best mate there collapsed and died on the running track. Fit as anything, he was. And then, out like a light.’
He hadn’t looked up.
‘Oh, Charlie, I’m so sorry.’ My hand automatically moved to touch his. Again, with the touchy-feely boundary issues. Oh, well. But he didn’t move it. He just looked up and let out a sigh.
‘Something called HCM. Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. Funny what you remember, isn’t it? Apparently, it generally affects younger people and most of the time, unless it’s something flagged in your family history, you don’t know you have it until something happens.’
I didn’t know what to say.
He reached for the glass of water the waiter had put down moments after we’d arrived and took a sip.
‘Were you with him?’
He nodded. ‘Right beside him. And I couldn’t do anything. I’ve never felt so utterly useless in my entire life.’
‘It sounds like there’s nothing that anyone could have done.’
Charlie shook his head, then looked at me under his lashes. ‘Do you always do this?’
My eyes widened. ‘What?’
‘Put people at their ease so they spill out their deepest, darkest secrets?’
I got the feeling Charlie Richmond wasn’t used to opening up too often, and I didn’t want to ruin the meal or, let’s face it, lose my newly acquired accountant. Time to lighten the mood.
‘The lifestyle blog thing is just a cover. Truth is, I’m actually a kick-ass secret agent. Being interested in people is my weapon of choice. Everything else makes far too much mess.’
The blue eyes sparkled with amusement.
‘I’m sorry if I overstepped. I sort of have a habit of doing that.’
He waved away my apology before taking another sip of water. ‘It just seemed such a waste. As I said, I like to try and reason things out. But this? There was no reason for it. It was just completely out of nowhere.’ Sadness clouded the blue.
‘It was an utter waste. I’m so sorry about your friend.’
He flicked his gaze to me and gave an almost imperceptible nod of acceptance.
I continued. ‘It would be so nice if life worked like that. That there really was a reason for everything. Unfortunately, it doesn’t, and there isn’t. It’s just bloody messy a lot of the time. I think all we can ever do is muddle through the best way we know how – whether that’s by your way of finding as much black and white, linear movement as possible or my more… wishy-washy method.’
His face creased into a smile as he brought his gaze back from the middle distance it had been resting in. ‘Wishy-washy?’
Looking back at him, I was relieved to see the sadness dissipated. ‘It’s as good a description as any,’ I said, laughing, as the waiter approached the table.
‘It is,’ Charlie agreed.
We ordered our drinks and set about scanning the menu for lunch.
‘What shall I have?’ I pondered aloud, my gaze drifting from one yummy-sounding choice to another on the oversized menu I now held in front of me.
‘Do you want bread and olives, or something else to get started on?’
‘Hmm?’ I said, peeking over the top of the card.
‘I just wondered if you wanted some bread and olives to be getting on with? Whilst we wait for the rest?’ He paused. ‘Or do you not like them?’
‘I love them! I just have a habit of filling up on them before my main course arrives.’
‘I can ration you.’
Once again, I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. I decided to roll with it anyway.
‘OK. Deal.’
I caught the tiniest of twinkles in his eyes at my response.
The waiter appeared at our table once again a short while later.
‘Are you ready to order?’ he asked. ‘Or do you need a little more time?’
Unlike Charlie, I’d noticed that this particular waiter’s gaze had rarely left us since we’d come in – or, more specifically, had barely left my lunch companion. I was pretty sure he’d be happy for this gorgeous man to sit there all day.
Charlie looked at me for an answer and I nodded. We gave our choices and the waiter scribbled them down before taking the menus with a flourish. He threw Charlie an extra-wide smile as he handed his over. Charlie smiled back at him in thanks, the further connotations of the waiter’s attention apparently lost on him. A few minutes later the man was back with our drinks. He threw Charlie another couple of flirty looks, which again seemed to go unnoticed, then told us that our bread would be over in just a moment.
‘I think you have an admirer,’ I said, when the waiter was out of earshot.
‘Hmm?’ Charlie’s brow creased in question as he lifted his beer.
It suddenly occurred to me that I had no idea as to whether Charlie was straight or gay. Either way, on
e gender was going to be sorely disappointed.
‘The waiter. He’s… extremely enamoured with you.’
Charlie raised one eyebrow at me as he took another sip.
‘I just wanted to say, if you want to… you know… follow up on that, please don’t stand on ceremony on my behalf. I mean, go for it.’
Charlie’s eyes bulged as he began choking on his drink. Turning redder as he tried to stifle the coughing, he buried his face in a napkin and endeavoured to do it quietly.
‘Are you all right?’ I asked, even though he clearly wasn’t.
He didn’t answer.
‘Shall I pat you on the back or something? Would that help?’ I made to push my chair back and stand but Charlie’s waved hand kept me where I was.
‘I’m fine,’ he croaked out, sounding anything but. ‘Just went down the wrong way.’
He took another sip and it seemed to help. His face, thankfully, began returning to a more normal colour.
‘Better?’ I asked, concern in my voice.
He smiled at me. ‘Much. Thanks.’
The waiter appeared and placed our starter nibbles down, along with a couple of fresh napkins. Apparently, he’d also witnessed Charlie’s mishap.
‘Thanks.’ Charlie nodded at him.
‘You’re very welcome.’
I bent my head further as I took a breadstick and dunked it in the garlic dip we’d ordered. From my peripheral vision, I saw the waiter leave and head back to the bar. I risked a look up, my gaze quickly meeting Charlie’s amused one.
‘OK. I’ll give you that one. But – and I don’t know what you’ve heard – just so that you’re clear – not that it matters on any level but purely because trying to be politely quiet whilst choking is a complete pain in the arse – I’m not gay. So, thanks for the offer of being a wingman – or woman – but it’s not necessary in this case.’
‘Oh. Right. Thought I’d ask. You know. Just in case,’ I said, selecting another breadstick whilst deftly managing to avoid looking at my companion. Truth be told, I suddenly felt like a bit of an idiot.
‘And please don’t think I don’t appreciate the thought.’ I could hear the smile in his voice.
I risked a look. Yep. I knew it. There was a bloody great grin on his face.
I gave a small eye-roll. ‘You see. This is why I work behind a screen. There’s far less danger of me saying or doing something on the spur of the moment that, in that instant, seems helpful but soon after just makes me feel like a complete fool.’
‘I can see how that might work better for you.’
I tilted my head a little and gave a resigned look.
Charlie laughed. ‘Don’t worry about it.’
‘But I do!’ I said. ‘I always do this! I’m a nightmare!’
‘Rubbish,’ Charlie stated. ‘You’re natural. And – even when misguided – very thoughtful. It’s refreshing.’
‘It is?’
‘It is,’ he said, before taking a breadstick and chomping happily through it.
‘So, is that true, then? What you said about why you started the blog? So you could hide behind a screen.’
‘I wouldn’t exactly call it hiding. Especially not with the videos I do.’
‘No. Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.’ He gave me one of those honest looks. ‘You know what I mean.’
‘I do. And to answer your question, no, not really. Although it’s certainly a benefit. I’d had the blog for a few years but it was an intermittent thing. I was quite bad about posting regularly but it didn’t bother me because it wasn’t really something I was doing to get followers, especially. It was just something I was doing for me. Sort of a way of keeping a record of stuff that I’d read about, things I found interesting and products I’d discovered and really liked. I started getting a few comments and that was nice. They often asked if I could post more often and suggested some things that they’d like to see on the blog. I took notes, and said I’d see what I could do, but I had a full-time job, a boyfriend and a fairly busy social life connected to all that. I couldn’t really see where I would find the time to fit in a more dedicated attitude to blogging.’
‘Obviously something changed.’
‘Yes. You could say that. I was Executive Assistant to a director of a tech company based here. It had done phenomenally well, and with the attention about the whole Silicon Beach thing, it just soared.’
Charlie nodded at the reference to the nickname Brighton had acquired in the last few years as more and more tech companies had begun basing themselves in the seaside town.
‘Everything was going great. The company was doing well. I loved my job and I was good at it. And I know what you’re thinking!’ I said, holding my hand up. ‘What with my faltering ability to engage my brain fully before my mouth goes into action, how could I possibly do a job like that?’
‘Never crossed my mind.’
‘You big fibber!’
He grinned and gave a little shrug.
‘I knew it. Anyway,’ I continued, ‘again, most of it was online contact and, I don’t know. It just seems to be more of a social affliction.’
‘Affliction is a strong word.’
‘You nearly choked to death earlier, thanks to me. I think it deserves a strong word.’
He gave a little head-shake and I continued.
‘So, things were going well. Then an American company started showing some interest. My boss went over there a few times and had some discussions with them and it turned out they wanted to buy the whole thing. He wasn’t prepared to give it all up so he got them to write in a proviso that he be part of the package, retaining an executive position in the new company.’
‘That all sounds good. For him, at least.’
‘It was great for him. Turns out, not so great for me.’
‘If he was still an executive, surely he still needed an assistant?’
‘And he got one. In America. Where the company was going to be based following the buy-out.’
‘You couldn’t go with it? Or you didn’t want to?’
‘Neither, really. I don’t think I would have wanted to, if I’m totally honest. My friends are here. My brother and nephews are here. But when it came down to it, it wasn’t exactly given as an option.’
‘That’s vague.’
‘I’m trying to retain some degree of dignity.’ I laughed.
Charlie frowned, that confused smile back on his face. I seemed to bring that out in him. A lot.
‘My boss didn’t want me to go with him.’
‘But I thought you said you were good at your job?’
I opened my mouth to say something.
‘And don’t take that the wrong way – I meant that any boss of sense ordinarily does whatever they can to keep good staff. It’s not like they’re always that easy to find. Believe me, I know.’
‘This was a little more complicated.’
‘Oh.’ Charlie sat back. ‘I didn’t mean to pry.’
‘No. It’s fine. And seriously?’ I laughed. ‘That’d be rich of me to object to you asking questions, wouldn’t it? Anyway, as it’s turned out, he did me a favour. Although I have to admit I didn’t feel that generous towards him at the time.’
Charlie didn’t say anything, clearly letting me decide as to whether I wanted to share any more.
‘I was dating my boss. We’d been seeing each other for a couple of years and it seemed to be going well, like everything else. But when he went over to America for those trips, something changed. Long story short, he met someone over there. His new Executive Assistant.’
Charlie winced.
‘Yes. It was a bit.’ I finished the last of my drink. ‘I’d love to say I had a dignified reaction to the whole situation.’
‘I take it you didn’t?’
‘Not exactly. Let’s just say I perpetuated the belief that redheads have a temper, culminating in a situation which may or may not have involved me stapling his tie to the desk.’
5
My eyebrows shot up and a bubble of laughter burst out of me. Accountants often had a reputation for being dry and boring but today was enlightening me to the fact that Charlie Richmond definitely wasn’t boring, and the only thing dry about him was his wit.
‘That’s true. Although he was wearing the tie at the time of stapleage.’
He smiled. ‘Stapleage? Is that a word?’
I shrugged.
‘Still. It’s been for the best and he was probably right in what he said – I wouldn’t have been the right fit for the company there.’
‘He said that?’ Charlie’s brow furrowed. ‘Because of the relationship?’
I shook my head. ‘No. Well, maybe a little but there was more to it.’
He said nothing, waiting for me to continue.
‘Oh, Charlie! You’ve been in my company for a few hours now. I’m not exactly high-flying corporate material. I’m too… friendly!’ I laughed. ‘I think he was a bit worried that I might show him up with his new colleagues and friends.’
‘Then it doesn’t really sound like he deserved you in the first place. In any capacity.’
My smile broke through and I sat straighter. ‘You know, I came to the same conclusion.’
‘Good. It sounds like you had quite a last day at that particular office.’
I let out a sigh at the understatement. ‘Still. It turned out for the best. I found some local bar work and decided to use the redundancy money to take a little break from working full time. With that, and my suddenly unexpectedly free social diary, I was able to concentrate on finishing the writing course I’d been doing and even started getting some magazine articles accepted, now that I had the time to devote to submissions. I thought doing a bit more on the blog would be good practice too, as well as it being a bit of a showcase for my writing. And the more I did it, the more I enjoyed it and the more hits I got. One post got picked up on a blog round-up and that really helped boost things. Advertisers started approaching me, which helped my income and as the blog continued to grow I started getting attention from brands, interested in possible sponsorship and collaborations.
No Filter Page 4
