No Filter

by Maxine Morrey

  He was sitting on a Penguin Paperback deckchair, reading the business section of a newspaper. The rest of it was strewn in various directions around the bottom of the chair.

  ‘Bad, is it?’

  ‘It’s not the chirpiest I’ve ever felt, I have to say.’

  ‘I know how to fix that. Come on.’ He got up and walked past me back into the kitchen. ‘Here,’ he said, pointing to a glass of orange juice on the counter. Next to it stood two small tablets. ‘Take those and drink that for a start, then we can get some breakfast sorted.’

  ‘I’m not sure I’m up for breakfast, Charlie, thanks all the same.’

  ‘Yes, you are. It’ll do you good. Soak up the alcohol. Believe me, I know from personal experience.’

  ‘I’ve never seen you drunk. I can’t even imagine it.’

  ‘You’ve only known me a short while. Give it time. And why can’t you imagine it?’

  I finished the juice and walked to the sink to rinse the glass. ‘I don’t know. You just don’t seem the type.’

  ‘The type?’

  I lurched for one of the bar stools that stood in a military line against the large central island. ‘Oh, I don’t know, Charlie. It just seems like you wouldn’t like losing that studied control you have about you.’

  He pulled a face. ‘You think I’m a control freak?’

  I shook my head. That was to say, I rolled it from side to side as I’d now laid it on my folded arms on the worktop. ‘No,’ I said, my voice muffled. ‘You’re just… Charlie.’

  ‘I see. That, of course, makes it a lot clearer.’

  I pulled my head up from the counter and squinted at him.

  ‘It’s a good thing, though.’

  ‘Uh huh.’ He gave a little head-shake. ‘Come on. You need some food inside you.’

  ‘I’ll throw up.’

  ‘No, you won’t. You’ll actually feel a lot better. It’s been scientifically proven.’

  I tilted my head back and looked up at him. For some reason it seemed even further to meet his eyes today. ‘Is that true?’

  ‘Absolutely. You can look it up.’

  ‘I will.’ There was every chance that Charlie was right, but frankly, with his quiet, studied demeanour, even when he was being funny, he could have convinced me of pretty much anything.

  ‘Good. And then you can ring me and tell me how right I was.’

  ‘Unlikely.’

  ‘You’re clearly sobering up. Let’s go.’

  I slid off the stool. ‘Oh, I think I owe you for some pillowcases. Half of my make-up is now splurged all over the cover of one. I put it in the laundry basket in the bathroom.’

  ‘No worries. I’ll mention it to the housekeeping lady when she comes.’

  ‘You have a housekeeper?’

  ‘Well, not a personal one, no. But a very nice lady comes in and takes care of all that stuff.’

  I pulled a face.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Nothing. I was wondering how you kept this place so nice.’

  ‘Hey, I have skills, you know. I just don’t have the time.’

  I burst out laughing as the image of a six-foot-five Charlie in a frilly apron and feather duster popped into my head.

  ‘And why is that funny?’

  ‘No, no, it’s not. I just sort of got this image of you in my mind…’

  Charlie looked at me. ‘I don’t really want to know what that image is, do I?’

  I shook my head, then quickly stopped in order to halt the feeling that my brain was rolling around in my skull like a pinball. ‘No. Probably not.’

  Charlie rolled his eyes at me, but I could see laughter in them. ‘Come on. Time for your walk of shame.’

  I spun round. ‘Charlie!’

  He turned me bodily back around. ‘It’s OK. I made you that sign you wanted. We’ll pick it up on the way through.’

  ‘Oh, ha ha.’

  He shuffled me to the door, slinging his camera bag over his shoulder on the way as we stepped out into warm sunshine. I rummaged about in my bag for some sunglasses whilst he locked up. Slipping them on, I breathed an audible sigh of relief.

  ‘Morning, Charlie.’ A sultry, breathy voice drifted across on the warm breeze. We both turned in the direction it had come from. Greeting us was a sight that could only be described as a ‘bombshell’. She had curves I could only dream of, and the fifties-style sundress clinging to them did a fabulous job of enhancing everything she had going on beneath it. In contrast to the shiny platinum hair that stroked her bare shoulders, her lips were full and pillarbox red. Keeping them half parted, she focused dark eyes on Charlie. She was utterly entrancing.

  ‘Morning, Elaine.’ Charlie nodded. ‘How are you?’

  I risked a glance at him from behind my sunglasses. The vision in front of us had brought out his cute little half-smile and that faint blush he was sometimes prone to.

  ‘Fine, thank you, Charlie.’

  The way she said ‘Charlie’ was incredible. There was a whole invitation wrapped up in just his name.

  ‘It’s getting warm already, isn’t it?’ She wafted the glossy magazine she held and ran her eyes over his face. The colour remained there.

  He smiled a little more. ‘Yes, it is. Going to be another hot one.’

  ‘Maybe we could get together for a trip to the beach later. Take a dip in the sea and… cool off.’ She smiled. Frankly, if Charlie didn’t burst into flames there and then I wouldn’t have been at all surprised if I did.

  ‘Oh, that sounds lovely,’ he said, ‘but we’re actually off out today, along the coast.’ He squeezed me against him, his arm around my waist.

  We are?

  Charlie’s neighbour gave a smile as she turned herself a little more, bodily excluding me from the conversation. I was glad of the sunglasses, as I was currently looking far less presentable than I generally managed. Wasn’t that always the way? On days you felt good, you wouldn’t see anyone. But get a day when you felt like death on the back burner, you could almost guarantee you’d run into someone you knew. And it was even more likely to be someone you would much rather have run into when you were looking your absolute best. Like an old boyfriend, an ex-schoolmate who was always snotty to you, or a smoking-hot neighbour of your smoking-hot male friend. I mean, it wasn’t as if Charlie and I were dating, so there wasn’t that aspect, but still…

  ‘I didn’t know you were heading out last night. You should have called on me. We could have had some fun. Although it looks like you might have had some without me.’ She leant in and whispered the last bit as though I weren’t there. Her eyes half closing as she smiled and pouted at Charlie, all in the same movement. Quite the achievement. And then my brain caught up and my mouth dropped open as I realised she’d just referenced my walk of shame! I knew it! This was exactly what I meant! Well, not exactly. I hadn’t expected to be confronted with it quite so directly.

  ‘Last-minute thing. You know.’

  Wait! What? Charlie, no!

  As I made to move Charlie almost imperceptibly tightened his hand on my waist, keeping me pinned there. Fine. But he better have a hell of an explanation for making me out to be someone he just picked up by chance last night.

  ‘Another time.’

  Charlie nodded.

  ‘Bye, Charlie.’

  ‘’Bye, Elaine. Have a good day.’

  She turned back and let her gaze drape over him from head to toe. ‘Thanks,’ she breathed.

  Charlie kept his hand at my waist and began moving us down the path towards the street, heading over to where his car was parked. A resident’s parking tag showed in the windscreen.

  ‘Wow.’

  ‘Yes. She is a bit.’

  ‘Even you must be able to see that this one wants to get you into bed.’

  He gave me a look and opened the passenger door for me. ‘Yes. Thank you for that.’

  ‘So, I guess you don’t feel the same way?’ I asked, when he got in.

  ‘No.’r />
  ‘She’s stunning.’ I paused, thinking of how she’d signalled with that incredible body that I, most definitely, wasn’t part of the conversation. ‘If a little rude.’

  ‘Part of my objection,’ he said as the engine awoke with a burble and Charlie manoeuvred the sleek car out of the parking space and pulled up to the junction with the main road.

  ‘I don’t think hooking up with her would be anything to do with manners, Charlie.’ I laughed.

  He turned his head to the right, looking for a gap in the traffic that was now building as people trekked to the seaside to take advantage of a Sunday with great weather. After a couple of minutes he pulled out, the throaty engine sucking in the warm air of the morning and growling in pleasure.

  ‘You know I’m not really the hook-up type, Libs.’

  ‘Really?’

  He glanced across at me. The clear gaze was hidden behind a pair of D&G sunglasses but I could still see his frown. ‘You must have worked that out.’

  ‘Well, you just made me do the walk of shame and rubbed it in her face. So apparently you do hook up sometimes.’

  He gave that little chuckle and another glance, this time accompanied by a smile, ‘Yeah, sorry about that. I panicked. And you were just… there.’

  ‘Much to her displeasure.’

  ‘She’ll get over it.’

  ‘Not until she gets over you. Or under you. Probably both.’

  He gave a little head-shake.

  I grinned. ‘Bloody hell, Charlie. You saw her, right? Most blokes would be tripping over themselves to get that sort of attention.’

  ‘She’s not my type.’

  ‘Does it matter? I don’t think she’s looking for a long-term thing here.’

  ‘Of course it matters. And she might not be, but I am.’

  ‘Oh.’ I pondered on that for a bit. ‘So, you wouldn’t have a one-night stand?’

  A small sigh escaped his lips. ‘It’s a good job I know you’re just nosy. You ought to be careful though. Some people might think you’re offering.’ He slid a glance to me momentarily, before switching his eyes back to the road.

  ‘Yes, but you know I’m not.’

  Charlie gave a nod as we rolled to a stop at a red light. ‘I take it you’re feeling a little better.’

  I held up my hand and made a side to side tilting motion, indicating that things could easily go either way.

  ‘It’s just that most people aren’t all that talkative when they’re hungover.’ The light changed and he pulled away. He didn’t rev or floor it, but the burbling engine and throaty exhaust still caused a few pedestrians to glance round and cast their eyes over the sleek machine. ‘You appear to be the exception.’

  ‘Are you thinking back to a time when your Sunday mornings were peaceful and easy?’ I said, picking up on his comment yesterday about his Saturday afternoons.

  He smiled, his eyes fixed on the road.

  ‘Yes.’

  I tilted my head at him. ‘And?’

  ‘And they were quieter,’ he said.

  I made a mock-offended huff noise and looked out of the window.

  ‘Quieter. But much more dull.’

  I didn’t turn my head but my smile got wider.

  ‘Where are we going?’ I asked as Charlie took the turn for the marina. ‘I thought we were going for this magical hangover breakfast cure. I sincerely hope you’re not expecting me to cook it for you in this state.’

  Charlie laughed. ‘No. I most certainly wasn’t. I just thought you might like to change clothes. Then we can go and find some food.’

  ‘Ahh. You can be really sweet when you want to be, can’t you?’

  Charlie looked across at me as we waited at the next set of lights. Below us to the left, the marina stretched out, and beyond it the sea. Sharp darts of sunlight flashed on the masts and the sea beckoned, blue and inviting.

  ‘When I want to be?’

  ‘Figure of speech. You’re actually always sweet.’

  ‘Great. We’re back to sweet again.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Nothing.’

  ‘It was a compliment.’

  ‘OK. But don’t say it too loud.’

  ‘Why not? Women love that sort of thing.’

  ‘It makes a bloke sound soppy.’ He glanced up at the lights, waiting for them to change.

  ‘No, it doesn’t.’

  ‘OK. Take two blokes, one’s all muscled up and hard core, but a bit of an arse. The other one isn’t so ripped but is, oh, so sweet. Which do you think the woman would go for?’

  I took a deep breath. ‘That completely depends on the woman. It’s not a fair question.’

  Charlie laughed, and the sound of it made me smile. ‘That’s a cop-out answer, Libs, and you know it. We both know that 99 per cent of the time they’ll go for the bad boy. Sweet is not usually that big a draw.’

  ‘All right. Yes, some women like a bad boy, but not forever. Not for the special stuff.’

  ‘I see,’ he said, the lights having finally gone green, ‘so they have their fun with the bad boy, and then when they’re done with that bit, and ready to settle down, they head for the sweet, but rather dull, guy.’

  ‘You’re not dull!’

  ‘I was speaking hypothetically, but thanks for that.’

  ‘Oh. Whoops. But you’re not, just to clarify anyway. And besides, none of this applies to you anyway.’

  ‘Here we go, it’s time for Libby’s Logic. I love this part of the day.’

  I flicked him on the arm and his smile grew.

  ‘It doesn’t apply to you because you’re the best of both worlds. You’ve got the looks of the first and the personality of the second.’

  ‘Dull.’

  ‘No, not dull! Sweet!’ I said, flapping my arms around as if that would help get my point across. I turned in my seat as we pulled into the visitors’ parking area for my block of apartments. Charlie’s face looked serious. He lifted a hand to remove his sunglasses.

  ‘Charlie, seriously, you mustn’t think—’ I looked up as I launched into a pep talk. His eyes showed all the laughter his serious mouth had hidden. ‘Oh, you little…’ I flung open the door and began to get out. Charlie was out and around the car in seconds, holding out a hand in assistance.

  ‘Thank you,’ I said, taking it. Dealing with direct sunshine and manoeuvring out of the low-slung car was taking more effort than expected. Safely extricated, we made our way up to my flat and I let us in.

  ‘You don’t need to stay if you have something to do,’ I said. ‘Thanks for the lift and for doing that stuff yesterday, and I really am sorry about the mix-up with the files.’

  ‘Not a problem. You’re welcome. As for the other thing, don’t give it another thought.’

  I gave him a look. ‘I won’t if you won’t.’

  He shrugged. ‘I hate to make promises I can’t be guaranteed to keep.’

  ‘Perv,’ I said, lobbing a cushion at him.

  ‘Hey, I wasn’t the one posing for Sports Illustrated on the beach.’

  ‘It wasn’t posing! It was falling! And I take what I said back – you’re not sweet at all!’

  ‘Glad to hear it. Now go and change or whatever you’re going to do. I’m starving.’

  ‘Well, go and get something to eat, then. I might just flop here.’

  ‘Oh, no. I need to prove to you this magic cure. Plus, I can’t go home now. I told Elaine that we were going out along the coast all day. If she sees me at home, she’ll think we’ve broken up.’

  I gave him an incredulous look. ‘Broken up? We’re not even going out!’

  ‘She doesn’t know that.’

  ‘I don’t think I’m that much of a deterrent to her, to be honest, Charlie.’

  ‘Nonsense.’

  ‘You have no idea.’

  ‘I know more than you think. But I understand your point. It wouldn’t matter to her if I was going out with the hottest model of the moment. However, she knows it would matt
er to me. Therefore, all the time she thinks I’m with someone, she’s less likely to actually try and do something about it.’

  ‘What was this morning, then? I was standing right there and it didn’t seem to bother her.’

  Charlie shook his head. ‘This morning was tame.’

  ‘Bloody hell, Charlie. Maybe you should just go for it and let her get you out of her system.’

  ‘I’d rather not, if it’s all the same to you.’

  ‘Because you’re looking for something more?’

  ‘I suppose so.’

  I raised an eyebrow.

  He took a deep breath before letting it out on a sigh. ‘Are you ever going to go and change?’

  ‘Yes, yes, all right. But this conversation isn’t over.’

  ‘Of that, I have not the slightest doubt,’ he mumbled before a cushion caught him square on the ear.

  12

  I’d showered at Charlie’s so ten minutes later, I was ready to go. Having changed my clothes and redone my make-up properly, I still felt pretty rotten, but at least I felt a little bit more like me.

  ‘Better?’ Charlie asked, looking up from his phone as I came back into the living room.

  ‘Much.’

  ‘Good. Ready, then?’

  ‘Yes. I’m actually starting to feel a little hungry now.’

  ‘Then I know just the place. Don’t forget your hat.’ Charlie threw my big straw sunhat at me like a frisbee.

  ‘Thanks.’ I grabbed my bag, slung it over my shoulder and followed Charlie back to the car.

  An hour later we were sitting at a cliff-top café, looking out over the Channel, both full to the brim with English breakfast and two large mugs of tea each. Annoyingly, Charlie had been right. I did feel better for eating. Although I was keeping that snippet of information to myself.

  ‘Are you going to admit it?’

  ‘What’s that?’ I said, turning from the view.

  ‘You do feel better, don’t you?’

  Argh!

  I shrugged, keeping my eyes on the view. ‘No noticeable difference at the moment. But it was probably a good thing to get some food inside me.’

  ‘Pretty sure that was a big fat porker.’

  I pulled another face but couldn’t help smiling.