by Jayne Blue
“Uh, Sarge. It was Sarge.” And then Fitzie winked at me.
“Oh, I see.”
Maddox could turn me on and off but also felt like he had the right to babysit me. He was trying to drive me crazy, I swear.
“So, can I ask you a couple of questions Fitzie?”
“Sure.”
Fitzie was young, skinny, and it appeared at the beck and call of the motorcycle gang that Sarge and Maddox belonged to.
“You’re a Dark Saint, like Sarge and Maddox?”
“I’m a probie, on probation, provisional. I’m hoping to be a Saint.”
“Why does Maddox need you to bring stuff over? Doesn’t he hang out at your club? Don’t you have meetings?”
“Well, we do. But he’s been avoiding the club since Olivia. Sarge and him argue about it. I’ve heard them.”
“What do they argue about?”
“Sarge says the club can help find who did this to Olivia. Sarge says the club helps you get through the tough times. Maddox ignores him. He used to be different.”
Fitzie was a good source of information. I’d have to file that away.
“Maddox?”
“Yeah, he was always ready to help a brother. Now he stays away. He hardly even talks.”
“And they don’t know who shot her?”
“Well, Maddox – all of us – know it was a Devil’s Hawk, but we can’t prove it yet.”
“A what?”
“A Hawk. We’re enemies with them. Big time.”
Fitzie sounded as young as he looked right then. Saints, Hawks, provisional members, vendetta? This sounded like something out of a movie, not something out of real life.
But I had seen Maddox’s room. I’d also seen him on his bike. He did look dangerous and out for blood. I wondered about The Devil’s Hawks, what were they like. Were they the same as The Dark Saints? I’d never seen them around Port Az.
“Why would The Hawks shoot Olivia?”
“Oh, they were probably going for Maddox. But you’d have to ask him that. I don’t know all the things, I’m not allowed in Church yet.”
“Church?”
“Dark Saint’s meetings, that’s Church.”
“Oh, okay.”
The history of Maddox and Sarge was something I wanted to know more about. I wondered about the guilt they must have connected to Olivia’s shooting.
I had done some searching on the internet. She had been shot in broad daylight outside a coffee shop. Maddox was there but couldn’t identify the shooter. I wondered if there was any more to know.
“I’m going to check on Olivia a little, if that’s okay. Unless you need anything else. I’m supposed to get whatever you need,” Fitzie informed me.
“I don’t need a thing. Thanks for the ride.”
Once we got back to The Castle, Fitzie disappeared toward Olivia’s room.
I checked in on Sarge and all was quiet.
I wondered about Maddox. Was he still in the house? I cringed at the thought of our last encounter.
I had learned my lesson though. No more throwing myself at him.
I felt something powerful for him. I couldn’t deny that. But it had nothing to do with Ted. Maddox thought I was some sort of joke, I suppose.
It didn’t matter. I had done something tough today. I had taken the reigns of my own life. Whether Maddox was in it or not, I knew breaking my engagement was the right call.
I had fooled myself into believing what my mother wanted was what I wanted.
That was over.
I could focus on doing a good job here. And I would resist the urge to march up to Maddox’s room and finish what we’d started, twice.
A path of independence was healthier, I supposed, than the one I’d been on with Ted.
I thought about nursing again. The satisfaction I’d gotten helping Sarge made me wonder about going back to school, crossing the finishing line.
It was something I needed to think about. No more rash decisions for this girl.
It was late. The house was so big.
I heard Fitzie leave. I decided to check on Olivia too.
Only the monitors that measured her vital signs lit the room at night. The night nurse nodded. Maybe I’d ask her one of these days about nursing. She was more approachable than that bitch day nurse.
I looked at Olivia, the braid I’d put in her hair was gone.
“Did you do her hair?” I asked the night nurse.
“No,” she said and I looked down at Olivia again. I couldn’t imagine Sarge or Maddox doing anything with Olivia’s hair. But it had been changed.
I sat down and opened the binder again. It wasn’t a diary, but it did make me feel closer to Olivia. I had a little insight into her personality, her plans. It really was a little pinboard of the things in which Olivia was interested. She even had things in there to do for her Dad. There was a recipe that had ‘For Sarge’ written on the top. I pulled it out. If Olivia was going to make it for Sarge, maybe I could.
I slowly scanned the pages. There was that weird note again.
I’d forgotten about it in the craziness of the day.
It worried me a little. I thought Maddox, or someone, should know about it.
I could tell Sarge but then I thought about how my Dad would react to something like that. A note from someone who seemed, well, disturbed. He’d be overly worried when it was probably nothing.
I stroked Olivia’s cheek and decided telling Maddox was the best course of action on this.
I knew I wasn’t supposed to head up to the third floor but that was, in my estimation, ridiculous. I walked upstairs to find Samuel Maddox Junior, resident beast of the castle.
“Maddox?”
There was no answer. I second-guessed myself. If he wasn’t home, I shouldn’t be up here. I’d show him the note tomorrow, or whenever I saw him. He could decide if it meant anything.
I turned and to walk out.
“Do you not understand English?”
He growled the words. Maddox had been sitting in a giant chair in the shadows. He had a bottle of something on the floor.
Great. Drunk and pissed at me. Wonderful combo.
“I understand English, I just wanted to—”
He interrupted me.
“ – Mind fuck me again? No. I don’t think so.”
His words stung. Why did I even try with this man?
“Look, I’m out of here,” I said. I wasn’t scared. I was pissed. There was no reason for him to be an asshole. I was trying to help. I’d had it up to my eyebrows with asshole men.
“Where are you going?”
“It’s none of your business.”
I tried to match his roar but failed miserably. So, I slammed the door behind me and took the stairs down two at a time.
I had to get out of the house. It was huge, but its air felt stifling all of a sudden. The dust that I hadn’t gotten to was everywhere. It was choking me.
I walked out into the night air. I hadn’t made my way to the beach on the backside of the house yet. That sounded like the right place. Fresh salt air to mix with the salty tears that Maddox was able to bring forth with a look. I wasn’t crying over Ted and we just broke up. Whereas, Maddox, yes, in a hot second.
Why was I surprised that he was so mean? Why did I think I could have a normal conversation with him?
The beach along the back of the house was why a lot of people knew about The Castle. If you were in the bay, you could just see it. From the bay it looked dark, seemingly empty, and old.
I put my shoes in my hand and sank my toes into the sand. I had a lot of thinking to do. Could I stay here? Probably not. Maddox was too much for me. I didn’t understand my emotions where he was concerned, and he clearly wanted me out. I wanted to help Sarge, but I wasn’t going to fight Maddox to stay in this place every single minute I was here.
It was beautiful out on the beach. I’d seen a picture of the family on the beach in Sarge’s room. Back when they were whole,
back when Olivia was healthy. In the picture, Maddox was even smiling. I’d spied a picture of Kade and a few of the other bikers who’d adopted dogs having a day out here.
It wasn’t that long ago but the carefree pictures seemed a lifetime away from the way Maddox and his Dad were living in this place right now.
A few lights from down the beach caught my eye.
I recognized them as motorcycle lights. Three bikes were getting closer and closer.
What the heck? For a second I thought it must be Maddox’s friends, The Dark Saints. Maybe it was Kade? But I knew it wasn’t. I could sense that what was barreling toward me didn’t intend anything good.
I turned to run back to the house. But it was too late; they cut me off. Their patches had Hawks on them. Devil’s Hawks, like Fitzie was telling me about earlier.
They circled me on their bikes.
“Hey!” I yelled. What were they after? Whatever it was had nothing to do with me. I was just in their way, I guessed. Maybe anyone in Maddox’s sphere got in their way?
They were all mean looking. Every single Saint I’d laid eyes on had their own handsomeness or at least rugged magnetism. I thought it must be a club requirement.
With these three bikers though, that was not the case. They laughed as they slowly circled me, and the light in their eyes was somehow malevolent. They were playing with me like I was trapped kitten. This was a game to them. I needed to find a way back to the house.
I looked for a gap.
“Let me through.”
“Not likely. !e thought we’d fuck up Maddox’s shit. Instead we can fuck up his girl?”
“I’m not his girl. I work here.”
“Right, what kind of work is that?”
They cut the engines on their bikes. I was in trouble. They had some issue with Maddox and I was in the middle of it.
“I told you. I work here. That’s it.”
At least off their bikes I could try my little sprint move again. I bolted between two of them, but it was no use.
“Jonesy, you get her first.”
Get her first? What?
The one they called Jonesy was just as fast as I was. He grabbed me and threw me down on the beach.
I screamed.
And then, just as fast, he went flying into the air. Maddox had arrived.
“Get the fuck off her.”
Maddox’s fists were flying. It was the first time I’d seen him without his leather. He was wearing a white t-shirt that strained across his chest. His hands were balled into fists and they landed in quick succession on Jonesy.
The other two tried to stop Maddox but it was no use. He was going to beat this man until there was nothing more left.
“No. Maddox. Stop!” I yelled. I didn’t want to watch him murder someone on my account.
He kept going. The other two bikers had decided it was better to get the hell out of here.
A gunshot rang out into the sky, putting a stop to Maddox’s assault.
“Get the fuck out of here, Hawk! I see you again, I put a bullet in you.”
It was Sarge. Somehow, he’d walked from the house to the beach.
“Let him up, Maddox,” Sarge said and Maddox reluctantly did as he was told.
Jonesy scrambled to his bike.
Maddox’s fists were bloody and Sarge looked like he’d used every ounce of strength he had to come down on the beach and chase away The Hawks. He’d left his oxygen tank in his room.
It must have taken a huge amount of energy for Sarge to go down the stairs and then fire that shotgun. I was worried.
“Maddox, we need to get him back upstairs.”
I walked up and put my body under one of Sarge’s arms. Maddox did the same on the other side.
“Let’s take these steps slowly,” I said, and we did. Small, slow steps to the house were all Sarge could handle. My concern shifted so fast from the escaping bikers to helping one, I was surprised I wasn’t dizzy.
15
Maddox
I opened the door. Between Tracy and I we got Sarge back into his room. I found his oxygen mask and she helped him put it on.
I watched Tracy handle Sarge. She’d only been here a few days, but she was at ease with Sarge. She knew just what he needed.
“There, that’s good.”
She took his blood pressure and checked his pulse. She nodded to me and then went off to get a glass of water for him.
“What were you thinking, old man?” I said.
“Damn Hawks on our property. What’s that about?” Sarge said. His voice was weak.
“I’m pretty sure it was one whose ass I kicked earlier this week.”
“On your own?” Sarge asked me. I knew what he was getting at and I didn’t want to hear it.
“Yeah, on my own.”
“You need the club, son. They can help.”
“They haven’t been able to so far.”
It was an old argument between us. Sarge thought the brothers could solve everything. I used to.
“You too should both calm down.”
It was Tracy. She had a first aid kit and pointed to Sarge’s chair.
“What?”
“Maddox, sit.”
She was a foot shorter than I was, but she was acting like I would follow her orders without question.
“I’m fine.”
“Really? You’re going to get your knuckle-dragging self in that chair, so I can clean those cuts.”
I heard Sarge laugh then it turned into a cough.
“And you. Ugh. Sarge, that was too much.”
“You needed me,” Sarge said and gave her a wink.
“I can see where your son gets his bullheadedness.”
I sat down, and Tracy perched herself on the footstool. She got out some alcohol. It stung.
When I’d heard the roar of the bikes and then her yell I’d got outside as fast as I could. For a minute, white flashes had filled my field of vision when I saw her on the ground.
“Controlling his temper was never one of Maddox’s skills,” Sarge said from his bed.
“I can see that.”
I watched Tracy. Her dark hair fell forward. Her hands held mine and she worked intently, dabbing the cuts I’d opened when my fists hit Jonesy in the face.
“You’re one to talk.”
“Anything I should know about what just happened?” Tracy asked me as she put a bandage on each knuckle. Bandages I knew I’d rip off when she wasn’t looking.
“Bad blood with The Hawks. They shot Olivia.”
“Which we can’t prove,” Sarge said.
I wanted to argue that point with him, but I couldn’t. He was right.
“You need to rest,” Tracy said. She stood up from the stool. I tried not to stare at her, but I was failing. I was failing at everything when it came to this woman. I’d hoped to chase her away today but instead she was here, in my house, on the third floor, in our lives. And damn it, because of it, she was in danger.
She pulled up Sarge’s covers. He had already dozed off. This was more excitement than he could take. I knew that.
Tracy gathered up the first aid box.
“You need to leave him be.”
She was ordering me around again. I stood up and followed her out and into the kitchen.
“Are you okay?” I didn’t see a sign of anything wrong on the outside, but the other night she’d been shaken up. Shocked. I wondered what she was hiding now.
“I didn’t think you gave a damn.”
I noticed she was covered in sand, now that I had a chance to really look at her. The pretty yellow dress she wore was not made for rolling around in sand and fending off Hawks, and it was ripped. I felt like dogshit for that tool.
“When I saw you out there...” I didn’t finish. I couldn’t.
I took a step forward toward her. She was quiet, and for a moment our eyes met.
“Close your eyes.”
I lifted my hand and brushed some of the sand away from her
cheek. I was surprised she let me. Her skin was so soft. I was closer than I should be to her.
She opened her eyes and looked into mine again.
“I called off my wedding tonight.”
I had a feeling of relief. She wasn’t engaged. She was free. I could have her as mine. But that feeling was very quickly replaced with dread.
One, I had treated her like shit, on purpose, and two, I didn’t want to care for her like I knew I did.
“He wasn’t right for you anyway.”
“You didn’t even know him.”
“I know.”
“How?”
“Because you’re mine.”
She sucked in a breath of air and I lowered my head to hers. Our lips hovered close, a millimeter apart. I could see her breasts straining against the fabric of her dress. No woman had ever responded this way to me.
No woman made me lose control, ever. But I had none around Tracy.
I cupped her head in my hands and she tilted her head to meet mine. I had to bend down low to be face-to-face with her. I felt her strain upward to split the difference.
The kiss started softly. We’d been so explosive, so fast, in those first two kisses. This time I wanted to savor her lips.
She made a sweet sound again, a sigh. There was something about that the sound that touched me to my bones. I craved it. I chased it.
The kiss moved slowly, and her body swayed with its rhythm.
“I don’t want us to stop this time. I can’t stop anymore. You’re free right now? That better be the truth. Because if you say you aren’t free of him, I’ll call your fucking fiancé myself and tell him you’re not coming back.”
I felt a fierce possessiveness that I knew was dangerous, but it was there. I wanted her in my arms and nowhere else. I wanted her in my bed.
“I broke it off. Not because of you. I just…”
I stopped her words with my lips again. Whatever else she wanted to say, she could say. But later.
“Please, Maddox, I’m burning up for you.”
I wrapped my arms around her and lifted her off the floor. I loved containing her whole body. Sheltering it. Feeling it on me.
I carried her to her rooms and kicked the door closed behind us. There was no one in this part of the house to see or hear us. For the first time, I appreciated how empty things were.
