by Amy Boyles
Y'all Witches
Bless Your Witch Book Ten
Amy Boyles
Contents
1. ONE
2. TWO
3. THREE
4. FOUR
5. FIVE
6. SIX
7. SEVEN
8. EIGHT
9. NINE
10. TEN
11. ELEVEN
12. TWELVE
13. THIRTEEN
14. FOURTEEN
15. FIFTEEN
16. SIXTEEN
17. SEVENTEEN
18. EIGHTEEN
19. NINETEEN
20. TWENTY
21. TWENTY-ONE
22. TWENTY-TWO
23. TWENTY-THREE
24. TWENTY-FOUR
Epilogue
Thank Y’all
Also by Amy Boyles
About the Author
ONE
The airship rocked to the right. I clutched the bolted-down desk, my gut twisting. I swiped a strand of dark hair from my eyes. “Ugh. When is this storm going to be over?”
Roman rubbed my back. “We should be through it soon. Can you hold on?”
Nausea racked my stomach. I bit back the urge to heave. “I don’t know.”
He raked his fingers up the back of his hair. His short hair that he’d chopped a few days ago, right before our wedding.
Wedding.
Yes, Roman and I had finally gotten married. After he’d been accused of murder and absolved of the crime, we got hitched before all our family and our magical friends at Castle Witch.
We were on day one of our honeymoon, riding a magical airship to a destination called Celestial Island.
And I was seasick—or airsick, I guess I could say.
“I’ll run down and get you some crackers and Sprite,” Roman said.
“I don’t know. Do you think that’ll work? My grandmother always gave me some sort of fizzy tablets.”
Roman frowned briefly and then smiled. “I’ll see what I can stir up.”
I had a feeling that me questioning his expertise had caused a little ping of annoyance in him. “Whatever you think,” I said quickly. “If you think Sprite and crackers will do the trick, I’m sure that’ll be just fine.”
He kissed me quickly on the forehead. “I’ll be right back. I’ll put the trash can beside you in case you need it.”
I moaned as another wave of nausea hit. “Thanks,” I croaked.
I sank onto the bed and closed my eyes, praying to all that was good in the world that the sickness would pass quickly.
I placed a hand over my eyes and breathed in and out, in and out. I could probably cure myself by magical means, but I’d never done that and wasn’t sure if it would work.
By now you’ve figured out that I’m a witch. In fact, my whole family is—two grandmothers and two sisters.
Of course, they weren’t here with me on my honeymoon.
Thank goodness.
If truth be told, I needed a break from them, a big wide break.
I curled into a ball, lying as still as possible. The sickness was subsiding, and before another wave hit me, a rap came from the door.
I pushed myself up slowly and staggered over, my stomach practically in my mouth as I opened the door.
A man with straggly black hair, a long nose and a wide net stood in the doorway. His beady eyes shifted from side to side.
His appearance speared me in place. There was something about the nose, the dancing eyes that sent a cold shiver thrumming in my heart.
“Yes?” I said.
His voice lilted. The words rolled off his tongue as he half sung them. “Looking for stowaways. Do you have any stowaways in here?”
I shook my head. “No. I don’t have any.”
The man poked his nose through the door and inhaled deeply. “I’m Simon Sniff. Official stowaway finder. I caught a whiff of one earlier, followed it to this deck.”
I frowned. “Really? There aren’t any stowaways here.”
The airship lurched. I grabbed my stomach as a surge of sickness washed over me. “Excuse me.” I ran to the wastebasket, readying myself to be sick, but nothing happened.
Sniff tapped his nose. “Keep your eyes peeled for a stowaway. There’s one here. Somewhere. I can smell it.”
He closed the door behind him, and I heard Sniff whistle as he moved on to the next cabin.
“Whew,” came a voice from the corner. “I never thought he’d leave.”
I froze. That voice. I knew that voice. Knew it in my sleep, my waking hours, even in the darkest and lightest of my dreams.
And I didn’t need to be hearing it on my honeymoon.
I glanced behind me. Standing in my cabin, nautical glasses over her eyes, a leather cap on her head and wearing a long leather duster and a scarf around her neck, stood my Grandma Hazel.
The words ground out slowly. “What. Are. You. Doing. Here.”
Grandma plucked the glasses to the top of her head. “I’m here to protect you, Dylan. Make sure everything goes well with your honeymoon. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I’ll be here. If you have any questions about what happens on your wedding night, I’m also here. I’m all around here to help in any way that I can.”
She clasped her hands together. “Besides, I’ve never been to Celestial Island. Always wanted to go. And now I have my chance.” She clapped my shoulder. “We’ll have such a wonderful time together.”
I shook my head. “No, we won’t. You need to go. Now. You’re the stupid stowaway that Sniff guy was talking about.” I threw up my hands. “Why can’t I for just five minutes get a break? Seriously. Why can’t I?”
The airship lurched, and I held my stomach, groaning.
“Oh, I see you’ve got a case of seasickness. Did you bring any fizzy tablets?”
I shook my head. “No.”
She rubbed her liver-spotted hands together. They glowed with magic. Grandma placed one on my stomach and one on my head. The warm tingle of her power flowed through me. A moment later my nausea had vanished.
“Thank you,” I said.
“Now, Dylan, I won’t get in the way. Don’t worry. I’m only here if you need me. I can create a top bunk on your bed and sleep there.”
I flared my arms. “No way. You’re not staying here. Roman might be amazing and patient, but that limit will be reached if he finds you here.”
The door opened, and Roman stepped inside. “I found fizzy tablets, crackers and Sprite.” He froze when he saw Grandma. “And I see you found something else.”
Grandma strode forward. “Don’t worry; I’m not here to ruin your honeymoon. I’ve only come if you have questions, need encouragement or seek advice. I’ve got my own room I’ll be staying in. It’s not far from here, just down the hall.”
Grandma wiggled her fingers, and her outfit changed from Amelia Earhart to something more normal. “Now, I’ll just be going and finding my cabin. I’ll be around if you need me.”
She flitted from the room before I could say anything else.
I smacked a palm to my forehead. “She showed up right after you left.”
He frowned. “What’s she doing here?”
“Says she wants to see Celestial Island. Grandma appeared right after the stowaway hunter showed up at the door, sniffing them out.”
Roman raked his fingers through his sun-bleached blond hair. His green eyes darkened, became turbulent. “If that guy’s about, you better bring her back in here.”
I stamped my foot. “But it’s our honeymoon. She knows that. She just has to create mischief everywhere she goes.”
Roman shook his head. “Doesn’t matter,” he said, his voice deepening. “If that guy gets ahold of her, he’ll dish out the maximum punishment
for stowaways.”
“And what’s that?” I said.
Roman’s jaw clenched when he said, “He’ll force her to walk the plank.”
Oh boy.
TWO
I rushed out the door. I had to find Grandma before that Sniff fellow made her walk the plank. Sheesh. How 1492 could you be?
According to Roman, the crew of this ship could be very 1492—case in point, walking the plank.
Roman led the way, his deep strides sending me sprinting after him.
I raked my fingers through my hair and gritted my teeth. “Where could she have gone?”
Roman stopped. He turned to me and tapped his fingers against his tapered hips. “The question of the century. If you were your grandmother, where would you go?”
I clenched my lips in thought. Old woman plus airship equaled mischief. I clapped my hands. “I’ve got it. Where’s the nearest party?”
We only had to glance at the bulletin board hovering magically in front of us. It announced dinner, card games, and then I saw carnival night on deck 8.
I snapped my fingers. “I bet she’s there, at the carnival.”
Roman scrubbed a hand down his jaw. “Let’s go.”
We found deck 8 easily enough. And the carnival even easier.
A dimly lit conference room boasted a glowing starscape overhead. Lights twinkled and blinked, making it seem like we were under the open sky. It was kind of magical. In fact, I noticed a cloud drifting overhead.
“Wow, give a cruise ship to witches and they take a mile,” I said.
Roman chuckled. “It’s the good kind of magic being used here.”
Carnival barkers pitched their games and shows. There was a guess-your-weight station, a shooting gallery game and lots of colorful clowns running around. My gaze snagged on a sign that read Eighth Wonder of the World—See the two-headed man.
Apparently there was also an exhibit of the grotesque. Well, I guess it wouldn’t be a carnival without it, right?
I chewed on the inside of my lip before spitting it out. “I don’t think she’s at the exhibit, but I wouldn’t put it past her to be eating cotton candy and chatting up the strongman.”
Roman grazed his fingers down my arm. “Want to split up or stay together?”
I grimaced. “With that Sniff guy hanging around, I think we need to split up.”
Roman nodded. “Meet you back here in ten minutes,” he said, snatching a glance at his watch.
“Sounds good.”
I wove through the carnival. The turbulent weather had slackened, making it easier to move in the crowd.
I was musing about the smooth ride when the ship dipped to the right. I jostled sideways, and my foot snagged the hem of a woman’s evening gown.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured.
The woman whipped around. She was older, with tight blonde curls piled about six inches high on her head. It actually looked more like a Colonial wig than real hair. Diamond earrings dangled from her ears, and a poodle snuggled in her arms.
“Watch where you’re going,” she snapped. She turned to a small mousy woman wearing a blue blazer and a black tie. “They let anyone into these things anymore.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “If your hem wasn’t so long, it wouldn’t have happened,” I mumbled.
The nerve of some people. It wasn’t like I’d intentionally stepped on her dress. I certainly didn’t deserve the jab she threw my way.
The brown-haired woman nodded at me and then at the older lady. “I’m sure she didn’t mean it, Griselda.”
“Commoners always mean it when they do bad things. And don’t take up for them or I’ll get rid of you, too.”
The woman blanched. I felt for her. Griselda seemed like a horrible woman to work for.
I closed my eyes and counted to ten. “Okay, well I’ve apologized, so I’m off. Sheesh,” I said to myself. “Some people.”
A man twirling a cane and wearing an old barbershop quartet hat sidled up to me. He pinched the corner of his mustache between two fingers and said, “Griselda Blanche owns half of Celestial Island. She has no manners, thinks she’s entitled to half the world and is generally the nastiest person I know.”
I laughed in spite of myself. “How do you know her?”
He extended a gloved hand. “Max Devereaux, at your service. Everybody knows her. She runs the cruise circuit about once a month, so we deal with her and her ridiculous requests often. She’s worth a fortune and doesn’t spend a dime, so don’t expect a tip. If she wasn’t so influential, the captain would’ve kicked her off a long time ago for being a genuinely nasty person.”
I shrugged. “Well, I guess that’s just how some people are.”
Max nodded. “Watch yourself around her. If she thinks you’re up to something, she’ll go straight to the captain and have you thrown off the ship. And I’ve seen it done enough to know it can be a painful experience.”
I cringed. “Like, literally thrown off the ship?”
Max nodded. “Yes, ma’am. Thrown off and left to get yourself home magically.”
“Thanks, I’ll remember that.”
Squabbling voices kicked up behind me. It seemed my search was over.
I turned around and found Grandma arguing with Griselda. I edged close and caught the important snippets of their conversation.
“How dare you accuse my doggy like that,” Griselda spat. “Fifi is a pure breed.”
“Well, Fifi winkied on my shoes,” Grandma announced for the entire carnival to hear. “Keep Fifi on a leash or else.”
Griselda’s eyes narrowed. She took a step forward and fisted the air. “Or else what? I own half the airspace in these parts. I could sell you off to a band of thieves if I wanted to.”
Grandma stroked her chin. “Would they be good-looking? And young, preferably young. But at my age I consider sixty to be young. But can the thieves also look like Johnny Depp? He’s so handsome, especially in that pirate movie.”
I scurried up and clasped my hand around Grandma’s arm. “Why don’t we all settle down? Everybody take a deep breath, and we’ll move right along.”
Griselda glared at me. “I don’t know why I even bother to come here anymore. It’s commoners everywhere we go. Come, Annie,” she said to the woman in the blazer, “let us go to the other side of the carnival. The better side.”
Griselda led Annie the Assistant off as I steered Grandma in the opposite direction. I leaned over. “What are you trying to do? Get yourself kicked off? That woman means business. Don’t mess with her.”
“Dylan, I couldn’t help it that Fifi winkied on me. That woman should control her dog and keep him where he’s supposed to be. Maybe I’ll go winkie on him. Teach them all a lesson.”
She started to step back toward Griselda. I coiled my hand like the grip of death around her arm. “No. No. Come on. We’ve got a few minutes before meeting Roman. We’ve got to figure out what we’re going to do with you.”
She shrugged. “Don’t let me ruin your honeymoon.”
“Too late,” I grumbled. “Let’s look around and stay away from Griselda.”
“Five dollars to read your fortune,” came a voice from the left.
My gaze swept the carnival until it landed on her. Sitting in a booth, a handkerchief over her hair, big gold hoop earrings dangling from her ears and rings dripping from her fingers, sat a gypsy.
She glided a hand out in front of her. “Five dollars to read your fortune. I can already see that you’re a newlywed. You may not think you need your fortune read, by there are things I can tell you. Things only the spirits know. Facts and figures that can help you navigate the next few months and years of your life. I, the Magical Maria of Mystics, have guided diplomats, presidents, even royalty through their lives.”
“Then what are you doing here on carnival night?” I said.
Maria winked at me. “It is part of my service to mankind that I help those who won’t be dignitaries or kings.”
I glanced at Grandma. “Do you see a theme here? Everyone seems to think we’re commoners.”
Grandma threw her gauzy white scarf around her neck. “Speak for yourself.”
Grandma wiggled her fingers for me to approach the great Maria. A slip of magic traced up my back and started pushing me forward.
“Grandma,” I said between my teeth. “What are you doing?”
She flashed me an innocent smile full of pearly teeth.
“Did you get your teeth whitened?” I said.
She nodded. “You like them?”
“Oh yes, they look very nice.”
The pushing started again. I locked my knees. I did not appreciate being thrown into a situation that I had no control over. Because let’s face it, my family had a way of pushing me into situations that were not only outlandish, but also forced me into death-defying acts of magic and luck.
“Stop,” I snapped.
Grandma twirled her hands. “Let the Magical Maria tell you things.”
She punched a hand into her pocket and fished out a bill. Grandma slapped it on the table. “Tell my granddaughter everything you can. I want to know, too.”
I gaped at Grandma. “I don’t want my fortune read. I don’t need my fortune. Roman is here. I am here. We are on our honeymoon. There’s nothing more to say.”
Grandma bobbed her head. “Don’t you want to know about your children? Which one is going to be difficult and which is going to be easy?”
I shook my head. “No. I don’t want to know. I don’t care.”
Grandma pushed me forward. “Well, I want to know. Maria, tell us everything.”
Maria smiled widely. She shoved the bill into her bra and motioned for us to sit. She pulled a crystal ball from under the table and set it on top.
