by Bella Grant
“She’s a very lucky woman. In all the years I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him bring a woman and spend the week with her here.”
Cherise wanted to tell Eric all the reasons Jenna was not a lucky woman but bit her tongue.
“I would like to run home after my work is done, then I will come back to pick you up?”
“That sounds lovely,” she said. He left her in the afternoon darkness of her bedroom, wondering how her life had changed so much that she had casual sex in Dominica.
She asked herself if she regretted responding to Sterling’s job offer. Should she have passed on it, let it go to one of the other grad students in her department?
If she hadn’t gotten this job, would she and Ricky still be together? Or would she be back in South Africa, forced to give up her dreams? Neither of those options appealed to her. If it all worked out, she’d get her doctorate and graduate one hundred percent debt-free. It was a luxury almost no one in her generation had. She was working hard for her money here. She just wished it wasn’t taking a toll on her emotionally. Well, they had until spring for the wedding, so she hoped for her own sake, Sterling was out there doing his damnedest to woo his future bride.
STERLING
Sterling tracked Cherise down in her dark bedroom when he got back from the beach. He needed to fill her in on the conversation with Jenna. Let her know everything was going according to plan.
“What are you doing in here? Why is it so dark?”
“I was taking a nap.” She sounded awfully defensive. “I was out by the pool all afternoon and got sleepy.”
“Good news. I mentioned I wanted to get married and that I wanted it to happen quickly, and she sounds on board with it.”
“You proposed to her?” Cherise’s tone was flat.
“No, I just kinda floated the idea. Testing the waters.”
“When we first met, you told me you couldn’t trust anyone’s motives because of the scale of your wealth. Of course she’s interested in marrying you. You’re good-looking, you’re rich, and you’re not a horrible human being.”
“Thank you?”
“I’m being serious. There’s no way she’s going to say no to you.”
“Well, great for all of us.”
“Sure is. I get my PhD.”
“That you do.” He’d give it to her regardless. She deserved it and deserved not to have to worry about the cost. He didn’t, however, need to let her know that. “We’re going to head into Roseau for dinner at eight. It’s on the fancier end. Maybe you can wear the green dress.”
“I think I’ll pass.”
“Pass? On dinner? Is this because of what happened this morning?”
“No,” she said. “Eric asked me to go to dinner with him a little later. I said yes.”
“Eric?” Sterling said. She didn’t know anyone here. And why was she glaring at him like that?
“Ben’s assistant, Eric, remember?”
“That guy is taking you to dinner? Seriously?”
“Why is that so hard to believe?”
Sterling was being an idiot. But he was jealous, dammit. He liked it when Cherise was around because it gave him something to talk about with Jenna. It was a little weird when it was just the two of them. He didn’t quite know what to say. At least with Cherise there, the conversation kept moving. Ben wasn’t going to join them, either. Just a romantic evening out with him and his almost-fiancée. He should be excited that no one else was crashing their party.
“What’s this guy like? What’s his deal?”
“If he’s good enough for Ben, he’s good enough to take me to dinner, don’t you think? Besides, you and Jenna need to get to know each other.”
Sterling opened his mouth and closed it again. “I hope your dinner is good. I want to get some work done in the morning, and I’m going to need you for it. Probably at eight.”
“Don’t be an asshole, Sterling.”
“I’m not. I have to get shit done.” He glared at her, perfectly aware he was, in fact, being an asshole. “If I don’t make money, no one will like me, remember?”
“I never said that.”
“You don’t have to. Don’t stay out too late.”
He left her room, feeling agitated and pissed off. He ought to fire her. Send her on her way. He’d give her the money for all her degrees and tell her to have a nice life. That way, he wouldn’t be tempted to sleep with her anymore.
Marry her instead of Jenna. The thought stopped him in his tracks in the hallway, and he looked around to see if anyone was there to notice, like the thought might have audibly escaped his mind.
It would never work. Someone like Jenna, going in cool with no expectations… That made sense. Cherise wasn’t trophy wife material. She’d want to be an equal partner, would want to be loved, and it just wasn’t going to happen. Jenna would be happy with him. Going to spas, getting her nails done. Different personalities. He and Cherise would be hot at first, but then she’d realize he was empty inside, always had been, and then she’d leave.
It would be better to get it over with now. Get the hurt out of the way quickly instead of have it keep building. But he wouldn’t do that. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was stupid or selfish or what. He didn’t want to see her go. He didn’t want to see her go out with Eric. Didn’t want to see her go out with anyone. It wasn’t fair, he knew.
He found Ben in his study. “What’s up with Eric?”
Ben tipped his head down to study Sterling over his glasses. “Is this in reference to his taking Miss Cherise out to dinner tonight?”
“I’m curious about the guy, is all. I’ve kind of taken Cherise under my wing. She’s an asset to my company, and I want to be sure she’s in good hands for the evening.”
“She is.”
“Good.”
“Sterling?”
“Yes, Ben?” He’d put his foot in it now. He should have known Ben would see through him. He always did.
“It doesn’t always have to end like it did for your parents.”
The words hit him like a knife through the heart. “I know that.”
“Are you sure?”
He wanted to get out of here. Wanted to back away from the whole conversation. Hit rewind. He hadn’t been thinking about his parents when he’d walked into the room and didn’t want to think about them, ever.
“I know you’re getting married to get my money.”
Sterling opened his mouth and closed it again. He couldn’t argue with his mentor. “It makes business sense to merge Waters Enterprise and Bachmann Entertainment Group. We’ve been building the companies for this from the day Waters Enterprise started. It would be crazy to give the shares to the board.”
“You’ve been running from any real human interaction for years, Sterling.”
It hadn’t had any ill effects on him. He was fine. He had friends, he had hobbies, he had his dog. Not everyone was built for a relationship. Sometimes, he actually resented Ben for trying to force this normal lifestyle on him. It wasn’t who he was.
Ben was dying. Sterling had spoken to two of the guy’s doctors, and both of them said the same thing. The cancer spread before they could catch it, and even if they’d seen it six months earlier, with Ben’s age, there was no guarantee they could do anything about it. Sterling didn’t have the heart to argue with the guy. He hated seeing him like this.
“Do you love Jenna?”
“Ben, don’t.”
“I mean it.”
“She’s a good woman, and I’m going to do right by her.” Sterling thought about this morning by the waterfall. He was already not doing right by her. Dammit, this was so convoluted.
“You’re a better person than you let yourself be. Open your heart to someone with two legs instead of four.”
A million rebuttals flared in Sterling’s mind. He wouldn’t let any other living person talk to him like this. With Ben, it was different. Especially since he wasn’t going to be here much longer.<
br />
“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind,” he said, and ducked out of the study. Panic and feelings crashed down on him. The kinds of things he’d carefully cultivated his life to avoid. He tried to imagine life without Ben and could only envision a gaping black abyss.
In the next few months, Ben would be gone, and most likely, Ambrosia, too, the two beings he cared most about in this world. He knew he would function without them, but he couldn’t see how. What would there be left to live for?
If he didn’t get his shit together, he was going to cry. It had been a long time since he had, and it wasn’t about to happen now. There would be a lot of crying in the coming months, he knew, but not today.
“Sterling, are you all right?”
Dammit. Jenna. Probably the one person in this house he least wanted to see him like this.
“I’m fine,” he snapped.
“What’s wrong?”
Oh nothing, just contemplating the mortality of everything I love and realizing I’m an insufferable prick.
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.” Jenna put her hands on her slender hips and frowned at him.
The next twenty years of his life flashed before his eyes, the years before the inevitable divorce.
“I just need a minute.”
“Why do you need a minute if there’s nothing wrong?”
He didn’t want to snap. Didn’t want to rage at her. He’d spent so long trying to curb his temper. A yell bubbled up in his throat, but instead, he stalked past her and out the door into the sunny afternoon garden. He headed past Cherise’s room to the edge of the lawn, to the same path he’d taken running earlier in the day.
CHERISE
Cherise wasn’t expecting the knock on her door and certainly wasn’t expecting to see Jenna there, her face red and angry.
Oh shit, had he told her?
“Jenna,” Cherise stammered. “What’s wrong?” Sweat sprang out on her palms, and she pressed her hands to her shorts to dry them. Did she know?
“What’s wrong with Sterling?”
“I haven’t seen him for an hour or so. What are you talking about?”
“He looked like he was having a panic attack or something. When I asked about it he snapped at me. He seemed really mad, and I was kind of scared of him.”
Cherise tried to think of something that would have set him off. Certainly not her dinner with Eric… It was ridiculous to think his fit could be about her. But she couldn’t have Jenna being scared of Sterling.
“Did you check if Ambrosia is all right?” It was the first thing Cherise could think of, the only thing she could imagine that would rile Sterling up into such a state.
“No.”
Worried now, Cherise pushed past Jenna and down the hall to Sterling’s suite. She knocked twice, then opened the door, peering inside. Ambrosia lay on her dog bed in a patch of sun, lifting her white-muzzled head lazily when the women came in. She tapped her tail on the floor and rolled onto her back for belly rubs. Cherise obliged her, finding the spot on her stomach that made her back leg twitch.
“So it wasn’t the dog,” Jenna said. “What else could make him so mad?”
Cherise debated what to say, how to save this. Sterling owed her big time. Owed her huge. “Has he told you about Ben’s health?” Cherise asked.
“I know he’s not well.”
For another second, she debated, then spat it out. “It’s cancer. The prognosis isn’t good. For all his debonair exterior, Sterling’s…” Oh, how to phrase what she’d observed over these past few months? “He’s not really good with people or feelings. I know he’s trying to get better, and it would crush him to know he’d upset you. But I bet he’s upset about Ben. And the dog. She’s not doing so great either.”
Cherise looked down at Ambrosia as she said it, and the dog rolled onto her back, all four legs in the air. “I don’t know, but that’s what I’d put my money on having upset him. Maybe he’ll be ready to talk about it in a bit. He doesn’t like to show weakness, and you probably caught him in a vulnerable moment.”
“He said he wants to marry me.” Jenna sat primly on the edge of the bed and folded her hands over her knees.
Cherise put on a surprised face. “He proposed?”
“No, not exactly. He just said he wanted to be married before Ben died—he wants Ben to be there.”
“So it makes sense that he’s thinking about all this stuff and is upset.”
“He seemed so mad at me.”
“I bet he was mad at himself.” Cherise wondered if she were defending a monster here, setting Jenna up for failure—for a cold and loveless marriage. As always, her mind came back to the money.
“He’s not perfect. He’s got a lot of his own shit he’s trying to work through. But he’s a good guy. I promise.”
She wasn’t lying. He was a good guy. A great guy. She thought about how he’d helped her when Ricky left. How he’d been so patient and warm when they were rock climbing. He had two sides, the billionaire and the man, and sometimes, they fought one another. If only he could see he needed to let the man win more often. She’d talk to him in the morning about it.
“Where are you guys going for dinner?”
“You’re not coming?” Jenna’s face fell.
“You’re never going to believe it. Eric—Ben’s assistant Eric—asked me to go to dinner with him. Like a date!”
The girly gossip brought Jenna alive. “Oh, my goodness! What are you going to wear?”
“I haven’t decided yet. Let’s go look. I’m sure by the time Sterling gets back, he’ll be all sorted out and will be so sorry he got upset with you.”
Jenna followed Cherise back into her own room. Ambrosia came too, limping along behind them and flopping on the floor in a black heap.
Jenna picked through the closet, all dresses Sterling’s personal shopper had bought her. She narrowed it down to a classic little black dress and the green one Sterling asked her to wear tonight. Would he see it as a big ‘fuck you’ if she wore the dress to dinner with Eric instead? Cherise decided her main job was to keep Jenna happy, and she would do whatever Jenna needed her to.
“I like the cut of the black one,” Jenna said, explaining her logic, “but we’re in a tropical place. You need something more fun. Do the green one. Wear the black one back in New York to a museum function or a gala opening of something. What do you have for shoes? What do you have for makeup?”
###
Cherise wore the green dress and a pair of tan heels with gold jewelry. Jenna did her makeup for her in shimmery green and gold in a way that actually managed to look classy instead of streetwalker.
She caught Sterling’s eye before he and Jenna left for dinner looking casual and not nearly as dolled up as Cherise. She couldn’t read the look he gave her, so she dropped her gaze and pretended to focus on her cell phone.
Eric arrived a few minutes before nine, and Cherise was happy to see he was dressed up, too.
“You look beautiful.” He got out and held the door of his Jaguar for her. Apparently, Ben paid a good salary. Cherise wondered what he would do when his employer passed away.
He took her to a little beachside place, and they sat at a table on the sand lit by strings of white, twinkly lights. They talked about where they went to school. She learned Eric had a master’s in communication. “Lot of good it’s doing me, as you can see.”
“Hey, you don’t see me using mine at the moment, either. I want to get my PhD.”
“Do you want to teach, or do you want to open a practice?”
“I haven’t quite decided what I want to do yet. I really like research. I really like studying why people do the things they do.”
It made her think, sitting with him under the stars. Why was she doing what she was doing? She couldn’t tell if she was here to make Sterling jealous or if she thought she should have a nice night out with an available, appropriate man. She kept glancing at her watch, wonderin
g how Sterling and Jenna were doing. She half hoped it was going well, half willed their evening to tank.
She tried so hard to focus on Eric and the things he talked about. He should have been everything she wanted—handsome, kind, and articulate. But her mind was filled with all things Sterling.
It struck her as funny that sitting here, for the first time, she was able to admit to herself she’d fallen for her boss. Of course, it had happened some time ago, but she couldn’t see it until now. She knew she should leave the job, but then she’d never see him again.
“Can I get you another drink?”
Her head was already swimming, the taste of good tequila blending with the ceviche she’d had for dinner. She supposed this was the point of no return. Be responsible, decline the offer, and go back to her giant bed where she could think about Sterling? Or say yes and try to have some fun?
“That would be great, thanks.”
Eric flagged down the waiter and got another margarita for Cherise and a Jack and Coke for himself.
The ocean lapped against the sand, and lights twinkled from a cruise ship moored offshore. They sipped their drinks, ordered another round, and by the time they were ready to go, Cherise kicked off her heels and held them in her hand. Before going back to the car, they walked to the edge of the water. The tide was going out, leaving shells and treasures on the sand. Cherise stooped to pick up a little starfish and held it in the palm of her hand. Its little sucker legs tickled her skin.
“Dominica is beautiful.” She’d never been anywhere like it. She hadn’t really travelled much. A little bit around South Africa and once into Zimbabwe on a school trip. Then to New York. She hadn’t seen much of the US, either. She had been too focused on her studies. She never did the whole spring break thing in the Caribbean, never even went down to Florida. Now here she was, on this tiny tropical paradise, feeling the warm ocean on her toes, the cool sand under her heels, and Eric’s hand holding hers.
He kissed her neck, his mouth so gentle and warm she almost didn’t know it was there at first. Somehow, he was the same temperature as the air, which made her feel like she was in a float tank, not knowing where one thing ended and another began. Or maybe that was just the tequila.
