“What are you talking about?” she asked, sounding confused. “I thought we were talking about the same thing. I just don’t know how you would even know about that.”
“You need to go first. Explain to me what you’re talking about.”
She sighed. “Well, I’ve been getting this strange sensation down there. It feels like vibrations—like the faint feeling of a cell phone going off inside my vagina. But very faint. I actually called my doctor about it. He thinks it’s hormonal or maybe some type of muscle fasciculation from stress. Like the same kind of thing that happens when you’re nervous or have too much caffeine.”
“Muscle what?”
“Fasciculation. Like a muscle twitch.”
“Ah, yeah…I get those in my dick,” I snickered.
“Shut up.” She was laughing now, too. “But the question is…how on Earth did you know?”
This conversation was seriously up there with one of the strangest I’d ever had.
Wiping my eyes, I said, “I didn’t, Gia. I didn’t know about your vibrating pussy.” I snorted.
“But you brought it up!”
“I was referring to my own vibrating pussy—or rather your pussy vibrating in my hand.”
“What? I’m so confused.”
“Okay…you interrupted something when you called.”
“Something?”
“Yeah, I was just about to jack off.”
“Oh…gotcha.”
“To pictures of you, if you must know. I was using a photo of your naked pussy to get off. Remember the pictures I took of you a while back?”
“Yeah, uh-huh.”
“When you called, the phone started vibrating. Thus…vibrating pussy.”
She laughed. “Wow. Okay. Now it all makes total sense…but that’s really coincidental. You know I can help you out, I’m just a phone call away, and maybe you could even help me with my own vibrating pussy.”
“Gia…”
It took everything in me not to jump in my car and take all of my frustrations out on her. But I wasn’t thinking straight tonight. It was safer for me to just stay here in my bed where I couldn’t crash into cars or violate a vibrating pussy.
Riley stood near the door of my bedroom. “I can’t believe you’re leaving this week, too.” She crossed her arms. “I was sure everything was going to work out with you guys. I still have faith, though.”
Riley was watching me get dressed for the end-of-the-season party at The Heights. Given that she knew nothing about Elliott being the father of my baby, it was no surprise that she was utterly confused about why I had to leave.
“This has been a wild summer. I’ll never forget it,” she said.
“Neither will I.”
“Do you think you’ll come back next summer?”
Was she serious?
“With the baby? No. My life as I know it is pretty much over, Riley. No more summer shares for about eighteen years.”
She blew out a breath. “It’s just hard to believe that things won’t ever be the same again.”
Her words hit me hard. In her mind, I was certain she was referring to no more “fun in the sun.” For me, they meant so much more. Whether or not Rush ever came around, things would never be the same for us. Either he would be gone from my life, or we would have to adjust to a whole new set of challenges. I just wished he loved me enough to want to fight for the latter, even if it was painful. But I didn’t get to choose how this was going to play out.
“What do you plan on doing when you get to the City?” she asked.
“Well, I have to find a job. That’s number one. And I have to finish my book. That’s number two. Hopefully, once I’m there, I’ll be able to focus more on the writing.”
“I can’t wait to read this book when it’s done. I don’t even read romance, but I’ll read this one.” Her eyes widened. “Hey…you should put Rush on the cover. Bet that would sell.”
For some reason, that rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe that’s just because I was extra sensitive, but I really didn’t want to hear another woman pointing out how attractive my likely soon-to-be ex was.
“I can’t really see him posing. He’s not really the Fabio type.”
“Well, that’s definitely true.” She laughed.
Riley went downstairs, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I’d picked the prettiest maternity dress I owned to wear to the party tonight. It was black and gold with a sequined neckline. It was cut in a way that hid my ever-protruding stomach.
I was absolutely dreading having to say goodbye to Rush soon. The quicker the exit, the better. No long goodbyes for me. I just couldn’t handle it.
Everything was packed away except for the last few items that I kept in my room because I needed the strength they gave me.
I grabbed them one by one as I prepared to take them with me.
Melody’s sunset painting. While it made me sad, it also gave me hope and helped remind me that this summer was a magical journey, despite the painful parts. The sun always sets and rises, no matter what. Tomorrow is always a new day. This painting would continue to give me hope for years to come.
The black-haired doll that Rush bought me from the thrift store. While I had packed all of my other ugly dolls away, I just hadn’t been able to part with that one yet. It was a reminder of just how much Rush really “got me” and how even in the worst of times, he always knew how to make me smile.
Rush’s black shirt—the one I wore as a dress to Elliott’s party, the night I discovered he was Harlan. That shirt was my reality check. It reminded me not to let my guard down whenever I would start to believe that love trumped all. It was a protective mechanism, one I wouldn’t be returning to its rightful owner, especially since after all this time, it still smelled like him.
I started to break down as I packed the shirt away. Elliott still didn’t know about the baby. I could only imagine how terrible telling him was going to be. My biggest fear was that he would try to capitalize on it in some way, namely hurting me to get to Rush.
The hyped-up end-of-the-season party definitely lived up to its reputation.
Rush had gone all out tonight. There were huge lanterns set up outside. A local cover band that was really hard to get was playing on the rooftop. He’d booked them a year in advance for this event. The weather was absolutely gorgeous with a light breeze and perfect for the outdoor bar.
We were full to capacity. I sort of floated through the party, refusing to actually think about what this night meant. I couldn’t allow myself to dwell on it long enough to cry.
The evening was just passing on by, but I really wished it would slow down. Rush was nowhere to be found. I couldn’t tell if he was just tending to things or hiding from me. But I definitely felt his absence tonight, not only on the floor but in my heart.
The sooner you get used to it, the better.
Oak came around a corner. “How you holding up, pretty lady?”
Just the sight of Oak made me sad. He’d been such a good friend and advocate. I was really going to miss seeing him all the time. A giant man with a giant heart.
“Hey…before I forget to tell you…” I said. “Thank you for everything this summer…for looking out for me here and for your support through the worst of everything. I’ll never forget it.”
“Whoa. That sounds an awful lot like goodbye.”
I shrugged. “Well, it sort of is. It’s our last night of work. Just a few more days, and I’ll be back in Queens.”
Oak looked like he was at a loss for words. Then he finally said, “I refuse to believe Rush is gonna let you go, Gia. I refuse to believe I won’t be seeing you anymore.”
“He’s made no effort to stop me.” I looked around the crowded room and my voice cracked. “I haven’t even seen him all night. Have you?”
“He’s around, yeah. He’s probably struggling in his own way with the same thing you are.”
A wave of sadness hit me. At that moment, I saw Rush’s mom, Melody, walk in.
She headed straight toward me.
I tried to act happy as I hugged her. “Melody, I wasn’t sure if you’d be here.”
“I never miss this party, and tomorrow’s the employee brunch, but I certainly couldn’t miss any of it knowing that you’re leaving soon.”
“Rush and I…we aren’t…”
She smiled sympathetically and reached for my hand. “I know, sweetheart. I know.”
“I haven’t seen him around much tonight,” I told her.
Melody didn’t seem surprised. “That’s probably intentional.”
“That’s what I was afraid of.”
“I wouldn’t take that to mean he doesn’t care…just the opposite, Gia. Pretty sure this is one of the hardest nights of his life. He’s probably avoiding you to keep from getting upset. He won’t be able to hide all night, though.”
Hearing her say that made me want to go find him.
Things were busy, and I was standing around ignoring customers. “I have to get back to work. Will you make some time for me after closing?”
Melody placed her hand on my arm. “Of course. That’s why I’m here. Spending the night at Rush’s tonight.”
“Okay.” I smiled.
Melody went to mingle, and I resumed my duties, seating people and flashing fake smiles to customers.
It wasn’t until about an hour later that Rush finally appeared. I swore I felt his presence before I even noticed him standing there. Something in the room just shifted. Then I turned and there he was.
He took my breath away. Rush was more dressed up than usual, wearing a black polo that showcased his tatted arms and pants that hugged his beautiful ass. Damn, he looked amazing.
I guess I assumed he would continue to ignore me. But he did the last thing I expected. He came over to me and grabbed my hand. He was leading me outside.
My heart started to pound. “What are you doing? I have to finish up my shift.”
“I’ve got it covered. You’re off for the rest of the night.”
“I am?”
“Yes.”
It felt so good to be holding his hand. It had been too long. He led me out the door and all the way down to the water, then sat down on the sand and patted the ground, prompting me to situate myself between his legs. Rush enveloped me in his arms and placed his cheek on my back.
My entire body seemed to calm down instantly. He was quiet, and I relished the heat of his body against mine as we sat there together.
I didn’t understand what was happening, and I didn’t question it. In my mind, silence was good. It meant he couldn’t tell me that whatever this was between us now was over. As far as I was concerned, silence bought us more time.
Finally, I had to ask, “What are we doing?”
Yes, that question was both literal and figurative.
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing. We’re just sitting. I want to enjoy this moment with you out here. Is that okay?”
“Yeah. I’m just surprised. You were ignoring me all night.”
“You really think you were far from my mind, Gia?”
I didn’t answer because it was a rhetorical question. Of course, I was on his mind.
He continued, “You’re all I can think about tonight. Hell, any night.”
We were silent again for a long while. It felt damn good to be in his arms again, a feeling of safety like no other. I looked back at The Heights in the distance, and all of the chaos of the party seemed like a distant memory compared to our peaceful retreat.
He spoke against my back. “I’m sorry I was MIA tonight. It was hard for me to deal with it being your last night at The Heights. It was easier for me not to deal with it at all.”
“It’s okay. I get it. I know it’s hard. We’re both in this together. It’s hard for me, too.”
He spoke against my back. “When I finally came to the main dining room, I looked over at you, and immediately regretted wasting the whole night ruminating in my office when I could have spent it looking at you in this dress. You look so beautiful.”
I turned my head around and just couldn’t help it, giving him a gentle kiss on the lips. “I’m glad you stole me away.”
He ran his hand through my hair. “You’re coming to the staff brunch tomorrow afternoon, right?”
“Yeah…I’ll be there but I have some more packing to do in the morning.”
He didn’t respond to that.
I continued sitting between his legs staring out at the ocean, wondering if I would ever see this body of water again. If things didn’t work out, would I ever come back, or would it simply be too painful?
Rush placed both of his hands on my belly and began to rub. I closed my eyes. It felt so good. There wasn’t any better feeling than a man with big, beautiful hands rubbing your stomach. Well, maybe there were a couple of better feelings. But right now, this was just what the doctor ordered.
I felt the baby start to kick and jumped. “Did you feel that?” It wasn’t the first time, but it was definitely one of the most intense.
“Yeah.” He laughed. “Yeah, I did. He must like the beach.”
“I think he’s responding to being rubbed, actually.”
“He can feel it when I do this?”
“Yes. I read that they can. Isn’t that crazy?”
“Wow.” He continued massaging me. “Hey, are you gonna find out what it is…a boy or a girl?”
“Why do you even need to ask if you’re so sure it’s a boy?” I chided.
“I want to be able to tell you I told you so.”
“Actually, I think I want to be surprised. There aren’t that many times in life you can choose to be surprised. I think I’d like to wait.”
“Fair enough. We’ve definitely had enough surprises we couldn’t control.”
“That’s for damn sure,” I said.
I was practically falling asleep as he continued to rub my stomach. The baby had stopped moving, though. Maybe he fell asleep. He. I laughed, realizing Rush had me believing it was a boy, too.
I still couldn’t believe Rush abandoned his own bar’s party to spend this private time with me. This would be something I would never forget.
Suddenly, he said, “Did you feel that?”
I jumped a little. “What?”
“That.”
“No? The baby moved? I didn’t feel it.”
“No. It’s coming from here.” He slid his hand below my stomach. “I think it’s your pussy vibrating.”
I giggled and elbowed him in the side. “Jerk.”
Normally, I couldn’t wait for the summer season to be over. I’d be fed up with snobby customers, unreliable staff who call in sick for a damn sunburn, and ready for the stop-and-go tourists to get the hell off the road. But not this year. This year, I wasn’t ready to see it end. And the reason for that was currently walking around hugging all the staff with tears in her eyes.
I walked over as she hugged Oak. It was the second one she’d given him, and a pang of jealousy might’ve crept in, no matter how ludicrous I knew it was.
“You do realize that you’re going to see everyone at the Morning After brunch tomorrow, right?”
She sniffled back tears. “I know. But this is the last night that we’ll all be working together.”
“So does that mean tonight you cry because you’re done working with these people and then tomorrow you cry all over again because you’ll actually be saying goodbye?”
Gia stuck out her tongue. “Shut up.”
I smirked. “What’d I tell you about sticking out that tongue at me, little girl?”
Oak shook his head and chuckled. It was almost five in the morning, the last of the customers were booted out an hour ago, and most of my staff had left, with the exception of Riley, Oak, Gia, and one of the busboys. They all walked to the front door at once.
I unlocked it to let them out. “See you at two tomorrow?”
“Get some sleep, sweetheart.”
After I watched them all get into their cars and safely take off, I locked the door. I needed to get some sleep myself. The Morning After party was a tradition I started when I took over The Heights. The day after the year-end bash, I threw a brunch for all of my employees. I did the setup, serving, and pouring—which the employees all seemed to get a kick out of every year. But that meant that I needed to be back here pretty early in order to make sure everything was ready when they arrived.
Yet I didn’t feel like leaving still. So I shut off all the lights, took a tablecloth from the supply closet to lie down on, and headed out back to the beach. It was still dark, but it wouldn’t be too long before the sun started to come up. Normally I was a sunset kind of guy—sitting around reflecting on my day and watching Mother Nature put the sky to bed. I liked a fade-to-black ending. It had always seemed fitting for my life. But today sunrise seemed right—the dawn of a new day bringing hope and a chance to start over fresh. Maybe it would shed some figurative light on me while the literal took over the sky.
“Hey, Rush.” Oak’s wife Min walked over and gave me a hug while holding one of her and Oak’s daughters on her hip. Every time I saw Min Lee, I got a kick out of how tiny she was. She couldn’t be more than five foot tall and weigh a hundred pounds soaking wet. If I didn’t think he’d clock me, I’d be busting her husband’s balls about how the hell they made that shit work in the sack.
“Hey, Min. You look great. Still don’t understand what you see in that big doofus.” I winked.
“Watch it,” Oak said. “There’s no bouncer on duty right now to save your scrawny ass if I decide to use your head as a punching bag.”
Only a dude as enormous as Oak could call a guy my size scrawny. I chuckled. “You don’t scare me,” I joked while pulling his wife in front of me like a human shield.
“That’s right. Put the person with the biggest cajones in front of you for protection.”
We all laughed. While Oak and his family settled in, I went and got them their drinks: a mimosa for Min and a beer for my buddy. We liked to argue and screw around, but I had needed Oak a lot this year. He’d been my confidant with everything going on with Gia, and it would have sucked without him. That’s why I’d stuck an extra two grand in his end-of-year bonus this year. He deserved it just for putting up with my whining ass.
Rebel Heart Page 16
