‘I thought your last album was very good,’ he whispered.
‘I hardly think this is the time, Palmer,’ said Mr Bigsby.
‘Strush up, manumans,’ said Acer. ‘Not a noisound, not a whelper, or I’ll scrunch all of you.’
‘Ow,’ yelped Callum on the other side of the hall, withdrawing his hand from the silver case.
‘Be patient, boy,’ said Vainclaw. ‘The hour is almost up.’
‘Callum is tired of waiting,’ replied Callum.
‘Don’t you think your fellow Kinghorns deserve to know who they’ll be murdering with this human weapon?’ muttered Dirk.
Vainclaw lowered his head and peered into his eyes. ‘They know that they are furthering the Kinghorn cause. That’s enough for my loyal followers.’
‘Yes,’ said Betula. ‘We are not traitors to our species, like you.’
‘Then why are you helping him slay dragons?’ said Dirk.
‘What’s he talking about?’ asked Buxus.
‘Do you want to tell them or shall I?’ he continued.
‘We are only killing those who stand in our way,’ replied Vainclaw calmly.
‘You mean the manumans?’ said Buxus.
‘Humans will die, don’t worry about that, Buxus,’ said Vainclaw.
‘That might be true, but they’re not the target, are they?’ said Dirk.
‘Shall I kill him?’ said Betula.
‘No, I’ve heard lots about this Dirk Dilly, the dragon detective. I want to see how good a detective he really is.’
Betula eased her foot off a little, allowing Dirk to talk more easily.
‘I was just lying here quietly bleeding to myself, trying to see the bigger picture, when everything came together: the professor, the boy, the weapon, the Shade-Hugger’s claw, the Scavengers, and these charming Tree Dragons. The whole thing.’
‘Go on,’ said Vainclaw.
Dirk continued. ‘Last year you ordered the kidnap of this poor defenceless child. These vicious Tree Dragons took the boy and scared him out of his wits.’
‘That’s not true,’ said Callum. ‘Mr Grandin saved me from the tree creatures.’
‘That’s what he made you think,’ continued Dirk, looking at Vainclaw. ‘You came to his rescue and promised to protect him if he agreed to work for you. You released him, but stayed in contact. With the doctors assuring him that you were a figment of his imagination, he no longer knew the difference between real and unreal. You had him working for you, rifling through his father’s work? That’s how you came to hear of the AOG Project.’
Vainclaw nodded. ‘Very good, Mr Dilly. Most of the documents were boring or inconsequential things about hospitals and schools, but yes, he did manage to uncover some rather interesting items on weaponry.’
‘You discovered that one of the top scientists working on the AOG project had a rather interesting weakness, an obsession with dragon mythology. You persuaded that snivelling Shade-Hugger, Grendel, to donate a claw as a bribe to the professor. But why install the Scavenger Leon as Captain of Dragnet?’
‘Where’s Holly?’ said Callum, realising that she was no longer lying next to Dirk.
‘Never mind the girl,’ snapped Vainclaw. ‘She’s probably crawled off to die in some corner. ‘Continue, detective. You really are quite good, aren’t you?’
‘In order to win a war against humans, you need an army. But the councillors would never allow that. They’d send the Dragnet to arrest you. The trials were just an excuse to keep the councillors chained in Euphorbia Falls, while you got the Prime Minister where you could manipulate him into operating the machine. As soon as that machine resets itself, you’ll wipe out Euphorbia Falls, the Council and the whole of the Dragnet. You’ll become the most famous dragon murderer since Saint George himself.’
Vainclaw opened his mouth and flames shot out, scorching Dirk’s face and catching Betula’s foot, causing her to scream and hiss in pain.
‘Never mention that name in front of me,’ Vainclaw shouted. ‘I can see that watching all those late-night human detective shows has paid off, but you’re wrong. I won’t be famous at all. Earthquakes are natural disasters. It will look like an accident. In a couple of minutes the machine will work again, the Prime Minister will oblige us with his hand, and we will destroy Euphorbia Falls and half of Europe with it. And without the Council or the Dragnet to stop me, I will gather my army and begin the ultimate war against humanity.’
‘It won’t work. Your Scavengers revealed themselves as Kinghorns. The prisoners have been released. It won’t take them long to find you.’
‘It will take the Council weeks to get out of those chains,’ said Vainclaw. ‘They’re as good as dead already. Soon all shall follow me.’
‘What’s that noise?’ said Acer.
Someone was banging on the door.
‘This is Officer Balti Grunling of Dragnet. We have reason to believe there is illegal Kinghorn activity within this building.’ The amplified voice came from outside. ‘Come out with your claws down and your mouths shut.’
‘Impossible,’ said Vainclaw. ‘It is against Dragnet procedure to come this close to a human settlement.’
‘Not when you’ve been illegally using Dragonsong,’ said Dirk.
Acer, Tilia and Salix were backing away from the door.
‘What’s going on?’ said Tilia, who had been too far away to hear Dirk’s speech.
‘He’s using the manuman weapon to murder dragons,’ said Betula.
‘He wants to schmunch the Council,’ said Buxus.
‘That’s not what I signed up for,’ said Acer. ‘I thought we were killing manumans.’
‘You stupid Bark-backs,’ snarled Vainclaw. ‘Hold your ground.’
‘I can’t go to prison,’ said Salix. ‘I’m only nine hundred and twenty-five. I’ve got my whole life ahead of me.’
‘Never mind prison,’ replied Buxus. ‘We’ll be banished to the Inner Core for this.’
‘It’s his fault,’ snarled Betula, looking at Vainclaw.
‘He fablifised to us,’ added Tilia.
The banging came again. ‘I repeat, this is Officer Balti Grunling, open the door in the name of the Dragnet. You are all under arrest. Do not try to use Dragonsong. We are equipped with ear mufflers.’
‘Once they get through that door, we’ll all be cuffed. There’s no escapalading the Dragnet,’ said Tilia.
‘There’s a back door,’ said Buxus. ‘Come on, bark sisters, let’s go.’
Forgetting about Dirk, Betula and Buxus led the other three towards the door by the stage, but Vainclaw flew over them, blocking the way with his wings. Dirk noticed his right wing was half the size of his left, torn and frayed at the edge.
‘Kinghorns, stop,’ demanded Vainclaw, ‘I command you to stop.’
‘Get out of the way, boss,’ said Betula.
‘It’s every dragon for herself,’ added Acer.
‘You are Kinghorns. I am your master,’ said Vainclaw, but all five Tree Dragons were now approaching him, heads lowered, not in deference, but in preparation for attack.
Acer pounced, sinking her teeth into Vainclaw’s leg. The others attacked, snapping and scratching and biting.
‘Get off me,’ growled Vainclaw.
‘We’ll release you when you get out of our way,’ replied Betula.
‘Hurts doesn’t it,’ said Dirk, standing up, glad not to be on the receiving end for a change.
Vainclaw kicked and fought, smoke pouring out of his nose like he was on fire, but each time he forced one to let go another attached herself to his limbs. He turned to Dirk.
‘This is just the beginning, Mr Dilly,’ he said. ‘The Kinghorns will unite and the war will begin and we will win, and if you don’t join us you will die.’
With these final words, a great red flame burst from his mouth, scorching the Tree Dragons and forcing them to let go. Vainclaw turned and fled, followed closely by the five Tree Dragons.
‘No, don�
��t leave Callum again,’ whined Callum, collapsing on to the floor and wailing like a wounded animal. Dirk walked over to the stage and reached a paw out to touch the silver case. No shock. The hour was up. The machine had reset itself. He grabbed the handle in his mouth and carried it up the aisle.
‘Stay away from us, you monster,’ said the principal fearfully.
‘What have you done with my daughter?’ demanded Mr Bigsby.
Dirk recognised him as the politician from the TV interview he had watched. He placed the case by his feet. ‘You work for the Ministry of Defence, don’t you? I believe this belongs to you.’
Mr Bigsby took the case. ‘The QC3000? How did this get here?’
‘It’s a long story. Now, your daughter …’
Dirk walked to the end of the hall and opened the door to the red carpet. For a moment no one moved, then Holly jumped from behind a photographer, smiling. Her leg was completely healed over.
‘Did it work?’ she asked.
‘Like a dream,’ he said. ‘They bought it. How did you do that voice?’
‘I got help,’ she replied, and Dirk saw over her shoulder a man holding a wide-brimmed hat slip into a grey Mercedes with a white stripe, and drive away.
He stretched out a paw and shook Holly’s hand. ‘Good work, partner.’
‘You too, partner,’ she replied, beaming at him.
‘Holly?’ said Mr Bigsby.
‘Dad,’ she shouted, letting go of Dirk’s paw and running into her father’s arms. He lifted her up and kissed her on the cheek and Holly didn’t even mind when his wife joined in the hug.
Humans were a funny species, thought Dirk. They were responsible for lots of good things, like TV and orange squash and tinned baked beans, and lots of bad things, like guns and bombs and irritating polyphonic mobile phone rings. Watching Holly and her parents reunited in a tearful hug, Dirk thought that maybe family was one of the good things.
On the other side of the hall Petal’s mother was clicking her fingers in front of her daughter’s face, saying, ‘Petal? Petal, darling? What’s wrong with her?’
Principal Palmer was walking around the hall inspecting all of the stunned audience members. ‘What’s wrong with all of them?’
‘Please don’t worry,’ said Dirk, picking up the microphone and switching it back on at the wall. ‘I will explain everything in a minute.’ His voice resounded through the hall and out into the car park. ‘But first I think it’s time for me to sing a little song. A-one, a-two, a-one, two, three, four …’
Chapter Twenty-Six
Lying beside Dirk, in the shadow of the Tree Dragon, with blood gushing from her leg, Holly had thought she was going to die and, as she drifted in and out of consciousness, she realised that if she went now, she would die without ever having known her father. They had drifted apart since her mother’s death and she supposed, in the back of her mind, she always thought they would drift back together. Now, it was too late. With this thought she had fallen asleep.
Holly. Wake up.
Holly was awoken by Dirk’s thoughts, speaking inside her head.
I’m thinking to you, like the councillors did. Stay absolutely still and listen. Blending isn’t the only dragon skill you have picked up. You skin has healed over during your sleep.
Holly reached down and touched her leg. It was covered in dry blood, but the cut had gone and it no longer hurt.
There isn’t much time. The hour is almost up. Soon the machine will reset itself. You need to escape through the back door, see if you can get as far as the stage, then I’ll draw their attention.
Dirk told her what to do once she was out of the building and Holly wriggled along the floor, stopping and blending every few seconds to avoid detection. Ever so gradually, keeping her movements small, she reached the stage.
‘Don’t you think your fellow Kinghorns deserve to know who they’ll be murdering with this human weapon?’ she heard Dirk say as she slipped through the backstage door and ran across the room, jumping over the instrument cases to reach the back door. She carefully avoided banging into the policeman standing outside the door. He was as still as a mannequin. She found another policeman with a loudhailer and carefully prized it out of his hand.
Dirk had told her to pretend to be the Dragnet, coming to arrest the Kinghorns. He was banking on the cowardly Tree Dragons running away rather than facing arrest but, as she got nearer to the red carpet, she began to worry that they would recognise her voice. After all, it wasn’t just Vainclaw and the Tree Dragons. Callum was in there too.
By the side of the building she saw a familiar figure, standing motionless and hatless in his long overcoat.
Ladbroke Blake.
She slapped him hard in the face.
‘What the …’ he began, instinctively grabbing her wrist.
‘Shh.’ She placed her fingers to his lips. ‘It’s me, Holly.’
‘What’s going on?’ said Ladbroke. ‘What was that music?’
‘It’s difficult to explain.’
‘More dragon business?’
Holly nodded and handed him the loudhailer. ‘I need a favour,’ she said and told him what to say.
‘Balti Grunling?’ said Ladbroke disbelievingly. ‘Funny sort of name.’
‘Look who’s talking,’ replied Holly, leading him to the door.
Ladbroke wrapped his knuckles on the door and made the announcement, as Holly had told him.
‘This is Officer Balti Grunling of Dragnet. We have reason to believe there is illegal Kinghorn activity within this building. Come out with your claws down and your mouths shut.’
Both of them dived back into the crowd and froze in case the Kinghorns called their bluff and opened the door.
After the second announcement the door did eventually open, and Ladbroke saw the familiar figure of Dirk Dilly appear, so he slipped away, picking his hat up off the ground, noticing that two holes had been punched in the wide brim.
What has that dragon got against my hat? he wondered as he drove away.
Holly was relieved to see Dirk was OK, but there was someone she needed to see more. She found her dad and threw her arms around him. He picked her up and kissed her cheek.
‘Dad,’ she said. ‘Are you all right?’
‘I thought I’d lost you.’
‘What’s happening?’ asked his wife. ‘We thought that monster had killed you.’
‘I’m all right,’ she said to both of them. ‘I’ve missed you.’
Dirk said something into the microphone.
‘I miss you too,’ said her dad.
His big-haired wife looked at Dirk and said, ‘Is that thing your friend?’
‘He’s not a thing. He’s a red-backed, green-bellied, urban-based Mountain Dragon and, yes, he’s my friend.’
Mr Bigsby looked back at his daughter and said, ‘You can come home if you want. We’ll find a school nearby, a good one, one you don’t have to run away from all the time.’
Dirk’s voice filled the hall, saying, ‘But first I think it’s time for me to sing a little song.’
‘I’d like that,’ said Holly, tears in her eyes.
‘A-one, a-two, a-one, two, three, four …’
Holly hugged her parents, and they all listened to the beautiful music which filled the air and entered their souls, the melodies and rhythms becoming part of them, like they were coming from within.
‘Ow,’ said Holly, holding her cheek. ‘That really hurt.’
‘I told you. It’s the best way out of the trance.’
‘I just think you could do it a little gentler when it’s me, that’s all.’
Holly looked at her dad and his wife, hugging each other, a space between them where she had been.
‘You’re going to make them forget all this, aren’t you?’ she said.
‘I’m sorry, Holly. I have to. You know what would happen.’
‘Yes,’ she said sadly. ‘What now?’
‘Everyone’s back in the tr
ance and it’s my voice they’ve heard first this time,’ said Dirk.
‘Isn’t there a danger they’ll remember something?’ asked Holly, thinking about her dad.
‘They shouldn’t but if they do get the occasional flashback, it’ll seem so improbable that they’ll think they’re remembering some movie they’ve seen or a book they’ve read.’
She saw Callum crouching down by the stage, wearing the same faraway look in his eyes as everyone else. ‘What about him?’
‘I don’t know,’ said Dirk. ‘For everyone else this is just one memory. It shouldn’t be difficult to erase it, but Callum’s had a long time living in fear. He’s internalised the dragons that haunt him. Listen.’ Dirk turned to the boy. ‘Callum, there are no such things as dragons.’
‘I know, they’re in my head,’ replied Callum. ‘They’re all in my head.’
Dirk turned back to Holly. ‘Dragonsong is powerful but one song can’t undo all that torment. It seems that Vainclaw has been in communication with him since the kidnapping, grooming him to work for the Kinghorns.’
‘But what if Vainclaw tries to use him again?’
‘We can only hope he doesn’t think it’s worth the risk.’
Dirk held the microphone to his mouth and instructed Principal Palmer, Petal’s mother, the Prime Minister, and Holly’s dad and his wife to take their seats. They did so unquestioningly. He told Callum to take his place in the band with his French horn, and Petal to go backstage.
Then he addressed the front row, saying, ‘When you awake none of you will remember anything about dragons. Dragons are no more than myths, stories to tell kids. Mr Bigsby, you will take the QC3000 back to the Ministry, saying you recovered it by chance and recommending a review into the security procedures which allowed something so important to go missing. Prime Minister Thackley, you will call an end to the AOG project. The world has enough natural disasters without adding our own.’
Holly whispered something in Dirk’s ear and he addressed the entire audience. ‘All any of you will remember when you wake up is that this was the best school concert ever. Every performance was brilliant, including a solo by Callum Thackley and a great number from Petal Moses. The band played beautifully and it was one of the best nights of your life.’ Dirk switched off the microphone and said, ‘Now, let’s get rid of the evidence.’
The Case of the Wayward Professor Page 13
