Zach frowned, nodding and looking down at my ankle again, adjusting the cold compress probably just for something to do. “Yeah. He killed himself a couple of years ago,” he confirmed. Inwardly I groaned at that information, overcome by a wave of compassion. “My mom didn’t cope too well when he died, so she turned to drink. I guess me being trouble all the time made that worse too. When I was seventeen she told me to leave. I was still going through a bad phase then, but Olivia took me in and saw something in me that no one else saw. I owe her a lot.”
All of these revelations made me understand Zach and his attitude just that little bit more. His condition and his parents abandoning him one way or another was probably the reason that he put on that cocky, rude act in a bid to try and keep everyone else away from him. Maybe it was why he’d once told me that he didn’t date. The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them.
“Is that why you said that you wouldn’t want a girl to fall in love with you?” I asked.
His eyes flicked up to meet mine, a bewildered, shocked expression on his face as if he hadn’t expected me to remember that he’d said that once when we were sat in my bedroom. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, I wouldn’t want to inflict this disease on someone else. My mom went through hell every time my dad refused to take his tablets and stuff. I saw what it did to her when he’d lose his job all the time because he’d lashed out at his co-workers or just didn’t show up because he’d forgotten or gotten distracted. He sank into depression and dragged her down with him too. And then he left her in the end, left her with a kid that he’d infected with the same poison.” His hand tightened into a fist on the table as he looked out of the café window. “It’s best if I just stay single, that way I won’t put anyone through what my mom went through. Plus, the genetic line will end with me then. No baby Anderson’s to fuck up anyone else’s lives then.”
I watched him, shocked by the passion that went into his words. He truly meant it. “So you’ll never date a girl, ever?” I clarified.
He shook his head, adjusting the towel on my ankle again. “Nope.”
“Have you ever dated?” I asked, suddenly wondering now about his past. Was that why he was so embarrassed when I joked about him touching my ass outside earlier? He shook his head, frowning down at his hands as his finger started tracing a pattern on my shin again. “Wow. I think that’s…” I struggled for the right word to finish that sentence.
“Honourable?” he offered, looking up at me then.
I shook my head. “No, not honourable,” I disagreed. “Freaking stupid!” I finished, frowning at him.
His mouth popped open in shock, his hand stilled on my leg. “Stupid? How is that stupid?”
I made a scoffing noise and waved my hand at him in example. “Look at you,” I cried.
He rolled his eyes. “Because of the way I look I should date people? I’m depriving the girls of my six pack, is that what you’re getting at?” he asked angrily.
“It has nothing to do with what you look like. It’s how you behave. Look at yourself right now, Zach,” I instructed, shaking my head and pointing at my ankle. “You’ve been taking care of me for the last ten minutes. You’re worried about me. You’re kind, thoughtful and generous. You’re funny, smart, loyal and considerate. Surely you can see what a special person you are. Why do you have such a negative image of yourself?” I asked. As I spoke his expression was turning more and more bewildered, as if he’d never had anyone see good in him before.
“I’ve seen what it does to someone when episodes of ADHD start. You think I’m all great now, but that’s because I’m on the tablets. What happens if one day I start acting like him and think I don’t need them? What if I fall back in with that bad crowd? What if I turn out to be exactly like him?” he countered, shaking his head angrily.
“But what if you don’t?” I argued.
He didn’t have any words for that. His mouth opened and then snapped shut again as his eyes locked onto mine. There was a fierce intensity there. I had a feeling that no one had ever challenged his idea of the disease before.
I carried on challenging his ideals. “What if you continue to work hard on your parkour and become an awesome traceur that kids look up to and have posters of on their walls? What if you never stop taking your tablets and never stop being this kind person that you always are to me? Some girl would fall madly in love with you and you could make her happy for the rest of her life. You don’t deserve to shut yourself off from things, Zach. You deserve to be happy too. Just because you have ADHD doesn’t mean that you can’t live your life and be happy. And some girl deserves to have you treat her like a princess every day, just like you always do me. So get over it and this negative image you have of yourself.”
He swallowed loudly, looking away from me as his fingers started the pattern again on my leg. “I don’t treat you like a princess,” he muttered after a minute of awkward silence. His words were barely discernible, but I made them out somehow.
“All girls wish for a guy that is interested in what they have to say, that thinks they’re funny and appreciates the small things that they do. They want a guy to give them their jacket because it’s cold, and someone that looks out for them and worries about their safety. That’s what I class being treated like a princess. Girls like that stuff. You don’t do that for me?” I asked, wrapping the string of his hoodie around my finger and raising one eyebrow challengingly.
He frowned, digesting my words. Finally, he spoke, and a small smirk slipped onto his face. “I’m only interested in what you have to say because you’re helping me graduate.”
I smiled knowingly. He was a nice guy; he just wasn’t ready to admit it yet. I turned my head, looking out of the window of the café. “Whatever you say, Zachary.”
From the corner of my eye I saw him watching me. A smile played at the edge of his mouth. We were silent then for a few minutes, and then a car skidded to a halt outside the café, two doors slammed and I closed my eyes, knowing I was about to get it in the neck from both of the Preston men. I tried to mentally prepare myself for the long, sleepless night ahead.
Chapter 25
To say that I was in trouble for stopping at the video store would be an understatement. I not only got it in the neck from my dad and brother, but also from Luke. By the time I’d gotten home from the café that I went to with Zach, my ears were hurting probably more than my ankle form the verbal bashing my dad gave me all the way home.
We’d called the police again and done a report over the phone. They’d told me not to delete the messages and that they’d lift them off of my phone the following day. I’d assured my dad that my ankle was fine and that all I needed was rest. Zach had backed me up on that front, telling my dad that it was a sprain and that I should just take it easy and keep an eye on it to make the swelling didn’t get worse.
I had barely slept that night. Once I was alone in my bedroom, my mind wandered to the fact that someone had followed me from my house and to the rental store. They must have been camped outside my house somewhere, hidden in the shadows, watching and waiting. When my dad had gone to bed that night, an eerie silence crept over the house which made my stomach ache. With the house so quiet it seemed to magnify the sounds of everything else outside. The trees rustling in the wind, a cat meowing, a car driving up the street, all of it was somehow now frightening as I imagined the guy out there in the street, watching the house and just waiting for me to leave on my own again. That wouldn’t be happening though. Not only had my dad strictly forbidden me to be so stupid again, I actually didn’t want to go out alone again.
I hadn’t been able to get myself warm for hours, no matter how many sheets and blankets I piled up on top of myself. Loneliness and fear had kept me awake until the early hours of the morning. I longed for Luke. I longed for his arms and his smell and his warmth. By the time morning came around I gave up trying to put on a brave face and just called him, asking him if he’d come over and hang out for a few
hours.
Once he’d finished giving me the lecture about how silly it was that I’d gone out on my own when anything could have happened, Luke and I spent all day up in my room watching the movies that he’d brought around with him. It was nice, and just like the old Saturdays before we’d broken up. A couple of times I’d even completely forgotten that we’d broken up and cuddled up against him, enjoying his comfort and the safety that he emitted.
He came over again on Sunday, but that wasn’t as easy as the day before, because Zach turned up unannounced while he was there. He’d come to see how I was and if I needed anything. Luke had sat there with a scowl on his face, obviously biting his tongue so he didn’t say anything about it. I appreciated that he was working hard on not being jealous, though I could still see it in his posture for the ten minutes that Zach had sat on the edge of my bed for. It was kind of a relief when he left if I was honest.
By the time Monday came around my ankle was a lot better and I could walk on it for a short time before it started to ache again. Luke begged me to let him pick me up for school, and since I’d leant on him all weekend I couldn’t really refuse. It was so weird seeing his little sports car parked in my driveway when he came to collect me.
I frowned at it distastefully. The last time I’d been in that car was when I was speeding it away from Ricky’s party after I’d caught Luke cheating. Luke seemed to be driving his Jeep more lately. In a way I kind of wished he’d brought the other one today, I didn’t really need more to deal with on top of the memories of him with someone else.
“Morning, baby,” he chirped, jogging up to meet me as I hobbled up the path.
“Hey,” I greeted, handing him my bag because I knew he’d take it off my shoulder anyway. He smiled, looping his arm around my waist and helping me to the passenger side of the car.
“I brought this one so you don’t have to stretch to climb in. I know you were a lot better yesterday but figured every little helps,” he explained, opening the door for me and looking down at my ankle worriedly.
Oh. Well then I guess I can’t exactly complain if he’s actually put thought into bringing this car for me! That’s sweet. “Thanks, Luke.” I slid in, swinging my legs and smiling gratefully. I secured my seatbelt while he headed around to the driver’s side.
“So, how’d you sleep in the end?” he asked as he started the engine.
I smiled tiredly. I hadn’t slept well again last night, as he well knew because I’d called him up at midnight and asked him to talk to me a little until I fell asleep. Of course he’d offered to come over and keep me company, but I’d been strong and refused. Instead, I’d listened to him reading Jules Verne down the phone to me for an hour before my eyelids had started getting heavy.
“Fine,” I lied. I couldn’t tell him the truth that my dreams last night had been filled with faceless people chasing me with a bloodied knife while I ran and ran but never seemed to get anywhere. “Thank you for last night.”
He reached out, tugging on the end of my ponytail playfully. “Anytime.”
By the time we got to school, Charlotte and Beth were waiting for me in the parking lot and skipped over to the car, wrenching open the car door before Luke even got the parking brake on. “Are you okay?” Beth asked worriedly.
I nodded in confirmation. I’d spoken to them both over the weekend and explained everything. Charlotte already knew that something had happened because my brother had called her Friday night and told her that I wasn’t going to make it to hers. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I answered, swinging my legs out of the car and gripping the door frame, awkwardly pulling myself up to standing.
Charlotte gripped my elbow, steadying me as I wobbled a little. “What did the police say about it? Did they do anything? Arrest anyone? Was there CCTV on the street? You said the guy said he could see you, well if he could then maybe he was caught on CCTV or something,” she suggested, raising one eyebrow hopefully.
I shrugged. “They were going to look into it. To be honest, Char, they don’t tell me much about it. I hate not knowing, I just wish they had some idea of who’s doing it.”
I looked around the parking lot as I closed the car door. Last time I came here in the morning, the parking lot was full of grieving students, now the place was just as normal. You wouldn’t think that anything untoward had happened at all judging by the people standing around chatting about their weekends and exchanging stories. It was like Sandy hadn’t even existed. The cheerleaders were all sitting around, giggling and flirting with the football team, applying make-up and fluffing their hair. As I stood there I had a strong feeling of being out of place because nothing was normal in my life at the moment, and I wasn’t sure it ever would be again.
Charlotte looped her arm through mine, waving her hand dismissively at Luke who stepped to my side to help me. “I’ve got her now,” she stated smugly. It was very apparent that Charlotte still hadn’t forgiven Luke for his indiscretion. Luke frowned but nodded, falling into step behind us. I smiled at him apologetically and got a beautiful smile in return which made my heart pick up double time.
“What about the phone that you keep getting the calls and texts from, can’t they trace that?” Charlotte asked, her voice showing her frustration.
I shook my head, wincing as we started to make our way slowly up the steps at the front of the school. “Don’t think so. DI Neeson said that the phone isn’t on contract and is always turned off. Don’t think they can do much with it,” I admitted. She pursed her lips as her eyes flashed with something that made me a little nervous. She only ever got that glint when she was up to no good, or planning to be up to no good at least. “What are you looking like that for? What are you scheming?” I asked, cringing.
She raised one eyebrow, faking innocence. “Me? Absolutely nothing. I definitely wasn’t thinking that I could hack into your phone company and find the number of the person that’s been calling you,” she said, shaking her head but grinning at the same time.
I groaned. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I protested weakly.
She pulled me to a stop, looking at me intently as she leant in conspiratorially. “I could get the number, and you could have Alex or Luke send it a butt load of angry messages and stuff telling them to leave you alone or else,” she countered.
I shook my head forcefully. “Just let the police handle it. Don’t get involved. You could end up causing more trouble or something,” I warned. “If this is the same person that killed Sandy then I don’t want Alex or Luke getting themselves involved with anything. It could make matters worse. Just let the police do their jobs,” I said the words firmly, looking her right in the eyes so she knew I was serious.
She sighed dejectedly, letting her shoulders slump. “Fine. I’ll stay out of it,” she grumbled.
I smiled gratefully, giving her arm a little squeeze. “Thank you for the offer though.”
Her face brightened, some of the defeated expression disappeared. “I’m always available if you change your mind.”
When the bell sounded overhead they both disappeared off to their respective classes, leaving me with Luke who walked me to my first period and kissed my forehead gently at the door. “I’ll see you at lunch?” he questioned. I nodded in agreement. “Call me if you need me.”
“I will. Thanks.” That statement was true. Luke always seemed to be the first one I called on for help and the first one that sprang to mind when I needed a shoulder to lean on. As he jogged off up the hallway, I turned and limped to my desk, plopping down and pulling out my books that I’d need.
A chair scraped beside me so I looked up to see a girl from my class sitting herself down next to me. She smiled at me happily as she dropped her bag onto the desk. I tried not to react to the fact that this girl had never once sat next to me or attempted to talk to me before today. She was one of the mid-popular girls from our year, but she was well known for being the gossip queen. She even wrote a gossip type column in our school paper.
> “Hi. How are you?” she chirped, turning in her seat and beaming at me.
My mouth popped open, but nothing came out. I flicked my eyes to the front of the classroom, seeing that the teacher hadn’t arrived yet. “Um… I’m fine thanks,” I muttered awkwardly, picking up my notebook and thumbing through the pages just for a distraction. The way she was looking at me so intently made me shift in my seat self-consciously.
She propped her chin on her hand and leant in closer to me, smiling as if we’d been best friends all our lives and were swapping intimate secrets. “So, what was Zach Anderson arrested for on Thursday? Neither of you were in on Friday. Everyone was going crazy. Was he arrested for Sandy’s murder? Did he get charged? Is he in jail right now?” she asked, looking at me with wide, excited eyes.
I narrowed my eyes angrily. So that’s what she’s sitting there for? Gossip! “Look, just go away. Zach didn’t do anything wrong so just stop all this gossipy talk,” I scolded.
She seemed a little taken aback by my outburst as she pushed her glasses up her nose. “Well everyone was only wondering because of what happened with him and Sandy on Wednesday when you were fighting. That would explain his reason for killing her. To, you know, keep her quiet,” she muttered, nodding along with herself as she spoke.
I frowned, confused. “What do you mean by that?”
She sighed, rolling her eyes as if I was asking something stupid. “Sandy said she knew stuff about him from his other school, stuff that he wouldn’t want common knowledge. He killed her to keep his secrets safe.” Her voice was so matter-of-fact, so preachy, that I stared at her in disbelief.
How can one person be so deluded? What is wrong with society today? “Seriously? Zach didn’t kill Sandy! Jeez, you lot that stand there gossiping are pathetic. Let the police do their jobs and leave innocent people alone. Last Thursday morning people were looking at me like I’d done it because of what I said to her. Just get your facts straight before you go around accusing innocent people, you can ruin lives that way you know,” I snapped. “And you can quote me on that if you want,” I added acidly. I shouldered my bag, deliberately swinging it so that it bumped her as I stood up. I grabbed the couple of books that I’d already gotten out and moved to a spare desk that was off to the side. I kept my head held high, refusing to look in her direction as I sat down and slammed my bag onto the table noisily.
Free Falling Page 30
