“A bedpan, Marty? Really?” Dale laughed.
“Well, I was pinching one off when I heard the guy walking this way and I didn’t have time to grab anything else.” He kicked at the bits of bedpan.
Dale and Bum quickly wrapped up the unconscious assailant in Benny’s bed sheet and then wrapped the cords from the window curtains around him to keep him subdued. The man was chubby and obviously not a trained assassin. His clumsy footsteps that Marty, Dale, and Bum had heard from their rooms were evidence of that. Benny slowly aroused and noticed the three working on securing the man.
“What…” Benny rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.
“Have a nice nap, princess?” Dale asked.
“What happened? Last thing I remember I was drinking that tea…” Benny had a headache.
“I overheard this fella bribing the bartender to slip some sleeping potion into your drink so he could kill you during the night. I told Dale about it, and was gonna tell you but he said not to.” Marty shrugged.
“You what?” Benny became angry. “I could’ve been killed and you just let me walk right into it?”
“Hold your horses, boy!” Dale’s face was stern, and Benny knew not to argue with Dale in this state.
“Dale was teaching you a lesson, Ben. You always need to be aware of what's going on around you. I overheard this oaf bribing the bartender and even saw the bartender put the potion in your drink, and I wasn’t even standing near him. I made a similar mistake a while back…was partying in a tavern like this, and the next thing I knew, my earlobes were nailed to a tree in a goblin camp. Needless to say, I ripped myself off the tree and escaped, but I wouldn’t have had to if I had been paying attention.” Marty sat down next to Benny.
“I thought it was a bit strange how the bartender kept insisting I try the mint tea,” Benny said.
“That’s because the potion he used is less noticeable in that tea,” Bum said.
“You’ve got to pay more attention, Benny,” Dale said.
Just then the man began to stir, and then when he realized he was tied up and surrounded by three menacing warriors he began to plead for his life.
“Please don’t kill me! Somebody hired me to do it…I needed the money for my family.” The man’s chubby face began to sweat.
“Who hired you, and why?” Dale asked.
“I don’t know his name, but he was with a group of Kudgels. He wore a red hoodie over his face.”
“Flack!” Benny yelled.
“Maybe, I dunno. Anyway, he told me the target was a man with a scarred face. I saw the boy’s mouth and assumed it was him. Flack told me to slip some sleeping potion into his drink, break into his room and kill him in his sleep. I paid the bartender to slip in the potion, which the hooded man gave me. He even gave me an enchanted lock pick so I wouldn’t fail. I’m sorry! My family is on the brink of starvation and he paid me almost fifteen pieces of silver to do it.” The man wiggled with all his might but couldn’t get loose.
“That was smart of Flack, hiring this drunkard to do his dirty work,” Bum said.
“I ain’t no drunk!” the assassin protested.
“Your eyes are bloodshot and your face is red as a beet…besides, I’ve seen you in the tavern loads of times drinking. Don’t give me your sob story.” Marty kicked the man in the gut and grabbed the knife the man would have used to kill Benny.
“No, Marty,” Dale said. “This guy is a piece of crap, but so were we, once upon a time.” Marty dropped the knife, and seemed to agree with Dale’s logic.
“There was a time when all three of us did things like what you attempted,” Bum motioned to himself, Marty and Dale, “and while we were quite a bit better at it than you, we were all given a chance to turn our lives around. I doubt you’ll see the error of your ways, like we did, but perhaps this instance will scare you from attempting murder again.”
“I’ll leave and never come back!” The man squirmed and kicked frantically. Dale untied him and Marty grabbed him in a headlock, dragging him out of the inn and out into the night.
“Why would Flack want to kill me?” Benny asked.
“I don’t think he meant to kill you,” Dale said. He raised his hands to his fake face, which he had put back on after meeting Marty upon entering the tavern.
“That face of yours is a charm.” Bum laughed. “You’re right, Dale. You didn’t have that face off long enough for that fat retard to notice, and he obviously assumed Benny was the ‘scarred man’ Flack told him to kill. That was a mistake on Flack’s part…he should’ve been more specific.”
“I’m sorry, Dale. I won’t make the same mistake again,” Benny said. Dale winked at him and playfully punched Benny on the shoulder.
“Don’t apologize to me. You’re the one who’ll wind up dead.” Dale laughed.
Benny could tell Dale’s sarcasm was half-hearted, and that Dale had only been angry before because he cared about Benny, and didn’t want him doing something to get himself killed. Benny was actually moved by it.
Benny, Dale, and Bum cleaned up the glass and human excrement that had scattered everywhere when Marty broke the bedpan over the assassin’s head. Marty returned and told them that he had alerted the boss about what happened and that the bartender was kicked out of the town too. Relieved to finally sleep in peace, Benny dozed off, and Marty stayed with him just in case Flack had hired any more of the village idiots to knock off the ‘scarred man.’
Chapter 8
In the morning they got up, cleaned up, bid farewell to Bum and Marty, and went to find Virtue. The moment she saw Benny she read his mind and picked up on the mischief he had suffered after they separated. “I think it is not safe for me to leave you to your own devices,” she said. “I had better stay with you after this.”
“Please do!” Benny said, kissing her. He knew that she would have been able to shore him up against the sleeping potion. Apart from that, he hated ever being apart from her.
They walked into the inner structure of Bluecorn Castle, a solid stone edifice with an impressive tower in its center that reached up into a cloud that obscured its top. A guard at the entry halted them. “Who are you and what do you want?” he demanded.
“We are here to use the portal,” Dale said gruffly. “Siegfried's Belltower.”
“It's not open to trespassers.”
Dale put his hand on his sword, but Virtue interceded. “We are travelers on legitimate business. I am sure you understand.” She kissed him on the cheek.
The guard was evidently stunned by the gesture. “Oh. Of course. Pass on through.”
“There's nothing like the kiss of a fair lady to melt a man's resistance,” Dale remarked as they entered the castle. “You bit him, of course?”
“Oh, you caught me,” Virtue confessed. “It was just a little nick to make him amenable.”
“She could have done it with just the kiss, if necessary,” Benny said. “I am putty when she kisses me.”
“You're putty anyway,” Dale said. “We're trying to cure you of that.”
They entered the tower, which was marked TO SIEGFRIED'S BELL. It looked empty, but Dale led the way confidently up the winding stairway to the top, shrouded in mist. As they came to the upper landing a small dwarf appeared. He had purple hair and beard. “Halt!” the dwarf said in a surprisingly loud voice. “This is a private nation.”
“We are here to use the portal,” Dale repeated. “That is a public access facility, is it not?”
“That depends,” the dwarf said belligerently.
Dale touched his sword warningly, as he had before, but Virtue interceded again. “Please,” she said beseechingly, and kissed him on the cheek.
The dwarf seemed about to faint, but Virtue steadied him with a hand to his shoulder. “I knew a handsome man like you would be reasonable.”
“Did you bite me?” the dwarf demanded.
“I did,” Virtue said. “I apologize. It was a token. I did you no harm.”
“Yo
u put me in heaven for a moment. I've never been touched by a woman, or kissed by one, let alone a lovely creature like you. I wish you'd spend a night in my bed, naked, and bite me all you wanted, as long as I could clasp you.”
Benny winced. Had Virtue gone too far this time? The dwarf's sullenness had been replaced by crude passion.
Virtue smiled. “I'm married. My husband wouldn't understand.”
“They never do,” the dwarf agreed with resignation. “This way, please.”
Beyond the landing was the flat top of the tower roof, with the vapor of the cloud seeming like a surrounding landscape. A somewhat dilapidated house was there, as if the roof were the ground. From the center of the building rose the bell tower, supporting a monstrous blue bell.
“Master!” the dwarf called. “Company!”
A white-bearded man appeared, garbed in a tattered robe. He came across more like a sleepy old timer than anyone with the power of magic. Benny wondered if there really was a magic portal. “Did they pay for passage?”
“Not exactly.”
The Wizard frowned. “And you let them through?”
“I--” The dwarf seemed to run out of words.
“I kissed him,” Virtue said. “I will kiss you too, if that's what it takes to use the portal.”
“Ah, a vampire,” the Wizard said, as if that explained things. He eyed Virtue. “Poisoned by a villain. Pity; you're a pretty one.”
“You wouldn't happen to have a cure?” Benny asked with sudden irrational hope.
“Not my specialty,” the Wizard said. He glanced at Dale. “Good to see you again, friend. You brought the fee?”
“What fee, you old rogue?” Dale demanded.
“We rent this property from Bluecorn Betty. It was also a chore assembling the bits and pieces from ruined portals to cobble this one together. How do you think we gain the necessary coin?”
“I thought you conjured it,” Dale said.
“Not my specialty.”
“What's this about bits and pieces?” Dale demanded. “Isn't a portal a portal, that works or doesn't?”
“It still has to be maintained. We don't want it blowing people up if it doesn't work right.”
“Hardy. Har. Har,” Dale said. “Very funny. Open a window; I might even have to let out a laugh.”
The Wizard drew back, affrighted. “Anything but that! We're still trying to clear the stink of your last laugh.”
This had gone on far enough. “We have coin,” Benny said.
Dale silenced him with a gesture. “What are you angling for, you ancient reprobate?”
“Your vamp girl kisses well.”
Dale was firm. “You can't have her. Stick to your conjured nymphs.”
“They won't touch my servant, because of his hair.”
“Have you forgotten that you changed his hair when one of your spells went awry? It's your fault.”
The Wizard sighed. “Aye, and I have never found the counter-spell. I thought to give him one good night regardless.”
Benny and Virtue glared. “Not with her,” Dale said quickly.
The Wizard waggled a finger at him. “I know what vamps can do. Stay the night, and I will feed you well and invoke the portal for you in the morning.”
“We are in a hurry,” Dale said. “That's why we choose to use the portal.”
“Time can vary with the individual.”
Dale glanced at Virtue. “This seems like a good offer.”
“It will do,” Virtue said.
“Wait!” Benny cried. “She's not about to--”
Virtue put a soft hand on his arm. “Peace,” she murmured.
Benny shut up, though hardly at ease.
The Wizard ushered them into his abode. “Go to your bed,” he told the dwarf. “You will have company.”
The dwarf obediently went to the small bed nestled under a timber supporting the bell tower. Virtue went and knelt beside him. She leaned forward and gently bit him on the shoulder. The dwarf sank into sleep immediately, smiling.
“It's not that I don't trust you,” the Wizard said. “But let me verify before we address the portal.”
“As you please,” Dale said.
The Wizard gestured. A cloud formed beside the bed, pulsating with its own kind of life. It clarified, forming into a three dimensional picture. Within the picture the dwarf lay on his bed, while a figure strongly resembling Virtue was removing her clothing. Gloriously nude, she went to the bed and got under the blanket with the dwarf.
His eyes popped open, in the picture, though they remained closed in his real life. He reached out to embrace her. She smiled and kissed him on the mouth. Then they both disappeared under the blanket.
“How long will it last?” the Wizard asked the real Virtue.
“About six hours.”
“Good enough.” The Wizard clapped his hands and the vision disappeared. Only the sleeping dwarf remained, smiling broadly. “That's all night, for him.”
Now Benny understood. It was all the dwarf's dream, sponsored by Virtue's bite. He could have at her fantasy self for six hours, and wake at last with a phenomenal memory. The dream figure would surely oblige anything he could imagine. A unique payment for the use of the portal.
“Go up and sit in the clapper,” the Wizard told them. “I will ring the bell from here.” He put his hand on a stout rope that dangled down into the room. “Dismount after it clangs thrice. I will see you then.”
“Got it,” Dale said. “Thank you, Wiz.”
“You paid. Let's hope it really doesn't blow you up if it doesn't work right.” He smiled to show this was the joke repeated, though Benny wasn't much amused.
Dale glanced at Virtue. “I owe you one.”
“You will surely find a way.”
Dale believed in the power of the Wizard, and Virtue had faith. Benny was the odd one out.
They climbed the circular stairs. “I didn't know you could do that,” Benny told Virtue.
“It was my secret.”
He was amazed. “You mean sometimes, when I clasped you--”
“Sometimes the sickness held me, and I did not want to disappoint you.”
Benny thought back, trying to distinguish reality from dream, and found that he could not. She had always been there for him. How could he protest?
They came up under the giant bell. There was the clapper hanging in the center. It had seats for three, facing outward from the center.
Benny helped Virtue into one seat, then took one himself. Dale took the third. “Strap in,” Dale said. “It may get giddy.” He passed around a thick strap that circled them all at low chest height. Then he called down to the Wizard. “Ready!”
The rope attached to the tongue of the clapper drew tight. It drew them to one side, then the other, then back, causing them to swing more widely each time. Benny felt dizzy.
“Cover your ears,” Dale told them. They obliged.
Then the outer guard of the clapper struck the shell of the bell. Bong! The sound was painfully loud, possibly deafening if they had not kept their ears tightly covered. Bong! Bong!
Dale reached out and stopped the clapper from striking the bell again. They dismounted, and made their way down the stairs.
“Nothing has changed,” Benny said querulously.
“Oh, it has,” Dale said confidently.
Yet they were still in the creaky bell tower, not away to some distant land. What was the point?
Virtue squeezed his hand. She had more faith than he did.
The Wizard remained in the lower chamber. The dwarf still slept in his bed, smiling.
Benny opened his mouth, but Dale silenced him with firm pressure on his elbow. “Thank you, Wizard.”
“You're welcome, Dale. Come this way again when your mission is done.”
“We may,” Dale agreed. Then he opened the door, and they stepped out.
Now Benny opened his mouth again, ready to give Dale a huge piece of his mind. And paused, mouth open.
The town was gone. They faced a virtual paradise of green pastures and a beautiful forest of strange trees. The smell was different, and the temperature.
“I think we're not in Bluecorn Castle anymore,” Virtue whispered.
That was certainly true. They were in the fabled land of Upper Sultry.
Benny turned around to glance at the penthouse with its bell tower. He froze again. They were gone. There was only pristine field and forest there.
“You'll get used to it,” Dale said jovially. “It's the little details of magic that get to you, more than the magic itself.”
Benny wondered when he would ever get used to it. As a child he had seen mostly minor magic, not major magic like this.
A finely dressed human man strode from the lovely forest ahead of them. He was huge, over nine feet tall, but he did not look like the giants Benny had known.
“He's a native of Upper Sultry,” Dale explained. “They are not giants, technically, because they have a different muscle and bone structure. They are usually slimmer and not as strong as giants, though some can be just as tall.”
As the man approached closer, Benny saw that what he had taken for a suit of clothes was actually finely crafted armor that fit as well as a suit. This was a warrior.
“Hello, travelers!” the man called. “How may I help you?”
At least he was friendly. Benny had seen Dale take down a giant before, but he really didn't want any enemies of that stature.
“We are travelers from the country of Dan,” Dale replied. “We took the portal at Bluecorn Betty. We are here to attend the tournament at the Emperor's Palace. Can you point us in the right direction?”
“That way,” the man said, pointing. “A fifteen minute walk.” Then he reconsidered. “Make that half an hour, for your size.”
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