by Diann Hunt
No, she needed space. Lots of it. The sooner he got off at Bayview, the better. Still, the very idea punctured her heart with pain.
The days melted one on top of the other. Josiah could hardly believe they were pulling into the Bayview port. He watched as the ship clumsily made its way to the deep harbor. After all these weeks, he was no closer to changing Adelaide’s mind than from the start. Their interaction had been minimal since they left the island. Formal and distant, at best.
Adelaide walked up behind him. “You’ve got all your things?” He turned to her and nodded. Neither had said anything about where they would go from here. Every time he had tried to approach the subject, she cut him off, telling him she needed time to think. He wondered if he’d ever see her again.
“I hope you find your daughter,” Adelaide said almost in a whisper. The wind caused a wisp of a curl to dance upon her cheek. Before he caught himself, Josiah reached over and tucked it gently behind her bonnet. Their eyes locked. “Look, Adelaide, I know our situation isn’t the best—”
“Please, Josiah. Don’t.” Tears filled her eyes. “We both need some time.” He asked the question to which he feared the answer. “When will I hear from you?” A sadness such as he had never known gripped his heart like a heavy clamp. So many words left unsaid. They clogged his throat, trying to break free, but he knew it wouldn’t make a difference. Not now. He swallowed them.
Adelaide stared at him. “I don’t know.” A tear rolled down her cheek.
What held her back? Had he been wrong about her love for him, or was she being stubborn? The idea that she would allow her stubbornness to keep them apart made him angry, making it easier to let her go. If her love didn’t go any deeper than that, she would never be happy raising his child or living out her days with him. Somehow knowing that gave him the strength to release her.
“I hope you find what you want, Adelaide.” Without another word, Josiah picked up his trunk, turned, and walked away.
Scenes of Josiah’s departure haunted Adelaide’s mind time after time. Today, though, she refused to think about it. For this day would bring her joy or great sorrow. She would either see her ma or learn of her death.
Standing on the deck, Adelaide anxiously awaited the opportunity to step onto Yorksville’s shores. Through the light fog, she could just make out Markle’s General Store in the distance. July brought summer into full bloom, and despite her aching heart, Adelaide could hardly wait for the ship to dock.
It seemed an eternity, but she finally stepped onto the land, and her heart swelled with thankfulness and a prayer that her ma was still alive. She wanted to pop in and see the Markles but felt she had to get straight home. She didn’t want to hear bad news, if there was any, from anyone but family. A kind couple offered her a ride in their carriage, and she was home in no time. At the edge of their property, Adelaide gathered her things then stood and faced the house. She took a deep breath and made her way toward the front door. Before she could get there, a scream sounded behind her.
“Addie!” Esther came running from the henhouse as fast as her long skirts would allow.
Adelaide dropped her trunk and ran to her sister. They embraced and cried tears of joy. When the excitement died down, Adelaide pulled away, looked her sister square in the face, and asked the question that had plagued her for months. She pulled in a ragged breath. “Ma?”
Esther turned toward the house. Adelaide’s eyes followed until they stopped at a form standing just outside the front door. Adelaide’s blurry eyes focused. “Ma!” she cried, running to her. When she reached Ma, Adelaide pulled her into a firm hug, never wanting to let go. She was alarmed at the frailty of her ma’s body beneath her arms, but Adelaide would not let that steal her joy for now. She’d made it home to her family, and that’s what mattered.
She looked at her ma’s tired eyes and quickly escorted her toward the door. “We have much to catch up on, Ma. Let’s get you inside for a long visit.”
Ma wiped the tears from her face and nodded. A smiling Esther walked beside them.
Once inside the house, Esther set to making tea while Adelaide and Ma settled into chairs in the living room. Ma told of her near-death experience and how God had brought her through. Though she struggled with weakness, she felt her strength returning day by day, and they all rejoiced in her healing.
Adelaide shared of her life on the seas. Esther sat across from them, starry-eyed as always, while Ma listened with interest. Adelaide felt uncomfortable under Ma’s gaze. Ma knew her all too well, and Adelaide had no doubts Ma could read much into what wasn’t being said.
To quickly change the subject, Adelaide told Esther of Adam’s feelings for her. “Oh, I almost forgot!” Adelaide shot up from her chair and ran over to her trunk. She searched through her things and pulled out a dainty package. Quickly, she closed the lid of the trunk and made her way to Esther. “He asked me to give this to you.”
With wide eyes, Esther looked at Adelaide, then the package, then at Adelaide once again.
Adelaide shoved it toward her. “Well, are you going to take it, or do I have to stand here all day?”
Esther smiled and reached for it, quickly opening the package. Inside she found a dainty gold necklace with a small turquoise stone dangling from it. Esther gasped and, with shaking fingers, pulled the necklace from its case. Adelaide helped her put it on.
“Well, that pretty much settles the matter,” Ma said in her practical way. “She’s had plenty of men calling, but Esther’s been waiting for Adam.” Ma cradled a cup of tea in her hands and shook her head.
“Well, I’d say he has plans for the two of you if you’ll have him,” Adelaide assured her.
“I suppose I’m losing another daughter to the sea,” Ma said but quickly gave her blessing with a smile.
“There’s never been anyone else for me from the day I first set eyes on him.”
Another jab of pain struck Adelaide’s heart. Oh, to have that kind of love for another and to be loved in return.
“And what of Josiah, Adelaide?” Though she knew Ma would ask the question sooner or later, Adelaide had hoped they could discuss it later.
“It’s much too long a story, Ma. Can we talk about it later, after I’ve had some rest?” Adelaide didn’t miss the eye contact between Ma and Esther.
“Certainly, dear. Why don’t you go take a nap, and we’ll have dinner prepared by the time you wake up.”
“Oh, I couldn’t have you do that—”
“You can and you will. Ma has spoken,” Esther said with a laugh. She lifted one end of Adelaide’s trunk and pulled it toward the bedroom.
Adelaide shrugged toward her ma and followed Esther.
Though she couldn’t imagine how long she’d been in bed, Adelaide had to admit the nap felt good. She hadn’t realized how exhausted she was from the trip. The wooden slats beneath her creaked when she stretched her body and let out a yawn. Reluctantly, she pulled herself from the comfortable bed and straightened herself. A quick glance in the looking glass told her more than she wanted to know. With a tuck here and there in her hairpins, she made herself presentable and went into the kitchen to help with dinner preparations.
“We’re almost ready to eat,” Ma told her. Adelaide felt ashamed of herself for sleeping while they did all the work. Ma must have read her mind.
“Now, don’t you give it a thought, Adelaide. You had a long trip, and we’re thrilled to have you home. I’ll put you to work soon enough.” Ma smiled.
They had a pleasant dinner and a nice visit. Adelaide shared more stories of her adventures, even telling them about Ebenezer Fallon. Ma shook her head and clicked her tongue, adding something about the ways of men.
Esther headed to a friend’s house where several of the church ladies were gathering to work on a quilt, leaving Adelaide and Ma behind to do some serious talking.
They finally settled into chairs out in the front yard. The hot air did little to comfort them, but they hoped a slight b
reeze might stir among the trees.
Not being one to mince words, Ma came right out with it. “You want to tell me what’s going on with you and Josiah?” Ma wiped the perspiration from her neck with a handkerchief.
Adelaide sighed before telling the story of her life for the past eight months. Of course, she left out the part of their deceit. She didn’t want Ma to know her true reason for marrying Josiah. When she finished, Ma looked at her and said nothing. She could see more than Adelaide intended. Feeling a smidgen uncomfortable, Adelaide looked away and pretended to be interested in a bird that flew by. Ma had a way of knowing when her daughters didn’t tell the entire truth, and Adelaide just didn’t feel like explaining at present.
“When do you plan to return to him?”
Sometimes Adelaide wished Ma weren’t so direct. Most likely, she wouldn’t appreciate the answer anyway. “I don’t know.”
Ma swatted at a bug that flew close to her face. Adelaide wondered if Ma took her present frustration out on the insect. “What’s holding you back, Adelaide?”
“It’s complicated, Ma.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Too complicated for me to understand, is that what you mean?”
No response.
“Does he hurt you?”
Adelaide’s head shot up. “Of course not! He’s good to me. Well, Josiah’s about the best—” She stopped midsentence when she realized Ma had baited her with the question, and Adelaide had fallen for it, rising to Josiah’s defense in a heartbeat.
Ma smiled.
Mad at herself for falling prey to Ma’s strategy, Adelaide kicked a stone from the ground under her feet. “I’m not ready for a child, Ma.”
Ma nodded her head and looked in the distance. “Oh, I see. I didn’t realize your wedding vows contained conditions. I must have missed that.” She wiped her face again.
Adelaide blew out a frustrated sigh.
Ma turned to Adelaide once more. “Look, Adelaide, I can’t tell you what to do. You’re a grown woman with a life of your own. You need to search your heart and pray. Pray more than you’ve ever prayed in your life, because your future is at stake here. How you handle this situation will not only affect your life, but Josiah’s and his daughter’s as well. But hear me on this, Adelaide. You must return to him sometime. He is your husband.”
Without looking up, Adelaide nodded.
“Enough of that,” Ma said, brushing her hands together as if wiping the conversation from them. “Let’s go pick out a chicken for tomorrow’s dinner.”
Killing and preparing a chicken for dinner had always been one of Adelaide’s least favorite jobs, though after being on the whaling ship, she knew she had developed a stomach of cast iron. Very little made her squeamish these days.
When they entered the barn, chickens clucked and scattered about. From a bowl, Ma threw some feed on the ground, and the chickens greedily pecked their way through the tiny bits of food. Once the bowl was empty, Ma put it on a shelf, brushed her hands on the front of her dress, and pointed toward a fat chicken to her right. “I’m thinking tomorrow night’s Mabel’s night.”
Adelaide groaned. “Ma, how many times do I have to tell you not to name them? I can’t eat them if they have names.”
Ma laughed until she saw the serious expression on Adelaide’s face. “I’m sorry, honey. It’s the way of life out here. You know that.”
“I know. I just … well … don’t like it.”
“Adelaide, they were born to die. They serve their purpose to help us sustain life. That’s the life to which they were called.”
Adelaide didn’t want to think. Seemed like every conversation weighed her down. She loved Ma, but she wanted to go off by herself.
“Why don’t you hitch up the team and go into town for some sugar and flour? We’re just about out. Besides, the Markles can hardly wait to see you.”
The thought made her feel better. A journey to town might be just the thing she needed right now. She definitely wanted to visit with the Markles anyway.
Adelaide hitched the horses to the buckboard and arrived in town fairly quickly. She stepped through the doors of Markle’s General Store. The bell jangled overhead, but Adelaide’s footsteps carried her into an empty room. Her boots seemed to echo on the wooden floor. Adelaide glanced through the bolts of material and other goods on the shelves. She couldn’t help noticing that things were not quite as neat and tidy as before. The Markles must keep too busy.
Upon hearing a stirring behind the counter, Adelaide turned around to see Mrs. Markle jotting something in the logbook.
“Good day, Mrs. Markle.”
Mrs. Markle continued writing without lifting her head. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t see anyone in here.”
Feeling a bit giddy with the surprise, Adelaide quietly edged her way through the room while the storekeeper finished writing.
With the last stroke of the pen, Ida Markle laid it down and looked up. She gasped, jumped from her chair, and, with outstretched arms, made her way to Adelaide. “Oh, dear, dear Adelaide!” She pulled her into a tight hug, almost cutting off Adelaide’s air supply. “How we’ve missed you!”
Adelaide struggled to catch her breath. “I’ve missed you, too,” she finally managed in between coughs.
“Caleb, you’ve got to come out here and see who’s meandering around our store.”
Caleb poked his head around the corner. “Why, Adelaide Sanborn!” he crowed with a huge grin.
Ida Markle laughed. “It’s Buchanan now, Caleb, did you forget?”
“Oh, I did, at that.”
“How could you forget our girl running off and getting herself hitched like that?” The old woman looked around. “Where’s the grand sea captain?”
An aching pain rolled through Adelaide. “He couldn’t come. I came back to check on Ma.”
“Oh, of course,” Mrs. Markle said with a wave of her hand. She looked at Caleb. “Can we tell her?”
He nodded.
“It’s an act of God that you are here, child. We’ve been talking about this place. We’re not able to keep it up anymore. Now, we know you love the sea, and most likely, that’s where you’ll stay, but you walking in like a miracle—well, we just have to tell you. If you and Josiah should decide to settle on land, we’d like you to take over running the store. Caleb and me, well, we’d just live upstairs like we do now, but you could live in the downstairs apartment and the majority of ownership in the store would belong to you. We’d maintain only enough ownership to get us by. We’d always planned to give the store to you anyway. You’ve been like a daughter to us.”
Adelaide stared at them, speechless.
“Now, we don’t want you feeling obligated. Like we said, we know you love the sea, so it probably won’t work out for you. But seeing you walk in today and us just making the decision only yesterday to have someone take over, well, seemed like an answer to prayer.”
They looked at her through eager eyes. Adelaide had no idea what to say. “I—I don’t know.” Her mind raced in all directions. If she didn’t go with Josiah, at least she’d have an income, and a mighty fine business at that. She loved working at the store facing the sea. But she knew that life would be without Josiah. The sea owned him.
“I’ll have to give it much thought and talk it over with Josiah. I’ll let you know. That’s the best I can do.”
They both smiled. “That’s all we ask, dear, that you at least consider it and pray about it.”
They chatted a little longer. Other townsfolk made their way into the store and visited with Adelaide. As she finally made her way home, she mulled over their generous offer. In many ways, it seemed the perfect solution. If she knew Josiah loved her, Adelaide could stay on land and raise his child there. Too bad Josiah couldn’t give up whaling; the general store would provide a wonderful income and family life for them.
But, of course, that was silly. Everyone knew Josiah would sail the seas as long as he lived.
Chapter 19
Adelaide could hardly believe a week had passed since her arrival at Yorksville. It felt good to be home and see familiar faces. The townsfolk didn’t seem to think it unusual she had come back without Josiah. After all, her ma was sick, and Josiah had a ship to run.
After finishing the dinner dishes, Adelaide took a walk around the property. All week, turmoil had churned bitterly in her stomach. Stopping in front of the henhouse, Adelaide thought about her mother’s comment, “They were born to die.” The phrase kept rolling over in her mind time and again.
She paced. Wasn’t that true of herself as well? She was born to die to self. As a Christian, her life belonged to Jesus Christ. As she learned from the Lord and grew stronger in her Christian journey, His desires became her own.
So what of her current situation with Josiah? She walked amid clucking and strutting hens. They quickly pattered away as Adelaide moved closer.
“They live to die.” No matter how she turned that phrase over in her mind, the truth of it burned in her soul. Josiah was a good man. He treated her well and had accepted Christ as his Savior. Whether he still loved Catherine or not shouldn’t matter. Adelaide had agreed to be his wife, knowing full well he had been married before.
Adelaide threw some chicken feed on the ground and watched the chickens cluster toward it. She didn’t know how long she stayed there, praying over the matter, thinking, and finally deciding.
With the issue settled in her heart, Adelaide knew what she had to do. She turned and walked out of the henhouse with renewed determination and excitement. Tonight she would talk with Ma and Esther, and tomorrow she would make arrangements to go to Bayview in search of Josiah and his child. She only hoped she could make it before it was too late.
By the time Josiah made it to the orphanage, he had little strength left. He knew he should have gotten a room first, but he couldn’t wait a moment longer to see his child. Once inside, he sat on the nearest chair and rested a moment.
