by Jessica Dall
“Water,” Ben repeated.
“I’m going to give you a couple sips, okay?” she said. “Don’t try to take too much.”
Ben took what she would give him, trying to breathe deeply. He turned his head to look at her. “You’re covered in blood.”
“It’s not mine, I assure you.” She smiled. “You shouldn’t have bled out so fast. The bullet must have nicked something...or I did trying to get the bullet out.”
“I think you ruined the ‘not a doctor thing,” he said in a quiet voice.
“I didn’t say I wasn’t a doctor.” She checked on his shoulder. “I said not a surgeon, and I’m not. I specialized in immunology and now I’m basically a herbologist.”
“I’m alive,” Ben said.
“I’m pretty sure that’s more luck than anything,” she said, pressing on his shoulder.
He flinched a bit, but didn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I really need to make sure the bleeding’s stopped. You don’t want to go back into shock. It’s amazing you’re conscious again already.”
“Always been a quick healer,” he said.
She offered a weak smile. “Are you warm enough? Too warm?”
“I’m fine,” he said.
“I’m sorry I don’t know what else to do.” She shook her head. “You should have dragged along someone from the ER.”
He frowned. “Emergency...?”
“Emergency room,” she said. “They’re the ones who deal with people in mortal danger.”
“You care about me more than anyone from there, I’m sure,” Ben said.
“Well, that’s part of the problem.” Dahlia stroked his hair. “I’m making myself not try more at the moment. There’s a reason we don’t treat people we really care about. The need to make them better all too often overrides what our best judgment would lead us to do in any other situation. Too much doctoring can lead to death just as easily as not enough.”
“Jude and I are probably dead anyway, so I wouldn’t beat myself up too much about not being able to do more.”
“We’re all probably dead,” Dahlia said, “but we aren’t right now.”
“If anyone has a chance to make it through this, it’s you.” Jude sat down. “You’re the woman—a straight, intellectual, brilliantly-trained woman. Ben and I are dispensable. They kill us and there are thousands of other men out there, maybe more than that who could fill our places, no problem. You, though―they’ve invested decades of education, training, and supplies on you. You’re worth more to them, if only because of the effort they’ve put into raising you.”
“A life is a life, Jude,” she said.
“Not to them.” Jude shook his head. “We aren’t equals in their eyes. You should know that. You used to think that.”
Dahlia pressed her lips together, but didn’t dispute the fact.
Ben moaned.
“Do you need a pain killer?” Dahlia focused on him.
“I’m fine.”
“Ben...”
“I’m fine,” he repeated. “I think my body’s just still trying to figure out that it’s still alive.”
“You’re proving to be stubbornly hard to kill.”
“Well, I’m stubborn in every other way, according to Jude.”
“According to most people who know you, I would think,” she said.
“Like you’re one to talk.” He smiled weakly. “Can I sit up?”
She shook her head. “I wouldn’t recommend it. You lost enough blood for your pressure to drop and to go into shock. You want to keep your head as low as you can to make sure you don’t pass out.”
Jude flexed his hands. “Do you want to wash up, Lia?”
“I’m fine.” She ignored the blood drying on her hands.
“Mind if I do, then?”
“Go ahead,” Dahlia said, watching him go into the bathroom before looking back at Ben
Ben turned his head to see the door. “Why didn’t she come back in here?”
“Lisa?”
“Now that she knows you’re a doctor. You’d think...What is she doing?”
“You expect me to know?” She stared at the door.
“You know what women do inside.”
“I doubt we all do the same thing.” Dahlia shook her head. “Contrary to popular belief, I’m not psychic.”
“Dahlia?”
“Yeah?”
“Just, if I do die—”
“You aren’t going to die, Ben,” she cut him off. “Not right now anyway.”
“There’s just...I just want to say something if I don’t get another chance before I do.”
“You don’t need to go into deathbed confessions. You aren’t dying, not for the moment, and we both know how well confessing works out for both of us. I’m not sure I want to know anything else you did that I don’t know about.”
“Dahlia.” He sighed. “Will you just shut up for once in your life and let me say my piece?”
She smiled at the familiar refrain. “Fine, what’s your not-quite-deathbed confession?”
“Lia.” He looked at her. “I love you. I have for what seems like a long time.”
She blinked and stared at him.
He studied her face. “Please say something.”
“I know.”
“What?”
“As much as I have tried to be in denial, you hear it enough, you sort of start thinking that other people are seeing what you aren’t.”
“Heather and Jude?”
“Oh, everyone’s been absolutely sure that we’re mad for each other since I decided to show up in the first place, and I seem to have saved you ass enough times that I care something for you a little more than is proper,” she said. “So, why is that a deathbed confession?”
“What is?”
“Saying ‘I love you’.”
“There’s just never been a good time,” Ben muttered.
“No?”
“I think we’ve both pushed each other away more than once.”
“And now...”
“Now, I’d rather tell you and let you react how you would rather than die and not say so.”
“How am I supposed to react?” She frowned, at a loss.
“Well, you said you didn’t want this. You wanted J...” He couldn’t say it. “Stability. I don’t think I can offer you that, even if I do survive. We’re probably going to fight until the day we die, however far away that may be.”
“I don’t doubt it,” Dahlia said. “Though hopefully after all this is over, if by some miracle we’re around after this, you’ll have to hide just a little less than you do now.”
He chuckled, but the movement made him wince. “I don’t know what I’ll be outside of this. I am this. My life is this.”
“So you’ll make a new life.” She rubbed his hand. “You’ve made yourself this cause, but the cause isn’t all there is to you.”
“You’re sure about that?”
“Of course.” Dahlia nodded. “I sort of hate this, and, while I hate you too at points, I don’t hate all of you. There’s something other than this in you.”
He sighed as though he didn’t fully agree, but didn’t argue, and shifted. He froze, wincing dramatically.
“Don’t move.” Dahlia held her hands out as if she were going to push him back down, but didn’t actually touch him.
“Yeah, the shooting pain sort of told me not to try that again.” Ben exhaled with caution.
“Let me give you something.” She went for the bag.
“Don’t,” he said.
“It’s just—”
“Lia, don’t dare come near me with anything. I don’t want it.”
She paused. “You don’t have to be in pain, Ben.”
“Pain doesn’t bother me,” he said. “I’d rather be fully alert at the moment.”
“Ben...”
“Doc, I’m refusing medical treatment. Let it go.”
She sighed but lay down. �
��I hate it when you call me Doc.”
“I haven’t recently.”
“No,” she said, “but if we make it through this and you get well enough while we’re still here, I’m hitting you every time you call me that.”
“So I’ll say it now, eh, Doc?”
She glared at him. He used his good arm to pull her down next to him.
“Stop it.” She shook him off. “Tell me what you want. As your physician, I forbid you to move anything heavy, including me.”
“You aren’t heavy,” Ben said. “Besides, I wasn’t shot in this shoulder.”
“Who’s the doctor here?”
He sighed. “Yes, dear. Whatever you say, dear.”
She watched him clench his jaw so he wouldn’t wince while shifting. “You’re sure you don’t want something.”
“It really doesn’t hurt that much,” he said.
“Why do all you men insist on pretending you’re never in pain?” She frowned.
“It’s a machismo thing,” Ben said. “Really, I swear, it’s not that bad.”
“I don’t understand men.” Dahlia sighed, exasperated.
“That’s all right.” He grinned at her. “Women are a complete mystery to me.”
“Just to get this straight, our position is that mixing men and women together is a good thing?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“In light of this revelation?”
“Fair enough,” he said. “Does it really matter if it’s a good thing or not? It’s the fair thing to do.”
“The fair thing to do would be to make everyone do the same job for the same pay in the same housing,” Dahlia said. “I don’t see that working though.”
“We might not have the perfect system, but at least it’s better than this one.”
“Possibly,” she said.
“Why are you here again?”
“Because I’m in love with you, you idiot.” She shook her head. “If I weren’t, you’d be dead and I’d be at home and not having to consider any of this.”
“With me dead.”
“If I didn’t love you, I don’t think I would have cared.” She shrugged. “That’s just the nature of emotions.”
“That makes me feel better.”
“It wasn’t meant to.” She smiled. “Just because I’m finally done fighting irrational emotions doesn’t mean I’m not going to be rational anymore.”
“You are the most rational person I know,” he said.
“Except when it comes to you obviously.”
“Well, that’s because I’m special.”
“You’re a leader of a rag-tag group of men, but...”
“You really are infuriating, you know that?”
“So are you, so we work well together.” Ben smiled.
“About time.” Jude stood in the doorway
“Come a little closer so I can throw something at you.” Ben shot Jude a look.
“No lifting.” Dahlia frowned and yawned.
“Tired?” Jude looked at her.
She nodded. “It should be safe to move him, I think. Do you want to help me get him on the bed?”
“I can do it.” Ben pushed himself up with his good arm.
“You’re going to get yourself killed if you insist on doing everything yourself.” Dahlia slid an arm around him to help him stand.
“I’m not an invalid.”
“No, but you are a two-year-old sometimes,” she said, nodding for Jude to help. “Careful of his shoulder.”
Ben frowned, but allowed himself to be led to the bed to lie down.
“Dizzy?” Dahlia checked his pulse.
“Not really,” he said.
She sent him a look.
“Maybe a little.” He sighed. “It isn’t bad though.”
“I’d say stay there until we can get you something to eat. Your body has a lot of blood to replenish.”
“Lie down,” Ben said. “I’ll sleep if you will.”
“You don’t think you’ll be in too much pain to sleep?”
“Dahlia.” He sent her a look.
“Fine, I’ll let it go.” She held up her hands. “I’m just going to wash first, we’re going to have flakes of dried blood in the bed as it is.”
Ben nodded.
Dahlia looked at the room. “There should be enough room for you too if you don’t want to sleep on the floor.
“I’ll be good,” Jude said.
“You sure?”
“Guys don’t share beds,” Jude said.
“Why not?”
“It’s a guy thing.”
Dahlia sighed. “Men.”
Chapter Eighteen
They had only been asleep for a couple hours at most when the door opened again. Ben jerked, sitting up by instinct, before favoring his shoulder and grunting in pain.
“Thought your doctor told you not to move.” Lisa looked at him.
The voice woke Jude from where he had put a pillow on the floor by the bed, but Dahlia only shifted.
Lisa looked at her. “Deep sleeper.”
“Let her sleep.” Ben frowned. “She’s exhausted.”
“I don’t think you have the authority to give me orders.” Lisa touched the handle of her gun. “You served your purpose. The next one could go straight for your head.”
“You need something from us,” Jude said in a quiet voice, as if trying to be considerate of Dahlia, even with the other two speaking at normal volume. “Otherwise we wouldn’t still be alive.”
“We need one of you,” Lisa said. “We just don’t know which one yet.”
Another woman came into the room. “You wanted something?”
Lisa nodded at Dahlia. “Grab her. Take her to room 540.”
Ben moved to stand, pushing against the mattress with his good arm.
Dahlia turned over sharply, as if she had been half asleep and finally just gave up trying to remain unconscious. “Ben what the hell do you think...” She paused, looking at the women before turning back to him. “Lie down.”
He stood anyway.
“Ben, I’m serious. Lie down.”
Lisa watched them, a mildly amused smile on her face. “Do you want to take back that not a doctor line yet?”
“I’m a doctor.” Dahlia stood, forcing Ben back to sitting at least. “I’m not a surgeon.”
Lisa considered that, but let it go. “Clara’s going to take you to another room.”
“Why?” Dahlia shot Ben a look as he shifted.
“Because we are,” Lisa said. “Now you can walk or you can have Clara throw you over her shoulder and carry you there.”
“She isn’t going anywhere,” Ben said.
Lisa pulled out her gun and cocked it. “What did I say about you giving orders?”
Dahlia subconsciously sidestepped to be between Ben and the barrel. “I’ll walk.”
“Lia—” Ben hissed.
“Shut up before you get yourself killed,” she shot back in a whisper.
“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” Lisa said. “Clara, watch her.”
Dahlia moved towards the door, stopping when Lisa only moved to let her pass. “You’re staying in here?”
“You think I have to answer any of your questions?”
“I think I swore an oath to practice healing, and, while you are taking me away from my patient, I would like to make sure that undue stress is not placed on him.”
Lisa looked at her steadily. “I don’t think you fully understand our roles here.”
“I think you wanted me to prove I was a doctor. You proved it, and now I am going to act as one.”
Lisa smirked, waving at Clara. “Take her down the hall.”
Dahlia continued to keep eye contact with the dark-haired woman until Clara forcefully took her upper arm. Dahlia threw a cautionary look at Ben and allowed herself to be led out of the room.
Lisa watched them go.
“Where is she going?” Ben studied Lisa, adrenaline overtaking
whatever weakness and pain he had been feeling.
“Don’t get your panties in a twist.” Lisa shut the door, holstering her gun. “She’s just going to another interrogation room. Not like we could leave her in here.”
“Why not?” Jude frowned.
Lisa just smiled at him before looking at Ben. “It seems I chose right. I knew she had to be here for one of you. Only a man could make a smart, otherwise law-abiding woman, end up here. So I had to pick one of you to shoot—”
“Thanks for that, by the way,” Ben scoffed. “It really has been too long since I got shot.”
“I could have killed you.” Lisa shrugged. “She barley was able to keep you from bleeding out with a little shoulder wound. If I had hit anything more important, really anything else, you’d be dead right now.”
“She’s never dealt with a bullet wound before,” Ben said defensively. “I think she did a damn good job.”
“Didn’t mean to insult your girlfriend’s professional competency.” Lisa smiled looking him over. “I suppose I can understand it, though.”
Ben paused before speaking. “Understand what?”
“How you could convince her to defect. You are a nice looking man.”
“I don’t think it was my looks that won her over,” Ben said.
“Couldn’t have hurt.” Lisa continued looking at his chest. “I mean, based on our records she’s twenty, so she had you as her first rotation? Easy pickings for you.”
“I wasn’t trying to ‘pick’ anything,” Ben said. “Sometimes you just end up places without trying.”
Lisa tilted her head in an amused half nod. “How many others of you are out there?”
Ben just raised his eyebrows.
“Why would we tell you that?” Jude frowned.
“Because,” Lisa said, “two of the three of you are going to be dead by the end of this week. You tell us what we want to know, you get to choose who the one left is going to be.”
Ben met her eyes.
“We’ll take our chances,” Jude said.
Lisa watched Ben for another moment before turning towards the door. “If you change your mind, we’re only a call away.”
* * * *
Dahlia walked to one side of the room and then to the other, half in boredom, half to attempt to work off the nerves that had her skin buzzing. The room was smaller than the others, much smaller. The walls were painted a dull grey with only one window that was maybe large enough for a child to slide through to break up the depressing symmetry. All the room contained was a table and a set of chairs, both of which were Spartan with thin legs and sharp edges, built for efficiency, not comfort or beauty.
