"But you still did it," Adam said through gritted teeth.
"Because I didn't know what else to do."
"Because it was wrong?" Adam asked. "You knew the way you felt about me was wrong?"
Luc turned his head sharply. "I suppose so."
"You said you were ashamed." Adam's voice rose in pitch and intensity as anger gripped him.
"I was," Luc said finally. "Because I knew no one would understand how I felt. I knew you wouldn't understand."
Adam dropped his head into his hands and pressed his fingertips hard against his skull. "Because it's wrong."
"We're not related, Adam."
"Our parents are married. Nothing else matters."
Luc sighed. "Why are we even having this conversation? It's obvious the way I feel repulses you. If it makes you feel happier, I'll go stay at a bed and breakfast or something, until I'm done helping Mum and Dad with the dance school."
Would that make Adam feel happier? It would definitely be easier if Luc wasn't under the same roof as him, but he didn't want to be the reason his stepbrother left; not again.
"I dreamt about you last night," he whispered, focusing on the dark grey carpet beneath his feet. He had no clue why the confession had slipped out, but in a weird way he felt better for letting go of the dirty secret.
"You... really?" Luc asked, not suppressing the surprise or excitement that rose up in his voice.
Adam nodded miserably. "I have never thought about you like that before. And then you tell me you're into me and suddenly I have a dream about kissing you. Why?" There was no way he was going to tell Luc the more sordid details of the dream, or how good it had felt whilst he'd been trapped within it.
Even though he was refusing to look at Luc, he was aware of his stepbrother slipping off the sofa, shuffling forward on his knees until he was much closer.
"You can't always take dreams literally," Luc said softly.
"I woke up with a hard-on."
"Oh."
Luc moved into Adam's limited view. They were so close now, Adam could feel the warmth radiating off his stepbrother's body. He could smell the spicy scent of his aftershave and see the way the dark hairs were standing up and quivering on Luc's arms.
"Maybe it's your subconscious trying to tell you something, then," Luc said, his voice bordering on husky.
Adam shook his head, refusing to admit that, alongside the revulsion that churned his stomach, he’d also felt a quiver of desire the moment his stepbrother had moved closer. "I'm not going to start fancying you, just because you told me you're into me,” he snapped.
"No," Luc agreed. "But maybe there was something there before that. Something you always put down to friendship."
"We haven't been friends for years," Adam spat. He lifted his head and glared at Luc. "I don't want you like that. And even if I did, it would be wrong. It would be revolting." The words sounded hollow to his own ears, but he had to believe them.
"Really?" Luc asked, lifting his eyebrows. "You didn't enjoy that dream at all, then?"
Adam scowled. "I was asleep."
"And you're not even the least bit interested in enacting that dream for real?"
"No." Yet his palms were sweaty and his heart rate had increased. His breath caught in his throat as Luc edged even closer, so that his body was pressed against Adam's knees. "No," Adam repeated, grinding his teeth together so hard it hurt.
"You sure?"
Luc kissed him. His lips were soft and smooth, just like they'd been in Adam's dream. It felt like Adam's heart had stopped beating. His stomach flipped. He was on a rollercoaster that had been travelling slowly uphill. But when Luc’s lips had pressed against his, the rollercoaster had tipped over the peak and was now hurtling downhill so fast and for so long, that his stomach flipped a dozen times. He wanted to pull away, possibly even slam his fist into his stepbrother's face, but he also couldn't deny the quiver of desire he felt in his groin. He couldn't deny that Luc's lips felt good against his. Luc cupped Adam's face in his hands, as he deepened the kiss. He pulled back a fraction, so he could run his tongue over Adam's lips. Then he mashed his lips against Adam's again, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs.
By the time Luc was done with him, Adam was breathless. He sat, staring at Luc, the air rasping out of his throat.
"Are you going to tell me you didn't enjoy that?" Luc asked, as he gazed at Adam hungrily. He licked his lips slowly and seductively. "Because you definitely didn't pull away."
No, he hadn't and he didn't understand why. He knew he should have, but instead he had enjoyed it. He felt physically sick.
"This. Is. Wrong," he breathed. "We can't..." He shook his head. "I can't." He pushed Luc away and stood. "Don't touch me again," he snapped, before striding towards the door.
"Do you want me to leave?" Luc asked, his voice a harsh whisper as Adam walked away from him.
Adam looked over his shoulder. Luc had turned to face him and had rocked back onto his heels, his arms hanging limply by his sides.
"Because I will, if you ask me to."
"No," Adam said. "I won't be the reason why Mum's heart gets broken again. But stay away from me," he growled.
Luc nodded. "If that's really what you want."
Adam clenched his hands into fists. "It is."
"Okay..."
For a moment, Adam actually thought Luc was being sincere. But that was before a wicked grin spread across Luc's face.
"If you change your mind, let me know. I'm crazy about you, Adam. That's not likely to change any time soon."
Chapter Nine
Luc
Luc felt no satisfaction at being proved right. He'd known Adam would freak out, be repulsed and that he wouldn't give a shit about the distinction between brothers and stepbrothers. As much as he wanted them to be able to, those four letters didn't have the power to make his desire appropriate.
Despite all that, he'd still been stupid enough to kiss Adam. He wasn't even sure why he'd done it. Had pushing Adam like that been a good idea? Of course not. But he hadn't exactly been thinking with his head as he'd crept closer and closer to his stepbrother. And fuck, the confusion that had created lines on Adam's forehead had only made him look even hotter. Besides, the kiss had been wonderful. He'd fantasised about it for so long, that it could have easily fallen flat, but it hadn't. Pressing his lips against Adam's had felt completely right. Caressing Adam's face had made his fingers tingle with delight. He'd wanted so much more and he wasn't entirely sure that Adam would have resisted, but he'd forced himself to stop with the kiss, so that Adam could think over his reaction to it.
That had been two days ago and Adam had barely looked at him since.
To be fair, that wasn't much of a step backwards from where they'd been before they'd gone out to the club. But Adam had also been fairly uncommunicative to their parents and that was likely to cause problems.
Luc didn't know what to do about it. He hadn't been alone in the house with Adam since the evening he'd kissed him. Either their parents were around, or Adam was out. Unable to speak to his stepbrother, Luc threw himself into marketing the dance company. He went to the studio and took photos of the lessons, although he avoided the classes that Adam taught. Jane had worked quickly to send him three ideas for a new website. He talked his parents through the designs, helping them to choose the one that best suited the identity of the dance studio.
"Jane will design flyers to match," he told them. "And social media banners. With the photos I've been taking, we should be able to give you a really good web presence."
His mum kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Luc. You've done so much."
"I'm not done yet," Luc said. "I promised I'd get the social media accounts going for you. But we need to think about local publicity, too." He breathed in. "Did you think any more about lessons for youngsters?"
Ken pressed his lips together. "I'm waiting to hear Adam's ideas for lessons. I thought he'd have given them to me by now."
"
He's been very out of sorts the last few days," Luc's mum agreed. She looked at him, lines gathering around her eyes. "Do you know what's wrong with him?"
"How would I know? We're not exactly best buddies."
"Maybe you could talk to him?"
"He's more likely to talk to you, than me." Not that Luc wanted Adam to pour his heart out to their mum. He couldn't think of a worse outcome. "But sure, I'll give it a go."
His mum patted his shoulder. "Thank you."
"It's probably because he's fed up of me being here," Luc said, trying to make a joke out of the situation.
His mum's chin quivered. "Don't say that, Luc."
"If me being here is a problem—"
"It's not," Ken said gruffly. "We want you here. It's been good to have you back. If that's what Adam's problem is, he'll just have to get used to it."
"For a couple more weeks," Luc pointed out. "I have a job to get back to."
"Yes, of course," his mum agreed, nodding. "But it has been lovely having you here. We've missed you."
"Anyway," Luc said, eager to change the subject. "If you decide to go ahead with toddler lessons, I thought you might consider doing workshops at the local nurseries and preschools."
He bit his lip as he waited for either of his parents to say something.
"I think that's a good idea," his mum said.
"You could hand out vouchers for a free trial lesson," Luc said, gaining more confidence in his idea.
"There you go again, with the idea of free lessons," Ken grumbled. "We're trying to make more money, not give tuition away."
Luc folded his arms. "It's a good way of getting people through the door. Make sure the kids enjoy the lesson and you've got returning customers. It's like when chocolate shops give free samples out. They know that if someone likes the chocolate, they'll probably buy some and something else as well."
Ken pursed his lips. "We need to see what Adam comes up with first."
It wasn't a flat out 'no', which Luc decided to take as a good sign.
"I'm going to go sort through the photos I've been taking and choose the best ones."
"You can do that down here," his mum said.
Luc knew he could, but by retreating to his room, he was giving Adam the opportunity to come out of his.
"I work better without distractions," he lied. "I could do with putting in some hours on my day job, too." He gave his mum a kiss on the cheek, before leaving them to look at the website design they'd chosen.
As he reached the top floor, he could hear the shower running. He glanced at his watch. It wasn't long before his parents and Adam would be heading to the dance school for the evening's classes. He stared at the shut bathroom door, imagining Adam standing beneath the shower, naked, water cascading over his strong body. Thinking like that was going to get him hard in no time, but he had no intentions of cleansing his thoughts. If fantasising about Adam was the closest he was going to get to his stepbrother, he'd take it.
Alone on the landing, he shut his eyes and let his hand drift to his crotch, massaging his cock through his jeans. In his mind, he saw Adam rubbing shower gel over his body, the bubbly foam gathering on his biceps and dripping down his abs to his— Luc bit his lip. Standing on the landing, getting horny, was going to get him in a lot of trouble.
The shower stopped and Luc knew he needed to go back to his room, lock the door and finish his fantasy in private, but his feet had other ideas. They kept him rooted to the spot until, a few moments later, Adam walked out the door.
His hair was still wet, allowing droplets of water to drip onto his forehead. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and his smooth chest was still slightly damp. He was freshly shaven. There was a small shaving cut on his left cheek, where a tiny bead of blood had formed. He stared at Luc, his breath quickening.
"What do you want?" Adam snapped.
"I... was just going to my room."
Then Adam's gaze dropped to Luc's crotch and his all too obvious hard-on. He looked up again, meeting Luc's stare. Luc had no idea what to do. His throat felt tight and he really needed to jack off, but what he wanted was to feel Adam's hand gripping his cock. He wanted Adam's lips against his again. So, he stood there, doing nothing to hide his desire for his half-naked stepbrother.
Adam didn't move either. Luc would have loved to have been able to see inside his head and read his thoughts. But he couldn't, so he let his gaze rove over his stepbrother's bare torso. His muscles were clearly defined and Luc imagined himself trailing his tongue down the dips between them all. Fuck, he really wanted to push Adam into his room, shove him onto the bed and devour him.
"I'm going to get dressed," Adam said, sidestepping him.
"Adam..."
"I'm not interested, Luc." Adam's voice was tight. "You need to get that into your head."
"And you need to realise that I can't flip my feelings for you off and on like a light switch," Luc said, in a hushed whisper.
Adam hunched his shoulders. "I'm not asking you to. But I'm telling you: I don't want you. I won't ever want you. I couldn't want you," he said, his voice cracking with the finality of his own words. His chin quivered as he glanced back at Luc. "I'm sorry."
Luc blinked. Sorry? Why was Adam sorry? Unless... Could he dare to believe that Adam did feel something for him? Was that why he hadn't stopped the kiss? Why he'd stood, staring at Luc for several moments, before turning away?
It was a hope he took with him into his room, as he tugged off his jeans and boxer shorts and made himself comfortable on the bed. He smeared lube over his hand and cock, closed his eyes and thought about Adam with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, as he brought himself to a slow, delicious climax.
Chapter Ten
Adam
"I've got the social media accounts set up and a bunch of photos ready to go," Luc said at breakfast the next morning.
Adam had stopped hiding. He couldn't be a stranger in his own home, nor could he continue to act in a way that was causing their parents to worry. Luc's feelings were his problem, not Adam's.
"That's great," Deborah said. "Adam, why don't you spend some time with Luc today so he can show you what type of posts to write?" She glanced at Luc. "They are called posts, aren't they?"
Luc chuckled. "Or tweets, if you're talking about Twitter."
Adam glared at his toast. "Yeah, sure."
He couldn't understand how Luc could behave as though nothing was wrong. If he could do it now, why hadn't he done it when they were teenagers, instead of siding with the bullies that had humiliated him?
"I'll go grab my laptop after breakfast," Luc said.
"I thought you preferred to work in the quiet of your room?" their dad said.
Adam's upper lip curled as a sour taste flooded his mouth. He couldn't think of anything worse than being alone in Luc's bedroom, but he had no reason to object or refuse; none that wouldn't destroy his parents or make them suspicious.
"Well, yeah, but..." Luc pinched his lips together.
Clearly, Luc couldn't think of a good reason to change his pattern of behaviour, either. Instead, he shifted his gaze to Adam, eyebrows raised. Great.
"Whatever," Adam mumbled with a shrug. He narrowed his eyes a fraction, in what he hoped was a silent warning to Luc to keep his distance. "Dad, did you get a chance to look over the lesson ideas I gave you last night?"
Their dad nodded. "They're good."
Adam's lips tugged up into a smile. "So... we're going to go ahead and start lessons for toddlers?"
"Maybe."
Adam's heart felt like it was shrinking in his chest. He'd put so much effort into those plans and he'd expected a hell of lot more than, 'maybe'.
"Ken," their mum said, "Can't you be a bit more positive?"
His dad grunted. "I said the lessons were good, but I'm still not convinced we should be giving lessons to children who are still developing."
"It's not proper ballet," Adam said. "It's movement and it’s no mor
e than they'd do running around in a park or at nursery."
"I'll think about it," his dad said, chewing on a slice of toast in a manner that signalled he wasn't going to talk about it anymore.
Adam sighed. He'd done what he could. He understood his dad's reticence and the importance of protecting developing bones and joints, but he also knew he'd taken all that into account when he'd formulated his ideas. There was nothing he could do but sit back and wait for his dad to make a decision. Maybe Deborah would help nudge him along. She was just about the only person he'd listen to when he was digging his heels in.
After breakfast, he followed Luc upstairs. Luc's room had been left exactly as it was when he went away to university, complete with posters of footballers and now split up bands. The bed was still a single, not that that mattered to Adam at all.
"Do you want to go grab the chair from your room, so we can both sit at the desk?" Luc asked. "Or we could sit on the bed. I have a laptop, after all."
Adam scowled at him. "I'll get my chair."
"You don't need to worry, I'm not going to jump you."
Adam rolled his eyes, even though his back was already turned to Luc. The comment had been completely unwarranted. It felt like now that Luc had revealed his dark secret, he was going to rub his attraction in Adam's face at every opportunity. Adam just wasn't sure why he would want to do that. What did Luc have to gain by pissing him off?
By the time he'd grabbed his chair and returned to Luc's room, his brother had booted up his laptop and opened up browser tabs for Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. For the next hour, Luc discussed posts and tweets and what they could do to maximise their exposure. Not just the content, but the language and appropriate hashtags to help spread the word. He talked about the frequency of posts and the best times of day to make them. The photos Luc had taken were really good, taken from artsy angles to make them interesting. He'd also taken some video clips of a few of the lessons, primarily of the older and more able students.
Adam didn't like how close they were sitting together. Their knees and shoulders were almost touching as they both stared at the screen. Luc made no attempt to close the small gap between them. His hand didn't accidentally stray closer to Adam. Maybe it was ridiculous to think that Luc would cross that line, but after that kiss and the way Luc had stared at him after his shower the day before, Adam couldn't be sure of anything.
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