The kindness in Becky’s gaze was such a comfort that Diana released some of the anxiety she’d been holding on to. She actually let out the breath she’d been holding. She needed support, and until Becky leaned in, she hadn’t realized how much she wanted it.
“Jed’s mad at me. Can’t blame him, really. I panicked, is all. Couldn’t remember feeling the baby move or kick, for that matter. I’m just so tired. I’m having a hard time sleeping, and I’m worrying more because of it.”
“Oh, don’t you worry about Jed. Sometimes men just don’t get it. After all, they’re not the ones carrying a baby for nine months; body being transformed and hormones raging. You are tired, of course. Give yourself a break. You’re allowed to panic. It’s better to have Jed driving you in and discovering nothing is wrong than the alternative.” She squeezed Diana’s arm. “Now come on out of there.”
Diana glanced at the house, where the men had slipped inside. The door was open, but she couldn’t see her husband or her father in law.
Becky understood her discomfort, as she glanced over her shoulder at the house. “Don’t you mind them,” she said. “I’ll kick them out of the house if you want.”
“Maybe Jed needs a break from me right now—from all of this. I just want to have the baby. At least then I wouldn’t have to have him waiting on me hand and foot. I don’t like feeling as if I’m a burden to him.” She couldn’t believe she had said it. She loved Jed so much—maybe this was a manifestation of the insecurities she still had, after all these years. After all, everyone had a breaking point; and she’d been wondering, lately, what Jed’s was with her.
Becky sighed. “That’s just the hormones talking. Jed loves you, he worries about you; and he’d beat anyone who tried to hurt you senseless. I’ve never seen Jed as happy as he is with you and Danny. You’re not a burden. He may snap and growl and bark; but he wouldn’t allow anyone to step in and do what he believes is his job—looking after you and Danny and that baby you’re carrying.”
“But, Becky, he was annoyed with me at the hospital as soon as the doctor said the baby was fine—it wasn’t my imagination. I thought, for a minute, he’d walk out the door and leave me there.”
Becky frowned and then patted her leg before glancing sharply at the open door of the house. She started to say something; then shook her head. “Diana, when I was pregnant with Neil, I was ten days overdue before the doctor decided to bring me in and break my water. Those days, they weren’t as careful as they are now. I had Brad, who was a holy terror at three. He could turn the house upside down in two seconds flat, and I had to run after him. Rodney was ranching then, and we lived at the family homestead in Hoquiam. Brad has the place now.
“In those days, women didn’t get much help from their menfolk. We had ranch hands to help with the cattle, the haying; but I still had to get lunch and dinner out, and it wasn’t easy. Rodney, toward the end, made sure to step in more and help; putting Brad to bed, cleaning up after dinner. I know I shouldn’t say this, but we had quite the fight before the doctor called me in; and I was ready to leave, pack my bags, go home to my parents in the Napa Valley. I decided I didn’t want to be a rancher’s wife anymore.
“I was young and stupid; and Rodney was handsome, arrogant, and hotheaded. But he loved me. He helped me out of bed, because I had been having trouble for the last month of my pregnancy, and we had a doozy of a fight. The next-door neighbor, June, was slim and gorgeous, and she called all the time for Rodney’s help. Her husband was away a lot; and she needed help with a cow, moving something—God knows what. Rodney always went. I had never let it bother me too much until that last week. You know, when you’re exhausted because your back aches so badly you can’t sleep; and you have heartburn and end up sleeping upright, supported by half a dozen pillows, so you can get comfortable? When she phoned, I answered; and she, of course, asked for Rodney. It was suppertime, too; but he got up, took the call, and said he’d be right over.
“To this day, I remember my mouth hanging open. Brad was in his high chair, food all over his face, rubbing his eyes because he was tired. Hell, I was exhausted. Rodney said he had to go because June needed help, and I watched him walk to the back door, slip on his coat, and I said; ‘How could you even think about walking out that door to help another woman while your very pregnant wife is left here to clean up and care for your son, needing your help more?’ He just sighed and had the nerve to say, ‘Look, her cow got out again, and it’s too hard for her to catch it. I won’t be long.’”
Diana watched Becky. For a minute, she wondered whether Becky was reliving that moment, the shadow of heartache flickering in her expression. Then she forced a tight smile to her lips as if pulling herself from those thoughts. “Did he go, walk out that door?” Diana asked, and she touched Becky’s arm softly.
“He did, and I swear my heart shattered into a million pieces. I stared at that closed door, and all I could think about was that my husband had walked out that door for another woman. It didn’t matter that it was just a stupid cow. It was the fact that he had chosen her over me.” Becky patted her hand. “By the look on your face, I wonder whether I should have told you.”
Diana ached for the young woman her mother-in-law had once been; understanding that pain all too well. But then she glanced at the open front door; having a picture of Rodney that wasn’t entirely flattering. She didn’t think Jed would ever do that to her. Becky was right, he was just overprotective. However, Diana couldn’t help but remember that time with the lady doctor; when he’d shared her confidence about his brain tumor and hidden it from Diana. It still ached as she thought about it; bringing on a mist that stung her eyes. She blinked it back. “No, I’m glad you did. What happened? I mean, obviously you worked it out, but what did you do?”
“I cried like there was no tomorrow, and Brad watched, terrified, and burst into tears. I cleaned him up, and we both cried. Then I phoned my mother in the Napa Valley, where they used to live, and carried on about how Rodney had left me. My father got on the phone and was furious; said he’d kill Rodney and he was driving up to pick me and Brad up, to bring us home. It would take him two days to get there, and I pulled out the suitcases. By the time I heard Rodney’s footsteps and then him calling me from downstairs, I had a suitcase packed for me and another for Brad.
“When Rodney came up the stairs, I was so worked up and so mad that I picked up the bedside clock and threw it at his head when he appeared in the doorway. Oh, he was quick and ducked, and it shattered against the wall, sending plaster flying. He swore and chased me down, and, Lord, did we scream at each other—loud enough that we could have raised the roof off the house when he saw the suitcases! Then there was Brad, screaming and crying on the bed, watching us behave like two fools. I had made up my mind. I told him I was done and leaving. I was going home. He said I couldn’t take his son with me if I wanted to leave, and of course I was so mad about June that I accused him of having an affair with her. He denied it then, said I was being stupid and that being pregnant had done something to my brain; that I was now imagining things, making things up.”
Diana gasped. She couldn’t believe Rodney, her father-in-law, the most sensitive man she’d met, had called Becky stupid. “I don’t know what to say, Becky. Did you leave?”
“Well, there wasn’t much I could do until my father got there. I cried myself to sleep that night. Rodney moved into the guest room. My father arrived just before supper the next day—he’d driven all night, I think. Rodney and I avoided each other. He went out to work with the cattle, yelling at the ranch hands, never came in for lunch, nothing. I started crying again as soon as I saw my daddy, and he hugged me and asked me to tell him what happened again, because he thought Rodney had left, yet he’d seen him coming out of the barn.
“I sat in that chair, listened to the back door slam shut, and realized I’d partly screwed up. You know when you say things in anger and they’re only half truths? I didn’t have time to explain, because Rodney
walked in and took in the look on my face, and my father put his hands on his hips. It was my father who said to Rodney, ‘I think we need to have a talk,’ and they went outside together.” Becky shook her head, taking on a look of sorrow Diana had never seen before.
She touched Becky’s arm, feeling her ache. “What happened? What did your father say to Rodney?”
Becky patted her arm and forced on a stiff smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. Diana could feel the moment awkwardness crept in between them. “Oh, I don’t know all of it, but we worked it out. I had Neil the next day. Rodney talked to the doctor, took me in, and the rest, well…” She swept her hand out in an overdramatic way that did little to hide her discomfort.
Diana could tell there was something she was holding on to. “What about the neighbor, June, who kept calling your husband for help?”
“Eventually, we became friends after I had a word with her, woman to woman. Whatever interest she had in Rodney, I put an end to it. But then, she was scared and young and stupid like me. The only thing was that her husband was never around, and she was looking to Rodney to slide in. Of course, he was too handsome for his own good. But enough. This is about you and my son. What you need to do is have some sex.”
“What!” Diana sputtered, staring at the smile that spread across Becky’s face. Where the hell had that come from?
“Look, you want to have this baby now, and you’re overtired because you’re uncomfortable. There’s one surefire thing that will get labor started, and that’s having good old-fashioned sex.”
Diana couldn’t believe she was having this conversation with her mother in law, Jed’s mother! It wasn’t right, and she wondered how red her face appeared, as she could feel the burning heat melting away the last of her dignity. She put her hands over her warm cheeks and couldn’t for the life of her figure out one reasonable thing to say.
“Oh, I know about these things now. Wish I had while carrying Neil, but at least I can tell you, and maybe…you know.” She glanced over her shoulder and then cleared her throat roughly. “So come on out of there. Rodney and I’ll take Danny up into that very comfortable suite above the barn. That way you and Jed can have some time alone.”
Diana unsnapped her seatbelt and then tried to step out of the truck, but she couldn’t see the running board to step down. “Oh, for the love of God,” she said. When she glanced over at Becky this time, they both relaxed and called out, at the same time, “Jed!”
Chapter 5
“I want to have sex,” Diana said. She stood in the middle of their cramped bedroom, feeling about as appealing as a five-day-old loaf of bread. She was frumpy and unattractive, and for a moment she wondered whether the horror shining in Jed’s brown eyes could have been any stronger. It wasn’t as if she was suggesting he do something he hated, like heading out to a four-star restaurant, wearing a suit and tie and behaving like a well-polished gentleman; which he wasn’t. Oh, he’d go along for Diana, but he’d complain the entire time. Right now, the impression he gave off was exactly the same. Maybe it was the notion of having sex with her, all fat and completely unsexy, that turned him off.
He was still staring at her as he sat on the edge of the bed, his shirt half unbuttoned. Then he opened his mouth, she was sure, to say something, but nothing came out as he looked away. Of course he was tired; so was she, but she was also determined.
“What?” he said, studying her as if trying to figure her out, suddenly at a complete loss.
“I know I’m not very appealing to you. I mean, how could I be, looking like this?” Damn, those were tears she felt stinging her eyes. She blinked them back, and the bed squeaked as Jed got up. He sighed as he walked toward her. She didn’t miss the way the lines around his eyes had deepened; as if the past few days had aged him, and all he’d done to help her, over the past weeks, was taking its toll on him. He put both hands on her shoulders and held her still.
“Stop right there. Diana, you’re exhausted and you want to have sex? What is this, and what’s really going on? Look at how tired you are, how uncomfortable. I haven’t pushed at all, and you want me all of a sudden?” He lowered his face until it was only inches from hers, and she wasn’t sure if he was about to shake her or hug her.
“Do you want me, Jed?” Her voice was shaky. Diana needed to know, right then, how he really felt about her, and she waited anxiously; holding her breath. She could smell his earthy fragrance. Even when he had worked in the barn, there was never a time his scent turned her off. Just being with him, touching him, she could always smell his strength; and it grounded her. She looked up to him and she loved him, and right then she was absolutely terrified that he didn’t want her.
“Diana, I love you, but good God, woman, you’re going to push me over the edge. You don’t want me pawing all over you right now—no matter how much I want you.”
“So you do want me? Even looking like this?” She gestured to her large belly and then pushed her hands into her aching back.
He let out a rough laugh. “Are you kidding me? Diana, I could never have enough of you.” He reached for her hand and linked his fingers with hers. “Come on, sit down and tell me what’s really going on.” He sat her on the edge of the bed, the springs squeaking. His jeans rustled as he crouched in front of her and put both of his large, calloused hands on her thighs.
Diana couldn’t keep from touching him as she slid her hands over his wrists and the hair covering his forearms. His sleeves were rolled up, and she could feel the muscles bunch under her touch. “Jed, I want to have the baby.” She gazed at him, and his look of confusion changed to something that seemed more like humor.
“Okay, so what does this have to do with having sex?”
“Well, I was talking to your mother….” She watched as his eyes darkened and he seemed a little wary. “She told me to have sex with you if I want to have this baby. She heard it will start labor…” She stopped talking when Jed pulled away, running his hand roughly over his head, rustling his short hair; which was already a mess from him running his fingers through it over and over.
He started pacing in front of her so much like a caged lion, his agitation now rolling off him in waves. “You talked to my mother about sex? Seriously, Diana?” Okay, he was mad. Scratch that—he was furious, and she didn’t know what to say. “What we do in our bedroom, Diana, is between you and me and no one else—especially not my mother. I definitely don’t want my mother involved in my sex life,” he growled, stopping right in front of her.
“Jed, your mother brought it up with me. I didn’t ask her and start talking about our sex life. She was trying to help because she understands my frustration and the fact I’m worrying about everything, including making you angry.”
He dropped on the bed beside her, the mattress dipping. “Diana, honey, I’m not angry with you, but if you keep talking to my mother about our intimate details; I will be.” He leaned in and kissed her, quick and swift, and then pulled away, pulling off his shirt. “Okay, get in bed.”
She looked hopefully at him, and of course he noticed, because he frowned and said, “We’re sleeping, Diana. That’s it.”
Chapter 6
Jed lay there beside Diana for the longest time. He was past tired. Maybe that was why he couldn’t sleep—besides the fact that he was so hard for his wife. The last thing he was going to do was start poking and pawing at her when all she needed to do was sleep, and relax. For the love of God, he was irritated with his mother for bringing it up with Diana in the first place. And he was shocked, since his mother hadn’t spoken one word to him about sex since he was a young teen; when she and his father had sat all three boys down and had a heart-to-heart about sex, even though they already knew everything about it from their friends, books, and the talk in and around the school hallway. None of them had said a word as each one sat, red faced, in front of their parents. Now this? His mom wanted him to have sex with his wife. It was weird, was what it was.
He wasn’t about t
o admit this thought to anyone, but, maybe for a second or two, he had been tempted to prop Diana on her side and have his way with her. Being buried inside her sweetness would have relieved him of his ongoing agony. She rustled beside him and pressed her rounded bottom against his hardness, and he groaned. He felt the instant his wife stiffened and then slid her hand back over his bare ass under the sheets, touching him.
“Diana, no.” He grabbed her wrist before she sent him over the edge and sat up, pulling the sheet over him. He rubbed his face hard and glanced down at the frown on his wife’s overtired face. Even the dark circles under her eyes were deepening to the point that he was beginning to worry.
“Jed, please, could you just try? Please, for me.” She gazed at him imploringly. “You’ll feel better.”
He let out a rough laugh, because he was struggling against the one part of his anatomy that had no business doing any thinking. Before he could do anything stupid, he yanked on his jeans, opened their door, and stormed out.
Diana wanted to cry as she stared at Jed’s sculpted back while he stormed out of the bedroom in their very quiet house. It was dim already, and a quick glance at the bedside clock had her stomach growling almost on cue. It was just after five in the evening. At least she’d had a few hours sleep. She eased her legs over the edge of the bed and struggled to her feet. Her back ached even worse than earlier. Maybe the bed was too soft and they needed a new one.
Diana lifted her housecoat from the back of the door and shrugged it on, waddling down the hall, following the trail of light streaming from the kitchen. She could hear banging and scraping, and then the fridge door closed. Diana stopped just outside the kitchen doorway and watched her husband and the darkened scowl that came over his face. Oh, he was definitely in a mood. Why wouldn’t he sleep with her? She crossed her arms across her breasts and felt her face tighten from the frown she was sure matched the one on his face.
Overdue Page 3
