“I’ll take it slow and easy. We’ll do what makes you comfortable this time. Nothing more.”
“Okay.”
“Kayla, can you take your clothes off for me?”
She lifted her gaze. “How about my shirt and pants?”
He nodded. “That’ll work. I don’t like to spank or flog anyone through their clothes. I told you that the other night.”
“Yes, Sir.” She stood and unbuttoned her shirt, wondering what he was thinking, praying he didn’t have sexual intent. She could barely handle the idea of being spanked right now. Sex was totally out of her comfort zone. And she was very much aware that although it might seem prudent to work through her anxieties about submission in the privacy of her home, at the same time it opened the door for things to escalate.
Gage gave away nothing while he watched her remove her shirt, kick off her shoes, and then wiggle out of her pants. She set everything on the coffee table and stood before him feeling surprisingly self-conscious.
“You’re shaking.”
“I’m nervous.” She watched his face.
He let his gaze roam up her body. He’d seen her similarly dressed before. Why should tonight be any different? “Nothing happens that you don’t specifically request, Kayla. I promise you that. You can trust me.”
“Okay.”
“Tell me what you need.”
“I need you to spank me, Sir.” That was exactly what she craved. She knew the release would be the best thing for her current state of anxiety, a state she’d been in for two years if she admitted it fully to herself. Sure, she’d done a few scenes, but nothing that reached deep enough to really allow her into a deep sub space where the world disappeared and left her raw with emotions that would ooze away. She longed to feel that again. She believed Gage could do it for her.
She’d been there before. It had been years. But she’d been there. And she wanted it back.
Would he lay her across the coffee table, or the back of the couch, or his lap? She shivered at the idea of settling across his knees.
“Come here.” He reached out with one hand.
She stepped up to his knees.
He set his hands on her waist. “Your nerves are palpable.”
“I’m sorry.” She tried to stand still, calm her racing heart, slow her breathing. She lost.
“You don’t need to be sorry. Just an observation. And I’m wondering what’s making you so nervous. I’ve spanked you twice before. You’ve had a setback with the flogging.” He squeezed her waist, making her feel things she didn’t want to feel, a tightness in her stomach that had lain dormant for so long she thought it would never return.
The memory of what it felt like to be a sexual being was so distant she barely recognized it.
“I want to be sure you aren’t pushing yourself too far too soon.”
She nodded. “I’m good.”
“So, in the past, you’ve been able to enter a sub space that freed you from your stress?”
“Yes.” She didn’t always call him Sir, but he never commented on it. Perhaps it wasn’t important to him.
Simon had insisted.
Gage was decidedly not Simon.
She trembled as he tugged her around to his side. “I want you to lie across my lap, baby.” His voice had changed, deepened, softened.
Kayla held her breath as she did what he said. Two years she’d been without a Dom. Two years. Gage didn’t know it, but he was the best Dom she’d been with in that time. Two spankings at the club, unless she counted the failed flogging from the other night. All the other Doms she’d done a scene or two with before approaching Gage hadn’t held a candle to him.
Both of those spankings had been in a controlled environment on a bench. Both times she was wearing a dress and thong. Gage had pushed the dress above her butt to expose her cheeks, but that had been it.
When she lowered across his lap now, her heart pounded. Perhaps this wasn’t the best-laid plan. It was more intimate, making it difficult to deny the sexual feelings she always ignored with Gage. He helped ease her across his thighs so her chest hung heavy on one side and her pussy extended on the other.
The man’s thighs were hard with muscle. He didn’t have soft spots on his body. She couldn’t reach the ground with her hands, so she grabbed his shin, proving her point. Even his lower legs were rock solid.
He set one hand on her lower back and held her steady. With his other hand, he palmed her ass, squeezing and molding her flesh while her embarrassment rose at the exposure, assuming he was intently staring at her exposed skin. His hand smoothed down until he reached her thigh, which he continued to massage in the same way.
Kayla sucked in a breath. Try as she might to keep this experience strictly based on the release she would receive from the spanking, she couldn’t control the way her pussy clenched as he stroked her thighs. Her nipples puckered and pressed against her bra. And dammit, she was wet. It was a struggle to keep from squirming and drawing attention to her plight. Her legs were separated, but not far. She wanted to squeeze them together and squelch the pressure at her sex.
“You okay?” he asked, his palm spreading wider on her lower back.
“Yes.” The word was more of a breath, and she cringed inwardly thinking she sounded needy—and not in the way she’d intended this to go.
“Safe word?”
“Red.”
“Use it, Kayla. Don’t wait until you’re falling apart.”
“’K.”
Gage lifted his hand, and she sucked in another breath, waiting for the first strike, willing it. She prayed for him to get on with it, hoping his spanking would distract her from the fact she was struggling to disassociate the dormant sexual longing from the present physical need for release. Weren’t the two things mutually exclusive? She’d always thought so. They certainly were with Simon. The bastard took what he wanted from her both sexually and physically without a care in the world for the connection.
But now, as Kayla lay across the lap of a Dom who was nothing like her ex, the line between the pulsing need in her pussy and the desire to be spanked faded.
The first strike landed on one cheek, followed quickly by a second swat to the other cheek. Gage immediately squeezed the offended flesh, switching back and forth to soothe her skin.
Kayla bit the inside of her cheek, her eyes wide as she fought to keep from moaning.
Holy fuck. Her pussy grew wetter. She slammed her legs together as the moisture seeped into her thong. Oh my God. This can’t be happening.
This wasn’t at all what she intended. She’d managed to let Gage spank her at the club without this reaction. Hadn’t she? Or maybe she’d been lying to herself. But here, in her home, across his lap, practically naked and exposed, Kayla wanted more.
She squirmed against his hand, her mind refusing to acknowledge that what she really wanted was for him to reach between her legs.
“Kayla? Baby? You okay?”
“Yes, Sir.” Her voice was weak. She scrunched up her face when she heard her tone. She sounded like a woman in the throes of sex, not one enduring a simple spanking scene.
He continued to soothe her skin, his damn palm making her want even more. She gritted her teeth to keep from speaking, unsure if she would beg him to stop, or to fuck her before she lost her mind.
Gage lifted his hand finally and tapped her thighs where they met. “Spread your legs, baby. You’re stiff.”
Kayla’s breath hitched. She was helpless to deny him. All she had to do was relax her muscles, and her legs fell open on their own, just enough to make her more aware of her pussy when the air in the room hit her wet panties. She whimpered.
“Good girl. May I continue?”
“Yes.”
He lifted his palm again and swatted her ass, lower this time, four strikes that landed at the base of her cheeks and then the juncture with her thighs.
She moaned. OhGodohGod. She was so aroused, she feared she might come. That floaty sensa
tion she hoped to acquire from the spanking, the one guaranteed to accompany a rush of endorphins, was totally not what she was experiencing. Not even close.
Nope. Kayla was so fucking aroused, she couldn’t concentrate on anything but the need growing in her pussy. And she had no intention of letting Gage know he affected her that way. She pushed on his shin, trying to lift off him. She needed to separate from him. Not fuck him. Shit.
He pressed her against his lap, however, his hand moving from her lower back to her shoulder blades. Mistaking her need for escape, he muttered, “Stay still, baby.” And in an effort to keep her from wiggling off his lap, he grabbed her thigh, the one closest to him, right at the juncture to her ass and held her firmly. His fingers landed between her legs, too far for him not to notice her wetness.
Gage froze.
Kayla stopped moving, and breathing.
“Baby…”
She listened to his breaths in the still of the silent room, shallow pants that came too rapidly.
“Kayla, do you need more than a spanking?” He slowly eased his fingers lower until he cupped her pussy.
She moaned, an unintentional noise that whooshed out of her mouth without her permission., but Lord, his hand felt so good pressed against her pussy like that. She didn’t answer him. But she doubted he missed her cues. They weren’t subtle.
Gage nudged her legs farther apart with his pinky and thumb. “You’re soaked, baby.”
She bit her lip, letting her head hang lower as though in defeat, or in reaction to having been caught keeping this secret from him.
What she didn’t do was leap off his lap and run. She didn’t push him away or squeeze her legs together. She didn’t keep him from flattening his hand over her pussy and stroking his middle finger across her clit through the thin barrier of her thong.
He kept that up, drawing lazy circles around and across her tight nub forever. Her wetness increased. She needed to come so badly, she didn’t even care that this hadn’t been in the plan. Fuck the plan. She squeezed her eyes together and let herself enjoy the feel of Gage’s fingers working their magic across her clit, his other hand splayed on her back, holding her so firmly she couldn’t move.
And then his hand disappeared from between her legs, and a sharp sting radiated up her body when he swatted her firmly at the juncture of her cheeks.
Kayla let out a sharp scream. Holy shit. Holy shit. She’d never felt anything like this before. Amazing. The combination of his firm hand landing on her ass mixed with the need soaking her pussy…
He spanked her a few more times, harder than before, and then when she thought she would implode, he reached back between her legs, yanked her thong to the side, and thrust two fingers into her pussy.
She didn’t implode. She fucking exploded. Her body grabbed his fingers and milked them, the most intense orgasm of her life sending a massive shiver up her spine. All she knew was the way her pussy continued to pulse around Gage’s hand, the way her clit throbbed in a rhythm she’d never truly known.
And he didn’t stop. He kept thrusting into her, deeper, faster, harder. He added a third finger as she came down from her high, forcing the ecstasy to stay intact, driving her need back to full speed with each thrust of his hand.
Kayla panted as her arousal built back up on the heels of that fantastic orgasm. Instead of pulling away, she attempted to buck up into each thrust of his hand, wanting more, though there wasn’t more to give.
When Gage’s fingers disappeared from her sopping wet sheath, she moaned, but it was short lived. He immediately set all three wet fingers on her clit and pressed. After only a heartbeat, he rubbed her clit firmly. His hand between her shoulder blades stroked down to the small of her back again, the pressure of his palm holding her steady to take what he offered between her legs.
She hadn’t realized she’d squirmed nearly off his lap. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the fingers. The intensity mounted with the pressure. Nothing existed except Gage and his fingers and his hands and the way he played her. And she didn’t care.
On a long groan, she reached a second climax, her body stiffening as she came for the second time against Gage’s hand. He kept rubbing her clit as she pulsed against him, not easing or slowing until the throbbing inside her subsided. When she finally came down from her second high, her body went limp, threatening to ooze off Gage’s lap and slip to the floor like jelly. Her arms and legs shook uncontrollably.
Gage lifted her in his arms and spun her around until he had her nestled in his lap. He leaned back into the couch, cradling her against his chest.
Her damn teeth chattered as though she was cold. Or in shock.
Gage grabbed the throw from the back of her couch and wrapped it around her, his huge arms tucking her solidly against him. He kissed her temple and then left his mouth against her face.
For a long time, Kayla fought to catch her breath and regain the ability to think. And then the reality of what she’d just done, allowed Gage to do, sank in. “Oh God.” She pushed against him, trying to dislodge herself from his solidness.
He held tighter. “Don’t. Don’t do it. Don’t make this ugly, Kayla. It was beautiful and humbling and sexy and so many other things. Don’t ruin it. Stay right here and let me hold you through the crash.” He kissed her temple again.
She whimpered softly, unable to fight him.
“That’s it. Let it go. It was just what you needed. Might not have been what you expected, but clearly it was what you needed.”
She breathed. That was all she could do as she followed his instructions, letting herself relax into his chest. His heart beat against hers, almost in sync. She closed her eyes and let her mind relax with her body. After a while, she must have fallen asleep, because the next thing she knew, Gage was lifting her. He carried her, as though she weighed nothing, up the stairs and into her bedroom. He pushed back her comforter and settled her under the sheet, tucking the warm blankets around her.
And then he surprised her by climbing over her and tugging her back against his chest, his arm across her middle, one leg wrapped across both of hers. He held her so tight, she didn’t have the energy to question him. A tear leaked from her eye and ran down to her pillow. She prayed he didn’t notice.
Chapter Five
When Kayla’s blaring alarm went off the next morning, she reached over and slapped the snooze button like she did every morning of her life. After she pulled her arm back under the covers, she burrowed deeper and grabbed for that extra nine minutes of sleep.
And then last night wormed its way into her brain. Kayla bolted upright, letting the warm covers fall away. She whipped her head around the room. She was alone. She listened closely. Nothing. She glanced down. She still wore her bra and panties. Her heart pounded inside her chest now that she was fully awake. Gage. Had he left?
Shit. She tossed the covers aside and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Her body ached, deliciously, every muscle tender from the scene. She winced as she slid off the bed, her ass reminding her of the swats it had endured at her pleading.
Kayla padded to the bedroom door and leaned into the hall. “Gage?”
No answer. She let her shoulders go slack. He’d left. She had no idea if that made her happy or sad. Facing him would be excruciating at the moment, but not facing him was equally maddening.
What the hell had happened?
She turned, shut off her alarm, and headed for the bathroom. As she flipped on the shower and waited for it to heat, she bit her lower lip. She watched herself in the mirror. Her hair was a mess, sticking out all over the place. Just fucked.
Except she wasn’t fucked.
So there was that. The nicest man she’d ever been with had given her exactly what she wanted, needed, asked for, and then not fucked her. Was that a good thing? Or was he not even interested in her that way?
She was the one who made it clear she needed a spanking. And she was then the one who had gotten aroused and moaned against Gage’
s lap. She had not asked him to fuck her, and he had not taken advantage.
And now she was the one who had to pull herself together and get to work where she would have to face the object of all these unanswered questions.
And again—fuck.
She moved quickly through her morning routine, showering, drying her hair, and eating some cereal she barely tasted.
She tried not to think, but by the time she got to work, she was a ball of nerves. She slipped behind her desk without making eye contact with anyone—and then she smiled. Right in the center of her desk sat her favorite coffee. And under the coffee was a folded piece of paper. Her fingers shook as she tugged the page out from under the cup and opened it.
Lunch.
Same thing he’d said yesterday. She glanced around. No one was paying attention. She couldn’t avoid him forever. The man had fixed her car and then provided her with the best night’s sleep of her life. She could surely do lunch.
After another busy morning, she had her back to the front of the office and was bent over a filing cabinet when she heard panting right before a huge wet tongue landed on her ear. She giggled as she reached out to scruff Thor under his chin. “Hey, big guy. You slipped out on me last night. Do you treat all the women that way?” The words popped out before she could convince herself to stop them. Obviously Thor’s owner would be right behind him, in earshot.
She righted herself and turned around to find Gage grinning, his head cocked to one side. “You talking to my dog or me?”
She felt the pink flush that rose up her cheeks, burning her face. And she ignored him to grab her purse. “Where’re we going?” she asked to cover up her blunder.
“Deli three doors down. They don’t mind Thor.”
“Isn’t Thor allowed to go anywhere you want? He’s a working dog, after all.”
“Yeah, well sort of retired though, and I find it easier to avoid the stares.” He shrugged and led the way out the front door, holding Thor’s unnecessary leash in one hand. It wasn’t as though the dog would ever wander away from Gage. The German shepherd worshipped the ground Gage walked on. He idolized him, if that were possible for a dog.
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