by Azure Boone
Inspired, he hurried to the kitchen and brought back the broom, and used the handle to fish the offending garment up. With the speed of a caterpillar, he walked to the trash, half expecting them to launch onto his face. Why fear such a ridiculous thing? He wasn't sure, but that exact fear threatened to overwhelm him in that moment.
Before he made it to the kitchen doorway, his feet tangled in something that wasn't there. His upper body torpedoed to the floor with immense momentum, as if shoved. To his holy horror he landed with his nightmare come true, face planted in that fabric from the pits of Hell.
He tried to hold his breath too late. Instead he gasped and inhaled the scent. Scrambling to his feet, he induced a series of loud gags. Maybe he could stop the contamination from fully entering and defiling his physical temple. My God what had he done?
It was too late. The scent was there. And it lingered in his nostrils and no doubt forever in his psyche. He spun left, then right, heart pounding. What to do? How to clean?
Tearing his clothes off as he ran, he jumped in the shower, turning the water to ice cold. Frantic, he let it fill up his nose. He sputtered and choked when some made it into his windpipe. Eyes tearing, he welcomed the burning sensation, spewing out the filthy memory.
The light bulb moment hit rather bluntly and Troy felt incredibly foolish for not recognizing the real wickedness. The evil wasn't in the scent of those panties. It was everything else about them, what they stood for, what that woman reduced herself to because of that life.
His breathing slowed a bit as he realized even more. What he'd smelled was innocence exploited. The most precious thing God had given a woman to give to a man she loved.
What he'd smelled was--or at least should have been considered--divine.
That was a tall order for his body. He shuddered at the idea of considering that scent in a divine light. Another light bulb moment hit him. He shut off the water, contemplating it, not happy. Ashamed. He'd become tainted by the sin. And had forgotten the truth. Like the stigma of a black cat.
There was nothing unholy about a black cat. Or any other object used for sin.
Troy stood in the dripping silence, in his stupidity for a few seconds. How had he slipped into that ignorance? That stigma?
The scent on the panties was no more sinful than the pussy cat.
He froze in horror and bit his lip. Did he just use that filthy term? My God! Maybe hanging on those street corners was rubbing off on him slowly? Maybe he was becoming subconsciously desensitized by the seducing spirits there?
Troy grasped logic once more. The bottom line hadn't changed, vulgar terminology or not. Vaginas were good, not evil. Babies came from them—life. So everything about them was wholesome and good.
His mind suddenly remembered. The dream. Oh God!
He turned the shower on full force and jumped under the ice cold spray. But it was too late. His body made the connection and responded.
The scent in the panties was the exact same from the dream! He'd never been so painfully aroused in his life. Oh God it was intoxicating!
It's not a sin. It's not a sin. It's not a sin.
He held himself in an attempt to stop his male organ from growing. He gasped at the sensation his touch brought, and like a needle being plunged into his arm, his eyes rolled in his head as pleasure raced its toxin into his body.
It's not a sin…it's not a sin…it's not a sin…
He couldn't stop himself as he stroked to the tune, heat building like a tsunami of lava. The looming ecstasy drove all thoughts away, leaving only that amazing feeling he'd had in that dream. He was between her legs again. God yes, tasting her and smelling her, then devouring. She was sweet and salty. Her moans were angelic. And her pleasure was what he was born to bring, her cries in climax.
For the first time in his life, he broke the commitment he'd made to himself…to God. To never indulge in what caused men to become depraved enough to exploit women. But as his moans of awe and raw lust filled the shower in orgasm, he knew. It was all part of another lying stigma.
Pleasure wasn't bad. Exploiting women, anyone, for pleasure was the true evil.
God, he'd never do that.
****
Regretfully, Devyn shut the water off before it could get too cold. Maybe someday she and Karly would have a place where they could spend more than five minutes each in the shower and still have plenty of hot water. That wouldn't happen on their current path, though.
She dried off, then wrapped the threadbare towel around her hair. Rather than look like a stripper headed to work, she would wait until she reached the Castle to do her hair and makeup. For the moment, just clean and dry was sufficient.
An unfamiliar metallic glint caught her eye as she passed the spotted and blackened old mirror over the sink. Fear froze her rigid as she stared at the deep glow of gold at her throat. The crucifix. She held on to the sink, feeling dizzy, replaying how she'd stashed it in the box where she kept her panties and extra bra.
Was she sleepwalking? Obviously she had to be. Necklaces didn't walk themselves out of boxes and attach themselves to people's necks. The urge to rip it off warred with her need to have it. If so many damn horror movies didn't involve crucifixes with unreliable power that seemed to only piss off shit that shouldn't exist, maybe she wouldn't be freaking the fuck out.
She'd been having bad dreams. Maybe she did put the crucifix on while she slept, since wearing it seemed to calm her.
She fought the hesitation, took it off again and dropped it on the shelf. The flat gold chain with its broad links, and the heavy gold crucifix wouldn't go well with her G-String and tear-away bra.
Refusing to allow the damn crucifix back into her mind, she turned to more important topics. Devyn wanted to have a serious talk with Karly while they were both calm and awake. She headed to the kitchen after dressing, planning to do just that over breakfast. Ransacking the single, nearly bare, food cupboard in their little kitchen, Devyn began converting the odds and ends she found into something edible. Stale hot-dog buns and the single outdated egg became French toast, chocolate syrup the new maple. Half dried out spam would play the part of bacon or sausage.
In the mood to splurge, she dumped the old coffee grounds, instead of just adding a new scoop, and started out fresh. Devyn looked around her. Everything in their lives was make-shift-shit. Damn! So fucking tired of pinching every single penny until it screamed! Just once, she'd like to cook an entire meal, without having to substitute cheap scraps for ingredients.
She slid the sad little chunks of French toast and fried cholesterol onto a cracked plate as Karly shuffled into the kitchenette and sank into her usual chair. Avoiding looking too closely at Karly's delicate features, still puffy from crying, Devyn took her own seat, passing a steaming mug across the table's warped surface.
Karly sipped automatically, then her eyes widened with surprise. "What's the occasion? We haven't had full-strength coffee in ages!"
How direct should she be? "Well, you're still here to drink it with me, for one." Devyn took a sip from her own mug.
"I'm sorry for putting you through that. It won't happen again." The careful control of the expression on her pale, heart-shaped face told Devyn exactly how much Karly wanted to avoid the subject of her suicide attempt. She'd prefer it forgotten.
Devyn shook her head. "Uh-uh. Not good enough. Look, I know things aren't easy. They never have been. But some things are… well, more difficult than they need to be." Shit, that sounded real wise. Like some of the idiots that worked for social services they'd always made fun of. The ones who thought skimping on dental floss was true hardship. She chewed her lip. "What I mean is, I think you should make some changes. I'm scared for you, and not just because of what you might do to yourself." There. She'd opened the door.
Tears gathered, making Karly's pale blue eyes shimmer. She took a breath, as if to speak, but stayed silent.
"Karly, exactly what's the deal wi
th you and Jake?" Just saying the bastard's name almost gagged her. "Why are you with such a low life? You deserve better."
Anger flared, flushing Karly's pale cheeks. "What are you talking about? None of this is Jake's fault. He loves me. He wants to help us both."
Karly's long-term boyfriend gave Devyn the creeps. He wasn't just dangerous, he was sneaky about it. And he resented the closeness between Devyn and Karly. "Baby, you know better than that." She took a deep breath. Hopefully what she was about to say wouldn't cost her the only real friend she had in the world. "He's using you. He hits you. We both have seen the same thing happen to other girls. He'll be turning you out, next thing you know."
Karly's face wilted with pain and the tears finally spilled over. "You're just jealous." Her tiny words barely squeaked out, colored with pain where conviction should be.
Devyn wanted to puke from agony. Karly wasn't just repeating the lie branded into her mind, but her tormented expression confirmed the worst. "He already has, hasn't he?"
Mute despair filled Karly's face. Devyn went to her, kneeling and pulling Karly into her arms. God, she wanted to kill that fucker!
Karly shook her head. "That isn't why I tried to kill myself. I can handle anything he does to me."
Devyn pulled back a little, her mind racing for other clues that would push her best friend over the edge that way. "Then what?"
"He… uh…" She swallowed and half nodded her head as though convincing herself that telling was the right thing. "He wanted me to bring you in." Karly stood abruptly, trying to wipe tears without ruining her makeup. "He knows someone who wants to buy you. He tried to make me convince you…"
The cold lump in Devyn's stomach threatened to come up. How much did Karly know about what she'd done to keep a roof over their heads while Karly was laid up? Had she really paid closer attention since getting clean?
"He said you were already whoring, he should get a cut." The devastation in Karly's eyes when she looked up nearly broke Devyn's heart. "I didn't believe it at first. But I paid attention. It didn't take long to figure out. It's the only way you could keep the rent paid and food on the table while I couldn't work." Karly's arms went around her waist, hugging herself tight. "How could you keep that from me, Devyn?"
Fuck. "It was only a few times. I was too ashamed to tell you." Shame burned Devyn's face. "I couldn't have you feel guilty, and I wasn't going to let you take the money Jake offered. That came with strings attached."
"I know. But I can handle it. I've been treated as a whore half my life. At least Jake's willing to give me a little money. You're too good for that. You didn't come from that kind of life. When Jake told me I had to bring you to him, or he would put you in the hospital, I knew I had to end it. If it hadn't been for me and that stupid tubal pregnancy, you never would have had to do that, and Jake wouldn't have gotten the idea."
For a while, Devyn just held Karly, both crying with the realization they'd crossed that line they'd sworn they never would. Back when they shared a room in the foster home, just after Devyn's parents were killed, they'd spent hours dreaming of the future. Neither of them had imagined such a nightmare. Devyn shuddered to think just how much worse it could get. Devastating as it was, simple prostitution was nothing compared to the other horrors that awaited young women without a safety net.
When the tears faded, Devyn pushed Karly's curls back from her forehead. "You can't go on like this. You have to end things with him."
Karly nodded. "I'm scared."
"I know. I am, too." Devyn hated admitting to being afraid of any man, but the savage glint in Jake's eyes terrified her. "I'm right here with you, and I won't turn away. We'll get through it together."
"He'll kill us."
"No! He won't." The cold lump of dread settled back in the middle of her chest. He might. "We'll do whatever it takes."
Life in a new city started to look more appealing than frightening. If things got bad enough, nothing held them down. They could go anywhere, do anything.
God why was he so nervous? He forced eager joy into his smile as he held out a flyer to a passing girl. "Hey would you mind—"
"Fuck off!" Palm to his face.
His smile faltered only to bloom instantly for the next group of girls approaching. They practically snarled at him before he could open his mouth. Was the spiritual barrier he'd erected too strong? Not like business ever boomed for him. He sighed and paced the sidewalk a few feet, watching the crowd slowly grow for the Friday night sin-a-thon. The way people avoided him, he might as well have worn a sign begging for a million dollars.
He raked a nervous hand through his hair, seeking out the petite brunette with the long ponytail. And fitted jeans. And fitted T-shirt. Good Lord! What was he doing dwelling on that woman's physique? Might as well put out a lust call. Troy countered the possibility with a quick prayer. I bind you Satan from this corner. You will not hinder God's work. You will let me set the captives free, in Jesus name, amen.
He stepped forward toward another approaching woman, flyer extended.
The moment she looked at him, her cherry red lips broke into a seductive smile. She even met him half-way and took the outstretched paper with interest. "Whatcha got here, Sugar?" She twirled a jet black curl around her index finger.
"Well," he leaned and pointed to the informative section. "I'm working on opening a place to help…" not exploited! "…women get on their feet."
Her full shiny lips tugged left with mischief, and her eyes roamed his face then continued for a full body inspection. "I could sure use some help from you baby." Her sparkling gaze met his wide one and the tip of her tongue peeked out and remained poised for attack.
"Well, it's a mind and body…um, and spiritual…"
While he spoke, she stepped closer and placed a hand on his chest. "Mind and body…" She raked long red nails over his chest. "I sure don't mind this body."
Troy stepped back, anxious to escape the sharp claws before they drew blood. Stuttering stupidly, he tripped right into somebody.
Small hands shoved him hard. "Watch it!"
He spun. "So sorry." Oh crap. The girl who'd haunted his dreams stood right there. Right in front of him. With no name. His heart ran in circles. "Um, hi. You okay? I mean…"
"Who's your friend?" The tiny blonde girl on her right aimed a questioning smile at Troy before gasping, "Devyn, is he the Good Samaritan?"
Devyn. Okay. Wait. Good Samaritan?
Troy held his hand out to the petite blonde. "I'm Troy. It's a pleasure meeting you."
The girl giggled and bit her lower lip before shaking his hand like he were some strange circus celebrity. "Pleasure meeting you too, sir."
Troy stuck his hand toward Devyn, who elbowed her giggly friend and ignored his attempt at friendship. He put it in his pocket, undeterred. "Can I see you after work? I'd…like to give you a ride home. If…that's okay?"
The blonde bounced. "Yes!"
"No!" Devyn's loud correction came with a glare at the girl a few inches shorter than her. "I mean, it's fine. We don't need an escort. Thank you."
The blonde's mouth flew open and she scowled back at Devyn, then jerked her stern gaze to Troy. "Yes we do. We definitely need an escort. We get off at two."
Devyn rolled her eyes.
"Fantastic." Troy grinned at the girl who beamed and raked his body with a devouring look. "I'll…be waiting."
"Work time Karly." Devyn spun and stalked off.
The Karly girl gave him a tiny wave and mouthed a thank you before running like a bouncy teenager to catch up.
Then Troy's eyes latched on to Devyn. Really latched on. Before he could stop it, the memory of that dream hit him and his gaze lowered to the swing of her hips. Heat filled his body and face. To his horror, she turned and caught him staring!
Like a naughty child caught with his hand on his pecker, he jerked around, hiding his flaming cheeks from her. God! He could only imagine the look on h
er face. Preacher boy getting off to the little lambs. How disgusting could he get?
****
Giggling woke Troy and he snapped his head forward, realizing he'd dozed right there on the street corner lamp post. He sprung up, immediately awake. Crap. Trying not to be too obvious, he patted his pockets to be sure his wallet and keys were still where they belonged. How freaking stupid could he get?
Karly giggled again and Troy wondered if he had drool running down his chin. "Sorry, been a long day." Swiping a casual hand across his face, he cleared the sleep from his vocal chords, his gaze stuck on Devyn.
She looked down, but not before he caught a slight smile on her lips. She wore the same clothes from earlier.
His muscles slowly clenched as he imagined what she did in that club. All those sick bastards lusting after her.
"Good Samaritan sleeping on the job?" Devyn met his gaze head-on for the first time that night. Her eyelids seemed heavier. Was she high? There was something else about those windows to her soul. Sparkly. And…Wow, what were they…Light grey? Amazing.
"I think he's twitter-pated." This from a still-giggling Karly.
"Oh, sorry, it's just…her eyes are…unusual." He cleared his throat, trying to pretend his cheeks weren't blazing again.
"You think they're pretty?" Karly all but fluttered her own eyelashes at him.
"Karly!" Devyn nearly growled.
Troy grinned at the cute sound. "I'm parked next to the coffee shop."
Karly bounded up to Troy. "Well I'm ready!" She latched her arm covetously in his.
"So am I." Devyn began walking ahead and Troy quickly followed with Karly hanging on his arm with an excited squeal. Was he that amazing? What had Devyn told her about him? Apparently good things, thank God.
The walk to the coffee shop was filled with Karly's chatter.
"Soooo, you're a preacher?" She didn't seem to realize how completely inappropriate it was to boldly explore his biceps with a hand while they walked.
