by Anne Mather
‘Cute.’
Jake turned back to the hovering child. ‘Better get your lungs into gear, mate. That light might prove a bit difficult unless you start practising right now.’
Lachlan scampered off, the bounce in his step stirring Ashleigh deeply.
‘He’s a nice little kid,’ Jake said into the sudden silence.
She raised her eyes to his, catching her bottom lip for a moment with her teeth.
‘You left without saying goodbye,’ he said. ‘I was worried about you. Where have you been?’
‘I needed some time alone. I went for walk on the beach.’
‘I’ve told your family of our plans.’
‘Our plans?’ She sent him an arctic look. ‘Don’t you mean your plans, meticulously engineered so that I have no way of extricating myself?’
‘You know, Ashleigh, I don’t quite see what all this fuss you’re making is about. You were desperate for marriage all those years ago and now I’m offering it you want to throw it back in my face. What is it with you?’
‘You’re not marrying me for the right reasons.’
‘What do you expect me to do?’ he threw back. ‘I come back to Australia to tie up my father’s estate and suddenly find I have a nearly four-year-old son to a woman who is hellbent on marrying a man she doesn’t even feel a gram of attraction for.’
She blew out a breath of outrage, her hands fisting by her sides as she glared at him. ‘What gives you the right to make those sorts of observations? You know nothing of my feelings for Howard.’
‘Are you telling me you’re in love with Howard Caule?’
‘What difference would it make if I told you yes or no? You’re still going to force me to marry you.’
‘If he was truly in love with you he wouldn’t have exchanged you for a houseful of useless antiques,’ he said.
‘He did not exchange me for the stupid consignment! He cares about me so, unlike you, he put his personal feelings aside so I could be free. It’s called self-sacrifice, in case you aren’t familiar with the term.’
Jake gave another one of his snorts of cynicism. ‘It’s called being a prick. If he was man enough he would have been round here by now knocking my teeth out.’
‘But then Howard is not a violent man with no selfcontrol,’ she said with a pointed look.
She saw the flare of anger in his dark eyes and the sudden stiffening of his body.
‘I have never laid a rough hand on you and you damn well know it,’ he ground out.
‘Yet,’ she goaded him recklessly.
His mouth tightened into a harsh line of contempt. ‘I see what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to push me into being the sort of man my father was. But you can’t do it, Ashleigh. I am not going to do it. You can goad me all you like, throw whatever names and insults my way you want, but nothing will make me sink to that level. Nothing.’
‘Er…’ Ellie popped her head around the door, champagne bottle in hand, juggling two glasses in the other. ‘Anyone for a drink?’
Jake gave Ashleigh one last blistering look and, excusing himself, informed Ellie he was going upstairs to put his son to bed.
Ashleigh stood rooted to the spot, her legs refusing to move.
‘Trouble in paradise?’ Ellie came to her, holding out a glass of champagne.
Ashleigh stared at the rising bubbles in the glass she took off her sister and, taking a deep breath, tipped back her head and downed the contents.
‘Way to go, Ash!’ Ellie grinned. ‘God, he’s gorgeous when he’s angry. How in the world do you resist him?’
How indeed? Ashleigh thought. That was the whole damn trouble. She couldn’t resist him. Her pathetic show of lastminute spirit was all an act. She had no intention of refusing to marry him, but her pride insisted she make him think otherwise.
‘I’m going to have a shower,’ she said, handing her sister her empty glass.
‘Will I tell Jake to join you?’ Ellie asked impishly.
‘You can tell him to go to hell,’ she muttered as she pushed past.
‘Isn’t that where you’ve been all these years?’ Ellie said.
Ashleigh didn’t answer. She didn’t need to. Her baby sister knew her far too well.
* * *
Ashleigh took her time showering, trying to prolong the moment when she would join the rest of the family downstairs, champagne glasses in hand, wide smiles of congratulations on their lips.
She decided against dressing for the occasion and slipped into a pink sundress she’d had for years, not even caring that it was too tight around her bust. She dragged a brush through her still wet hair and, ignoring her make-up kit and perfume, left her room.
She was just about to go in and kiss Lachlan goodnight when she heard the murmur of voices in his room, Lachlan’s higher pitched childish insertions once or twice, and the deep burr of Jake’s as he finished the story he was reading. She stopped outside the open door, despising herself for eavesdropping but unable to stop herself.
‘I love stories about dogs,’ Lachlan was saying. ‘I’ve always wanted a puppy but Granny has al…al…’
‘Allergies?’ Jake offered helpfully.
‘Yes, I think that’s what it’s called. She sneezes all the time and has to have a puffer thing.’
‘I had a dog once…a long time ago now,’ Jake said. ‘Her name was Patch.’
‘That’s a funny name.’ Lachlan chuckled.
‘Yeah…I guess…’
‘What was she like?’
Ashleigh heard the sound of the mattress squeaking as Jake shifted his weight on the edge of the bed.
‘She was the best friend I ever had.’
‘Do you still miss her?’
‘Sometimes…’ Jake sighed and the mattress made another noise as he stood up. ‘I should let you get some sleep.’
‘Daddy?’
Ashleigh felt her breath lock in her throat and, before she could stop herself, she turned her head so she could see into the room to where Jake was standing looking down at his little son lying in the narrow bed.
‘Yes?’ Jake asked.
Lachlan’s fingers began to fidget with the hem of his racing car sheet, his eyes not quite able to meet his father’s.
‘Have you changed your mind about wanting to be a daddy?’
It seemed a very long time before Jake answered, Ashleigh thought, her heart thumping heavily as she counted the seconds.
‘I’ve changed my mind about a lot of things, Lachlan,’ he said at last. ‘Now go to sleep and we’ll talk some more tomorrow.’
Jake took a couple of strides towards the door.
‘Daddy?’
He turned to look at his son, something inside him shifting almost painfully when he saw the open adoration on the little guy’s face.
‘I love you, Daddy,’ Lachlan said.
Jake swallowed the tight constriction in his throat but, no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t locate his voice.
‘I loved you even when I didn’t know who you were,’ Lachlan went on. ‘You can ask Mummy, ’cause I told her. I’ve always wanted a daddy.’
Ashleigh hadn’t been aware of making a sound but suddenly Lachlan saw her at the door and sent her a big smile.
‘Mummy! Can I blow the light out now?’ he asked.
‘Not until I give you a big kiss goodnight,’ she said and, moving past the silent figure of Jake, gathered her son in her arms and squeezed him soundly before kissing the tip of his nose, both his cheeks and each and every one of his little fingertips.
She straightened and went back to the door where the light switch was but as she put her hand out to it Jake’s came over the top of hers and held it there.
‘On the count of three, Lachlan,’ Jake said, his voice sounding even deeper than usual. ‘One…two…three!’
The light was extinguished on Lachlan’s big puff of breath and he giggled delightedly as he burrowed back into his bedclothes.
Ashleigh
slipped her hand out from under Jake’s and met his eyes. She’d thought she had seen just about every emotion in those dark depths in the past but never until this moment had she seen the glitter of unshed tears.
‘Jake?’
He reached around her to close Lachlan’s door softly, his eyes moving away from hers.
‘Come on, your parents are waiting to congratulate us,’ he said and, without waiting for her, moved down the hall.
Ashleigh watched his tall figure stride away, the set of his broad shoulders so familiar and yet so foreign. She had shared his body that afternoon and yet he did not want to share his heart.
Did he even have one?
Or was it too late?
Had his father destroyed that, along with every other joy he should have experienced as a child?
‘Darling!’ Gwen Forrester swept her daughter into her arms as soon as she came into the lounge. ‘Congratulations! We are so very thrilled for you and Jake.’
Her father came over and hugged her tightly and Ashleigh buried her head into his shoulder, wondering if he knew how confused she really was.
‘Jake.’ Gwen started bustling about with her usual motherly fuss. ‘Come and sit down and have a drink. Mia? Get your brother-in-law-to-be some champagne, or would you prefer a beer?’
‘Champagne is fine,’ Jake said.
‘When are you going to get married?’ Ellie asked.
‘In a month’s time,’ Jake answered. ‘It takes that long to process the licence.’
‘Wow! A month isn’t very long,’ Mia said. ‘Can I be bridesmaid?’
‘Me, too!’ Ellie put in.
Ashleigh stretched her mouth into a smile but inside she felt her anger simmering just beneath the surface.
‘Will you have a big wedding?’ Gwen asked.
‘No, I don’t think—’Ashleigh began but Jake cut her off.
‘No point getting married if you don’t do it properly.’ He sent her a smile. ‘After all, Ashleigh has always wanted to be a bride, haven’t you, darling?’
She gave him what she hoped looked like a blissful smile although her jaw ached with the effort.
‘How did Howard take the news?’ Ellie asked, twirling her champagne glass in one hand.
Jake didn’t give Ashleigh the chance to respond. His smile encompassed everyone as he said, ‘He was a true gentleman. He wanted what was best for Ashleigh and wished us both joy.’
Ashleigh was sure her dentist was going to retire on the work she’d need done after this. She ground her teeth behind her smile and downed the contents of her glass, her head spinning slightly as she set it back down on the nearest surface.
‘How soon will you be able to move into the house at Lindfield?’ Heath asked.
‘It will take most of the month, I’m afraid. I’m starting work on it this weekend,’ Jake answered. ‘In fact, I was hoping Ashleigh and Lachlan would come with me. It will be our first weekend as a family.’
Ashleigh knew she would look a fool if she said she had other plans so stayed silent.
‘Are you sure Lachlan won’t be in the way?’ Mia gave her sister a mischievous wink.
‘I’d like to spend some time with him,’ Jake said. ‘I won’t let him come to any harm. The workmen won’t arrive till Monday to do the major renovations, so it will be quite safe.’ He turned to Ellie. ‘I was hoping to take Ashleigh out tonight to celebrate on our own. Is your offer to babysit still on?’
‘Sure!’ Ellie beamed. ‘Go out and have a good time. In fact, why don’t you take her to stay out all night at your hotel? Lachlan won’t wake up till morning and it’s Saturday tomorrow so there’s no rush to get him to crèche or anything.’
‘But I—’
‘I wouldn’t want to impose…’ Jake said before Ashleigh could get her protest out.
‘Rubbish!’ Gwen joined in heartily. ‘Go on, the two of you, have some time to yourselves. After all, four and a half years is a lot of time to catch up on.’
‘Thank you,’ he said and turned to face Ashleigh. ‘How long will it take you to get ready, darling?’
How about another four and a half years? she felt like retorting.
‘Five minutes,’ she said and left the room.
‘You’re very quiet,’ Jake commented once they were on their way to the city a short time later.
She swivelled in her seat to glare at him. ‘How could you do that to me?’
‘Do what?’ He flashed a look of pure innocence her way.
‘Act as if you’re the devoted fiancé who can’t wait to get me all alone.’
‘But I can’t wait to get you all alone.’
She sucked in a shaky breath as his words hit home, her stomach doing a crazy little somersault.
‘That’s beside the point…’ She floundered for a moment. ‘You had no right to pretend everything is perfectly normal, that we’ve patched things up as if the past didn’t happen. Quite frankly I’m surprised my family couldn’t see through it.’
‘I had a long talk with your father before you came home,’ he said. ‘I told him I’d changed my mind about marriage and that I wanted to be a real and involved father to Lachlan. I also told him that I would look after you, provide for you and protect you.’
She folded her arms crossly and tossed her head to stare out of the passenger window. ‘No doubt you threw in a whole bunch of lies about loving me, too, just for good measure.’
The swish of the tyres on the bitumen was the only sound in the long stretching silence.
Ashleigh silently cursed herself for revealing her vulnerability in such a way. What was she thinking? He hadn’t even been able to utter the words to his three-year-old son. What hope did she have of ever hearing them directed at her?
‘I saw no reason to lie to your father,’ Jake said evenly.
She frowned, trying to decipher his statement, but before she had any success he spoke again.
‘Your family want what is best for you, Ashleigh. They know that you haven’t been happy for a long time, and to their credit they are prepared to put any past prejudices they may have held against me to one side in order to welcome me into the family.’ He sent her a teasing little glance. ‘Besides, both your sisters think I’m a much better deal than dear old Howard.’
‘I wish you wouldn’t speak of him in that way.’
‘I still can’t believe you were considering marrying him.’
‘Yeah? Well, at least he had the decency to ask me,’ she threw at him resentfully.
Jake’s hands tightened on the wheel as her hard-bitten words hit their mark. He gritted his teeth against the surge of anger he felt. What did she expect? Some promise of blissful happy ever after, when all he could promise was to…was to what?
He dragged in a prickly breath and tried to concentrate on the line of traffic ahead, watching as each car edged closer and closer together, as if to nudge the red light signal into changing. His foot hovered on the accelerator, biding his time to go forward, his fingers drumming the steering wheel in increasing agitation.
All he could promise was to what?
CHAPTER ELEVEN
ASHLEIGH was so determined she wasn’t going to say another word to Jake for the rest of the journey, if not the rest of the evening, that it took her a quite a while to realise that he hadn’t directed a single word her way for several minutes. She cast him covert glances every now and again as he negotiated the city traffic, but his eyes didn’t once turn her way and the stiff line of his mouth clearly indicated that he had no desire to engage in conversation with her.
OK, so he hadn’t appreciated her little dig about his forceful proposal.
Fine.
She could handle his stonewalling. It would make for a long and tense evening, but why should she always be the one to smooth things over? Besides, he was the one who’d steamrollered her into committing to a marriage she knew he would never have been insisting on if it wasn’t for Lachlan’s existence.
How was
that supposed to make her feel? He hadn’t even tried to pretend to have any feelings for her, other than displaying his usual rampant desire which he no doubt felt for any woman between the ages of nineteen and forty.
Admittedly, he’d somehow convinced her family that things were now all rosy and romantic between them, but she knew that was probably because Howard had always seemed to them to be not quite the right partner for her. Her parents, of course, had known better than to say so out loud, but Mia and Ellie hadn’t abided by any such polite boundaries. The open joy on their faces as they’d toasted her engagement to Jake that evening was testament to their relief that she had finally come to her senses. But exactly what was sensible about marrying a man who not only didn’t love her but loathed the whole notion of marriage and family life?
The hotel valet parking attendant greeted Jake by name as he drove into the reception bay. Ashleigh stepped out of the car when one of the uniformed bell boys opened her door for her and stood waiting for Jake, who was exchanging pleasantries with another staff member.
‘I’ll have the young lady’s luggage brought up to your room immediately,’ the young man said as he took the keys from Jake.
Ashleigh gave an audible snort. Her small tote bag could hardly be described as luggage; she’d barely put a thing in it besides her cosmetics purse and her oldest, most unflattering, nightgown. If Jake thought he was in for a hot night of passion with her in his hotel bedroom he could think again.
‘Will you require a reservation for dinner in the restaurant this evening or will you be ordering room service, Mr Marriott?’ The concierge asked as they approached reception for Jake to collect his mail.
‘Room service will be fine,’ Jake answered without even consulting Ashleigh. ‘Were there any messages left for me today?’
The concierge handed him two or three envelopes. ‘That’s all so far. Is there anything else we can do for you, Mr Mar-riott?’
‘Yes.’ Jake’s mouth tilted into a smug sort of smile. ‘Have the bar send up a bottle of your very best champagne and two glasses.’
‘Right away, Mr Marriott.’ The concierge’s eyes went to Ashleigh, standing rigidly to one side. ‘May I ask, are we celebrating something special this evening?’
