‘Interesting. I’ll see if I can put someone on him.’ He fired off a quick text. ‘Thanks, Misty, that’s really helpful.’
Alex’s team won. Of course. They went out immediately afterwards with the Texans to commiserate with the losers so I didn’t see Alex again until evening. By then my mum and dad, to whom I had broken the news about my soulfinder the night before, had arrived in a flurry of concerned parenting. It wasn’t exactly a relaxing night off for us both in prospect.
Dad booked a table for our get-together where they were staying. I had managed to persuade them to meet us there so at least I could have the walk over the river to the Old Mill Hotel in which to prepare Alex for the grilling that was in store. It felt a little like the walk into an examination hall for a paper that I hadn’t revised. I didn’t know how they would react. Dad was usually laid back but Mum could be unpredictable.
Alex scooped me up when he saw me waiting for him on the low wall outside King’s College, hugging me tight. ‘Hi! How was your afternoon?’ His face was still reflecting his astonishment that we’d found each other, a soft glow in his expression as he looked at me. We didn’t quite have our moves sorted. Should we kiss? By silent agreement, we went for playful.
‘It was no fun without you,’ I admitted.
He spun me round once and put me back down. I added effortless strength to the things I liked about Alex. ‘Ready to face the lions?’
‘You feel it too?’
‘I’m not stupid, Misty. I’d be running for the hills if I could avoid it.’
‘Hate to break it to you but you’re in the wrong city for hills.’
‘Do you think they’ll like me?’
I started walking and he fell in step. ‘How can they not? I just hope you like them. You’ve met my Auntie Opal. Mum is her big sister. They’re pretty alike in that they both can be intense.’
Alex was taking in all this family dynamic stuff with a bemused smile. ‘What’s her gift?’
‘Seeing through things.’
‘Like?’
This was the embarrassing bit. ‘Walls and so on.’
Alex was quick to grasp the connotations. ‘It’s the “so on” I’m worried about.’ He peered down the front of his jacket. ‘Phew, clean on this morning. She sounds scary.’
‘Tell me about it. But she has her gift under strict control. You don’t have to worry about her peeking.’ Not unless she employed the motherly trump card of ‘but I was so worried about you!’ which she occasionally applied to breaches of my privacy. He didn’t need to know that.
‘And your dad, the non-savant?’ Alex threaded his fingers through mine, letting our arms swing loosely between us. We were following a parallel path to the one we had taken the night before, crossing the river by the punts near the Fen Causeway road bridge. With few tourists up for a chilly river excursion, the empty, flat-bottomed boats huddled together at their moorings like a huge wooden piano keyboard. If you jumped from one to another, would they play a tune? I mused.
‘You’ve gone very quiet,’ said Alex. ‘What are you thinking about?’
‘Sorry. I got distracted.’ I wasn’t quite ready to share my oddness with him, not when I was still in the trying-to-impress phase.
‘You were going to tell me about your non-savant dad.’
‘I’m not sure he’d like you to call him that. After all, most people out there aren’t savants.’ I gestured to the crowds crossing the bridge, the cars whizzing by as they avoided the city centre—life in full flood on a Saturday evening.
He squeezed my knuckles lightly with his fingers, a gesture of understanding. ‘You’re right. What about the normal one in your family?’
I smiled at that. ‘He works for a telecommunications firm in London. He’s patient with the rest of us but we have to remember not to let him feel left out. I think he often does.’
‘OK. I see. So he might be easily offended on that subject. Does he mind about soulfinders? It could be intimidating for him realizing that your mum, you know …’
‘Luckily he’s very secure about who he is and Mum is very level-headed. She won’t go dashing off on a whim to find her match when she knows the value of the one she has at home.’ At least I hoped so. No child could control what happened in their parents’ marriage. I think Dad just didn’t realize the strength of the bond my mum had given up for him; if he did, he might be more concerned. What’s that old saying? Ignorance is bliss? In this case it was true. I would have to be careful what I said about my own feelings tonight in case it put pressure on Mum and him.
‘Nerves are getting worse.’ Alex rolled his shoulders as we approached the bright lights of the hotel. He was wearing his chocolate leather jacket tightly fastened against the cold. I paused at the door of the restaurant to fulfil a dream.
‘What are you doing?’ Alex looked down at my fingers.
‘Do you know how tempting these zips are?’ I did up the breast pockets, then slid them open again.
‘You crazy girl? They’re just zips.’
I tapped his chest. ‘On this jacket, worn by this boy, they are pure temptation and I couldn’t resist. I’ve been thinking of doing that since I first saw you in it.’
His smile broadened and he moved a step closer. ‘Have you now?’ His voice had dropped into dangerous, can’t-wait-to-get-you-alone territory. He put his mouth to my earlobe and nuzzled. ‘Do you want to hear some of my thoughts about what I’d like to do to you?’
I couldn’t get away with a lie. ‘Yes.’
He touched my ear lightly with the tip of his tongue. ‘I start by—’
Misty, there are two things you should know. My mother’s voice reached me telepathically. First we are waiting for you, and second our table is by a window with a good view of the entrance.
‘Alex, my parents can see us.’
Alex froze, lips having reached the corner of my jaw. ‘That’s not good.’
‘No.’ I gave a nervous giggle.
‘So what now?’
‘We go in and pretend they didn’t notice us.’ I took his hand. ‘Ready?’
My parents stood up when we arrived at their table. They had already opened a bottle of wine; it was half gone and I noticed Dad’s glass was almost empty. He didn’t usually drink very much at all so I guessed we weren’t the only ones feeling anxious.
Mum gave me a tight hug. ‘Stunning, Misty, he’s absolutely stunning,’ she whispered in my ear. ‘And Uriel promises that he’s a really nice young man, which is all I’m worried about.’
‘Thanks, Mum.’
Dad was regarding Alex suspiciously. He held out a hand. ‘Alex.’
‘Mr Devon.’ I gave Alex points for keeping eye contact as they shook hands. ‘It’s a pleasure to meet you.’
‘We’ll see.’
‘Dad!’ I gave him a reproving kiss on the cheek. ‘Don’t be like that, please.’ My plan for Alex to fall in love with my family as part of my package deal looked wildly over-optimistic.
Dad refused to let me sit down with just a kiss. ‘Come here, darling.’ He hugged me, pulling my head to his shoulder. ‘You don’t have to do it this way, Misty. You know that, don’t you?’ He meant that I didn’t have to follow the savant script and accept my soulfinder as my destiny.
‘I realize that, Dad. Please, just give Alex a chance.’ We took our places, Dad sitting opposite me. We were allowed a reprieve as we placed our orders but I knew the questions would start soon. There were a few exchanges on the menu choices but then my father got down to business.
‘So, tell us about yourself, Alex. What’s your family like?’ Dad asked, more in a cross-examination tone than the light chit-chat suited to what was supposed to be a getting-to-know-you meal. ‘Savants, I suppose?’
The waiter returned and put my salmon starter in front of me. Sorry about this, I told Alex. Dad’s taken it worse than I expected.
‘I don’t know much about my family, sir.’ Alex leaned back to make room for the waiter t
o deliver his soup. ‘Thanks.’ The waiter retreated, probably sensing that it was a good idea to take cover. ‘They left the country when I was about three. I was taken in by social services and lived in a series of placements in foster families until I went to my current school.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ said my mum. ‘So your parents didn’t keep in touch?’
‘No. They didn’t like the way I turned out.’ Alex stirred the soup, not making much progress on eating.
I rearranged the food on my plate. It was unfortunate that my presence put a damper on Alex’s gift for charm as he was making little headway persuading my father to think him a good thing in my life. The problem for Alex was that he had to carry the burden of my dad’s misgivings about the whole savant world. To my father, I was first and foremost his little girl; he could tolerate savants while they remained amusing extensions of my mother with minimal effect on his immediate family, but now I looked set to live my life according to a weird genetic pairing he didn’t understand, he was worried and a little angry. How could I counter this? I tried to play up the achievements in ordinary life that Dad would understand.
‘You know, Dad, Alex has been really successful at the school he attends,’ I said brightly, ‘put up a year and still coming out number one. He’s going to get a full scholarship to … well, I’m not sure which university but one of the top colleges in the world.’ We hadn’t got so far as discussing all this.
How do you know about the scholarship? Alex asked.
Part of the conversation at the barbecue I shouldn’t have overheard, I explained.
‘I imagine that must’ve been very lonely for you,’ my mum continued, casting ‘be nice’ looks at my father. ‘I’ve always been grateful to belong to a large family. I can hardly imagine what it was like being alone.’
This was turning out the exact opposite to how I had imagined this meal: my mum the ally, my dad the obstacle.
Alex gave her a grateful smile. ‘I guess I learned early on to rely on myself.’
My dad wasn’t eating a thing. ‘And now you think you can undo years of habit and bring Misty into your life?’ He ripped a bread roll apart. ‘She’s a very tender-hearted girl; she can’t flourish with someone who won’t let her lean on them and vice versa. A relationship is about mutual support, not standing apart.’
I sensed Alex’s temper was rising. He didn’t deserve this from my dad.
‘Please, Dad, don’t do this.’ I couldn’t bear seeing my father disapproving of the first major choice I had made in my life.
Alex shot me a look, warning me to keep out of this battle. ‘I didn’t say I had no experience of caring about others, sir. I have people around me whom I think of as family. I can certainly learn to look after someone else. I promise you that Misty’s happiness will come before my own.’
‘Fine words. No doubt you are sincere as Misty is here and we all know what that means.’ Dad topped up his wine. ‘But you are so young, both trapped by this thing between you. It’s not healthy.’
‘Mark,’ pleaded my mum.
‘No, Topaz, I’m going to have my say.’
‘But with Misty at the table, you know you won’t say it delicately. It will sound like you are attacking Alex, and none of this is his fault.’
That’s me: the baseball bat of tact. ‘Shall I go outside for a moment?’
‘No, Misty, stay and hear what I’ve got to say. It concerns you and your future.’ Dad took a mouthful of Sauvignon and swallowed. ‘I’m not attacking you personally, Alex. I’ve had my doubts about some of the ways you savants behave for a long time and now there’s this murderer among you, my misgivings have got more severe. Your community encourages unhealthy fixations. It’s not good how you have this power and no accountability. I believe you’ll find this criminal is warped by the fact he has this ability that sets him apart. You’d do better rejoining the mainstream, forgetting this soulfinder business and living ordinary lives that don’t breed this kind of perversion.’
My mum’s mouth had fallen open. ‘Mark, I didn’t know you felt this way.’
‘Well, Misty hasn’t been at home to make me as frank about my thoughts, has she? And that’s another thing: as I see it, your gift has only brought you misery, Misty. You’ve moved from school to school, never being able to outrun its problems, being bullied for being different.’
I hadn’t wanted to tell Alex about the bullying: it made me sound so pathetic.
My dad wasn’t finished. ‘I thought you might grow out of it but it’s getting worse as you grow older. I wish you could just switch it off.’
Inside, I was reeling. I understood that Dad’s worry for me and my brothers and sisters was boiling over. It was also partly defensive because, with Crystal identified as a soulseeker, he had to be more concerned about his own marriage than he had let on. Yet, it sounded very much to my ears that he didn’t like me—not the way I was. I hadn’t realized. He had always treated the bad sides of my gift as a joke, waving away my numerous embarrassments.
He hadn’t finished. ‘Now you turn up, not even seventeen yet, and say your genes or whatever have put you together with this stranger. He seems a nice enough boy, but I don’t believe in arranging your future like that. He needs to earn the right to be with you, not have you handed to him on a plate. You deserve more than that.’
‘Have you finished your starters?’ asked the waiter, seeing none of us were eating.
‘No, not yet. Please, give us a moment,’ my mum said, a definite edge to her voice.
The hapless waiter quickly retreated behind the serving screen.
I didn’t know what I was feeling. Yesterday had been the best day of my life; today was coming out close to the worst.
Mum took my hand. ‘Have you quite finished, Mark?’
Dad gave a curt nod and took a bite of his meal.
‘Then let me have my say. Alex, I am delighted to meet you. Please, forgive my husband if he sounds like he has no wish to welcome you to our family. It’s hard for him.’
‘You can’t go around apologizing for me,’ grumbled my dad.
‘When you don’t realize how rude you are being, I will damn well make your apology for you.’ Even such mild swearing was unheard of from my mother; my dad’s eyebrows winged up. ‘Give him time, please, Alex.’
‘But he’s right that I don’t deserve to be allowed into Misty’s life without earning my place,’ said Alex quietly. ‘Misty is a gift, not an award I’ve won.’
‘It’s sweet of you to put it like that, but no one earns places in our family; they are given one because we want to make them feel at home. It might mean we all need to shift up and make adjustments, but that is what we do. I’m sure Mark will remember that when he thinks about it.’ She turned to me, hand gently cupping my cheek. ‘And Misty, your gift is part of you. We know it sometimes causes you grief but one day my hope is that you will find it a strength. I wouldn’t change it; it makes you you: a refreshingly honest girl. Your dad loves you too, just as you are.’
‘Of course I love her!’ spluttered my father. ‘I just want to spare her the pain of being a misfit.’
‘Don’t use that word about our daughter! Mark, you see it as an add-on; I’m trying to tell you it is integral to who our daughter is. You can’t love one and dislike the other.’ My mum pointed at his heart. ‘It’s important you understand this, or what are you going to do when the others reach Misty’s stage in life?’
My brothers and sisters were still too young to worry Dad, though Gale with her gift for anticipating the contents of examinations was likely to soon cause headaches as she was earning an undeserved record for cheating. I really thought this was a conversation that they shouldn’t be having in front of my new soulfinder, but Alex showed no signs of wanting to bail. At least the target had moved from him to my father.
‘But wouldn’t Misty be better off just being … ’ Dad searched for a word and chose the wrong one, ‘normal?’
‘Y
our daughter can’t be normal, Mark. You’ve had sixteen years to get to grips with that fact.’
‘But now it makes her a target for this killer. If she didn’t have this savant label hung round her neck, she’d be safe.’
‘Don’t fool yourself. No life is completely safe.’
‘But a savant’s life has more risks attached.’
‘So does a fighter pilot’s but you wouldn’t argue that an air-force recruit shouldn’t aspire to defend us.’
‘I might, if the recruit was my own child.’
‘Then you’ll never let them be fully adult. Parenting is about knowing when and how to let go.’
‘But I bloody well don’t want to let go and see her fall into the wrong hands.’
I rubbed my sweating palms on my knees. Sorry, Alex.
Don’t be. I get where your dad is coming from. It must be terrifying for him.
You’re kinder about him than I can be at the moment. ‘Dad?’ I broke into their argument.
‘Yes, darling?’
‘Do you really think I’d be better without my gift—not just the truth thing but the telepathy and the telekinesis and so on?’
He looked uncomfortable, reducing his seeded roll to crumbs. ‘I suppose if I could pick and choose then I’d be happy for you to have those other aspects, but I know it hurts you when the truth-telling makes things go wrong.’
‘But it hurts more to be told I’m not the daughter you want.’ I could feel tears gathering at the back of my throat.
Sweetheart, he loves you, said Alex.
Dad swallowed. ‘I don’t mean it like that.’
‘Don’t you?’
‘If you saw your child heading into danger, wouldn’t you try to stop her?’
‘I don’t know. In this case, I think if I knew she had to take that path, I might ask to go along with her and see if I can help.’
Dad subsided into a dark silence.
Predictably, the rest of the meal was horrible. I was hurt; Alex was probably wishing he’d never met me and my family; my mum was embarrassed; and Dad was alone in Fort Normal Person thinking the rest of us needed to come on inside. Our goodbyes in the foyer didn’t solve anything. Dad gave me a longer than usual hug, but he couldn’t take back what he’d said. That’s the problem with my gift: there’s no defence like you hear politicians use: I was misunderstood, I misspoke, or my remarks were taken out of context. I megaphone the truth, leaving no one in any doubt of what was said and what they heard.
Misty Falls Page 14
