Raphael closed his eyes and sank to the floor. “Dear God,” he prayed, “if You can hear me, please, please don’t let the innocent people of Earth die because I’m imprisoned here and unable to hold back the spread of disease. And, if it is in Your heart, please let Israfel know that I’m okay? Amen.”
Opening his eyes, Raphael ignored the tears of frustration and worry that pricked at them, pulled the tray of food and water to him, and began to eat. There wasn’t anything else he could do.
HANIEL found Michael in his apartment in the converted house Michael owned on the outskirts of Salem, Oregon. Haniel tapped politely on the front door, then entered the apartment and looked with a raised eyebrow around the austere room that was Michael’s home.
“All this time on this world and you have collected nothing of emotional or sentimental value?” Haniel asked by way of greeting.
Michael started from his chair at the kitchen table, astonishment all over his face. “Haniel. What brings you here?”
“Many things. But I am curious—why do you not have anything that is of sentimental value?”
Michael shrugged and looked away. “They die. Why should I keep things that remind me of my loss?”
Haniel regarded Michael with narrowed eyes. That answer had told him everything he needed to know. “Michael,” Haniel said, his voice gentle, “death is not always the end. As you well know.”
Michael shrugged. “It is unimportant, however. What can I do for you?”
“If that’s how you want to play it….” Haniel took a deep breath. “Michael, you are in pain. You miss Gabriel. He misses you. The two of you need to sit down and talk. He doesn’t want to lose you and you don’t want to lose him. But you need to establish a dialogue and move on together.”
Michael frowned. “The matter is well in hand. I thank you for your interest, but it is not any of your concern.”
“Actually, it is my concern.” Haniel frowned as well. “I am the Archangel of Love, Michael. And you two love each other. Do not make me get God to order you to go over and fix things with Gabriel. I will do it, you know.”
“You will do no such thing!” Michael looked aghast. “God does not need to be bothered with this.”
“Then sit down, shut up, and listen.” Haniel glared.
Michael opened his mouth to protest, then did as he was told, clasping his hands together in his lap.
Haniel drew up a chair and sat down across the table from Michael. In a gentler voice, he said, “Michael, Gabriel loves you. I know you love him. The two of you are very different in some ways—he is gregarious, outgoing, impulsive, sensual, and a bit of a brat. You are reserved, shy, quiet, and serious. But you are both very similar in a lot of ways. You’re both passionate about those that you love, you both believe in your duties, you both want to protect and guide humanity and save the planet. You both love and care for each other, you both desire each other, and most importantly, you both trust and like each other as individuals. Too many relationships falter and fail because actually liking one’s partner isn’t a constant. People change, and sometimes, those changes are ones that aren’t appreciated.”
Michael looked at Haniel in confusion. “May I ask a question?”
“Of course.”
“How can you love someone if you do not like them? I do not understand.”
Haniel sighed. “Love is a very simple thing. Love forgives a multitude of sins and transgressions, but enjoyment of someone’s company and liking their personality… that isn’t so forgiving. You are conservative and traditional in your outlook on life and relationships, and Gabriel, believe it or not, is as well. I mean, you’ve got rings to symbolize your union. You haven’t bonded yet, because you both want to be totally sure that it’s the right thing to do. You have a home you share, and you keep this one here for work purposes. Answer me true, Michael, do you not miss him? It has, after all, been a week since you last saw him.”
In a very small voice, Michael said, “Yes.”
“Then go to him.” Haniel reached over to touch Michael’s shoulder. “Talk to him. He’s in pain, you’re in pain. Go to him and be reunited.”
Michael bit his lower lip, silent for a while. Haniel watched him, waiting patiently for Michael to speak.
Finally, after nearly an hour of silence during which Haniel fancied he could see the cogs turning in Michael’s brain as he thought things over, Michael said, “All right. I will go and speak to him now.”
“Good.” Haniel smiled. “Oh, one more thing. Something I want you to think about, objectively.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. Israfel. It is my thought that you see him as a sort of ‘Tabbris-lite’. That is, a shadow version of Tabbris, given to bad behavior and even worse manners. But consider, Michael—you’ve seen this in humans, among angelkind, and even here, in this house, with these resident Venatores. Just because they are close friends doesn’t mean that Israfel is a shadow copy of Tabbris, or vice versa. They’re friends, and Israfel sees something in Tabbris that no one else does. God Himself only knows what, because Tabbris irritates me on a good day. Him and Flaef both irritate me, actually, but that is neither here nor there. Just a disgruntled observation about the personalities of the two youngest angels in the Heavenly Host.”
Michael smiled at that, and Haniel continued. “But I can see that they are two very different individuals. For one thing, can you see Tabbris ever settling down into a stable, happy, monogamous relationship? Ever?”
Michael shook his head slowly. “No. No, I cannot.”
“There, you see? Already we have a difference between them. And take it from me, as the Archangel of Love, Israfel adores Raphael and vice versa. They are totally committed to each other. They love each other deeply. Israfel and Raphael are never a couple that I have to involve myself with, because they talk to each other.”
Michael looked a little sheepish. “Am I being scolded?”
“A little, perhaps.”
Michael looked down at his hands again. “Forgive me.”
“I’m not the one you need to ask forgiveness from.” Haniel stood up. “Gabriel is in Cuba right now. Go to him. Let him apologize to you and then you apologize to him. The two of you are good together. Go and talk to him, Michael.”
Michael nodded. “I will.” He paused, then looked up at Haniel, his eyes bright with emotion. “Thank you for coming, Haniel. Thank you for helping me put things into perspective.”
“You’re welcome, Michael. I hate to see you two at odds. You should be together. Happy. In love.”
Michael nodded again. “Yes.”
Haniel inclined his head. “Then go and see him, and I will return to Mumbai.”
“Go with God,” Michael said.
“And you,” Haniel said, bowing before he vanished.
REMIEL pulled a face as he sat down on the rickety stool at the dirty bar. “You chose the most… fragrant of locations for your booze binge,” he remarked as he moved closer to Gabriel.
Gabriel grunted. “What’re you doing here, Remi?”
“Clearly enjoying a whole new collection of disgusting smells. What are you drinking?” Remiel eyed the bottle of clear liquid that Gabriel was gulping from.
“Something alcoholic.”
Remiel reached over and took the bottle, lifted it to his nose, and took a delicate sniff. “This is rocket fuel, Gabriel. Or close enough to.”
“Aye, well, whatever. Don’t care.” Gabriel grabbed the bottle back and took a long drink.
Remiel regarded him for a moment. “Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?”
“Nope. And even if I was, so what?”
Remiel sighed and ordered a beer. It was brought to him in a mug that was none too clean, and he discreetly used his power to clean the glass as best as he could. “Gabe, I love you, man, but you and Michael are like the drama kings of Heaven. So you don’t agree about something. So you both said some mean things to each other. Build a fucking b
ridge, you know? Get over it. You still love him, he still loves you. The last seventy years have been hard on all of us, yeah, but you two have each other to help ease the weight.”
Gabriel sighed, toying with his bottle. “Aye, I know.”
“Okay, that was easier than I thought it would be.” Remiel took a cautious sip of his beer. Finding that it didn’t taste like swamp water, he took another drink. “So what’s the problem?”
“We’re crocodiles, Remi.” Gabriel rubbed his face with one hand. “We’re so old, we ain’t just set in our ways, our ways are fossilized.”
“Touché.”
“I ain’t good at apologies.” Gabriel sighed and took another drink. “And I know I need to apologize to him. I’m giving myself dutch courage.”
Remiel chuckled. “I see. Then I’m sorry I told you off.”
Gabriel waved a hand at that. “Nothing to apologize for. You ain’t wrong.” He was silent for a moment, and Remiel watched him, wondering what else was eating at the Archangel of War.
“I miss my kids,” Gabriel said suddenly.
Remiel could feel his eyes going wide and his expression becoming one of great compassion. “Oh, Gabe,” he said softly, scooting close and resting an arm around Gabriel’s shoulders. “You could go see them in Heaven?”
“Aye, I know.” Gabriel leaned into Remiel a little. “I just… it’s hard. And I miss ’em, Remi. So damn much.”
Remiel shook his head sadly. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” Gabriel took another long drink. “So, I guess I’m drowning my sorrows and giving myself Dutch courage at the same time. Economical of me, yeah?”
“Yeah, you’re a great economist,” Remiel teased. Growing serious again, he gave Gabriel’s shoulder a light squeeze. “Sammy, Metatron, Hani, and I made a little horse sanctuary and put wild roses and lavender around their grave.”
Gabriel turned his head and gazed at Remiel with raised eyebrows. “Huh. Okay. They would’ve liked that.”
“You’re okay with that?”
Gabriel nodded. “Aye.” He smiled wanly. “Still miss ’em, though.”
“I know.” Remiel felt Michael’s arrival through the ether and sent his thought out, asking Michael to wait outside the establishment for a moment.
“So,” Gabriel continued, oblivious, “I’ll just get drunk, then I’ll get sober, then I’ll go see Mike.”
“Okay.” Remiel stood up. “Don’t get sick when you get drunk.”
“I’ll do my best.” Gabriel tossed a lazy salute at Remiel, and Remiel quietly left the cantina.
Outside, Michael was pacing, his expression worried. “Remiel.”
“Mike, hey.” Remiel raised his eyebrows. “I think you overdressed for the occasion.” He gestured at the silver-gray silk three-piece suit Michael wore. “It’s a dive in there, and he’s getting drunk.”
Michael shook his head. “I did not want to appear without taking due care. And this is one of his favorite suits.”
Remiel smiled at that. “You two,” he said with a chuckle, “are adorable. Okay, so, Gabe’s in the process of getting drunk, and he knows he needs to apologize to you, but he’s also depressed right now.”
“Why is he depressed?” Michael grew alarmed. “What troubles him?”
“He misses his kids, Mike.” Remiel sighed.
“Oh.” Michael’s expression became sad. “I can do nothing to help him.”
“Now, now, hang on a moment. You can do heaps to help him. Go in there and be with him. Just be with him, Mike. That’ll help more than you think.”
Michael sounded unsure. “If you say so.”
“I do say so. So go in there and say ‘sorry’, and he’ll say ‘sorry’, and then you just hang out and be with each other.”
Michael bit his lower lip. “As you say.”
Remiel gestured grandly at the door. “Off you go, then.”
Michael drew himself up, looking as if he was about to face a firing squad, and opened the door to the cantina. Taking a deep breath, he stepped inside, and the door swung slowly shut behind him.
Remiel shook his head. “That’s sorted, then,” he said to empty air.
A moment later, Haniel joined him. “For the moment, yes.”
Remiel rolled his eyes. “Great.”
“They both have bad tempers, Remi. There’ll be more fights. That is their nature. But they need to be reminded that even though they fight, that does not mean they don’t love each other. That’s where we come in.” Haniel smiled.
“Okay, well, while things are contained, I’m going back to join Ish.” Remiel flared his wings. “Talk to you later, Hani.”
GABRIEL did a double take when Michael sat down beside him.
“You cut off your hair,” he blurted.
“Yes. It was beginning to get in my way. Apologies.”
“It looks good. You look good. I’m sorry, Mishka. I suck.”
“Language. And I wish to apologize as well.”
Gabriel smiled. “So we’re okay?”
Michael smiled back. “I believe that we are, yes.”
“Okay.” Gabriel took Michael’s hand in his own. “I miss my kids,” he said.
“Oh, Gabriel.” Michael touched Gabriel’s cheek gently. “Let us go to our island.”
“Okay.” Gabriel didn’t bother to make sure no one was watching. After all, the only other patrons in the cantina were an elderly man snoring in a corner and two young men thoroughly engrossed in a game of chess. No one was paying them any attention at all. Gabriel squeezed Michael’s hand and moved them from the dank and dirty cantina in Cuba to the warm, clean air of their island in the Pacific.
Once the world solidified, Gabriel pulled Michael into his arms and held him close, swaying to a nonexistent beat.
“Da bao?” The Chinese endearment was voiced with a note of uncertainty as Michael wrapped his arms around Gabriel’s neck.
“I missed you.” Gabriel tightened his hold. “I hate when we fight. I hate that you ran away.”
“I missed you also.” Michael sighed. “Forgive me. I do not handle confrontations well when they are with those whom I love.”
“You’re forgiven.” Gabriel kissed Michael’s cheek. “I’m a little drunk,” he admitted.
“I thought so.” Michael gently pulled back from Gabriel’s embrace. “Let us sober you up.”
Gabriel took Michael’s hands in his own and nodded. “Okay.”
Several cups of green tea and bottles of cold water later, Gabriel held up a hand. “Right, I feel like I’m drowning in tea and water. No more.”
“Are you still drunk? Perhaps you should have some vitamin B12.” Michael started rummaging through the kitchen cabinets.
“Michael, no, I’m fine. I don’t need vitamins, any vitamins. I’m not drunk, not anymore. I’m not sick. I don’t get sick. So there’s no need to fuss, okay?”
Michael turned back to Gabriel, a worried expression on his face. “You are certain?”
“Aye, I’m positive.”
Michael didn’t look entirely convinced, but he didn’t argue. Gabriel moved to him and rested his hands on Michael’s hips.
“I’ve been depressed all damn day,” he said, “and I’m tired of being down. Let’s go out tonight. Dancin’. You and me, a little club in Vienna, some jazz, some wine. What do you think?”
Michael smiled, placing his hands on Gabriel’s chest. “I think that sounds wonderful, da bao.”
“Then I’ll go take a shower and get changed.” Gabriel leaned in and kissed Michael, a slow, tender kiss.
“I am sorry we fought,” Michael said, his voice soft in Gabriel’s mind.
“I am too. Next time, we should try that whole talking thing before running away.”
“Next time?”
“Aye. We’ve got tempers, you and me. There’ll be a next time.”
Michael sighed into the kiss. “That is a depressing thought.”
“Just think of the making up we
can enjoy afterwards.” Gabriel pulled back, ending the kiss, and grinned.
Michael promptly blushed. “Gabriel!”
“Ah, that’s what I was hoping for. You blush like a red, red rose, solnyshko.”
“Gabriel.” Michael made a shooing motion with his hands. “Go and take a shower.”
Gabriel laughed, gave Michael a quick kiss on the cheek, and headed off to bathe.
WHEN he was clean, Gabriel selected a charcoal-gray wool suit tailored to fit him perfectly and went to find Michael. Michael was standing on the porch, his handsome face reflecting the serenity of the beach.
Gabriel moved to stand behind his lover and slid his arms around Michael’s waist, and he smiled as Michael leaned back into him, his hands clasping Gabriel’s own.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Gabriel said.
“I fear you would be paying too much.” Michael smiled and turned so he could kiss Gabriel’s cheek.
“I doubt that.” Gabriel grinned. “Shall we go dancing?”
“That sounds wonderful.”
Gabriel moved them directly to a darkened side street in Vienna, and straightened his tie before offering Michael his arm. As Michael took it, Gabriel said, “Before you ask me, aye, this is fine. No one’s gonna protest. Not in this part of town, anyway.”
“Ah, I see.” Michael hummed. “There are parts of town which the occupants would find our embrace objectionable?”
“Aye. Sadly.” Gabriel led the way down the side street to the front door of the club. “As with everywhere. Some parts of cities are okay with gay relationships; some ain’t. Humans are contrary creatures at the best of times, let alone when it comes to gay couples or lesbian couples or anything that ain’t deemed normal.”
“Prejudice is always unattractive,” Michael said.
Gabriel paid the entry fee and led Michael to the bar, where he ordered two glasses of red wine. “Let’s not talk about the bad stuff tonight. Tonight’s for us. Let’s be happy and dance and enjoy each other’s company, yeah?”
No Surrender, No Retreat Page 9
