‘Think, Lian,’ said Anna. ‘Think.’
‘Think and move,’ said Ulrich, took a deep breath. ‘I’m sorry, Jin. I pointed a weapon at you, and I...honestly? I didn’t think. You’re right, of course. You did not destroy the ships. Hush or not, it was not you. Lian?’
‘I...I don’t know.’
‘I do, Lian,’ said Anna, and took a chance. ‘I like you...you like me. We’re friends, right? Please...trust me, if nothing else. Besides, what are you going to do, right? Not like we’re going anywhere else, is it?’
Lian breathed, slowed, stopped pacing. She was quiet, and still, her shoulders hunched high and tense, and then her shoulders dropped and Anna though it would be all right. The doctor nodded.
‘Okay,’ she said.
Lian shivered now, rather than shaking, and Anna thought perhaps it was too much strain on the doctor. Most people weren’t used to so much stress, such pressure, and terrible situations where death literally waited at every juncture. But Lian wasn’t running, and that determined look was reasserting itself. Something inside the doctor was steel, for sure.
‘Thank you, Anna,’ said Jin. ‘Ulrich, Lian.’
She knew Jin spoke her name first to let her know his gratitude to her was the greatest. The Titan did not do anything carelessly, or speak without thought.
‘We should move on,’ said Jin. ‘Ulrich’s right...and you might not believe me, but I was right, too. It was not the ship which blinded me, nor the anomaly. It was the drone, and now it is destroyed I see as well as I ever did aboard Hush – as I think I would normally enclosed within the thickness of a ship’s walls. I can function again. If you will allow it.’
‘We need space. Time to think. To figure out some things. Thanks, Jin. Please. If you will. Let’s get the fuck away from here, find somewhere half-way safe.’
‘What about the ship?’ asked Anna. ‘Are we in danger from her?’
‘Best assume we are,’ said Ulrich. ‘And I think we really should have this conversation on the move. Okay? Ah...fuck, I don’t know. I’m lost. I’m sorry. I’m lost.’
‘We all are, Ulrich,’ said Anna, and laid her hand on his shoulder like he’d done for Lian. He jumped. He might not be the type to show physical affection easily, or share such comfort, but Anna understood sometimes actions really were more effective than words alone. ‘We’re all lost, but you’re right, okay? Jin’s got us, right Jin?’
‘I hope so, Lian,’ said the Titan. Maybe not the most inspiring reply, but he’d do his best, no doubt on that. None of them knew what they we’re doing here...and whatever Hush wanted, it was for damn sure it wasn’t what she said it was. And all those things considered, one other thing Anna knew without question. She’d rather have these three at her back than anyone she’d known since she was nine years old, and that was a different life that would never come again.
Hell, that was a different world, she thought, and followed the others further into the belly of the ship.
*
47.
Misplaced Gratitude
Unknown Ship
Depths
2956 A.D.
‘It is a painful admission,’ Jin told them as they moved on, ‘but I missed much in my gratitude to Hush. She’s more of a danger than we suspected...and now we know for sure.’
After a moment, in a thoughtful lull, Lian spoke out. ‘I saw what must have been hundreds of Aug soldiers in the clerestory aboard Hush. No other humans, though. No others like us. But others were woken, too. We all saw them, didn’t we? Where are they?’
Anna thought she saw where Lian was headed, and she didn’t like it...but...
‘What if...what if the Augs here are...’ The thought flitted away, just beyond Anna’s grasp, and she thought out loud to see if she could catch it, or if someone else might, because her own mind was running from the idea, rather than trying to snatch it from the air.
Ulrich, maybe, spoke harder words easier that Anna or Lian.
‘Who can say if these Augs are some creation of these ships...or of Hush?’
Lian moved closer to Anna, as though proximity might boost some kind of mental connection. Anna appreciated it because she wasn’t sure, couldn’t quite see the shape of it.
‘I asked how many died in transit,’ said Lian, her gaze distant. The memory might recent, but so much had happened. They’d lived a lifetime in the day since waking. ‘Hush said something like seventy or eighty percent. She said it was an acceptable attrition rate...but not all died, did they? I saw plenty of awakenings which failed, but some were led away. I know it.’
‘Yes,’ said Anna, while Ulrich and Jin listened patiently, but clearly sharing the same thoughts. ‘Why are we the only unaugmented humans sent to the surface...and where are the others?’
‘What else is there? It seems we all hold some piece to a larger question.’ Jin paused, and Anna halted the track-drive. If Jin stopped, they all stopped. He was their eyes.
‘Jin is unique, right Jin?’ said Lian, and Jin inclined his head in answer. ‘He doesn’t degrade. Augs do. They have external organics. They age. They must degrade. The Augs which boarded the landing craft with us...did they look especially old?’
‘They slept.’
‘Did they? Or did we? Or are we still asleep?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Those Augs back there weren’t advanced...I assumed. I made a mistake. They were new. Think about it. Hush’s mind is darker than we can imagine. She has thousands of human bodies at her disposal. She has an army any time she wishes.’
‘Nothing’s changed,’ said Anna, though her thoughts were jumbled, and unsure. ‘I want to live, and that’s what we’re trying to do, right? Nothing else matters right now.’
Anna took up the controls of the track-drive once more. ‘Jin, will you lead us? If we’re going to get through this, whatever’s the other side, we need to know why.’
Jin’s remarkable sensors lead them on for around thirty standard minutes.
Hush has an army, she thought. And she wants us dead.
She had so many thoughts right then that she could barely contain them. The minutes dragged by as they wandered the high halls of the unknown ship. She didn’t want to voice her concerns, because she had no answers and the more questions they asked, the more confusing their situation seemed.
More halls with no light. Elevators on passages which turned them around, though Jin no doubt could lead them out easily enough. He probably had a map of the place in his head, schematics growing with each step they took.
Oh, she thought, and for the first time in the ship she smiled and felt like an idiot.
‘Wait up,’ she said, and even laughed. It was just a small, shy laugh, lost in the vastness of the ship, but she couldn’t hold it in. ‘We’re walking around like we’re lost in the woods or something. We’re not lost in the woods. We’re on a ship. A human ship.’
‘I...’ said Ulrich, then he huffed – like the laugh of a man not used to laughing, and smiled. His smile was lit perfectly in Jin’s glow. ‘Oh, Anna. I get it. These ship are human. The drives, weapons, facilities...maybe they’re different, but the layout? Anna’s right.’
‘They’re basically the same?’ said Lian.
‘Yes,’ said Anna. ‘We’re walking the north aisle. Look, that’s the Nave, right? To our right? We’re heading toward the Chancel. It’s laid out like a church...just like Hush.’
‘So. This ships...if she’s alive?’ said Ulrich, still smiling, a careful, fragile thing on his weathered face. ‘The Transept should have...’
‘Food...?’ said Lian. ‘Someplace to rest? After that?’
‘Let’s worry about getting to the Transept first. Sounds like the best place to leave the track-drive and move on, if Anna’s right.’
She thought she was. She was willing to bet on it. Their lives? Not an attractive bet, but they were odd on dying either way.
*
48.
A Place for
Calm Reflection
Starboard Aisle to Transept
2956 A.D.
Anna beamed and sighed with relief when they reached the Transept. ‘Best thing I’ve seen today.’
‘Think any of this functions?’ asked Ulrich.
‘Same layout as Hush. Look. Food dispensers. Probably showers and toilets. Water.’
‘You think these ship are colony class ships? Like Hush. If there is...is there a Crypt, too?’
‘Maybe,’ said Ulrich. ‘I don’t know if I want to find out.’
‘Me either,’ said Anna. ‘There’s curiosity, and then there’s...well. We haven’t met much in the way of friendly, have we?’
Why, though? Why had the Augs in the entranceway killed Cassie without a word? If they belonged to Hush, and Hush blew them out the sky...why send them down to the surface only to kill them? If they belonged to this ship and not Hush...why? They were human, not aggressors. None of them had shown aggression toward anything since landing, and Jin only responded to their violence, and their threat of further violence.
They were Augs, and they were owned, and there was no way they had acted alone.
Thoughts for later, though. Ulrich was tired, too, and water and food sounded great to him.
‘Lian, Anna...take first shift asleep? Jin and I can watch.’
‘Why, because we’re women?’
Ulrich paused. ‘I guess so.’
‘Fuck it,’ said Anna. ‘I don’t care. Thank you.’
Lian yawned. ‘I’ll...’
‘No, you won’t,’ said Ulrich, and he didn’t intend to enter into a discussion with the doctor. ‘You’re still suffering concussion, and your meds can’t hid the fact you’ve been swaying the last leg of this walk.’
There were no beds, which along with the ship’s layout lent credence to the idea that it was a colony ship of the same, or similar, class as Hush. These ships weren’t intended to be habitable, but showers, and food dispensers, and drinking water – these things were essential for short term survival. And they still worked.
It was cold on the ship, but no worse than Hush in space, and far better than being outside. Warmer than they’d known since waking, probably. Or, they’d been so cold for so long maybe a tiny increase in warmth felt like a hot bath.
Hot bath...showers, for sure. The thought made Ulrich grin.
‘The air is fine,’ said Jin. ‘I suggest survival bags and maintaining suit power until needed.’
‘Sure,’ said Anna, and stripped off right there, stretched. ‘Fuck, it’s still cold, but damn nice to be out of that suit.’
Ulrich smiled, not at Anna nakedness, because that part of him was long dead, wasn’t it? No, he smiled because she seemed kind of like a cat, letting herself stretch, and he almost imagined her purring.
Lian was more circumspect, and seemed slightly uncomfortable, so Ulrich turned away, as though looking around.
‘Sleep,’ he said. ‘That’s an order. We’ll watch.’
‘I can watch,’ said Jin, ‘you know you don’t need to.’
‘I know,’ said Ulrich.
‘You do not trust me?’
‘You know what, Jin? I do...which is why I wanted to speak, just us, just for a while.’
*
49.
The Wood for the Trees
Transept
Unknown Ship
Anna and Lian slept. Ulrich yawned, worn to the bone. His helm was off anyway, and that was as much comfort as he allowed himself, for fear of simply falling asleep while standing.
The ship certainly was warmer than they’d know for the last day or so, but it wasn’t heated. The cold was tiring, too, but Ulrich ate and drank and that gave him a boost, though he knew it was only a short-term measure. The packets of food weren’t good, but they were designed to basically last forever. And it was food, not suit nutrients. There was something wonderful about that, so that he sighed, maybe as contented as Anna had been to stretch. Having food, something solid, something with weight in his made him feel a little more human and a little less like some weird experiment...
Which, he supposed, was what they were. The first humans to sleep for so long, to travel so far. A first for everyone.
He sat against a wall, forgetting his resolve to remain awake. He waited for Jin, who moved around outside the entrance to the Transept. Ulrich leaned back on Jin’s return so he could look up with less discomfort. Jin didn’t need to look at Ulrich, but Ulrich was human, and some things were ingrained, just as his grandfather had instilled in Ulrich archaic concepts like being a gentleman in world where gentlemen weren’t needed, or wanted. Some things just were.
‘Bear with me, Jin, okay? I can’t see the shape of this thing. Perhaps we can figure it out. I understand you’re not human, not Titan...you just are what you are. But you’re smart, and better than that, you’re a good...’ Ulrich laughed, lost for words faced with a being who had no other kin, no precedent, no box in which to settle a person’s mind. ‘Being? Singularity?’
‘Of course, Ulrich. I respect your thoughts. My feelings are similar. And what am I? I am Jin. Nothing more. It is fine, Ulrich. I am...unoffendable.’
Ulrich’s hip ached and his eyelids were heavy no matter the discomfort of being seated on a cold floor, so he pushed himself up. He was almost always better moving than sitting. Ulrich worked better on the move, body and mind both. Even when he slept, his dreams and the ache in his hip and joints woke him constantly. Movement, for Ulrich, was his natural state.
‘It knew where our ships were, and targeted us precisely...but perhaps the ships told Hush where they were. Perhaps that was the sole purpose of those ships?’
‘The drone?’
‘Perhaps the drone was capable of sending a message to Hush. Likely, even. But neither of those things are important. Hush knows where we are because we have nowhere else to go. We can only be moving between the wreck to the citadel, or dead. We have no way of knowing which Hush wants. No way...but I think it wanted us alive, and confused. Why send us otherwise? She has a purpose. I’m sure of that. I can’t see it, though.’
‘Should we ask her? If we could? Trust her or even take such a chance? It is possible this ship could maintain enough function to send out a message. There is clearly power, and perhaps even this energy reading is part of the ship. But...I think that would be a very, very bad idea,’ said Jin.
‘I do not think that wise, either, but I wanted to check with you…we all make mistakes, right?’
‘We can’t do a thing about Hush right now,’ said Jin. ‘We decide whether we want to live or die, and work toward one or the other. I enjoy being alive. I find it quite interesting. I like discovery. I like that which is new.’
‘One thing to think about,’ said Ulrich. ‘Something you said – you could see here as well as you could Hush. That means you didn’t know everything Hush did while you were aboard, yes?’
Jin fell silent.
‘I will think on it,’ said Jin, and flicked his head to the side so Ulrich would see Anna, who walked toward them. Apparently she didn’t sleep well, either. ‘It’s a valuable observation, and something I feel I should have thought of.’
‘Palaver, right?’ said Ulrich. ‘Sometimes we can’t see things because we’re too close. Because we don’t get a chance to think.’
‘What’s the story?’ said Anna, still looking tired, but as far as Ulrich knew that might be her only look.
‘Just...shooting shit,’ he said.
‘Well you look like you won. Go sleep. I’m good.’
He didn’t argue about resting. ‘Thanks, Jin. Anna...you and Jin should talk, too. If that’s okay? I think we all need to think about this. Hush was honest about one thing. She said human perspective is something denied her, and I think it’s of value.’
‘I concur, Ulrich. Please rest well.’
‘Thanks,’ said Ulrich. He paused, without looking around, and Ulrich, just like his grandfather whom had gifted him a relic o
f a knife, but his manners, his thoughts, and much of the man he was, and one of those things was an inability to express himself. ‘Thank you, Jin, for being a friend.’
Ulrich walked away. When he was gone, Anna chuckled. She’d put her suit on, but her helmet was off, and her hair was in her eyes. Sparse, thin, missing in clumps, but she was happy enough.
‘He really is a dinosaur,’ she said.
‘Anna,’ said Jin. ‘It’s 2956 A.D.. We are all dinosaurs. Mankind moved on without you or I.’
*
‘How do we know what’s true at all?’ asked Anna after she and Jin covered the same ground, trying to see everything from a new angle.
‘Truth is only a rubber band holding together the things we wish to believe.’
‘Logic,’ said Anna. ‘Logic, then.’
‘Yes,’ said Jin. ‘Logic is a piece of string. Once tied off, it will not shift. It cannot. Perception, truth, time, cannot change that.’
‘Jin, I just woke up. And I don’t mean I understand what you’re talking about. I mean I just woke up. Slow down, buddy.’
Jin laughed. For the first time, he laughed.
Lian approached, looking better than she had since the crash. Her eyes were bright and alert at last.
‘What’s the gag?’ she said.
‘Just friends having a laugh,’ said Anna. ‘Remember? Like in a bar, or a den, chilling. Remember that?’
‘I do,’ said Lian. ‘Room for another at the table?’
‘There is room for four at least,’ said Jin.
Anna thought maybe they’d become something more than crew. Friends, or at least whatever the thing was just before friendship. Respect, perhaps.
*
Ulrich rested for a couple of hours. There was no real way of knowing how long he actually slept, but it wasn’t a bad sleep. He woke from the same dream, but not to silence, like so often. This time he woke to laughter, and that was one of the best way to be woken, no doubt. Top ten for sure.
HUSH Page 18
