by Karen Anders
* * *
His diagnosis was exhaustion, mental fatigue and incomplete rest and healing of his wound. He slept for eighteen hours straight, then found out he was stuck at Walter Reed for a week. He would then be discharged and he would fly back to Coronado and stay with Rock until he was fully well and was cleared by the doctors there. Rock was in and out and his parents came to visit him.
On the third day, there was a light knock on his door and he looked up into the soft eyes of Piper.
“Is this a good time?” Her voice was so soft, so unsteady, he could barely hear her. “I can come back,” she said, taking another uneven breath when he didn’t answer.
“No,” he blurted out. “Now is fine.”
As if bracing herself, her voice stronger, she said, “I wanted to thank you.” Her voice caught. “I was pretty much wrung out when we last talked...and you left before...before...” She paused, and Dex knew she’d been crying. He felt torn up inside. “I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you got dragged into my mess.”
Her voice was doing painful damage to his heart. Clenching and unclenching his jaw, he reached down deep for an easiness he did not feel. “Hey, Senator,” he said gruffly. “All in a SEAL’s day.”
“It meant something,” she said, the same heart-wrenching catch to her voice. “You were always there when I needed you.”
She walked to the open closet door where his two uniforms were hanging. Rock had gotten him his military gear to fly home. She stared at them, then reached out and ran her hand over the fabric, clutching it. He looked away.
A funny, uncomfortable sensation coursed through him. He blinked a couple of times and stared at the ceiling, his insides going dead still. Another woman was leaving him. But this one, this woman, mattered the most. His other relationships paled in comparison and it hurt so damn bad.
She approached the bed and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hang on to the pressure in his chest.
“I’m glad I was there for you, Piper. I’m glad that you’re safe. No thanks are necessary. I would have done it for anyone. Protect the weak. Defend the innocent.”
She smiled then and his heart rolled over. “Goodbye, Dexter,” she said, bending down and kissing him on the side of his face. “Sois prudent, mon amour,” she whispered, then rushed out of the room.
Feeling as if he’d just taken a blow to the heart, Dex dragged his hand down his unshaven face, his throat cramped up, his eyes smarting.
Ask more of yourself than others. Even when it was hard to bear.
* * *
Piper resumed her activities, well aware of the day Dex was leaving, and when the time of his flight came and went, she locked herself in her office and cried like a baby. After that, it got easier. She took the next three weeks hour by hour, but the funny thing was, the ache for Dex never went away. It only got worse. The mornings were the most terrible because she remembered how wonderful it was to wake up in his arms.
That night she curled up into a ball and cried some more. Her nightmares had disappeared and with them her holding on to the memories of Brad. He was gone and she had to let him go. Let him have peace, so that she could find her own, but it eluded her.
She had word about Tyler weekly. He was improving and that was a boon to her heart. Soon he would be home.
As the days passed, she felt more fatigued than normal, falling asleep at her desk when she’d been able to work with no problem in the past. The simplest thing would set her off, but she chalked it up to getting less sleep and missing Dex.
The Mullins scandal and the whole horrible story got released to the press and Piper spent almost as much time dodging the media as she did working.
A month after Dex left, Brad’s bill went to the floor and it passed. The last thing she needed to do for him was done. It was only a formality now and the president would sign it into law. That’s when she went into his congressional email and saw evidence that Brad had planned to run for president. Something he’d just assumed she would go along with. Without even consulting her. It made her so sad that she had been so complacent. Lost her identity along the way.
With the overwhelming evidence, Mullins went to prison and Piper was free to move on with her life.
The problem was, she had no idea what she wanted to do with it.
She told Brock she was leaving early, and she stopped at a florist, then drove to the cemetery. She parked her car in the lot and started walking. Early September in DC was still steamy and she was hot and sweaty when she reached the grave site.
She stared down at Brad’s large stone, brushing off grass, leaves and twigs. Then she knelt down and did the same for the tiny little headstone beside his. She set eleven roses on Brad’s grave and one lone rose on Sophie’s. Then she sat back on her heels and felt the sun on her face and the wind against her moist skin, giving her a temporary reprieve from the humidity.
She had six weeks left in Brad’s term, mostly a formality. After she got home from the graveyard, she put her Georgetown town house on the market and it sold within a week. Since it was a cash offer, she was able to finalize the deal. She donated and sold off all of her furniture and household goods, and as each possession disappeared, she felt lighter and lighter.
In the back of her mind, she thought about the beautiful California house on the ocean. It called to her.
She moved back to the Bethesda mansion with Edward.
The first morning she was home, something sharp and staccato intruded on the heaviness of sleep, pushing back the gray trailers of a dream. Piper sighed and stirred, annoyed that the dream had evaporated. It was lovely and it featured Dex, naked in a pool, trying to coax her into the water.
She got up and looked outside to see that the grounds keepers had started on the hedge trimming. She went downstairs and found Edward at the table watching the morning news.
“Hey, you. Sleep well?”
“Moderately.”
“There’s eggs and bacon.” She went to the pan and dished herself up a helping.
Settling at the table, she said, “Edward, why are you keeping this monstrosity of a house?”
“It’s our home, Piper. Do you want to sell it?”
“I don’t know. I’m restless and...”
He gave her a sympathetic look. “Unhappy.”
She sighed. “Edward.”
He set down the paper and sat forward. “What’s wrong? You sold your house, your term is ending. Seems like you’re letting go and moving on.”
“Brad told me to.”
“Doesn’t make it easy,” he said.
“No. I’m just thankful that I wasn’t wrong about him, Edward.”
He reached out and squeezed her hand. “I saw the video, Piper. You weren’t wrong. He was a brave and loyal man. He didn’t deserve to die like that.” He was silent for a minute. “Piper, do you want to talk about the SEAL?”
“No.” Her throat got thick and tears flooded her eyes. She brushed them away.
“It was obvious to me that he was head over heels for you. Had it bad.”
“We bonded.” That was such a paltry answer to what she and Dex had together.
“No kidding. Look, it’s easy for me to tell you what to do. But guys like him don’t come along every day.”
“It’s his profession.”
“Really, he’s serving his country, Piper.”
“I don’t think I could take another loss.”
“Seems to me, sis, that you are experiencing another loss. You’re afraid of taking a risk again, and even though he’s in a dangerous profession, isn’t it better to have him every day than live without him forever?”
That hit her hard.
“Ty’s coming home next week. He’ll need some care, PT. I’m hiring a nurse to take care of him.”<
br />
“If she’s pretty, he’s going to charm the heck out of her.”
Edward took a bite of his toast. “Ha, maybe I’ll hire a pretty one. Might motivate him.”
Piper smiled. Then her stomach protested and she raced for the bathroom. She was sick.
She cried after she threw up, not able to get Edward’s words out of her head. She wished she could stop feeling so bad.
Edward was waiting for her when she came out. “Are you okay?”
“I am. Must have been something bad I ate.” He turned to leave. “Edward?”
“Yes?” He turned back.
“Would you teach me how to swim?”
He grabbed her behind her neck and pulled her against him. “Of course I’ll teach you.”
“You’re so totally going to dunk me, aren’t you?”
He got her in a headlock and laughed. “So totally.”
True to his word, Edward taught her, and every day she got better and better until she was streaking across the pool.
“Damn, you’re a fast learner. You’ve excelled at swimming in just three weeks.”
They got out of the pool and headed for the house. The doorbell rang as Piper was going to go upstairs. She walked to the door and opened it. “Tyler!” she screamed, and threw her arms around him.
An hour later, he was settled on the couch, his leg still in a cast and his arm now in a sling. She set a tray on his lap. “Do you need help eating?”
“Naw, I learned to eat with my left.” He eyed her. “How are you doing? You look like hell.”
“Dex and I were...intimate. We had a fling,” she blurted out, and Tyler stared at her, then blushed.
“Did you freaking break his heart?”
She dropped her head into her hands. “Yes, I think I did.”
“Well, that’s great. He’ll be court-martialed and heartbroken.” He dug into his meal.
“What did you say? They are not going to court-martial him!”
“Yeah, our CO was livid. Dex’s got a meeting with him tomorrow. They’ll strip him of his rank, bust him down to seaman and then throw his ass into jail with a dishonorable discharge.”
“Over my dead body,” she sputtered. She ran for the stairs and pressed her assistant’s number. “Get me the next flight out of DC to San Diego.” Then she was too busy packing and heading for the airport to think straight and question what it was she was doing. She must be out of her mind.
Was this what it was to feel completely alive? Had she just been marking time or had she been ignorant? She’d pushed away the guilt, Brad was gone and he was never coming back. Had she died a little each day to keep his memory alive? Paying homage to a man who could never be here and present for her ever again? No matter how much grief or agony she’d gone through, she hadn’t died that day.
She hadn’t died. Oh, God. She’d been living like she had. Until Dex. Until he’d come blazing into her life and showed her what heat was, what need was, what it was like to be a part of something...explosive and substantive.
Her hand went to the locket and with a deliberate move she unclasped it and set it on her dresser, then she pulled off her wedding band. The locket had given her what she needed to get her husband justice and the ring was part of Brad. She was ready to put that vow to rest and pledge herself to another man. What was now hidden in her heart was revealed.
There was no going back.
And she knew in her heart that even when Dex was deployed, he would be with her every day.
Naval Base Coronado,
Coronado, California
Dex slammed the door to his car as he made his way to his meeting with his commanding officer.
He had just spent the last four weeks recuperating and getting back into shape. Doing a lot of swimming, running and lifting. He felt he was ready for active duty.
His heart was still raw over Piper and he thought about her, dreamed about her.
Before he left DC, he went to Arlington Cemetery and visited each grave of the fine men he’d lost.
Then he’d left DC with Rock, who had supported him every step of the way. He went first to Philly to pay his condolences to Peter “Slim Jim” Camden’s widow and their newborn son. Then to Cleveland, Ohio, to Jerry “DJ” Sanders’s family and his beautiful, heartbroken widow. Then lastly to Albuquerque, New Mexico, where he visited Mike “Spaceman” Carver’s widow and his two adult sons and three grandchildren. He broke down. He’d never forget how Mike’s widow was the one to comfort him.
He reached into his front breast pocket to take out his ID and stopped dead in his tracks when he felt something soft against his fingers. He frowned and clipped the ID to his uniform. Then he reached in and pulled out a pair of pink baby booties.
His heart stalled and his throat closed up. Piper must have put them in his pocket when she’d visited him in the hospital. He closed his eyes, overcome with his love for Piper. He wished things could have been different.
Tucking the booties back in his pocket, he gouged at his eyes. He would carry them with him always to remind him what he was fighting for.
He reported to the commander’s assistant, who told him to go in.
Entering the office, he walked to the desk and stood at attention.
“At ease,” Commander Hodges said.
Dex went into parade rest and waited.
“What you did in Afghanistan was above and beyond the call of duty. SECNAV called me personally and sang your praises. Not only did you protect a US senator from harm, but you solved several crimes along with vindicating those six men who died. Thank you for your exemplary service.”
“Sir, are you giving me...?”
“Another medal? I’m afraid so.”
“Is it necessary?”
“Also, I’m afraid so.”
Suddenly there were loud voices outside the door. A woman’s voice was raised in argument. Then the door flew open and Piper marched through with the commander’s assistant protesting all the way.
“You can’t court-martial him! I won’t stand for it. I’ll get the best lawyer on the planet to defend him.” Her eyes were blazing and she was so angry her fists clenched at her sides. She looked delectable, mussed and elegant at the same time, her mascara smudged. She was dressed in a cute navy dress with epaulets. He figured she was subtly showing her support and solidarity with the navy.
“But...” Commander Hodges said.
She talked right over him. “If it wasn’t for him, I would be dead. He saved my life so many times. Figured out this whole conspiracy and put some very bad people behind bars. That has to count for something.” She leaned on the desk and got right in Commander Hodges’s face.
He reared back and his mouth twitched. He looked at Dex, then back at Piper. “It does. We’re not court-martialing him. We’re giving him another medal.”
It was her turn to sputter.
She reached out her hand. “Senator Piper Jones, with my big foot in my big mouth.” Dex couldn’t hold back the snicker and she gave him a wry look.
Commander Hodges chuckled. “I’ll give you some privacy.” He stepped out of his office and closed the door.
“What are you doing here, Bulldozer?”
She smiled and stepped closer to him. “Making a fool of myself because Ty told me they were court-martialing you. I had to come.”
“Why?”
Her eyes welled. “Because I love you, Lieutenant Dexter Kaczewski. You came into my life to save it. And you did. You made me see that I’m so alive and I have so much to give. I am the woman you need, the woman who will stand by you no matter what. Be a SEAL. Be whatever you want and I will be with you, because I can’t be without you.”
“What do you want to do with your life besides be with me?”
Her eyes glowed. “It’s important to you?” She reached up and held his face, and the look in her eyes almost undid him.
“Hell, yes. I want you to find what you want to do that will fulfill you.”
“I don’t know what that is right now, but thank you for saying that. It means everything.”
“I want to be with you, but Piper, you understand I’m gone two hundred and twenty days out of the year. I’ve got a dangerous job and I don’t want you to just say you can be with me, but be with me, stand by me. I’m putting my heart on the line for you. I love you beyond measure.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her face into his chest, breathing him in. “I’m not scared anymore.”
He wrapped his arms around her. “I know. You are so damned brave, babe, so brave.” She let go of him and he cupped her face, kissing her mouth so softly. “This...this is my unbreakable woman.”
She smiled into his eyes. “We’re unbreakable together.”
Epilogue
Safid Darreh,
Pawan Province, Afghanistan
The dust kicked up by the six goats traveling the road into the entrance to Safid Darreh blew into the face of the man dressed in traditional desert garb who herded them. He kept them moving as they bleated, catching the attention of several of the villagers. Several small children ran along with them as the man traveled to the end of the street and stopped at the red door of the last house.
He knocked and Afsana Jamal answered the door, her face frowning at the unfamiliar visitor.
“These goats are for you.” His voice was deep and he spoke the language like a native, but there was something about this man.
She petted one as it curiously snuffled her skirt. “Oh, my, they are beautiful. But why are you giving me goats?”
The man pulled the keffiyeh away from his face and Afsana smiled broadly.
“Dexter.”
He returned her smile. “Well, Piper wanted you to have these as a way of saying thank you. They’re excellent milk producers. Also, I was instructed to get your recipes for these dishes.” He dipped under the tunic into his camo pocket, his hand brushing against the soft yarn of the pink booties for the piece of paper. He handed her a list. He wouldn’t dare go back to California after this mission without them. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have Piper.
