by Doporto, CM
He reached over and squeezed her right bicep. “Just keep it up and you’ll have arms like mine.” He flexed his arms, showing off his lean muscles. “I’ve been working out too, ya know.”
Natalie rolled her eyes and shook her head. Although only fifteen, he was maturing fast and would pass her up before long.
“What vitamins are you taking?” Her mom turned around and looked her up and down thoroughly.
“The ones I volunteered to test out. They are from the pharmaceutical company I’m going to be interning at.”
“Oh. You didn’t tell me you volunteered to test out anything. When did you start taking them?”
“Back in January. I told you and you even asked me when we were in Chicago during spring break for Alicia’s wedding. Remember?”
Her mom’s brow furrowed. “I barely remember. I don’t know if I like you being a test patient for any drugs. There’s always some sort of side effects. You’ve heard the commercials that list all the possible dangers.”
“Mom, I’m not testing out any drugs. It’s only vitamins and protein drinks. You know me… I’m very cautious and I do my homework. I checked them out and they are perfectly safe. Not only do I get them for free but I get paid to take them too, which makes it even better.”
“Oh, all right. Just be careful. And your brother’s right. You will start looking like him if you keep lifting so much weight. Your shoulders are already getting broad. It can ruin your figure and you don’t want to look like those weightlifting women, do you?”
Natalie sighed. “Oh mom, please. Lifting weights is good for the body. You should try it.”
Her mom shook her head. “No thank you. I’ll just stick to power walking.”
“You’re lucky that you’re naturally thin.” Natalie saw her grandmother making her way slowly into the kitchen with her walker. For the past five years, her grandmother had been living with her family. Her father refused to put his mother in a nursing home when her health started to deteriorate and her memory began to fade.
“Abuelita, it’s so good to see you. Como estas?” Natalie spoke in half English and Spanish. Carefully, she embraced her grandmother’s frail body.
Her grandmother’s bony hands embraced Natalie’s face. Her lower lip quivered when she tried to speak. “Bien mija. Saliste de la escuela?”
“Si abuelita. I’m home for a week. I have to go back for summer school and work.”
Her grandmother smiled. “Asi es mi niña. Nunca cese con sus ambiciones.” Her grandmother had been an inspiration and a role model for her since she was little. She taught Natalie to not be satisfied with the ordinary things in life. She encouraged her to reach for the stars and keep on reaching until you were living and watching your dreams unfold right in front of you.
Natalie smiled back. “Don’t worry Grandma, I won’t let you down.”
“Adonde esta su novio, Tony?”
Natalie’s heart dropped to her stomach. Why did she have to bring him up? Didn’t her mother tell her that they broke up? Her head dropped down to her chest. A lump formed in the back of her throat and tears filled her eyes.
Natalie’s mom quickly interjected. “Don’t you remember, Rosa? I told you they weren’t together anymore?”
Her grandmother squinted through her heavy lensed glasses as though trying to remember that conversation. “Ay, si. Lo siento mija.” She leaned forward and kissed the tears rolling down her cheek. “You will find love again. Don’t let your heart go cold.”
Natalie wiped the tears away. “I know Grandma, but it hurts.”
Her grandmother nodded. “Yo sè.” She reached up and tucked the strands of hair that hung in front of Natalie’s face behind her ear. “Have faith. God will send you the right boy.”
Natalie smiled. “I hope so.”
***
Later that week, Natalie sat in her bedroom browsing through all of her high school yearbooks. They brought back so many memories, some good and some bad, thanks to Tony. She opened up her yearbook from her sophomore year and turned to the seniors. Her hand wavered for a second and then she thumbed through the pages until she found Ryan’s picture.
He looked almost the same except his face had matured. When she came across a full length picture of him she saw how his body had definitely filled out even more. She figured he had to be at least twenty or twenty-one; maybe twenty since he wasn’t drinking that night at the bar. However, they didn’t card anyone that night so she couldn’t be certain. She continued to flip through the pages until she came to Jennifer Shaw.
Jen, or that’s what everyone called her, was voted the ‘most’ everything. She was a gorgeous blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl with curves in all the right places. Natalie couldn’t compete with Jen. How was Ryan even interested in her?
Skimming through the book, she saw Ryan and Jen were in most of the pictures. Natalie wondered what she did to him that caused him so much pain. Besides leaving him when he got hurt, there had to be something more to the story. Natalie remembered seeing Jen constantly flirt with all the guys at school so her guess was easy. Jen had cheated on him. Just like Tony had cheated on her. It gave her a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.
Natalie got up and walked to the mirror hanging on her closet door. She stared at herself, combing through her long dark hair with her fingers. Her straight and limp hair clung to her head. She twirled the ends around her fingers. She liked the way Lise fixed her hair the other day and thought that maybe she should start curling her hair more often.
She removed her glasses and stared at herself. She liked the way she looked without them and Ryan had even made a comment too. Maybe she would wear her contacts instead of her glasses. She leaned forward to study her face. She was grateful she had a good complexion, hence the reason why she never bothered to wear much makeup. She didn’t need to. However, she also liked the way Lise did her makeup. It made her pale blue eyes stand out and it did make her feel pretty.
She straightened out her old UT t-shirt and cotton shorts. She couldn’t remember the last time she bought something new. Maybe she would go shopping and buy some new clothes, a curling iron, and new makeup. She had some money saved up and her mom did ask her earlier if she wanted to go shopping tomorrow. Shopping with her mom would be fun since her mom loved to buy clothes and accessorize. She didn’t take after her mom or her Aunt Sharon and her mom’s opinion would be helpful.
She gathered up her yearbooks and put them back on the bookshelf. Even though it was only 9:00 p.m., she wanted to catch up on her sleep. Going to summer school and working would be tough and she needed to start fresh. She flipped off the bedroom light and the second she crawled into bed, her cell phone chimed. Before she could get to the phone on her dresser, it chimed again. She saw that she had two messages; one from Lise and the other one from Ryan.
Instantly her heart began to race. Why did she get so excited and nervous every time she heard from him? She decided to read Lise’s message first:
Guess what? Ryan went home today. Call him.
Natalie shook her head. Why was Lise so persistent?
She texted back:
I’ll think about it.
She waited for a second and then went to Ryan’s message:
Just wanted to say hi.
She texted back:
Hey, how’s it going?
Immediately he responded:
Good. I’m actually home. I had to come help my brother w/the ranch.
She anxiously typed back:
Really?
He replied:
Yes. Would you like to come over tomorrow?
Her heart beat wildly. She wanted to see him but didn’t want to seem desperate. She hesitated and then texted the following:
I don’t think I can. I’m going shopping tomorrow with my mom.
A minute later he responded:
How about a horse ride on Saturday?
A horse ride? She hadn’t ridden a horse in several years. In middle school, she
rode all the time. More than likely, it would be at his ranch which meant his family would be there and that made her feel more relaxed.
She replied:
Let me think about it. Won’t it be hot?
He texted back:
Not if you get here around 10.
He had a point and she wanted to see him. Then her head warned her again. The more she thought about it, she could hear her grandmother’s voice from the other day. “Have faith. God will send the right guy.” What if Ryan was that right guy? She had to take that leap of faith if she was ever going to find love again.
She sighed, praying she was making the right decision. She texted him:
Okay, see you at 10.
Chapter 4: Feelings Unleashed
“Good morning, mija. You’re up early for a Saturday. Are you going somewhere?” Natalie’s dad, Richard, leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.
Natalie swallowed a mouthful of cereal. “Morning dad. Yes, I’m… ummm… going horseback riding.”
“Oh, you are? Where at?” Her dad walked over and poured himself a cup of coffee.
Using her spoon, she pushed the squares of cereal down to the bottom of the bowl. She had nothing to hide from her dad and she respected their request of honoring the rules while being home. However, she didn’t feel like being asked a thousand questions. It wouldn’t help the apprehensiveness lurking in the back of her mind about her decision.
“She’s going to a boy’s house.” Her sister giggled as milk seeped out the sides of her mouth. “Oops.” She grabbed a napkin and cleaned her mouth.
“Thanks, Laura.” She gave her sister a less than friendly smile. “I’m headed over to Ryan Garrett’s house to go horseback riding.”
Natalie’s mom walked into the kitchen, catching the tail end of the conversation. “Garrett. That’s not the Garrett’s on FM 1886 is it?” She wore a robe and her hair wrapped up in a towel. She had that fresh fruity smell of apples and freesia that told Natalie she had just finished her morning beauty routine.
“Yes, Mom, it is.” She prepared herself for the interrogation.
“So how do you know their son? Isn’t he a few years older than you?” Her mother started the slew of questions.
“Yeah, he graduated two years before me.”
Her mom took a coffee cup out of the cabinet and poured herself a cup of the morning brew. “Doesn’t he go to college here? Oh wait a minute, I think I remember one of the neighbors telling me that he got hurt and lost his scholarship.” Her mom stirred her coffee slowly, squinting her eyes, as though trying to recall the gossip she heard.
Natalie waited for her mom to put the pieces together or continue asking her more questions. She looked over at her dad. His eyes narrowed and he rustled the newspaper in his hands. He had no problem tuning his wife out. She didn’t blame him because she wanted to do the same.
He snapped the newspaper closed. “Aside from school, how do you know Ryan?” He sipped on his coffee, blowing the steam away in between swallows. His blue-green eyes stayed fixed on her, waiting for her answer.
“He transferred this past year to UT. We ran into each other at Kronberg Laboratories, where we will both be interning this summer.” For whatever reason, her dad’s method of questioning didn’t bother her, unlike her mom’s. Probably because she thought and acted much like he did.
“Oh. Well, have a good time and be careful. It’s been a while since you have ridden a horse.”
“I know dad, I’ll be—”
“Oh wow. What a coincidence that he ended up down in Austin with you. Maybe you two can ride home together. That would make me feel so much better knowing that you wouldn’t be driving alone. I know you have a cell phone…” Natalie’s mother continued to ramble.
“That’s what Lise said.” Natalie managed to get a few words in.
“That you could ride home together?” Her mom held the coffee cup with both hands.
“No, Mom,” Natalie shook her head, “that it was a coincidence that we ran into each other in Austin.” She bit her lower lip and held back any disrespectful remarks.
“Oh.” It took a few seconds before her mom’s eyes lit up. “So that’s why you wanted to go shopping yesterday.”
Natalie’s dad smiled at her. She wanted to cover her face. Her mom always knew how to embarrass her. The clock in the living room struck 9:30. She sighed in relief. Saved by the bell, thank God.
“I better go. I don’t want to be late.” She shot up, causing the chair to skid across the tile floor. She fumbled to collect her breakfast dishes along with the milk and box of cereal.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll clean up later.” Her mom motioned for her to set them back down.
“Thanks, Mom.” Regardless of her mom’s constant questioning and nagging, she appreciated how considerate and caring she could be.
She kissed her dad bye and walked over to her mom. “Aside from my date today, I really did need some new clothes that fit.”
“And new makeup and curling iron too? By the way, mija, you look beautiful. He’ll be impressed.” Her mom hugged her and fixed her hair, ensuring the waves fell to the front of her face. Natalie smiled and wondered if she did this for herself or to impress him? Maybe it was a little of both.
“And she’s not wearing her glasses.” Laura chimed in.
Her dad spoke up. “I noticed that.”
“I thought it would be wise to wear my contacts instead.” She tried to justify why she didn’t wear them.
“I also took her picture this morning with her phone. Let me show you.” Laura rushed over to her side and tried to grab Natalie’s phone from her hand.
Natalie raised her hand out of Laura’s reach. She shook her head and motioned for her sister to be quiet. She didn’t like to boast or seek attention by taking pictures of herself. In fact, she only allowed her sister to take the pic so she would stop hounding her.
“I’ll let you show them later. I need to leave.” Natalie winked at her sister.
“Promise?”
“Yes. I promise.” She slid her phone into her back pocket and took her keys from the bar. “I’ll be back later.”
“Be careful.” Her dad reminded her, waving from the table.
***
Natalie crossed under the wrought iron metal sign that said ‘Garrett Ranch’ and drove up the gravel road. She had passed his family’s ranch a million times growing up and never once did she ever think she would be asked to visit. Flutters circled around in her stomach and she prayed she wouldn’t later regret eating this morning. She told herself she had nothing to be nervous about but the butterflies didn’t stop.
Hidden behind tall bushes and stout oak and pecan trees was the large white ranch-style house trimmed with evergreen shutters and a large wraparound porch. It overlooked acres of farmland with barns spread out here and there. Red and pink petunias outlined the pavestone walkway leading from the road to the house. She pulled her car up the driveway and parked behind a black pickup truck. Next to it, her Mazda looked like a toy car. The tires were almost the same size as her little silver car.
She walked up the stairs to the front porch and rang the doorbell. She fiddled with her keys, waiting patiently for someone to answer. When no one came to the door, she decided to walk around back. She looked around but didn’t see Ryan or anyone else. She waited awhile and then pulled out her cell phone and dialed his number. It went straight to voice mail.
“Darn,” she muttered under her breath. She hit the end call button and slid the phone back into her pocket. The thought of leaving crossed her mind. When she turned to walk back to her car she saw out of the corner of her eye someone coming out of a nearby barn. She lifted her sunglasses and placed them on top of her head to get a better view of the guy wearing a cowboy hat, plaid button down shirt, and faded blue jeans walking in her direction. A surge of adrenaline hit her veins and immediately she knew it was Ryan.
He glanced up, holding his cell phone in his ha
nd. Natalie pressed her lips firmly together, trying to keep from smiling. Happiness flowed through her, making it difficult. He waved his arms in the air and gave a big Texas smile. She gave a small wave back.
“Good mornin’.” He adjusted his cowboy hat.
“Hi. Thanks for inviting me. I rang the doorbell, but no one answered.” Natalie glanced back at the house, wondering if anyone had come to the door after all.
“Sorry. I forgot to tell ya that my parents and sister are out of town. They went to buy a steer. It’s just me and my brother … and his family. They live in the house out back.” Ryan pointed behind him with his thumb.
“Oh. Okay.” Even though he wore a cowboy hat, she noticed how light his brown eyes looked in the bright sunlight. They had streaks of gold that glistened when the light hit them the right way.
“Let’s go inside for a minute, if ya don’t mind. I wanna grab a few bottles of water before we head out.”
Natalie nodded, trying to keep her focus on the conversation. For some reason, she couldn’t stop checking him out. “Sure.”
She walked by his side, to the house, when a strong breeze swept down and knocked his hat off his head. He tried to catch his hat but ended up stumbling forward. She reached up, catching his hat before it blew away.
“Good catch.”
She handed him his hat, completely surprised that she caught it too. “A lucky catch I guess.”
Another gust of wind blew, surrounding her in a chamber of bergamot and sandalwood. It traveled up her nose and through her body, melting everything along the way. Why did his smell intoxicate her to the point of bringing her down to her knees? Another wave of dizziness hit her like a brick wall. Her head throbbed and pulsated causing an incessant panic to rise in her heart. She stopped and held her hands out to the side of her body. “Whoa… not again.”
“Hey, are you okay?” Ryan put his arm around her.
“Yeah, sorry.” She held a hand up to her head, willing herself to take control of the situation. Within seconds the dizziness faded away.
