Enjoying the moment, especially her last ones here in this personal paradise, was paramount. Mairin sipped from her glass of wine and decided there was time enough before Tallenaara came home to sit, smoke a cigar, and watch the stars come out. Hard to believe there was a time when something as pleasurable as this had such deadly effects. She tried for the millionth time to blow a smoke ring and failed, laughing. Some things she would never get better at, she guessed.
Would it be any different as a soldier? Would she get better at it? She’d not worn a uniform for a month, and only checked her neurals for communications every other day and sometimes not for a few days. The last three days, there’d been no change. Ticonderoga would arrive tomorrow around 0900. Why the 0? The sarcastic grin faded.
Responsibility tapped her on the shoulder and settled in, like the weight of an ox’s yoke. Tomorrow, she would be responsible for soldiers. Tomorrow their lives would be placed with great trust into her hands. Was she truly ready for it? Of course not. I want to do well, she thought. But I’m so scared. Scared of being seen as a mousy little girl from Eden and not some kind of super warrior with a bunch of training I never really went through and the memories of a man dead over two hundred and fifty years. What if I don’t make it?
That was simple. She would return here. Make a life with Tallenaara until the time came for her to take a shdante, a mate. There would be time to figure out the rest of her life if that happened. She’d more likely be dead in six months, maybe less. That thought scared her less than being alone. Being alive, but without Tally, would be torture. Would Tally say the same about her?
Mairin smoked for a little while and watched the sky deepen to bluish-black as the first twinkling stars appeared. She didn’t think too much, only to pull the blanket over her legs and shift her weight a little to get more comfortable, if it was even possible. For the moment, there was nothing in the universe as comforting as being in that chair, under those stars, and with Tallenaara due home soon. She could live with that comfort forever and be happy.
She heard the autocar approaching a good minute before it pulled up to the front of the house. Tallenaara walked down the path carrying her for-appearances-only shoes and sat them by the door. “Cariad.” She smiled and moved across the patio to kiss Mairin on the lips.
“Thought I was going to have to send out a search party for you. Meeting run late?”
Tally nodded. “Sometimes work never seems to get done.” She poured a glass of red wine. “Sorry that you started without me.”
“It’s okay, Tally.” Mairin looked up at the sky. “Just sitting here wondering what it’s going to be like out there.”
There was nothing to say. Tally raised a hand to her face and smoothed away a tear. “I’ve been trying to avoid thinking about it. And I didn’t want to come home tonight and face the fact that you’re leaving tomorrow.”
Mairin sat her cigar down and held Tally’s hand in hers. “I don’t want to go, Tally. I want to be here with you more than anything in the world. But I have to go. I agreed to.”
“I know you do, Mairin. And I expect you to. I didn’t expect to care for you so deeply, and to love you. Styrah and humans are not a good mix, but you were so different. I wish you didn’t have to go, but I know it’s for a greater good. One that I hope will bring you back to me.”
An emptiness opened in Mairin’s chest as she looked into Tally’s green eyes. “We said we were not going to do this.”
“And we shan’t,” Tally said. “We’re going to dinner, then listen to some jazz music, and then we’re going to come home and finish our celebration the right way.”
Mairin grinned. “I’ve been waiting all day, and not so patiently!”
There was a pause, and Tally reached into her gown. “I was going to wait, but seeing you smile is a memory I want to keep. I want you to have something, cariad.”
“Should I close my eyes?”
“No,” Tally said. “I want you to see it first.”
The necklace looked like a combination Celtic cross and wreath. The inscription was Old Styrahi and read “Beloved.” “Cariad, this is my love for you and only you. Will you wear it?”
Mairin choked out a sob as her eyes filled with tears. “Yes.”
Tally touched it to her neck and there was a dull rush of heat that faded within seconds. The weight of it fell right between her breasts. “You will carry that for me. I will love you no matter where you go, or how far apart we are.”
“I don’t have anything to give you.”
Tally smiled. “You already have, cariad. In ways that you may never understand.”
Mairin kissed Tallenaara for a long moment, then snaked her arms around the taller Styrahi and pressed herself against her lover. She broke the kiss, not wanting to ruin their plans for the night, and looked up at Tally.
“Let’s go inside and get ready then. We have dinner reservations in an hour,” Tally said.
“Where?”
“I thought a little sushi was in order.” Tally winked.
Mairin wore a black dress and a bracelet of freshwater pearls from the Little Amazon. She tied her hair back as Tally finished slipping into a long dress of red with a white sash that dragged the floor. Outside, the rain began to fall.
“You look stunning,” Mairin said and smiled.
“Tomorrow, I wear purple.” Tally smiled with a touch of frown. Purple, the Styrahi color of sorrow. “Tonight, I court you.”
* * * * *
Fifteen
Mairin rose before Helios streaked the sky with bright colors. Leaving Tallenaara asleep, she padded down the stairs and poured a steaming cup of caffe, the spicy coffee of Libretto. Staring into the sunrise, Mairin sighed. The next time I get to watch a sunrise, she thought, I’ll be on some faraway planet and most likely in combat. The thought of stepping into her boots in a few hours, tying her hair back, and reporting for duty really didn’t bother her. All of that was a way of life far different than what she had with Tally. Missing things like sunrises, casual touches, a nice glass of wine, a little jazz music, and the only she person she’d ever loved were things to cherish, but they could not go forward with her. Duty was secondary to life. In a few hours, duty would be about all she’d have.
She would lose Tally, too. Eventually, Tally would have to move on—her species demanded it. But would she? Her fingers traced the necklace and lingered there for a long moment. Would she eventually move on? Couldn’t they remain a couple? What was to say that they couldn’t, except for the whole Styrah mating cycle? There’s an exception to every rule, isn’t there?
Except that there wasn’t. Not this time, and not with Tally. From day one, Tally’s advice was to enjoy the moment to the utmost. For now, that was all she had.
The ride to the spaceport seemed far too short and much too silent. They held hands and looked at each other, turning away when the tears started to appear. Mairin wore her coveralls and the garrison cap headgear reminiscent of an old Air Force uniform, the gold braid of an officer catching the sun, and her captain’s bars polished and ready. She hefted her bags to the walkway and turned to Tallenaara.
There were no words.
Mairin walked to her lover and simply wrapped her arms around Tallenaara. She choked back sobs and tried to tell Tally how much she loved her, but the words wouldn’t come. Her mouth opened and closed without a sound. They pulled away gently and looked into each others’ eyes.
“Carry my love with you, Mairin.”
Mairin nodded. “I love you, Tallenaara.”
“I love you.” Tally smiled and kissed her one, long, perfect final time.
Mairin stepped away to her bags and picked them up in time to hear the five-minute call for her shuttle to the Ticonderoga. She turned and saw Tally walking back to the autocar with her head down, one hand to her face. Mairin felt her tears start and she tried to walk away, but held her spot until Tally looked up at her one last time. She raised her hand and blew a kiss, and Tally
smiled through tears. Then Tally stepped into the autocar and was gone.
Stand up straight now. You’ve been through the toughest part of this; now you’re going to walk onto military property, and you have to be ready for it. On cue, she looked up and saw a young staff sergeant walking her way. He was going too fast to be meeting her, but as the soldier walked past, he raised a salute.
“Good morning, ma’am.”
She returned the salute reflexively. “Good morning.”
The tears stopped. Her back straightened and she walked towards the shuttle bay. There’s nothing about me that’s the way I used to be, Mairin thought with a sense of confidence she’d not had a few weeks ago. Yes, she was leaving her first love, and she wanted nothing more than to stay here on this planet that felt like home, but there was something out there. Something called to her. Needed her. Wanted her to come and share it, make a difference, and serve with others. She did not understand it fully, and part of her knew that she never really would. Some of us are just wired differently.
The shuttle had a twenty-six-hour flight to rendezvous with the Ticonderoga, and it appeared comfortable enough to maybe sleep some. The thought of red nylon webbed seats strung in a cargo plane brushed past her and she laughed at it. Soldiers always sleep when they can. She loaded her bags on the shuttle and stepped aboard, savoring her last breath of moist Libretto air. I will come back, she thought. I will be back, Tally. I love you, cariad.
The shuttle lifted three minutes later. Mairin faded gently towards sleep, her neurals playing Dave Brubeck and a wistful smile on her face.
* * * * *
Sixteen
Tallenaara told herself not to cry, that good Styrahi would not behave in such a weak manner in public. But she wasn’t in public, now tucked in the back of her autocar and running scared back to her cabin outside the dome. No, she wouldn’t cry. She thought of Mairin in her uniform walking away for the last time. The chances they would see each other again were slim and that was the truth.
The tears came.
Tally leaned back against the cushions, smelling the last hint of Mairin’s perfume in the air, and wondered what the truth really was in their relationship. And would it really matter in the end? Especially without Mairin? The autocar flashed an incoming transmission. Subspace. Tally looked at the console long enough for her retinas to be identified and the transmission connected.
“Tallenaara. Were you successful?” The voice spoke flawless Styrah, with a dialect from the northern tribes. It brought a fleeting memory of wide open prairies and tall trees.
“It doesn’t appear so.” Tallenaara bit the inside of her lip. “I wasn’t able to get an appropriate sample.” The lie came easy.
“Without a proper sample, we’ll have to find an alternative.”
There would always be an alternative. That was the purpose of councils. Planning for such eventualities were seldom simple. Perhaps there would be someone else to carry the burden. Another of her race that could be told that the continuation of their species as a whole rested solely on her shoulders. Tally snorted. That wasn’t exactly true. Styrahi would continue to populate the universe. What they wanted, and sought, was a way to make their already fruitful lives longer. A way to extend the very lifetime of the race. One hundred twenty periods were not long enough anymore. Tally did the math in her head. Sixty Earth years. On the seat next to her, a hair glinted in the early morning light. She touched it, and squeezed gently between her fingers until her eyes filled with tears. Tally looked away at the blurring countryside outside the autocar’s windows.
The voice came again. “Aren’t you wondering what the alternative is?”
Tally knew she’d be pressed for a response. “Is there a replacement identified for me?”
A laugh resonated from the speakers in the autocar. “No, Tallenaara. There will be no replacement. Merely a change in mission.”
“I will not attempt to date another TDF officer. Nor will I attempt to get pregnant by one.”
“How quickly can you be off planet?”
“Are you listening?” Tally snarled. “I will not do this again.”
“You’re going to Earth.”
Tally felt her mouth drop open. Memories of long rainy months during her time in Wales and friends she’d met along the way came to mind. Andrew. Her stomach flipped. “Not him.”
“Yes, Tallenaara. Your genetic mutation may allow you to conceive a child with a human, regardless of gender. The probability with a male is lower, yes, but we have options. From your connection to Andrew Cartner during your education, you can get close to him. He is, after all, the Earth’s Prelate.”
Tally clenched her jaw. They’d been fast friends and he’d not been scared away by her differences. Granted, at Cardiff she was the only Styrahi on the campus, and dealt constantly with the attention and notoriety, until her second year when she finally began to be treated like just another student.
One evening she’d walked down to the Goose’s Gander to indulge in a local jazz trio and a bottle of wine. Andrew walked in a half hour behind her and crossed the darkened pub with his eyes on her the entire time, like he’d worked up the courage to approach her. Gesturing to the chair, he asked, “May I sit?”
Tallenaara smiled. “I’m sure there are plenty of other seats available if you’d rather.”
“No, I’d like to sit here.” He shrugged out of a black overcoat. His school sweater made her chuckle at human emotional connections to things like schools and sports. Andy smiled at her with perfect white teeth and glittering blue eyes. He wiped his wet brown hair back from his forehead and motioned to the waitress. A moment later he had his stout, the lights lowered, and the trio took the small stage again and began to play. He scooted his chair closer to her, to have his eyes on the stage. “Is this acceptable?”
Tallenaara nodded. “If you can deal with the consequences.”
“Oh?” He looked shocked but then began to smile. “You don’t scare me, Tallenaara, despite your reputation.”
She laughed. “Reputation? Oh, it’s a little more physical than that. I don’t believe I know your name.”
“But you know me.” He smiled and fighting herself, she returned it.
“I do. I had Concrete Mechanics with you two quarters ago. You hardly ever came to class.”
He laughed. “I still earned top marks.”
“Laziness on top of potential is still laziness.” Tallenaara sipped at her Italian nebbiolo. “Now, what is your name?”
“Andrew. Andrew Cartner.”
The pieces fell together. She nodded and turned her attention to the band. The son of Earth’s newly appointed Prelate. He’d not been absent from classes because of laziness after all. Security measures often did that, despite their good intentions. The trio finished a song she’d never heard before and then tinkled into “S’wonderful.” Andrew reached onto the table, to Tally’s free hand, and gently put his hand over it. Her hearts raced at all of the potential things that were wrong with this. But he had a nice smile, and she enjoyed his showing of affection like a note of acceptance. No one in the pub noticed, or even cared to. For a moment, they were just two students, enjoying music in a dark bar, without a care in the world.
He walked her home, all of three hundred feet and up two stories to her flat. He gallantly opened the doors for her and looked up into her face with a rueful grin as they passed other students. His ambivalence to the gawkers made her happy. At her doorstep, he’d merely smiled and nodded. “Thank you for a wonderful evening. I’d very much like to do it again, but I’m afraid I have quite a problem.”
Tally squinted. “And what would that be?”
“I was hoping I could ask you to accompany me this weekend. To Scotland.”
“For what?” A State dinner or event would require her talking with the Styrahi consulate for permission. She didn’t want anything to do with his world despite his smile.
“Some friends of mine are going golfing with their
significant others. I’m terribly outnumbered and I believe a fan of good jazz and excellent wine could help me fend off the wolves trying desperately to get me married and copulating like a wild rabbit!”
She laughed. He made it easy. “And I won’t scare away your friends?”
He grinned. “Two Canadians, an Irishman, and their dates? Please, although the Irishman you might have to watch. Pour enough Guinness down him and anything with a heartbeat is fair game.”
She felt herself smiling wider, if possible, liking the way he was trying to take care of her and defend her from imaginary threats. “And if I say I’ll go?”
“I can promise you that I will be the gentleman’s gentleman. Dashing, gallant, and chaste, though I cannot promise against the occasional show of affection.”
She acted like she was thinking, her decision already made. “I will go.”
Andrew smiled. “Then I will see you here tomorrow at noon. We’ll autocar up there so Darren can start drinking early. Do you play golf?”
“No.” Tallenaara frowned. “I’ll be in a dark pub, preferably with jazz music.”
“I know those type of places,” he grinned. “Then I will see you tomorrow.”
He touched her elbow, but made no effort to get closer. A wave of feelings struck her. Sadness, expectation, and excitement all rolled into one. She closed the door, prepared for bed, and slipped between the sheets with a smile on her face. Sooner or later she’d have to let the consulate know of her interaction with the Prelate’s son. Until then, she could enjoy his attention and the occasional display of affection. The way she’d felt that night stayed with her for years, until she met Mairin Shields and felt it again, this time stronger and even more natural.
She cleared her belongings from the remote cabin in an afternoon. There wasn’t time to waste if her masters on Styrah had their way. The autocar stood waiting, her cases packed and loaded aboard while she walked out to the patio one last time. She’d cleaned the house from top to bottom, as if preparing for a long winter’s absence. For a moment she lingered at the lounge chair where Mairin had sat the previous night. Hesitation was weakness, she knew, and cursed the Styrahi proverbs that told her so. Hand in her pocket, she removed the hair she’d plucked from the autocar and held it up to the light. On the back of the chair, so it would catch the light, Tally laid Mairin’s strand of hair. Surely they would meet again.
Runs In The Family Page 9
