Wow, he felt just like me. We’d both bottled up the same feelings. I felt the load lift off my shoulders like this huge elephant of feelings pressing down on me daily was finally walking away. But...he still knew something I didn’t. It was there on the edge of his voice that I’d known my whole life.
“Ian, I don’t know what will happen next, or tomorrow, or ever, but I do know that I don’t want to be anywhere else but by your side. I don’t know what this thing with Pike is, but I am very sure that this claiming thing doesn’t change how I feel about you or affect him like you seem to think it does. Yes, he is tied in, I feel that. But Pike can suck a lemon for all I care in that department. It’s obvious you think he is great at what he does and that you have some worry that I think he might sweep me away, but he is just Pike. That’s it. I don’t want to hear about him anymore now. If you need to hear I love again I’ll say it a hundred times. I.LOVE.YOU.”
He surrounded me with his arms. I was lost in him within seconds with no hope of surfacing. Did Pike’s feelings really matter if they couldn’t be changed? If Pike is listening, who cares. Right?
Chapter Four
concealed- v. 1. keep from sight; hide 2. to keep secret; prevent from being noticed
I looked ridiculous but I was off on my secret mission to the range in full armor hidden behind a mask concealed to prove I could defend myself. The tough task was doing it alone. I didn’t want any tattle-tells so it was on with the super great idea of mine! Second guessing oneself is normal...but this was the craziest secretive plot twisted idea I’d ever had.
The helmet was so hot and sticky it was not hard to comprehend why men were so cranky coming out of battles. They haven’t had a woman’s touch in so much time and they stink like this and no woman would touch them. My mom used to say something along those lines when dad would return from a huge trial that took weeks and all nighters in his office. And that they have the manners of a grizzly bear.
Sweat ran down my back making it itchy but unable to reach and scratch due to the way it tied on. I'd be cranky too. I am cranky and I haven't even started.
The range was full of hot, sweaty men doing the same thing over and over. I’d never noticed this before. Like maybe I was too centered round my own little universe and tunnel vision with only Ian in my sight. These men actually spent most of their days preparing to protect the court. And me! I was in awe of the devotion and at the same time, wondering why couldn’t I do some of the same. I’m not completely weak. No, I may not be a front liner, but I could shoot from the back.
Inching between men to practice was hard to juggle in the getup they wear and only three others were wearing all the armor.
I threw the daggers, shot arrows, and even sparred a little before excusing myself to rub my eyes of dripping sweat now blurring my vision. I rooted myself on after each victory hit on the targets, but had to reach each time afterward to wipe my face off. It wasn’t long before I could testify why sports people wore headbands on their foreheads.
I heard Ian yelling for the other guard he favored lately and took the liberty to disappear. His name was Eric and was at least six foot six and strong! He was very good at throwing a battle axe, I heard, and now had the visual proof to back it. He was the same guard I'd met a few times and exchanged smiles.
Hidden around the corner. I threw the helmet off after only twenty minutes and flung my wet, sweat drenched hair in every direction wet dog style.
“Very impressive,” a male voiced said.
My hair slapped back aimed for who just invaded my privacy. “What do you want? And why did you follow me?” Great, he knew. He would tell Ian.
“I won’t tell him if you don’t want me too. But I want to congratulate you. You did well.”
He was being a facetious toad. He would find a way to let Ian know.
“How did you know it was me?” Dumb question. My dense, mindless side of the brain should have realized he couldn’t be tricked. The majority could read my mind and I know there were a few times it leaked out. I wasn’t perfected yet.
He pointed to his head.
“Well, keep it to yourself.” And stop keeping tabs on me.
He stared at my armor in various places, “You don’t have to prove yourself.” He folded his arms across his chest in the traditional Pike stance I’ve come to recognize. I scanned his appearance that mocked my own noting his clothes weren’t rumpled. His skin only glistened and his hair was still the perfect Pike hair he always had even on the range.
“Yes, I do!” And I stomped off not giving him time to reply. I did however finally reach a conclusion that I hadn’t seen or noticed. Ian had been in a funk when we first came to court. I assumed it was the boy meets girl phase and nothing else mattered that made him ignore his pastimes and teaching the new recruits. So seeing him here with the range and knowing Pike and he were sparring every morning before dawn actually excited me. He was happier. And I sure loved watching him do all of it. Especially when he loses his shirt.
Again the next day in my full-out armor disguise, I was standing before the dagger range hoping Pike would let me be. I was wrong, as always.
Ian didn’t pay much attention to me and that got my goat. After all, I was a supposed new recruit. Pike snickered a time or two when he could get away with it. Ian was helping another guard in full gear like myself, but stopped when I released my arrow and missed on the next weapon rail. Dang!
Pike’s head snapped in my direction hearing my slur. Double dang!
Of course, Ian saw that arrow. The one this new guy missed. He strutted up to me in guy to guy mode and proceeded to tell me why I missed. It was funny to hear his advice as told to another man. I found this fascinating. Even the tone of his voice was huskier. Manly man sounding!
I pulled back my next arrow and the bow pinched against the metal on my hand. I let out one tiny incy wincy yelp, but both Ian and Pike heard it. Ian stood taller and shot his hand to his chin, narrowing his eyes. Pike came to my rescue.
“Your armor needs cleaning. Maybe you ought to head out.”
Thank you.
He nodded.
I followed orders for both reasons, to obey and because I was afraid to mess up again.
When I thought for sure I was safe, not caught red handed, I started shredding the gear. The greaves section of my armor on my legs were being difficult to remove as they were practically stuck to me like glue. My hair was sticking straight out in five directions. I had the gear off fast and was heading into my bath pulling my towel to me when I was brought to a halt by stepping right into Ian's boots. He didn’t have a face I could read so I waited trying to keep my own the same and not looking at the ground. I had my bra and underwear and what was left of the dressing gown (that was just a fancy word for camisole in the Fey world) on for goodness sakes but for all intents and purposes, I was naked. Yes, a towel covered me mostly, but still. And my hair!
He was in my room, alone, without knocking, and no Danella. He knew.
“My lady, won’t you accompany me on the range? I want to practice a little with you. Fine tune a few things.” Oh, he knew all right. There were two options. Pike told or Ian was familiar even with a miniscule female induced scream as he'd known me, well, all my life. One or the other or both.
I had no choice but to follow. I dropped the towel on purpose to prove a point I knew I’d lose anyway and grabbed the first thing I saw to throw over my revealing clothing. I snatched the pull over dress I used only for my room because it was too short and too thin. Paper thin. Wouldn’t you know, he looked away but not before he got a glimpse. As daring as it was, his usual alert of desire was present in his eyes, but the anger was winning the war. We entered and Pike was smirking so horribly it was obvious that I wanted to smack him. My hair was a matted mess and others looked at my clothing like I’d lost my mind. Pike knew well what Ian was doing and wanted to rub it in my face. At least he was acting a little more BIG brotherly and not trying to woo me away from Ian. T
hat was a plus.
Ian took my stuck to me like glue dress in his hands and pulled my hips in front of him. Luckily, the gown came almost to my knees, but obviously different than my everyday attire here at court. He didn’t even require me to put pants on that I defiantly left off on purpose. Or shoes. He leaned his body up against me. He was sweatier than even me and trying to make some point I couldn’t quite figure yet. I chanced a look around at what the other men on the range might be thinking about my appearance or what Ian was doing to me, but no one looked. Probably one of those don’t even look, I’m the head honcho prince things. I’m teaching my woman a lesson so mind your own business thing. Or…never mind. The point was made before he started even if I didn’t agree.
I followed his lead with silent reverence for the man I love, but playfully feared at the moment. For him to be able to do this to me and keep me on this silent edge was reminding me of the old Ian who could keep a very well kept secret and egg me on for days and days till I would burst with curiosity. He was in full control. What was going to do to me, I didn't know.
Pike huffed but I didn’t look. He should quit listening.
Ian pulled back my bow and anchored the arrow. He never did this. I watched his face instead of the target forgetting to be angry. He looked so calm. Scary.
I waited till he stepped back to let me finish it. When he did, his laser beam eyes landed and stayed on me. I was shaking as I released and missed.
He bent close, “Just like before there is too much emotion in your aim though I must say, I do prefer it with your pants off.” I coughed. What girl wouldn’t? And it was just that. He was reminding me that I was just a stinking girl.
Pike was ready when I turned on him, “I didn’t say a word.” That was mistake number one million for him. He just told Ian that he knew. Idiot!
Ian glared his laser beams back at him now. Ha!
“I’m going to bathe now. You boys can duke it out in the sparring ring.” I tried to pick my dignity up off the floor and make a fast exit.
“Oh no. You want to sweat like a man you can fight like a man.” I sprang back with his hand attached to face the rest of the men now being entertained.
“But I’m not a man, I—"
“Oh, Grace. Only I know that very well. And it will remain that way for eternity if I have my way. If it’s sparring you want, you get.” He had every bit of desire and anger all wound up into one Ian pinched smile. I was trapped. And every man standing here knew it. Ian was enjoying every second of this little display of revenge build-me-up-to-just-combust show when just two days ago he was giving me the choice to walk away from him. This is the Ian I knew well, just not ever used on me.
I blinked once. Twice. When I opened my eyes he had the slight glow. I darted my eyes around to see if anyone was seeing it. No one else seemed to be indifferent to anything to his little show though Pike was a bit to clear minded. I was the only one as far as I could tell.
He walked over to the ring and whispered to one of the unarmored guards who only finished his second day of training. He nervously peered around Ian and looked wide-eyed at me. He shook his head no and I distinctly heard Ian say forcefully, “You will.”
The boy bowed and stood back in the ring. Ian turned to me and held his hand out to walk into the ring handling a sword intended for me. “He will not harm you.”
“But he’s new.” The old me would be having a panic attack right now, not the new true to herself Wonder Woman who was standing up to her man at the moment and silently shouting, “I will conquer all!” I raised my neck up to look superior.
“His father was a record breaking swordsman. He will not harm you.” He repeated himself. He did the repeating thing often enough when he was mad. But this wasn’t the part of Ian I knew well. This was a manly man working with the men Ian. The manly man who thought he was teaching a man and didn’t question my ability until he knew I was a woman in sheep’s clothing. So unfair.
I heard Pike’s knuckles crack and glanced his way. He was giving me a big old I-told-you-so stare.
Fine! He wants tough! I stepped up and delivered the first blow. My opponent was just going to let me win anyway so why not make them take notice. I threw a slice on his arm and he pulled back. When I ripped his shirt, he gritted his teeth and looked at Ian. “Don’t look at him. Look at me, you moron. Now fight me or I’ll pardon you from your duties.” The dog looked at Ian again. “I am the queen. Stop looking at him and fight me like you should, not like he told you.” Ian shrugged at us both and said, “She has you there.”
I was so glad I’d been practicing. If holding up this heavy sword was important in the heat of battle, count me out. But don’t mention that to the men just yet. They’re already on my bad list.
The boy didn’t hold completely back, but he stopped several times when he was about pierce skin and tore my dress into pieces instead. He did have great control of where his sword was at any given moment as evident by the men and their chuckling man giggles. Ian stepped in and excused the boy taking over his place. He knew I was tired but his point was not yet made and he was holding all the cards at the second. I held my own for a girl in his eyes, I knew it. But he had to have the upper hand and held back what he could really do anyway. I swung, he blocked. It was really the only move I knew. When we were finally about to call it quits, my dress was shredded. Zena, warrior princess would be proud of this outfit. I had shoulders showing, thighs, stomach muscles that I was blessed with being proud of, and my dress in the back was completely torn to shreds without a single scratch to show for it. It showed a lot of leg for the Fey world. I had two nicks on my left knee made by my own hand and my gown was now a mini-mini skirt in danger of repeating our Halloween night fiasco!
We drew a crowd as we always seem to do no matter what we did, but all were aware of my appearance and not winning the fight with Ian. My first thought was to ask for a cover, but my second thought won me over in the tease Ian back department. Paybacks!
I walked my best side to side sexy walk, I’m all that, I’m woman hear me roar strut, I could give and take it shrug, and handed Ian the sword. I leaned up to his face making him think I was going to kiss him in front of his buddies and stepped one half foot to the side and whispered on tiptoes in his ear, “Hope you don’t hold back like that in the bedroom.” Two can play this game.
Pike coughed.
Ian choked aloud. He eyed me cautiously and I saw his hand reaching to sink the pinchers in. I moved quickly to be out of reach knowing the crowded area would stop him. I said with my back turned and hand in the air for an exit cue, “Hope you enjoyed the show. Tomorrow. Same bat time. Same bat channel. Maybe even the playing field and make it ladies only.”
Not one male said a word and no other female was there. Had they never seen a girl fight?
Not wearing that! Pike was syncing to me.
Well, I didn’t shred my own clothes.
No, that would be why Ian stepped in. There wasn’t going to be much left if he hadn’t.
Oh, you wish.
You know it.
Too late.
Not yet.
I’m walking away. And yes, it is Pike. GIVE.IT.UP.
I blocked so I couldn’t hear him.
***
My bath was divine. I met Ian at dinner with my head held high. No point being ashamed.
We ate and parted from each other without much talking. Although he didn’t look mad, he looked something. I did manage to get him to face me right before he finished at the nightly range time. No words, just his face. Oh! His eyes were silver and glowing. His skin was glowing now that I focused and noted his various attributes. I’ve always noted his hard as nails abs and strong arms. I even noted back in school the way his jeans hung just the way I liked on his hips. But I’ve never noted how they affect me and that he was so much more than just a pretty face. He was thinking things altogether different that what I was. And keeping his mouth closed and in a thin line with his lips, I
guessed, the only way he was tapering it. Men just think so differently sometimes.
“Meet me in your room,” he whispered in my ear.
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” I was nervous about facing those eyes again. He might not hold back.
“Regardless.” He left.
I didn’t like that threat but my body did. I decided right then and there I wouldn’t be going. I would have Danella lock me up in my room before he could arrive. And I did.
I was snug in my bed for the first time in a while. The overexerted energy from the day had worn me out and I was out cold before I had time to worry about what Ian would think of my defiance. Next thing I knew, his arms were winding around me and he was moving closer than ever before.
I reached with my left hand to find and make sure he had bottoms on not wanting to wiggle my parts to find out. Pants, no shirt. They were there. I sighed with relief.
“That was quite a show you put on today.”
Was I in trouble? I decided to not answer.
“Are you going to ignore me?” he asked.
“Works for you.” That was mean, but I wanted his ignoring me to stop too. We'd just had a heart to heart in the garden days before, but he'd gone right back to ignoring the idea of telling me things. I asked about Kin, I got shrugs and the word, "later".
“Agreed. Trying to change that. Why did you feel like you had to prove yourself?”
“Because you still think I’m frail. And I wanted this court to know I’m not. I didn’t intend for you to know I’d done anything in the range without you, but I wanted to be treated as equal.”
“You will never be equal to anyone or anything in this world or anywhere. That I can promise you.”
“You’re partial.”
“You just told every male out there that you are a force to be reckoned with and my poor attempt at holding backing their hormones was the worst part. You are to be my wife and I am selfish. I will not have them looking at you like that again.”
Tainted Page 4
