Okay! I chose poorly. Allowing him to walk away, I turned back to an amused Ian who did indeed let me loose after Pike walked away. “What are you smug about?” I was enjoying the time with Pike and Ian together in one area and not being so confrontational like it used to be. Pike was more accepting of our designed destinies and moving on it seemed. Or at least, he let on like it was.
“Nothing, my love. The entertainment of my queen and the thrill of seeing the others get let down doesn’t excite me at all. Not at all!” He continued to unknot the mess of rope that was tangled around the trampoline. I couldn’t understand why it was there in the first place and Ian nor Pike enlightened me.
“You aren’t mad at me?” I asked biting off the last word.
He turned very troubled, dark disguised eyes at me, “I am angrier with you than Kin or Pike together.”
That was unexpected. “I don’t know what to say,” my lip quivered and I bit down to stop it.
He drew in a short breath, dropped the rope, and started pacing, not holding me, not kissing me like he’d done in the past. “Grace, when are you going to stop flaunting yourself to others? You are my girl and you’ve got to stop all this now. Taking yourself away from me to go to Kin. Right NOW I need you to either be mine or…I just can’t do this again, Grace!”
The “you’re my woman” man roar. He really meant it.
“I don’t want some other dude pawing or looking at you. Is that too much to ask?” He was yelling rather loudly but not letting up on the rope he had back in his hands now. More than that, his knuckles were as white as the tight way he drew in his lips. Talk about man anger.
I was just realizing how absorbed I was in my own agendas that I’d neglected Ian’s perspective or how it looked when I made decisions without him. As shallow as I felt at that moment, I managed to pull myself together and beg his forgiveness. “I’m glad you told me. No, I didn’t think about how it looks or how you might feel. Maybe that’s because I’ve never had anyone ever care before and didn’t think about it from your eyes, but I should have. I would die if you did that to me. Feel free to go all caveman again if I push it too far, but I will not give Kin another thought if that’s what you need of me.”
His face fell. “No Grace, that isn’t what I want. He is a player in this game we can’t avoid. I just wish you would act like your mine and belong to me only if that’s what you really want.” His voice softened to the point I couldn’t tell if he was going to continue or not. “Or make your choice.”
How could anyone do this to the man who loves this much? He’s all but begging me to simply act like I worship him, for which I do. “Okay. I see your point and you’re right. I can tell it’s killing you to tell me this. Just remember, Kin means nothing to me but a business transaction. And don’t even think for one minute that Pike’s charms work on me. He may be charming, but he’s not you.”
Ian smiled wonderfully. He gathered me to him and settled it with a furiously dangerous kiss. Make up kissing was pure bliss. The force of his lips said as much as his words.
After returning to lay his ropes out like a boundary around the area I let something else course through his mind. “You have a rat Ian. Someone on the inside gave Kin my gold dress.”
His wild glazed eyes told me otherwise, then he surveyed the outfit I had on now. “No one is a mole. I sent it back. Return address. He will not have you. Any of you. I already tolerate what discussion you have with him, he will not clothe you too.” Scratch the confrontational bit about making up. Just depends on which way the mood swing pendulum stills and when I open my big mouth.
He dusted me one more time and took my hand to lead me to my rooms, but didn’t move. I quickly thought about asking if he knew where I been taken and why he didn’t just come get me. After careful consideration, I decided he might lie to me and I didn’t want that. I worried that he’d say something else about me making the hard decision to choose between them, though, he made it clear I was only his. A walking contradiction was no one to argue with.
Okay! Another subject. “Why is your room a real room and mine is like a jungle?” No sense wasting precious time. Kin was over now.
His glowing green eyes looked stunned, “I…thought that’s what you wanted.”
Okay! “Well, that was nice for a while, but I would like a real room if that’s okay?”
Unexpectedly, he smiled back and continued with the ropes in his hand now tying they around a tree. I thought he was finished. I thought we were leaving.
“What?” I asked.
“Grace, you’re the queen of the Seelie court. You may have anything you please.” He enjoyed saying this.
“Then I’ll take a giant burger, no sauces. A large any kind of soda. A dozen roses from my favorite future king of the Seelie court. And a NOW wedding, rather than later with a long, slow down time private moment with my future husband.”
This was a one-eyebrow moment. “In that order?” he said testing me.
“Yes!” I was feeling sparky! I needed to be cleansed of Kin’s doings.
He frowned. I imagined he was remembering my last burger and who it was from.
“The first three fulfill a now need. The last one fulfills a lifetime need and I want to take my slow time making every second of it count.” I accentuated the words slowly for effect.
He liked this. Dropping the ropes that I still had no idea why were so important, he pulled me into his arms and the crowd that we didn’t even know about earned another juicy sideshow.
I heard someone say they would finish wrapping the trip wire. Trip wire? Were they making a trap for Kin or something?
We departed with applause and retired to his room, not mine. I looked forward to a restful sleep wrapped in Ian’s arms and nothing said about Kin after he had the details and assurance I was unharmed. I’d missed his amazingly strong and security blanket safe arms for a whole night. He appeared to have missed me too since he was wrapped so tightly around me when I awoke stiff and unable to move. I listened to the birds above and their happy tunes surprised I could hear them. Baby birds were singing their songs all the time lately. No rain had surfaced around our court in weeks.
Lying there, I thought back to the way Ian looked when I walked up from my second kidnapping I now called the great rescue. His face was in agony and relief synonymous with Pike’s but they never questioned my going. It was like they expected it.
Ian was nowhere near the trampoline when I walked right up to it, but Pike was on the other side screaming for him and racing for me at the same time. Pike was irritatingly inspecting all over me for scratches and such. Of course, I was free of any such things. Kin was a gentleman. A kidnapping gentleman. I had to laugh.
We had lengthy discussions about the details of what all happened and five hundred times I was asked, “Are you hurt anywhere?” Ian decided that night he wanted me to go back to his room where he intended to check me over. Just to be sure. When my eyes went wide with something other than real fear, he gave in and had Danella do it and report to her while he stood outside his bathroom door refusing to leave the room. Pike liked all this being that Ian reported it to him whom stood right outside the bedroom door for a verbal reassurance.
The days that followed included many talks about tighter security. I wasn’t allowed at the trampoline by myself ever. I couldn’t go to the range alone. I was lectured, checked on repeatedly, walked everywhere with an escort, and tons more protected as the fragile queen. I brought this on myself. I earned this. I had to stew in it.
Even my book club was monitored. My guards had to stay with us. Bane was stationed to stand behind me and not move. I kindly sat on the sofa and placed Sarah beside me. Super close. He was going to stand above her as well. She was pins and needles the whole night each time. Once, I looked up to ask his opinion on why guys always had to have hints that we wanted things figuring I’d use the babysitting factor as a guy lesson bonus to benefit Sarah.
His puzzled look forced me t
o give a continued inquiry. Oh, goody! “I mean things like we have to hint when we want flowers and such. Why don’t men think to just do this all the time? That’s what we want.”
“Right on!” Cyly shouted a high five in the air over to Lorah. Lorah shyly hit her hand back. The two of them took turns being the timid flower. I couldn’t keep up with their personalities like I could Sarah. We just clicked.
Bane clearly didn’t want to be cornered, but I wasn’t giving. This was for myself as well as for Sarah and he’d definitely tell Ian everything said.
“Well, my queen, I think that we men worry that we will give the wrong thing and it will be interpreted wrong or not meet the expectations of the woman we are pursuing.” His eyes never left mine.
“This makes sense, but to not get anything is just a broken heart waiting to happen.”
“Noted,” he countered a little more into it now, “but if we failed the one we love, we’ve lost everything in our eyes.”
“Noted.” Wow! I never thought about their end. To see that men are that devoted to one is so amazing when you are THAT ONE. “Thank you for your insight and honesty.”
He nodded.
“Oh, and Bane,” he looked down at me only, “We like roses,” I smiled devilishly. “Cupid...draw back your bow...and let your arrow flow...straight to the one beside and behind me....”
Sarah was in total cherry red blush attack. Bane was looking straight ahead and remained that way. Rigidly!
Ian sent his mom to have a talk with me once at the book club about how this guarding me was a proper thing to do because I was in such grave danger. No one…NO ONE wanted to hear what really happened since it was more of an eye opener than a real live evil doer kidnapping took place and not a good ole fashioned heart to heart among friends. And I never mentioned the alone in a bedroom time with Kin or that I was his slave girl. They questioned how he got me into the court, but gave up instantly when I said he hid my face with a shawl. They must know.
I promised the girls at the book club each ten times that my guards were mostly mute and repeated nothing, but Sarah rattled on tonight about how Rion once followed her around the court to confirm there was a secret meeting without the prince or queen knowing about it only to find out that it was our book club in the forming stages of my bath area. Her flowing mouth suddenly shut closed when Bane had joined us. Weeks later after much matchmaking the arrows from cupid’s bow seemed to be bouncing off the two lovebirds and coming back. Neither one would make a move. I’d become quite enthralled in the whole Bane and Sarah saga and my little reality TV already determined romance for the two of them.
The days went on. The same routine daily with my two guards and less Ian. My patience was thin and my need for him was thick like pea soup.
On the fifth day of solitude vs. surrounded by all, I confronted Ian. I couldn’t take the locked up in a tower princess mode anymore.
“Ian, can I talk to you?” I cornered him at the lunch table after spending the morning taking out my rage on the arrows and the target they tore up. I was getting very accurate as Pike reminded me daily.
“Sure,” Ian said between mouthfuls. I got the distinct impression he’d been avoiding talking to me lately. He’s hurt or scared or something! I needed to resolve this by telling him what happened while I was there. I’d told him some. I beat around the bush when interrogated in front of all, but I had yet to tell him what I should not of held inside for he is who I should have told everything.
He met me in the garden where he sat and brooded just like a man. He wasn’t going to help me with this.
“Ian I want to tell you a few things. First, I think you’re being ridiculous about all the surveillance. I know for a fact that he will not take me again at the trampoline because he said you would expect it now. He promised he wouldn’t take me without me asking, for which I don’t desire either and assured him I wouldn’t come alone again. I didn’t ask for it this last time or the time before that. He misinterpreted my call and lastly, he was more than cordial the entire time only claiming to convince me that his court is the better call. I left him with the reminder that that wouldn’t happen and I wished the best for him. I learned more about his life and why he is the way he is. He changed in some ways for the better however I feel the same Kin is lying underneath and can pop back into play at a moment’s notice. He didn’t harm me, didn’t force me to do anything, and returned me like he said. I didn’t want any of this to happen, but fighting it was a possibility I had to consider that would have ended me into a difficult situation I might not of recovered from. I was deathly afraid I wouldn’t come back from his court because of the way he represented me, but I did. He made me his slave to hide my identity and therefore angered me with the representation, but what could I do? He did as I asked and I am all the richer now for seeing his court up close and knowing my enemy better than most. He will hold off the Nyms from our territories as I have made sure of it and he delivered the message. The real enemy is his father and that is what we should be focused on.”
Ian braced and took his turn though he patiently waited for me to finish. And he didn’t flinch at knowing my disguise to get into the Unseelie court. “You are right. I am selfish. I know you can handle yourself Grace, but I am to be your king as you say and I have boundaries that have been crossed many times now. I will not accept what he is doing as something light. He betrayed you however you want to see it. He betrayed our court system and me by doing it. He is from the winter court and this is simply not done unless he is waging war. I am but one man and I can’t seem to make you happy and help run this court.”
“Make me happy. You suggesting it is just preposterous. Ian, the day you told me who you really were and that I wasn’t alone in how I felt was the happiest moment in my life. I can’t wait to be married to you and call you my own. You have no idea what you do to me inside and out or how you seem to stop me from breathing just by seeing your eyes look at me. I’m drowning. I can’t surface when your focus is strictly on me. I am selfish too. I don’t like to be ignored and seen as easily discarded. I want your full attention and allow nothing to ever pry your eyes away from me. You anger me more than anyone I know simply because you go so far beyond what you should to shelter me and keep me safe. I know this is the only way you know and I try to remember that, but I am a survivor and independent when I need to be. Always have. Always will.”
He pulled me to him and that was that. No more argument. No more sharing. I came to a new conclusion about his way of dealing with me, kissing solves all.
“I need to tell you more about Kin.”
“Later.”
We held each other, locked our faces together a while…well a lot and then some more. I was shaking all over from the impact only then realizing I’d held in a lot of emotion lately and now letting it unleash on him. He felt my body going into the next level of danger zone, base loaded making out when he forced the break. Why did he have to be so virtuous with my virtue?
He walked me to my room. “Why are we here?”
“Sleep.”
I was lost. I wanted to be in his room. “But…”
“For now. I will come see you.”
“Why?” I was hurt.
“Grace, you misunderstand. I can’t…I need a really, really cold shower.”
Oh! Virtue Vulture Ian! Now that I think about it, his eyes were silver. Would we ever make to the wedding?
“You better missy.”
What? I turned to see Danella staring into me motherly pure thoughts. He will be my husband.
Not yet.
He will be, so back off a little. We’ve been good.
“I know, but only by his doing. So let’s keep it that way.”
I folded my arms. “And how do you know?”
“Miss Grace, we will all know when you two have completed.”
WHAT? Were they…no I’m not going to ask. My look begged for answers.
“I only mean that you will be moved
into more of your powers. We will all see it, hear it, know it.”
Oh! That’s a little better, but still embarrassing.
Chapter Thirty Four
recurring- v. occur again, periodically, or repeatedly
The day was here. Or rather, it was tomorrow. I was nervous and with good reason. The court was going about the normal day to day business and frolicking with a nervous queen giving them half smiles and weak nods.
“You are going to be fine,” Ian leaned over to me at the breakfast table and told me for the umpteenth time. I smiled the same half smile at him and he upturned his eyebrow at me. “Don’t believe me?”
“Ian, cool you jets. I’m just crazy nervous.” He put his hand on my arm and I jerked, “No calming the queen without her consent.” Unless it’s to lead me to the bed!
I heard you.
My head jerked at him. Dang it! This unpredictable mind reading since I’ve gotten more control was maddening. I was so good at it and then, boom! I was losing control when I didn’t focus. Just around Ian.
“So no touching. Got it! Any other requests or orders, my love?”
So not going there. Interesting that he heard that small tidbit but not the rest.
“No talking either?”
I turned my imprudent glare at him, but it was clearly doused by the intensity of his eyes and what they were telling me. He was all silver and desire. I was fast running out of restraint with this man. Didn’t he know that showing me those glowing eyes and just open lips were killing me? Can a person die of overcharged hormones? That’s it. Focusing on him was my out. If I thought long enough, I bet I could name every important event pegged with Ian’s smoldering looks. Having the hots for Ian…calmed me. Distracted me. Why not? Love and war.
“Okay, we’ll talk later then.”
Tainted Page 28
