by Holley Trent
She turned her head a bit to the side so his lips grazed the side of her face. “Do you want to do something about it?”
He was quiet for a moment, brooding. “Yeah. I do.”
“Then open them.”
He exhaled, and let the mail client fetch the attachments. They downloaded slowly through the barn’s pokey Internet connection, then opened side-by-side on the wide-screen monitor.
“Damn,” she murmured.
He let out a nervous laugh. “Indeed. Guess Dad has some explaining to do, because that guy could be my goddamned twin. And his mother…well, I guess that’s where the blond comes from because it sure didn’t come from Dad.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Trinity hadn’t wanted to intrude on Jerry’s confrontation with his father, but he insisted if she were there, he wouldn’t lose his shit on the guy.
Jerry wanted to give him a fair opportunity to explain himself before he contacted Clara, and if they ended up arguing he wouldn’t likely get the information he needed. So, the three of them sat in his dad’s home office with the door cracked.
Kate pretended to not be interested in what they were doing in there, but judging by her frequent trips past the door for nothing in particular, she had to have been listening.
“Yes, Clara Thys is your mother,” Dad said, rubbing his red-rimmed eyes with his fingertips.
“And Ben Thys?”
Dad stopped rubbing. His face was stony when he folded his hands together on the desktop.
Jerry didn’t think he would answer, but after a minute he stood from his leather desk chair, and shut the office door completely. He returned to his seat and buried his face in his hands. “Ben is my son.”
“So...what? You’ve gotta explain this to me, Dad, because this kind of shit is what you see in straight-to-video movies.”
“Jerry, it’s complicated.”
“Oh, I’m sure. It would have to be, keeping a secret like that for thirty-two years. And how old is Ben?”
“Thirty.”
“Okay, so that implies that there was a relationship and not just a one-night stand.”
“Yes.”
“What happened? Have some overlap with your women, and decided to break it off, but couldn’t do it cleanly?”
Dad blew out a breath, and shifted his gaze toward the ceiling plaster. “Let’s put it like this. The last time I saw Clara—when I took you—she was pregnant. I didn’t know it until after I did what I did.”
“And what exactly did you do, Dad?”
“There was some paperwork I asked her to sign. I told her it was to establish your dual citizenship, which was a lie. In truth, the papers were forms granting me permission to take you out of the country without her accompaniment. Her English was very poor, you see.”
“I see.”
“Yes, well, after I returned to Belgium she understandably had her hackles up. She was angry that I’d tricked her, but more so that I wasn’t honest about the status of my relationship with Kate. Kate and I were on and off, so I didn’t mean to be deceitful.”
“Right,” Jerry said dryly.
Dad’s lips flattened into a tight line. “She told me there would be another boy, and that I’d never get to see him unless I brought you back. She couldn’t really afford to press, though.”
“So you kept her from me, and yourself from Ben because you’re an idiot and a jackass.”
Trinity gave him a nudge with her sharp elbow, and he closed his eyes and tried to refocus his breathing, meditating on calming things like sunny days at the beach, the smell of surfboard wax, and the softness of Trinity’s hair. Wasn’t helping.
“I made a mistake, Jerry. A really big mistake. Kate didn’t want kids, so I had a big enough problem bringing home this one little towheaded thing, but to confess there was a second?”
“So sorry to create chaos in your life, Dad.”
“Hey, I deserve that. If I had it to do differently, I would. I swear I would. I’d have you both.”
“Or Clara would.”
“Well…”
“Okay! Well, I’m going to just go mull this over. I’m going to a hotel. I can’t stick around here.”
“Jerry, I—”
“Save it, Dad. Listen, if it had been me? I can’t say I know what I would have done, but I think I had the right to know all these years I had a sibling. A full sibling, Dad?” He threw his hands up. “All these years and your wife has been treating me like some kind of freak. I know why now. I’m thirty-two. Thirty-two, Dad. That’s a lot of years of guilt you’ve been piling up. Hope it’s been worth it.”
“I regret a lot of things, Jerry.” Dad’s expression was pained, seeming to almost beseech Jerry to forgive him for other things left unsaid.
“If Jeremiah isn’t the name Clara gave me, then what was?”
Dad wrung his hands. “Louis. Kate thought it’d be better if…if you weren’t a junior.”
Jerry had no response for that. What could he say, really? Nothing seemed adequate. He’d been stripped of his mother and his name, and for what? A lifetime of derision?
Trinity’s soft hand grazed the one he had fisted around the chair arm.
At her touch, he loosened his grip, and took her hand in his.
“You ready?” she asked.
He nodded, and pulled her to standing, and out of the room without another word.
They passed Kate on the way out of the office, and when her lips parted to begin some question, he snapped, “Save it,” and led Trinity up the stairs.
He guided her into his old bedroom where he yanked cords out of his computer equipment, and stuffed them into his duffel.
Trinity sat on the edge of the unmade bed and took in the environment. “Don’t know what I expected, but the room seems tame for you.”
Jerry paused his cord wrangling and observed the shale-colored walls, the rich walnut trim, and the stately wooden queen-sized bed covered in a tasteful plaid spread. The hardwood floor was made dangerously slick by several coats of polyurethane. Other than a dresser and the desk Jerry was raging in front of, the room was completely lacking ornamentation. Kate’s doing.
“They stripped everything when I left for college,” he informed her. “If I didn’t take it with me, I never saw it again. No idea where any of my yearbooks went.”
“That sucks.”
“Better than living under a staircase like Harry Potter, I guess.” He winked, and that somehow put a smile on the woman’s face.
He closed his briefcase, and next turned his attention to his rolling suitcase.
“Are you really going to stay at a hotel?” Trinity walked to the dresser and picked up a stack of T-shirts.
He pointed to his open suitcase, and she nodded.
“It’s just for a little while, pixie.”
“That could get really expensive, and you really don’t know how long it’s going to take for the house to get built. Delays happen all the time and in the meantime you’ll drain your savings.”
Her shoved an armload of underwear into the inside mesh pouch of the suitcase, and expelled a chuckle. “No big deal. I’ll pick up a few modeling gigs on the weekends. Maybe I’ll even fly out to Los Angeles and do the one Bobby keeps emailing me about. It’ll keep me afloat for a couple of months.”
“I don’t want you to do it.” It all came out of Trinity’s mouth in one huff, and was barely intelligible.
“Oh? Why not, pixie?”
“Because you hate it. You said it yourself.”
“I did say that, but you’re a horrible liar. I don’t think you’re concerned at all about my principles.”
“You’re right. Maybe I don’t like the idea of women ogling you.”
This time, he laughed for real. He dropped his socks into his suitcase and drew her into a rocking bear hug. “Pixie, they can look all they want, but I’m happy with what I’ve got. I couldn’t do any better even if I tried.”
“And…and what exactly do yo
u have?”
“To be so smart you really are dense, pix.”
“Me?” she squeaked, and those brown eyes went wide.
He caressed her chin with the pad his thumb and met her wary gaze. “If you’ll have me.”
* * *
He’s kidding, right? His eyes were warm, his smile tentative. Was he really saying he wanted her in some official capacity? For real?
She swallowed. “I…that’s what I wanted to talk to you about earlier, then things got crazy at the barn.”
“What?”
“Jerry, I suck at everything. I always have to run the dishwasher twice because I never rinse and I load them wrong and Ginger still does my laundry because I can never get the stains out. I didn’t pay attention to that stuff when I was a kid. I was too busy studying and worrying about being worth something. I’m not exactly well-rounded.”
“Okay, so you suck at some things. So do I…just different things. I suck at saying no. We both work too much and have issues with work-life balance. Maybe we can find that balance together. I think we’ve already started, but we could certainly use some more practice.”
“Huh?”
“I don’t care if you’re a shitty housekeeper. To be honest, the thought never crossed my mind. I just want you to want to be at home. With me.”
“You’re…my first.”
“I get that, but thank you for reminding me of the gift.” He placed a kiss on her forehead, and she melted in his embrace.
Focus! “She pulled back, reluctantly. “No, I mean first everything. First serious attachment. I’m completely unpracticed in matters of love.”
“Oh.”
Here we go.
She waited for the fall-out—for the kind dismissal.
Instead, his eyes softened, and smirk waned. “So, you’re not sure if it’s real.”
She shook her head, emphatically. “I know it’s real, Jerry, but how does that make you feel? Does that turn you off? Because, frankly, I don’t know what to expect. I’m not really much of a catch, as we’ve established.”
He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her into the open V of his legs. “Do you? Love me, I mean.”
She didn’t have to think about it, and just nodded.
“How do you know?”
“Because I feel awful when you’re not around. Being in your company has been surprisingly enjoyable, and…” She swallowed. Spit it out, girl. “…and I like that you want to hold my feet on your lap when we’re on the sofa.”
That coy grin of his returned, but he pulled her in closer, wrapping his arms around her waist and staring adoringly at her. “I feel like shit when you’re not around, too.”
“So, you’re not bothered that I’m inexperienced in pretty much everything in life beyond mixing chemicals?”
“I think that bothers you more than it does me. That stuff just makes up your quirks. I have my own, right?”
“I guess.”
“If you’re fine with me keeping you forever, I’m fine about the fact I got to you before anyone else.”
She laughed and ran fingers through his loose hair. “Well, put like that, sounds like you got the better end of the deal.”
“We’ll balance the scales somehow, Trinity. Listen, I love you the way you are, and I’m flattered you want to complicate your life with me.”
He pulled her in closer and his eyes trained on her lips.
Kate pushed the door open.
“God,” he murmured, pulling away.
“Louis said you were leaving. Need any help?” The woman looked downright gleeful. Trinity wanted to smack her, and she hadn’t even been formally introduced to the woman yet.
Jerry nudged Trinity out of his line of sight to set his stare on Kate, and stood. “No. I have two bags. You’ve never lifted a finger to help me do anything so there’s no need to start now.”
He stuffed his keys into his pocket, then seemed to have second thoughts because he pulled the ring back out, leafed through them, found one old burnished bronze-toned key, and spiraled it around the holder. He tossed it onto the dresser, and then put the rest of his keys back in his pocket. He zipped his suitcase and duffel, and held his briefcase out to Trinity.
She took it.
He put his hand on the small of Trinity’s back and guided her toward the door.
Kate didn’t seem interested in moving from her spot in the doorway, so Trinity just found a gap and eased through it, briefcase-first.
Jerry was much less patient. “Are you waiting for roots to spring forth from your feet, or can you actually move from that spot?” he asked in a tone Trinity had never heard him use, not even when he found some guy in Florida running a reverse engineered version of the shopping cart system Jerry had programmed from scratch for Natural by Nicolette. Yeah, he’d told the guy what he could go do with himself and where, but he hadn’t even raised his voice.
The Jerry in the doorway behind her was seriously agitated. He had the same sort of intensity on his face as he had the first time they’d made love, but in the other end of the emotional spectrum entirely. It kind of turned her on a bit. She cleared her throat and tried not to think of sex when there was so much obvious tension in the air.
Kate seemed frozen in place. She looked at Trinity first, then turned her gaze to Jerry who was still on the other side of his room door, waiting for enough space to get out without throttling his adoptive mother with his suitcase. He was kind enough to do that, at least.
Finally she moved, and he caught up to Trinity in three short strides.
They were silent all the way out to the Jeep, and didn’t speak again until standing in front of the cargo area piling in the two bags.
He pulled out his phone and dialed.
“Who are you calling?” she asked.
A door slammed at the house, then the sound of dress loafers clacking against asphalt culminated in Louis’s arrival at the back of the Jeep.
Jerry was already talking to whomever he dialed, and turned his back, so Louis focused his attention on Trinity.
“He doesn’t have to leave, you know. This is just…it seems worse than it is. Kate is just…”
Trinity put up her hands. Not her business. “Mr. Rouse, I really don’t know enough about this situation to voice an opinion about it. I’m not the one you need to convince.”
“I know, it’s just I thought maybe if someone else said it to him, he’d be more likely to believe it. I was a young man—your age, probably—who didn’t know what he wanted.” He leaned away from the Jeep’s cargo area and took a glance at the house’s front door. Obviously Kate wasn’t watching, or if she was, she was being discreet. “I was selfish. I used Clara as some kind of back-up plan and that wasn’t fair to her.”
“Clara’s not the one I would be concerned with. Clara always had the option of moving on—finding someone else to love. But the boys…”
“Yes. That’s, well…”
Jerry ended his call then and slammed the Jeep’s back gate shut. “All set for the coming week. You want me to drive you to your car, Trinity?”
All set where? “Yeah, but can you follow me home?”
“Of course, but why? Now that Preston and Becky are out of the picture you don’t have to worry about them sneaking up on you.”
“Oh, it’s not that. I’d planned on getting Indian food tonight. There’s always too much, and since you haven’t eaten…and maybe you can stay…”
He didn’t catch that end part. “Sure, I could use the company, sweetheart.”
“Jerry, you can both stay here for dinner. We could talk…”
“No, I don’t think so, Dad.” Jerry crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against his spare wheel.
“Okay, I guess I deserve that, but just tell me—are you going to contact her? Clara, I mean.”
“Yes.”
“You’ll let me know how it goes?”
“Probably not. Chances are very high I’ll give you about a quarter
of the information you want, then wait thirty years and spring the rest on you. Better take your vitamins so you’ll live to hear it.”
Louis looked toward the front door again and lowered his voice to whisper. “I want to see him, you know. Ben.”
Jerry was about to make some retort, but Trinity laid her hand on his bare forearm and shook her head gently.
He sighed, and instead of furthering the discussion he walked to the front passenger door and pulled it open.
Trinity climbed up and let him buckle her in.
She was a grown woman and could certainly figure out how to fasten her own seatbelt, but all the same she thought the gesture was sweet.
Jerry gave his father a mock salute, and strode to the driver’s side.
As they backed reversed onto the street, Trinity watched Louis—his back turned to the house—raking hands through rumpled hair, and yanking it. He was going to get it coming and going, no matter what he did. She didn’t envy the mess he had to clean up, although she did wonder what he’d do first to try.
She and Jerry rode in silence toward the barn, and she bit her tongue, not wanting to break into his reverie—but this was important. They’d gone too long not reaching out to each other, and this was such a small thing.
He parked, and reached for her seatbelt buckle, but she put her hand over it.
“Too comfortable in that seat, Trin?”
“No. Listen.” She turned toward him, and met his curious stare.
“Dumping me already? That’s pretty cold, pixie. I’m know my family is a mess, but—”
She clamped her free hand over his mouth and rolled her eyes. “Shush. I don’t care about your messy family. Wait until you meet my grandmother Irene. She’ll do worse than call you ‘pretty’.” She dropped her hand. “Look, you don’t have to stay in a hotel. If It wouldn’t drive you nuts, I’d like it if you’d stay with me. I should probably make the most of this time with Aunt Ginger being gone and find myself or something, but…I fear I may be fundamentally unsuitable for loneliness.” Kinda like Ginger. Taking Trinity in all those years ago made sense now. Some people need people, even if they fight it.
