Broken Butterfly

by Cindy Patterson

  Mallory searched the darkened hallway. “I really shouldn’t. I’m so behind. And I haven’t had time to do my personal laundry this week. It would be best to not leave anyway.”

  “I have something you can wear. Do you need to grab anything else? I already told Nancy I was here to pick you up.” Rachel spit the words out so fast Mallory couldn’t argue.

  She followed Rachel to her car, telling herself it would be all right. She’d finished all she could today. And to be honest, it had nothing to do with her chores, but everything to do with Victoria.

  Nancy waved from the apartment door. “Go ahead.”

  When they reached Rachel’s house, they ran upstairs, and she took four outfits from her closet. Why would Rachel offer to let her borrow her clothes? It made no sense.

  “You should hurry. Everyone will arrive at seven.”

  Mallory tried on the black, lace top with white jeans first, then opened the door. Rachel’s mouth widened. “I like it. It fits you perfect.”

  Mallory finished trying on all four outfits before Rachel chose the pink, tank top paired with a denim jacket and jean capris. She dressed quickly and followed Rachel down stairs to answer the first knock on the door. An Amish girl greeted them. Mallory had seen Amish people driving by on their horse drawn buggies and even in town, but she’d never met one of them. The girl came in and gave Rachel a hug before she faced Mallory.

  Rachel made introductions.

  Mary’s radiant smile broke through the tall barriers she’d built, and she savored the warmth of her friendliness. “It’s wunderbaar-gut to meet ya. I’m so glad ya came.”

  A few more girls arrived. When Victoria never came, Mallory relaxed and took a seat between Rachel and the girl named Kelli. Sitting quietly, she listened.

  “I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for a vacation.” Kelli opened her Bible.

  Mallory didn’t have one and pushed her hands beneath her legs.

  “A vacation, yah. My Abby is growing like weeds in my flower bed.” Mary rubbed a hand across her swollen belly. “And this one feels like a tumble weed.”

  Everyone laughed.

  Mallory felt so out of place. She hadn’t even finished high school. She had nothing in common with these girls.

  One of the other girls leaned back hard against her chair. “Have you ever had a guy get upset when you didn’t tell him your every move?”

  The stinging memory came over her like an approaching storm. She bit her tongue and stood. “Can you excuse me?”

  She closed the bathroom door behind her. After only a couple of minutes of staring at her reflection, she masked her expression and returned to the living room. Things were different here. The past was behind her.

  Rachel handed Mallory a book. The other girls already had one. The Bible Study started with a video, and they watched in silence. Mallory didn’t understand most of it, but found it interesting and enjoyed listening to the woman speaking.

  ‘God’s favorite is for us to believe, to have faith, so that he can respond with proof.’

  Mallory was removed from a dangerous situation in a way she’d never dreamed possible. Had Jesus been the one who’d given her a chance, an escape?

  The girls had a small discussion once the video concluded, and Mallory continued to sit quietly. They closed in prayer, then everyone stood.

  “Mallory, it was so nice to meet you.” Kelli took her hand. “I hope to see you next Thursday.”

  “Jah, Mallory. We want you to come back. It’s a wunderbar-gut time, jah?” Mary gave her a warm hug before she stepped through the front door after Kelli.

  Mallory followed Rachel to the front porch. Mary climbed into her black buggy as Kelli and the other girls drove away. They ran back upstairs to Rachel’s room, so Mallory could change into her uniform.

  A teddy bear fell over on the bed, when Rachel sat next to it. “How did you like it?”

  Mallory smiled. “It was fun. Thanks for inviting me.”

  “So, you’ll come again next week?”

  “I’ll think about it.” She didn’t want to make a commitment yet—she wasn’t sure what she thought.

  Rachel took the clothes from the bed, placed them inside a bag, and handed it to Mallory. “I want you to have these. They’re so cute on you. My best friend Samantha and I used to switch clothes. And don’t feel weird about everyone knowing they came from me. I haven’t worn any of these since I moved here. People will only see what great taste you have.” Her fun-filled laughter held nothing but genuine kindness.

  Mallory faced the mirror. She believed Rachel wanted to be her friend. She wanted it too. But she was also a friend of Victoria’s, and that didn’t make any sense.

  “Thank you, Rachel. I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything. Hey, it’s still early. Why don’t we ride into town and get some ice cream?”

  Mallory chewed on her lower lip. “Uh, okay.”

  They climbed into the car, and Rachel pushed a button to remove the convertible top. She drove onto the highway leading into town. The cool, night air raised goose bumps along Mallory’s arms, but she enjoyed the wind blowing through her hair.

  “I’m so glad you came tonight. How did you like my other friends?”

  Rachel’s question threw Mallory off, but it would be a good opportunity to find out if Victoria usually came.

  “I like them a lot. They’re all so nice. Are they the only girls in your group?”

  “Yes, it’s the five of us, but we’d really like you to come. Everyone wants you to, they told me. They were talking about it while you were in the bathroom.”

  Mallory exhaled, her tense shoulders relaxing. “Really?”

  She’d never been invited to be a part of anything like this before. She wanted to, but didn’t know if she should. She didn’t belong.

  “Don’t seem so surprised. I’m sure you had plenty of friends back home.”

  Never. Until now. The closest thing she’d ever had to a friend was the kid she’d met in the school yard woods, so long ago. Mallory pushed away the memories. It produced unwelcomed feelings—feelings that could destroy everything she’d worked so hard fighting against.

  “They said you were really sweet and so pretty.”

  Heat rushed to her cheeks. “Really?”

  Rachel chuckled. “I told her we were going to model for the same magazine. We should order a yogurt instead. We want to keep our modeling figures.” Rachel puckered her lips and looked in the rearview mirror.

  Mallory laughed as Rachel parked. “You don’t have to give me an answer right now; but please come next week. At least until you no longer want to.”

  Mallory had only been to town a couple of times, but never this late. Shop lights flickered across the sidewalk, casting shadows through the small town. Mallory searched the signs trying to remember where she’d seen an ice cream shop.

  The feeling of hitting a brick wall stopped her short. Strong arms caught her as she fell to her knees. A sharp pain shot through her ankle and dizziness swept through her. Her lower leg throbbed as she twisted her foot back into position. Unable to get up, she stayed seated on the sidewalk rubbing her skin. All sounds vanished as his familiar voice seeped through the night. “Are you all right?”

  Mallory’s words caught in her throat. Eric, Victoria’s Eric, stood over her.

  The next minute was a blur. He lifted her up, led her to a bench, and squatted in front of her. Her muscles tensed as he wrapped his hands around her leg.

  After a quick, flustered glance in her direction, he looked away. “Tell me if this hurts.”

  Rachel knelt beside him. Mallory couldn’t speak. She looked around searching for Victoria.

  “It’s bleeding,” he paused, his eyes searching hers. “Mallory, I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention to
where I was going.” His voice, the sound of him speaking her name … she couldn’t concentrate.

  “It’s not your fault. I’m fine.” She tried to wiggle her ankle from beneath his fingers. Victoria could be watching them right now.

  “Does this hurt?” He rubbed his fingers gently across her bare skin, sending shivers down her spine. His gaze met hers and Mallory found herself locked in his trance.

  “Not … much,” Mallory whispered.

  Eric pulled a twenty from his pocket and handed it to Rachel. “Can you run to the drug store and grab some gauges, cleanser, and an ankle brace?”

  Mallory shifted.

  “Are you uncomfortable?” He scooted to one side, giving her more room, but still held to her leg.

  “Where’s Victoria?” The words fell from her mouth before she even realized it.

  “Victoria?” His forehead wrinkled. “I don’t know, why?”

  “I … just thought …” Mallory eased her ankle from him. She couldn’t stand sitting in this position—sitting this close to him any longer.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m only trying to help.”

  “You’re not. I appreciate this, I really do, but it’s not necessary. I’m fine.”

  Mallory hoped to see Rachel crossing the street. The lane was empty. The street lights brightened as twilight loomed. She wanted to move somewhere darker, where no one would see them—here together. It wasn’t his fault. Her gaze drifted back to his face, but the tension stood like a thick fog corrupting the innocent moment.

  Mallory held his gaze, and a nervous giggle escaped when he didn’t look away.

  “What’s so funny?”

  Her cheeks warmed. “Nothing, I’m s-o-r-r-y.” Her slurred words seemed louder underneath the darkening sky.

  “Here’s everything you asked for.” Rachel returned and the bag crinkled beneath Eric’s fingers as he took the few items out.

  “We should go somewhere with more light.” Eric started to stand.

  “No,” Mallory said, louder than she intended.

  Their heads snapped in her direction.

  “I mean, I’m really okay. You don’t need to go through all this trouble for me.” She hoped she sounded better than she felt. She wanted to get away from here. Now.

  Wanting his hands off her, Mallory tried to stand, forgetting her ankle. She tumbled awkwardly into her seat, and he reached out to steady her. She couldn’t take this anymore. The longer she sat there the worse she felt. Or was it better? Everything was so confusing.

  The coolness of the cleansing wipe raised chills across her leg as Eric brushed it with soft strokes against the abrasion. She cringed. Her attraction had grown fiercely in the last five minutes.

  What’s wrong with me? I can’t feel this way, especially about him.

  He’s engaged to Victoria. But that didn’t matter. The attraction was there from the beginning—from the first time he looked into her eyes standing in Rachel’s kitchen. The way her name sounded when he said it.

  Ten

  Mallory winced. “Stop!”

  “I’m sorry, did that hurt?” Eric softened his grip.

  “No, I really need to get home. It’s getting late and Nancy will worry.”

  Rachel dialed numbers into her phone before Mallory had a chance to stop her.

  The phone call was quick and to the point. “Hi, Nancy. This is Rachel. Mallory fell and twisted her ankle ... Yes, she’s okay. But we’re fixing her up. I’ll bring her home after we get some ice cream … Okay, see you later. Bye.”

  Rachel closed the phone and looked right at Mallory.

  “You were going for ice cream? You’ll have to let me treat you, since this was my fault.”

  Mallory rubbed her upper arms. There had to be some way out of this. If Victoria found out, she would be livid. Would she still have a job? Where would she go? She had nothing—no one. She didn’t want to leave, she wanted to stay. Even if she was only the hired help—the student. She couldn’t tell Rachel any of this, but had to tell her something.

  “Can I speak to you alone, please?” Mallory grabbed Rachel’s arm.

  She glanced at Eric and waited until he stood and walked away. “What’s wrong?”

  “I really need to go home. I’m not feeling all that great.” It was true. She didn’t feel good at all. “Can we do the ice cream thing some other time?”

  “All right, if you want.” She stood and motioned for Eric to join them. “I’m going to get her home. We’ll take a rain check on the ice cream.”

  Mallory cringed. She would never allow herself to be put in this position again.

  He knelt in front of her holding the bench for support. She trained her eyes on his hands. He placed the ankle brace on her foot, and her pulse tripled as tingles rushed through her body, until she could no longer breathe evenly.

  Eric secured the brace, and she snatched her foot away like it stung. She stood, awkwardly at first, but feeling his arms wrap around her waist forced the pain from her mind. She had to do this on her own, unable to handle being near him a second more. But none of her efforts mattered. His arms stayed securely around her as they walked toward Rachel’s car. The sound of him saying her name echoed in her mind … over and over.

  “How does it feel? Can you put any pressure on it?”

  She couldn’t speak, couldn’t focus. Mallory didn’t want to hurt his feelings. He had been so nice, but she couldn’t trust him—couldn’t trust her feelings.

  “It’ll be sore tomorrow, so take it easy.” His eyes were fixed on her. She could feel it.

  Sitting in the passenger seat, she was thankful to no longer be bound by his grip. She needed to stay as far from him as possible.

  “I’ll see you later.” Eric watched her as if waiting for a response. Mallory had nothing to give him and trained her eyes on the floorboard.

  “Bye, Eric.” Rachel grinned. “Thanks for all your help. Don’t worry, she’ll be fine. I’ll take good care of her.” Rachel patted Mallory’s hand.

  Eric closed the door and Mallory exhaled when he finally left. He walked away, head down. He turned, catching her staring after him. She looked away, but not soon enough. His gentle smile took her breath.

  Rachel turned the car onto the street. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” The tremble in her voice carried through the car. “Thanks for everything, Rachel.”

  “When will you be able to return for tutoring?”

  “When Mr. Chamberlain comes back I guess. It’s been put on hold until he returns.”

  They rode the rest of the drive without talking. The radio played and Rachel sang softly, her voice identical to the girl’s on the radio.

  Mallory would never see Eric in the same way. Something clicked tonight, and she would forever be changed. She couldn’t allow herself to be around him, but if he visited Victoria often it would be almost impossible to avoid him. If ever she wished praying would help, she wanted to believe it now.

  Eric slammed his fist against the steering wheel. He didn’t want Mallory to feel uncomfortable, but she’d made it clear she didn’t want his assistance. When he first lifted her from the ground, it was only to help. But once he touched her ankle, something happened. The way her skin felt against his fingers, the blue and green butterfly tattoo ... it was ridiculous to think this way.

  He was dating Victoria Chamberlain, a beautiful girl. Wasn’t that enough? No. Victoria was nothing more to him than a girl to spend time with. She was shallow, always thinking of herself—someone his mother would approve of. Mallory was a mystery. He couldn’t fight the feeling she had something, something he’d longed for.

  She didn’t trust him. But why? What was she afraid of? He wanted to prove her wrong. Although she worked for Mr. Chamberlain as a maid, it didn’t seem to bother he
r. She had been the one hurt tonight, but seemed more worried about him.

  Eric wanted to find out everything he could about the girl. His emotions were unbalanced. The memory of how he felt when their eyes met … the feel of her skin against his still lingered in his memory as he turned on the country lane heading toward home.

  Mallory pressed deeper into her pillow hating for the dream to end. The usual nightmares haunting her night after night had vanished if for only one night. This dream had been different—a dream that would never come true.

  She arrived at the main house earlier than usual, her ankle still sore. She had to talk her way out of serving breakfast this morning although it was one of the items on her new list.

  Marla and Sebastian sent her on her way without argument. She couldn’t face Victoria this morning. Not after last night. Not after her dream. Eric’s face was too vivid in her memory, the nearness of him too real. She couldn’t stop the sensation that coursed through every thread of her awareness with each thought of him.

  Mallory ran upstairs to start her chores, careful to avoid Victoria. She tried to keep her expression neutral as she dusted the pictures hanging along the upstairs walls. It was impossible. In clear, crisp snatches, images of Eric squatted below her escalated to soaring heights, and the burning sensation of his fingertips still smoldered against her skin.

  If only she could forget.

  She walked down the back stairway, her mind racing against the memories, each one flawless as if they’d happened only moments ago.

  At lunch, Mallory strolled through the garden. Andrew was sitting on the same bench and motioned for her to join him.

  Mallory sat a couple of feet from him. “Hi.”

  “I was hoping you’d come out here for lunch. I get tired of talking to the butterflies.”

  Butterfly.

  An icy, jagged blade ripped through her middle at the word she’d tried so hard to forget, and she stood. Forgetting about her ankle, she gasped when a sharp pain shot through her leg.