Once Helen said to Worth, “Kellogg doesn’t say much, does he?”
“I know.” Worth grinned. “Kellogg’s a bit of a stick-in-the-mud. But he’s reliable and honest and kind, and he’s willing to live with my sister, so that’s good enough for me.”
Helen quickly learned not to criticize Worth’s relatives. The Wheelwright family had always been close, and the loss of the second son had made them treasure one another even more.
All these years later, as Helen lay sleepless in bed before the wedding of her own older son, she assured herself that family was still first in Worth’s heart. He wouldn’t want a divorce. She was pretty sure of that.
But then, she had never expected him to be unfaithful.
She hadn’t yet confronted Worth with her knowledge of his affair. She knew that when she did, the ground under their marriage would crumble. A divide had already opened between them, but a bridge still joined their parallel lives, a necessary union, supporting their family. First, to celebrate Nona’s birthday with the attention it deserved, and now, three weeks later, to honor Oliver and Owen’s wedding.
Oliver’s wedding was the last big event for the family. Then the summer would truly have arrived. Nona’s house would remain full of her children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren until fall. Worth and the other Bank Boys would come and go, dividing their lives between Boston and Nantucket, but Helen would stay on the island as she always had, helping Glorious and Grace buy groceries, cook, and clean, and also swimming, sailing, playing tennis, and attending concerts and plays. It was always a luxurious, idle few weeks. This year, Helen wanted to get to know Suzette better; the young woman seemed to trust her more each day. She thought Suzette felt comfortable with Charlotte and Nona, too; she certainly hoped so. Suzette would have her baby in September.
And Teddy? Teddy was working! He was managing Gray Lady Antiques. Helen didn’t care what Suzette’s background was, she was a miracle worker where Teddy was concerned. Teddy was not drinking or doing drugs, he wasn’t playing stupid practical jokes or getting speeding tickets or sneaking out to the garden to smoke pot. He was working and attending AA meetings every day, and he was obviously in love with Suzette and happy about the coming baby. This was a fragile peace for Teddy, an unusual and delicate state. Helen didn’t want to upset it by a breath of dissension, and certainly not by the torching explosion of her anger at Worth.
Helen twisted onto her left side and punched her pillow. This bed was lumpy. The summer air was gradually increasing in humidity, and in her irritated state she thought she could feel her hair frizzing. She forced herself to take deep, calming breaths.
Suddenly she heard a noise, and then she felt someone on the bed. She raised her head and saw her husband sitting there in his striped cotton pajamas.
“Worth?”
“I have melancholy,” Worth said, and, lifting the sheet, he climbed into bed with her, lying on his side so that she spooned against his back.
I have melancholy—that was a family catchphrase. When Oliver was a very small child, he’d said that to them the day after Christmas, and since then they used the remark whenever nothing was really wrong but something seemed missing, some essential but invisible thing.
How very strange, almost shocking, it was to have Worth’s warm solid bulk sinking into this narrow bed with her. His shoulders rose up, his bum nudged against her belly, and as she adjusted herself to his girth, scooting closer to the wall, he eased a hand over to pull part of her pillow over to cushion his own head. Her arm had no place to go except over his torso, and when she laid her arm over him, he took her hand with his and held it. He gave off warmth, and his body made the bed sag down in his direction, so that she was rolled against him.
He said softly, “I’ve been remembering Oliver as a little boy. Remember when he spent one afternoon tying all those balloons to the picnic basket, thinking he’d be able to drift up into the sky?”
Helen smiled at the memory. “I’d forgotten about that.”
Worth shifted slightly, nestling more closely. “Remember that summer he spent building houses from playing cards? What patience he had. Those houses were enormous, and he didn’t cheat and use glue, he just carefully balanced card after card.”
“He was an architect even back then,” Helen said.
“Remember the plays the kids used to perform?” Worth chuckled. “The Vampires of Vaudeville.”
“Sherlock Holmes and the Missing Martian,” Helen said. “They covered Teddy with green eye shadow and stuck on hideous warts made out of green Play-Doh.” She shuddered.
Worth nodded, his head moving against the pillow. “We have wonderful children, don’t we, Helen?”
She was touched. “We do.”
“They’re certainly individuals. Not who I thought they’d turn out to be. It’s taken me awhile to get used to that.” Worth’s voice was sad. “I remember how much I wanted to be just like my dad. Go to work at the bank, share his knowledge about money and the state of the world. I admired my father above all other men.”
Helen stroked her husband’s hand. “Your children admire you, too.”
“Not in the same way. I’m not trying to be maudlin, I’m just stating a fact. I keep thinking about my childhood, comparing it to that of our children, and I just don’t see much of a difference, yet they don’t hold any of the values I had at their age. Security, continuity, family, and community—these mean nothing to them.”
As Worth talked, his voice low and confiding, Helen felt the puff of his breath and the hum of words in his chest and was carried back to all the other nights they’d lain together like this, talking over some problem or another. There had been so many problems, mostly with Teddy and his escapades. Ever since the boy was fourteen, he’d been caught drinking too much, or been brought home drunk, or was found stealing something from Oliver or Charlotte, and then it was as if Helen and Worth had been caught up in a whirlpool; they’d struggle to save their son, keep their own heads above water, and make it back safe to shore. Their bed had become a kind of life raft for them, a safe retreat; they would crawl in together and lie side by side, calming down, the warmth and bulk of each other’s body providing reassurance in the troubled night.
“I feel I have a responsibility to my father,” Worth said, moving so that his bare foot rested on Helen’s leg. “And to my grandfather. And to Nona. To keep the bank strong. To preserve the Wheelwrights’ place in the world. I know Grace’s husband and sons-in-law can do that, are doing that, but I’m the oldest, I’m the male, and while that’s not supposed to matter in this day and age, it does. My father counted on me to carry on his traditions, in the bank and at home. I feel I’m failing him.”
“You’re not failing him,” Helen said, but the murmur of his words was making her drowsy. Sleep, like a dark seductive sea, was pulling her under, deliciously, and she wanted to surrender to it. A thought flashed up from the depths, through her mind. She should say, And did your father have a mistress called Sweet Cakes? But she couldn’t summon up the energy to speak. The mistress would still be there tomorrow and the next day, and the pain—the anxiety of how their lives would change—would not disappear. But right now she felt so cozy, lying here pressed against her husband’s back. It was a familiar and soothing situation; she had not been so physically pleased for a long time. The simple touching of his body to hers. Not in sex but in marriage, friendship, companionship, and trust. Dear old friend, she thought, and with her hand still in her husband’s, she fell asleep.
Oliver and Owen were married in the late afternoon. The officiating minister, who had flown in from California, was completely bald, with pointed ears and a grave, still manner; he resembled Mr. Spock. The ceremony was held on the beach, and the weather blessed them with blue sky, a blazing sun, and a gentle sea breeze. Owen’s parents had flown in for the occasion. They stood at Owen’s side, and Worth and Helen stood by Oliver, while the vows were spoken. Earlier in the day, Charlotte had decorat
ed a twisting piece of driftwood with flowers, a kind of little altar, and Grace flitted from place to place, shooting photos of the ceremony.
Afterward, they filed back up through the wild rosebushes and over the lawn, through the house, and out into the hedged garden, where a long table had been set up with a dramatically high tiered cake in the place of honor. Champagne was poured and handed out by Kellogg and Grace, because Oliver and Owen wanted to keep things informal, and Oliver’s aunt and uncle were pleased to be able to repay some of the many duties Worth and Helen had performed at the various marriages of their three daughters. There were about fifty people in all. Most of the guests were friends of the wedding couple, handsome professional men who would, later in the evening, leave for the house Oliver and Owen had rented for the real party. The families were invited to the later party, too, but Oliver had been thoughtful not to entertain the group, which would drink and dance into the small hours of the morning, at Nona’s house, disturbing the peace of his grandmother and his cousin’s little children.
Helen moved among the crowd, loving the flow and drape of her long turquoise skirt against her legs, sipping champagne, talking with the guests. Phyllis Lowry the wife of bank director Lew Lowry and one of Helen’s oldest friends, was sitting on a bench, and Helen joined her.
“Do you know,” she confided in a low voice, “I think I’m getting just a tiny bit tight.”
Phyllis laughed. She was a tall woman whose black hair had gone a shining snow white. “It’s the relief,” she told Helen. “The ceremony is over, all the details are dealt with, and now you can relax.” Leaning closer, she whispered, “Don’t look now, but—Whit and Charlotte.”
Helen allowed her gaze to drift over the crowd and, sure enough, there her daughter was, talking with Whit, smiling at Whit. These two had known each other since childhood. When she was thirteen, Charlotte had developed a painfully intense crush on Whit, but they had never really dated as far as Helen knew.
Helen looked away. “I will not get my hopes up,” she told Phyllis. “Not with my children.”
“Whit’s probably telling her about his friend Laura Riding. She’s started a new magazine, Eat Local.”
“Oh, I’ve seen it. Matte paper and lots of great photography?”
“Right. It’s a national publication, with local articles inserted for each state. Whit told Laura she should write up Beach Grass Garden.”
“How great! Charlotte will be thrilled.” Helen linked her arm with Phyllis’s. “Whit is so wonderful. He recommended Teddy for the antiques shop. Teddy’s actually been working, every day.”
“Well, good thing. He’s going to be a father.” Phyllis squeezed Helen. “You’re going to become a grandmother.”
“And about time, too!”
Helen was laughing as she continued to sweep her eyes around the garden. So many handsome young men. Why she wondered, were gay men all so handsome? She saw Nona seated in her chair by the house, in the shade, regal in scarlet silk pajamas. Suzette sat next to her, looking sweet in a blue maternity dress Mellie had given her. Her multicolored hair had grown slightly, so that instead of sticking out in clumps it curled lightly, feathering close to her head. Every so often Nona would lean near Suzette and say something, and Suzette would smile and nod. Progress was being made there, Helen thought, and took another sip of champagne and allowed herself to be, for the moment, happy. Almost triumphant.
Then her gaze fell on her second son, Teddy, and her heart caught in her throat. Because the ceremony was held on the beach, the dress was casual. Teddy wore crisp white flannels and one of his more colorful Hawaiian print shirts. His blond hair was long enough now that he pulled it back in a funny little ponytail at the nape of his neck. He was talking with one of Oliver’s California friends, and he held a flute of champagne in his hand.
Helen hurriedly corrected herself. Perhaps it wasn’t champagne. Perhaps it was water—but no, it wasn’t water, the color was wrong, it was the pale sunshine yellow of champagne. Could it be grapefruit juice? As she stared, Teddy tilted the glass and drank. He downed the glass in one swallow, then said something to the other man and left to walk to the drinks table, where he set his glass down and picked up another, a glass Helen had just seen the bartender pour from a champagne bottle.
Perhaps champagne didn’t really count as alcohol, Helen thought quickly. Who really ever got drunk on champagne? Perhaps Teddy felt obligated to drink at Oliver’s wedding—but no, that didn’t work, because Teddy had drunk water at Nona’s birthday party.
“Excuse me, Phyllis.” Helen set her own glass on the brick path and rose. She headed toward her younger son, but people stopped her to congratulate her and praise gorgeous Oliver, and when she got to where Teddy had been, he was gone. She turned, scanning the crowd.
Teddy was with his brother and one of Oliver’s California friends—right now Helen couldn’t remember the man’s name. As Helen watched, Teddy aimed a hearty slap at Oliver’s shoulder. Oliver was a few inches taller than his younger brother, and while both men were slender, Oliver’s posture was erect, his limbs muscular. Beside him, Teddy looked too thin.
“Congratulations, big brother!” Addressing the California friend—Brad, Helen thought; his name is Brad—who stood next to Oliver, Teddy announced jovially, “You know, every time I see Oliver, it’s to congratulate him for something. Graduating from high school, graduating from college, getting his architect’s degree, winning that award in San Francisco—Oliver’s a golden boy, aren’t you, Oliver? You’re a real golden boy.”
Oliver dipped his head and said something softly to Teddy.
In response, Teddy tilted his glass and drained it. “But it’s a party!” he declared. “A celebration. Another celebration! For you, Oliver, handsome handsome Oliver, talented Oliver, and of course you would find a mate from a terribly terribly socially accepted family. You’re just a golden boy, Oliver!” Keeping his hand on his brother’s shoulder, Teddy roughly shook his brother in rhythm to his words, “A golden boy, a golden boy, that’s what you are, a golden boy!” He lurched aggressively toward Brad. “Right? Am I right? Don’t you think Oliver’s a golden boy?”
A deep, exhausting sadness possessed Helen, and the iron brand of a headache scorched her forehead. She had been in this place before, many times before, with Teddy drunk after a beach party in high school or college, or drunk at home in Boston when he showed up for one of his unannounced visits. So she knew better than to try to lead him away from the party. Teddy would never hurt her—Teddy was not a mean drunk—but even as thin as he was, he was stronger than Helen, and if he swayed or stumbled against her, he could knock her over. He had knocked her over before, accidentally. She saw her husband headed toward Oliver and Teddy, a strained smile on his face.
“Oh, no!” Teddy broke into a crowing laugh. “Here comes Dad! It’s crackers and milk in my room again! Crackers and milk for me, because I’m the bad boy. Champagne and cheers for you, Ollie, old chap, you’re the golden boy.”
By now Teddy’s voice was loud enough to summon everyone’s attention, and Helen was aware of the crowd pausing in their conversations and turning to stare. Helen looked to see how Nona was taking all this. In state on the bench, Nona resembled some kind of gigantic beetle with her fat torso and stick limbs, and she was just about as nimble as an overturned beetle, unable to rise without someone’s assistance or at least the use of the cane lying next to her. Nona’s gaze was on Teddy. Suzette, like another, differently colored beetle, was awkwardly pushing herself up from her wicker chair. Her face was grim as she lumbered toward Teddy.
“Teddy.” Somehow Worth managed to get between his two sons. He clamped a hand on his younger son’s shoulder, but instead of drawing Teddy away as Helen thought he would, he said, “Grace? Where’s your camera? I want a picture taken of me with my sons. With both my sons.”
Oh, thank you, Worth, Helen thought, grateful that he was trying to ease them all out of an unpleasant situation.
&nb
sp; Grace practically ran through the gathering, holding her digital camera up, giddily giving directions, “Stand closer together, Teddy, Oliver. That’s right. Now Worth. Smile, everyone. Come on, a nice big smile.”
But Teddy wasn’t smiling. His drunken jubilation had morphed into depression. Helen had seen this transition before, too. She hoped they could maneuver him into the house and away from the party before he started one of his self-pitying rants.
“Great!” Grace cried. “I have several wonderful shots.”
“Thanks,” Worth said to his sister. He had not taken his hand off Teddy’s shoulder, and now he moved him away from Oliver and toward the house. Suzette approached Teddy and said something Helen couldn’t hear.
“Oh, come on,” Teddy roared back. “I’ve gotten started, at least let me finish, let me have one good intoxicating event. If I’m going to be sick with guilt tomorrow, I might as well do it right.”
Kellogg appeared at Teddy’s other side. He exchanged a glance with Worth, and the two older men gripped Teddy’s arms and half carried him through the garden and into the house. Suzette followed. Helen followed the others. She heard Oliver say to the crowd, “This seems like a good time to move the party over to Surfside. You all know the address, right?”
Teddy heard, too. “I want to go to the party!” He wrestled away from his father and uncle. “Hey, no fair, I want to go to the party.” He sounded like a child.
Worth and Kellogg escorted Teddy to one of the sofas in front of the fireplace. “Come on, Teddy, sit down here a minute. You can go to the party, but there’s no hurry. It’s going to be awhile before the others have unblocked the drive with their cars.” Worth kept his voice moderate, friendly.
Glorious, who had seen Teddy’s fits of drunkenness before, appeared from the kitchen holding a cup of coffee.
“Thanks, Glorious,” Worth said. “Teddy, sit down. Drink this.”
“Oh, there you go, such a Puritan. Why are you making such a big deal of this? I don’t need any coffee, I’m celebrating the golden boy; you should be celebrating him, too. Well, you are celebrating him—or you were, weren’t you?—until I messed things up for you.” Teddy suddenly sat down, hard, on the sofa. “Did I ruin Oliver’s party? That is so pathetic. My God, I’m a hopeless fool.”
Summer Beach Reads Page 107
