Cade nodded. “Jesus, I’m breaking every fucking rule in the book by telling you this but… I can’t hurt her, John. And if we have a snowball’s chance in hell of making this work, you need to get over your anger toward me.”
Draven practically fell onto the ground across from Cade, staring at him as if he were a ghost. “Then what went down five years ago?”
“Tom’s club was into gun running, and they used the harbor to deliver them up and down the west coast,” Cade began then he looked at her.
Dove knew she must have a baffled look on her face because he stopped and backtracked.
“John’s cousin, Tom, was in a motorcycle club in Seattle, a sister club to the Red Wolves. Five years ago, the ATF began to build a case against them. FBI was called in when Tom Draven came forward as an informant.”
“He became a snitch?” Draven asked hesitantly.
“His girlfriend had a baby,” Cade told him. “He wanted the child away from all the illegal, dangerous dealings of the club. He got approval for WITSEC if and when the arms deal with the Chinese came through. And the night you showed up, the night you agreed to help, was the night Tom Draven ceased to be. I was picked as the agent to carry out the assignment.”
“You pretended to shoot him,” Dove said.
Cade nodded and took a deep breath. “Tom was wearing a protective vest. I shot him in the chest, he fell into the burning building and Tom’s body was burned—or that’s how you were supposed to see it. What you didn’t see was Tom being led away by agents on the ground. He and his family got a new identity.”
“Can I see him?” Draven asked softly.
Cade shook his head. “You’d be endangering him and his family. Listen, I know I can’t prove this, but it’s the truth. And I just committed one helluva no-no that could end my career in a heartbeat.”
Draven sat there for a long time, simply shaking his head as he tried to wrap his brain around what Cade had just told him. Truthfully, he didn’t know what to think or where to turn. For so long, he’d built up this wall of hatred that had kept him going. To have it gone, to have it disappear in a flash, left him feeling shaky and empty. What was he supposed to think now?
“I… I have to go,” he muttered and pushed shakily to his feet. He headed for his bike.
“John,” Dove called out.
“Don’t,” Cade told Dove. “Let him go.”
He got on his bike and roared off, not even having a direction to head. But that was the great thing about Wyoming—it had lots of places to drive and contemplate everything he’d just learned. Holy shit, what was he supposed to think now? For five years, he’d had this truth and now, suddenly, that carpet has been yanked from under his feet, leaving him wobbly and disoriented—and mad. In fact, he was so mad it probably wouldn’t be safe to drive, so he headed for the one place that had always soothed him. He needed time to process everything, to get used to the idea that Cade wasn’t the asshole who had killed Tom and, most importantly, that Tom was living his life somewhere with a new name and new family.
Christ, that stings.
Damn Tom. And damn Cade. Everything had changed.
Chapter Nineteen
It wasn’t too hard to find Draven. Cade had asked Givon and was told about a fishing pond in the forest that he sometimes went to, so Cade took a chance and headed there. As soon as he pulled into the clearing, Cade saw Draven’s bike, then he saw Draven about a hundred yards away, a mere blip against the sun.
Cade walked toward him, trying to compose his thoughts and what he could possibly say. But he kept wondering what he could say to alleviate the years of pain and loss, thinking his cousin had been murdered. God, he’d broken every rule out there and if his superiors ever found out, he’d be fired on the spot. Might even be arrested. Shit. He’d fucked up everything. He should never have coerced John Draven into helping him.
Draven stood at the water’s edge, skipping rocks over the pond. Ripples fanned out, making the dragonflies skimming over the surface dance toward the small waves. Cade could see Draven’s shoulders were tense, as if he were waiting for a fight. So be it. Lord knew Cade deserved what he’d already gotten and more.
Draven had been right. He’d never paid for what he’d done and though he didn’t really kill Tom, John Draven had been suffering for five years. Maybe that’s what he needed to be punished for—the family left behind.
“John,” he said quietly.
Draven didn’t say anything.
“Come on, John, I’m wrestling big time with my conscience here,” Cade continued. “Should I have not said anything? I tried just walking away and I discovered that I couldn’t be the bigger man. I haven’t known Dove for very long, but there’s something there that keeps pulling me back and I just can’t let go. But I’m sorry that I hurt you—”
“Hurt me?” Draven snapped as he turned around. The white parts of his eyes were bloodshot and fresh tear tracks lingered on his cheeks. “For five years, I let hate fester in my heart. Hate for you. And, Goddamn it, hate for Tom. When I saw him die like that, I thought how stupid. What a stupid fucking way to die, over guns. I told North we had to go legit, we had to turn the Red Wolves around. I mean, we weren’t running guns, but we were extorting money from the community around us. We created even more tension with the Demon Devils just so the small businesses would pay us for help. We were no better than Tom and his fucking guns.”
He dropped his handful of stones and marched determinedly toward him, stopping only a couple of feet away. He ran both hands through his already messy hair.
“I didn’t want Bryman Jay’s money,” he said, shaking his head. “North and I voted against it. But there was all this debt, and Nick had just had a heart attack, so I let myself go with it. I was a failure there, to Tom’s memory, to my vow never to end up like him. And you tell me that he got out? He’s alive? What am I supposed to do, Cade, with this hate? Please,” he whispered then sank to his knees as he looked up at Cade. “Tell me what to do.”
Cade swallowed thickly against the guilt that slammed through him. Seeing Draven, this big, strong man, reduced to begging, made his heart hurt. He dropped to his own knees and gripped Draven’s arms.
“You can’t hate him for wanting out of that lifestyle,” he said softly.
“I don’t,” Draven said quickly. “But… I feel…betrayed. It’s stupid and selfish, but how did he just turn his back on everything? I couldn’t do that, Cade. The club is who I am. It’s what I am and Tom was the same.”
“No, he wasn’t,” Cade said. “Remember, I met him. He’d lost the biker mentality a long time before he made the decision to turn state’s evidence. You have always known the path the Wolves need to take, so don’t second guess what you know is right. You are still the same man from yesterday, with the same convictions. Don’t hate Tom because he chose a way out, just remember what he taught you.”
Draven stared at him for a long moment, and Cade could practically see the thoughts racing through his head. Then Draven’s hands came up to cover his.
“I was wrong about you,” he finally said in a deep, guttural voice. “You took my blame and my hate and didn’t say a word. Didn’t fight back. I… I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. I don’t want you to be sorry.”
“And you came once more to save my club,” Draven whispered.
Cade gave a small, weary smile. “Perhaps I had to deal with my own guilt, to make amends.”
“You truly are my brother. I’d be honored if you let me bring you into the Wolves.”
“It’s a great club, John,” Cade said. “But I have a job that the Wolves aren’t going to like and it forces me to travel all over the country. Which is the reason why I came back to tell Dove not to wait for me, to live her life with you.”
Draven frowned. “Wait. You’re leaving?”
Cade nodded. “Eventually. There’re some issues I need to wrap up regarding Gray Dog, but then, yes, I’m leaving.”
“Issues?”
Cade paused for a moment then gave a self-deprecating, humorless laugh. “I have no clue as to why I’m hesitating in telling you something confidential when I just dropped the mother lode of bombs. I think Gray Dog was murdered to shut him up. I came back to find proof.”
“More proof, eh?”
“Yeah, well, this time I don’t need to go incognito. I think Gunner Smith killed him either to shut him up or to take over the business somewhere else. I have to find him.”
“All right,” Draven agreed. “Count me in.”
“You don’t have to do that—”
“Yes, I do. And…” Draven faltered. He dropped his hands and rose. Cade did the same, frowning as he waited for Draven to finish. “If Dove decides not to let you go, then I want you to know you’ll always have a home with us, no matter when or under what circumstances.”
Cade reeled from that statement. That was not what he’d expected to hear, so he cocked his head and looked at Draven steadily. “What are you suggesting?”
“I think you know what I’m suggesting.”
Cade shook his head. “No, no misunderstandings. Spell it out.”
“I’ve seen poly relationships work,” Draven said. “North, Givon and Allis. Braden, Leo and Merrie. You say you can’t stay, but you can’t be a fed forever. And I’d be willing to share her, to bury my jealousy, because she wants you.”
Cade didn’t know what to say, in fact, this was not going at all as he’d planned. He’d thought for sure that Draven would be over the moon knowing he’d be gone, with one boot planted firmly on his ass as he kicked him down the road. This was very unexpected.
“John, that’s unexpectedly noble of you, but those other relationships were based off years of mutual trust and friendship. Until a little while ago, you hated my guts. I don’t think you’re up to seeing my junk every night when we go to bed.”
“I’m not fucking you,” Draven muttered.
“Ditto,” Cade shot back. “But ménage sex involves involuntary touching of parts, if you know what I mean.”
Draven chuckled. “Yeah, North’s mentioned that a couple of times. Listen, come back to the house. We’ll talk to Dove, see how she feels, and we’ll take it from there.”
Cade smiled because that’s what he was supposed to do. Smile and think everything was going to turn out fine, but he knew the truth. It tore his gut up. He knew he was on his way to falling in love with Dove. She had that special quality that drew him to her, no matter her age, and damned if he didn’t find it, and her, sexy. So it was best that he nipped it in the bud now before he went and fell for her any more than he already had.
They drove back to Draven’s house, and Cade enjoyed the feel of the comradeship that now existed between them, instead of the animosity that Draven had worn around his neck like a tie. Even though he’d broken the rules, Cade was glad that Draven knew the truth.
When they arrived in front of the house, Dove hurried out, a worried frown on her face. Cade hated seeing her look so sad and unsure, so he got off his bike, took off his helmet and ran up the steps to sweep her up into his arms. He buried his face in her neck and breathed in her unique scent of outdoors and lemons.
“Cade?” she asked hesitantly. “Are you and Draven all right?”
“Yeah, sweetheart. Things are fine between us now. Don’t worry, okay?”
She nodded. Draven walked up to them, and she pulled back to smile at them both. Just him saying the words had eased the frown lines from between her eyes.
“I just made coffee,” she said. “Come in and we can talk.”
Cade opened the porch screen and let her in first and when he followed, he couldn’t believe the difference inside. Gone was the old, worn furniture. The hardwood floors had been redone. Faint paint fumes still lingered. Cade’s mouth dropped open as he looked around.
“What the hell? I’ve only been gone a week and a half,” he said.
Draven rubbed the back of his neck, looking sheepish. “Dove seems to have a very strong backbone when it comes to getting what she wants. She’s a fierce negotiator.”
Cade shot her a surprised glance. “You did all this?”
“Well, my father let me a life insurance policy that I wanted to use on the house since it’s my house too. I have men coming next week to fix the outside areas. John said he’d do the work, but honestly, I wanted it done now, not years from now.”
She grinned cheekily at Draven to take the sting out of the words. The kitchen still looked the same, but it was clean. While Cade and Draven sat at the table, Dove filled three mugs and carried theirs first before fixing hers with milk and sugar. When she had it just right, she joined them.
“I’ve made your bed,” Dove said as she sat, smiling at Cade.
He didn’t say anything, only took a sip of coffee. When he glanced up at her and saw her hopeful happiness shining so brightly, it made him wince. This wasn’t going to be easy, and he wasn’t looking forward to seeing her sad again.
“Listen, Dove,” he began.
“Cade’s going to have to track Gunner down,” Draven interrupted.
Cade frowned at him.
“He’s going to be in and out of here for a while. But don’t think he’s leaving for good.”
“Okay,” she said.
What is he doing? Cade wanted to correct Draven, but one look at Dove’s happy face and his courage faltered. She was so beautiful, and he had that excitement in his belly that always flared. It was going to be tough walking away from her.
* * * *
That night, Dove decided to prepare steaks. It was a bit of a celebration since the tension between the two men had disappeared. Draven did the honors of grilling the marinated rib eyes while she prepared corn on the cob, baked potatoes and salads. She kept a close eye on both men as they stood around the grill, talking. She wanted to make sure that they didn’t start arguing again. Nothing had been scarier to her than seeing Draven and Cade ready to tear each other to shreds, and that included being abandoned in a pitch-black cell. That Dove was a million miles away from who she was now, and there wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for her family, which included the whole motorcycle club.
“Where’ve you been working?” she asked Cade as they sat at the table and began passing the food around.
“There’s a satellite office in Casper,” Cade told her. “My direct supervisor, Freddie Mentone, has been with me sorting all the paperwork we collected from Gray Dog’s office and home.”
“Have you found the other women?”
He shook his head. “Not yet. We’ve discovered references to them, but he wasn’t the most efficient record keeper.”
“And what about Gunner Smith?” she asked quietly.
“We’ll find him,” Cade assured her.
After supper, the men helped her clean up the kitchen. She made coffee again and they settled on the couch. Dove took a moment to study them since her dream was finally coming true. Her men were friends. She could have everything she wanted and she wanted them. She wasn’t going to waste another moment when their hang-ups could come into play at any given moment.
She set her untouched cup of coffee on the table then proceeded to do the same to Draven’s and Cade’s cups. They looked at her with bemused expressions.
“I’ve waited a long time for this,” she said.
“Long time?” Draven asked.
She nodded and took a deep breath. Her heart pounded with excitement as expectation seized her stomach. “I want you. I want to belong to both of you. I know it can work.”
“Are you sure you’re not confusing gratitude with desire?” Cade asked.
“I am grateful for North letting us stay at the clubhouse,” Dove replied. “But I don’t want to have sex with him. I did have a lot of gratitude at first, but not now. Now… I dream of both of you. I yearn for both of you.”
Cade reached out and grabbed her wrist. He tugged her over to him. His brown eyes
were almost black with lust as he draped her thigh over his lap and settled her snuggly onto him. His cock was an impressive steel rod rooted against the very spot she craved him to fill. He cupped the back of her neck, holding her still as he stared her in the eye.
“Do you know what it means to belong to two men?” he asked her, his tone so full of sexual promise that her nipples instantly hardened into aching pebbles.
She nodded.
He smiled wickedly and leaned forward so he could whisper in her ear. His breath teased the fine hairs around her nape. “Draven and I need to train your body to take us both at the same time, so for now, you’ll have to let us each love you. Okay?”
Again, she nodded, her mouth was so dry she couldn’t talk. Then Cade claimed her lips, and she lost any hesitation or need to be treated with kid gloves. He kissed her with want and passion, using his tongue to force her lips open so he could slide into her mouth. His possession burned through her body, setting her on fire and instantly soaking her panties.
She felt Draven’s hot body against her back as he joined them, and she knew without a doubt, this was what she wanted, to be sandwiched between the two men who made her body burn with desire and her heart swell with love. He moved her hair aside and kissed her neck while he reached around to cup her breasts. He rubbed them through her shirt. She moaned, almost overwhelmed by the thought of finally having what she wanted.
Cade broke the kiss, but he didn’t break the connection with her. He brushed the pad of his thumb along her lower lip, so she parted them enough to suck the finger into her mouth.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he said in a husky, amused voice. “I can give you something proper to suck on.”
Her eyes went wide and she nodded enthusiastically, causing him to chuckle.
“Why don’t we take this to the bedroom?” Draven suggested.
He rose, and Dove immediately missed feeling him behind her. He helped her get off Cade’s lap then he lifted her into his big arms. She automatically wrapped her legs around his waist as he walked toward his bedroom with the biggest bed.
When Dove Cries Page 14
