by Amy Lillard
He eased a hand between them. This time his touch was gentle, meant to bring her pleasure. She made a mewing noise as he found that sweet spot, brushed it with the pad of his thumb.
But even as he wanted to take it slow, Jessie was having none of it. She rocked against him, pushing him too close too soon.
“Jessie,” he groaned.
“Love me, Seth.” She pushed to her knees once more, then lowered herself, sheathing him completely.
She gasped, her muscles tightening around him as she found her release, the motion pulling him over the edge of ecstasy.
* * *
It was over almost as quickly as it had begun, and though she had found pleasure in Seth’s embrace, she felt strangely unsatisfied.
He set her from him and got out of the truck, only putting his clothes back to rights once the door was between them. He crammed his hat onto his head, effectively hiding his expression from her searching gaze.
What did a person say in a situation like this? Her mother had died when Jessie was too young for such advice, and her grandmother had never been any help in that department. Jessie had been sort of an outcast in school, always on the fringes of the cliques and unable to fit in even with the misfits. She had no girlfriends to pass on pithy remarks or classy “pillow talk” as they called it. So she just watched as Seth lifted the hood. She had seen him walk around to the bed of the truck and retrieve a rag and a recycled milk jug full of water. At least now the smoke had dwindled down to a small curl.
Any moment now he could slam down the hood. The truck would start, and she still hadn’t thought of anything to say.
Given the look on his face, “I’m sorry” seemed the most appropriate, but she wasn’t sorry. Not in the least.
In fact, she was glad that he had been her first. She was thankful to have shared something so intimate with him, though she had never dreamed it could happen. When she had pressed her lips to his, suddenly waiting until she was married hadn’t seemed so important any longer. And neither had Chase.
Good Lord, what would she tell Chase?
Her heart pounded at the thought. Then she took a deep breath. She wouldn’t tell Chase anything. He didn’t need to know. Everyone in town might believe that one day they would get married, but she knew the score. As much as she loved him, he didn’t love her enough to give up his tomcat ways. And by the time he grew up enough to see he needed to change, she would be long gone.
Seth slammed down the hood, his hat still pulled low over his brow. Jessie scooted over to his side of the truck, laying one arm in the open window as he approached.
“Why do I get the feeling you’re mad at me?”
“Why am I—” He scoffed and with a shake of his head, braced his hands on his hips.
“Did I do something wrong?” She had thought it had been good, that Seth had, well, liked it. But she didn’t know for sure. How did a person tell those sorts of things?
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Jess. Now scoot over.”
She retreated to her side of the truck as Seth climbed into the cab. But he didn’t say a word the rest of the way back to town.
He was thinking. She had known him long enough to realize that. But that angry look still hovered around his eyes.
He pulled into her driveway without a word. Jessie slid from the cab and slammed the door behind her before racing up the steps and into the house.
* * *
Seth nearly crumpled with relief as he let himself into his garage apartment.
Sadie met him at the door, her silky stump of a tail wagging like crazy. He scooped her up into his arms and received a rain of doggy kisses for his trouble.
From the kitchen came the meows of the kittens that Chase had dropped off just a few days before. Seth had been too busy to find them homes yet, but if nothing else, he would run them out to the ranch tomorrow. Jake could always use a few more mousers in the barns.
He planted a quick kiss on the top of the Yorkie’s head, then set her back on the floor. “Give me just a minute, girl, and I’ll get us both something to eat.” All of us, he silently amended as the mews intensified. Yep, tomorrow he was taking the kittens to the Diamond.
Sadie trotted along behind him as he made his way toward his bedroom door. There weren’t many dividers in the apartment. Just the walls that blocked off the kitchen from the living room, the living room from the bedroom, and the tiny bathroom from everything else.
He made his way to the shower, stripping down as he went. He needed to clean himself up, but he was loath to wash the scent of her from his clothes. To say that he had handled the situation badly was an understatement. He hadn’t even said anything to her on the way home.
But what was there to say? Nothing at all. More than he could voice.
He stepped beneath the cool spray and let the water run over him as it warmed. He needed time, time to think, time to get a handle on everything. His anger, his confusion, and the many questions he wanted to ask her but was afraid of the answers.
It had been her first time.
How could that be?
He had been so caught up in the thoughts that his brother had been there first, and yet he still wanted her more than his next breath. Then to find out that she had never been with Chase.
He scrubbed his hands over his face and did his best to wash away the hurt and longing.
Just because she didn’t belong to Chase didn’t mean that she was Seth’s. He had taken something precious from her. A girl didn’t “accidentally” stay a virgin until twenty-five in this day and age. And Seth had snatched it away with the snap of his fingers.
He turned off the water and stepped from the shower, wrapping a towel around his middle even as his hair dripped down his back.
Tomorrow, he promised as he made his way to the kitchen, a second towel slung across his shoulder. Tonight he would get his thoughts in order, give Jessie time to let everything sink in, and tomorrow he would head over to her house and they would talk this out, face-to-face.
He dumped the contents of the can of cat food onto a saucer as the baby felines braced their paws on his bare legs. Their claws were like needles as he gently shook them loose in order to put their food on the plastic place mat next to the fridge. Tomorrow, he promised. Right after he took the cats out to the Diamond.
* * *
By Monday at lunch, Jessie knew Seth had to be avoiding her. And she’d be damned before she would go to him. A girl had to have her pride.
But having off all day Sunday and waiting for him to call or come by had been nothing short of hell.
“Jessie.”
She knew he was there the second before he spoke. She whirled around, a rolled bundle of silverware in her hand. “Hi, Seth.” Talk about awkward. But she didn’t want it to be. Why did it have to be?
“Can we talk?”
It was two o’clock and the Chuck Wagon had definitely slowed down from the lunch crowd. Only a couple of diners still hung around, finishing up the last of their meals.
“Please?” he asked. “I wanted to come by yesterday, but Amos and Chester were at it again and . . .”
She wanted to tell him no, make him sweat it a bit, but Sheridan came out of the back and ruined any ready excuse she had about not being able to leave the restaurant.
“Hey, Sheriff.”
“Sheridan, do you mind if Jessie takes a break? I need to talk to her a minute.”
“Sure thing.” Her dark brown gaze fell on first one of them and then the other as if somehow she could tell that things had changed between them. But had they?
“I really shouldn’t leave,” Jessie started. She didn’t want to have this conversation. Why couldn’t things go back to the way they were before she had kissed Seth?
“Too bad.” He wrapped his fingers around her upper arm and steered her from the Chuck Wago
n. Once on the street, he looked one way, then the other, as if unsure as to where they should go. In the end, he led her into the small alley between the restaurant and the dry cleaner next door.
Once they were alone, she pulled away from his grasp and crossed her arms. “What’s this about, Seth?”
He stared blankly at her. “You know damn well what this is about.”
She lifted her chin and met his gaze. His eyes were darker than Chase’s, more like the pastures that surrounded the ranch just after a spring rain. So much alike and yet so different. In Seth’s eyes she could see some of the life that he had lived. Eight years away from his home and family. She steeled her heart and her resolve. “And?”
He looked from side to side as if making sure that they were well and truly alone. “Saturday . . .” He shook his head. “I didn’t use any protection and—”
“Don’t worry about it.”
His questioning gaze swung back to her. “Does that mean you are on the pill?”
Was that what this was all about?
What did you think, dummy? That he was going to declare his undying love for you?
“It’s all taken care of,” she muttered.
“What?”
“Don’t worry about it,” she said, lifting her chin from its resting place on her chest. “It’s all taken care of.”
He mulled over her words for a minute, then gave a quick nod. “Listen, Jess, I’m—”
She punched him on the arm. “I swear, Seth Langston, so help me God, if you say you’re sorry . . .” She didn’t have the words to continue, but “sorry” was the one thing she couldn’t bear to hear.
Without finishing, she pushed past him and back down the alley. She listened for his footsteps to sound behind her, but all was quiet except the purr of an engine as a truck rolled past.
All she could think about was how Seth made her feel. He made her . . . burn. Chase had never done that. All these years she had saved herself. Saved herself for the man she would one day marry. But once she’d had Seth’s lips on hers, that whole “saving herself for marriage” thing didn’t seem quite so important any longer. All she could think about was more. More kissing, more touching . . . more.
But that was something she would never have. Not if he was sorry.
Without looking behind her, Jessie opened the door to the Chuck Wagon and ducked inside.
Chapter Seven
Somehow Jessie managed to avoid Seth for the rest of the week. Everywhere she went, people were still whispering about her. It was ridiculous to think that they knew what had happened between her and Seth, but it felt as if they did, all the same.
She went to the store to pick up a few things to cook for supper at home, and the cashier stared at her as if she could read all Jessie’s secrets. The trip to the drugstore to pick up Meemaw’s medication rendered the same results. She needed out of this town, if only for the day, but that wasn’t happening.
Thursday came with no break in sight. It was opening day at Cattle Days, and Chuck had scheduled her to work in the food tent. She didn’t mind, not really. She needed the money to make up for all that she had spent on Chase’s truck.
Still, cooking hamburgers over an open flame in late June in Texas was not a pleasant place to be. She wiped her forehead on the wet towel she had hanging around her neck. It had been nice and cool when she placed it there, but after the first hour the thing was letting off steam.
“Jessie?”
She whirled around at the sound of her name. “Seth,” she breathed, pressing one hand to her heart. “What are you doing here?”
He smiled and glanced around the small blue tent. “I believe it’s a law that everyone in Page County has to attend Cattle Days.”
Despite the nearly one hundred degree temperatures and the fact that she had been cooking hamburgers for nearly six hours straight, she felt the heat rise from her neck to the roots of her hair.
She had managed the entire week without seeing Seth. Now to run into him when she was dripping with sweat and smelling like grease was more than she wanted to contemplate.
Not that she cared. She wasn’t out here to impress Seth. And even if she wanted to, it wasn’t like she was hanging around Cattle Creek for long. As soon as she had the money, she was gone. Maybe even as early as next year . . .
But she hated that she looked like a chambermaid while he looked like the quintessential Texas man. Faded jeans, well worn and hip hugging; cowboy boots, broken in and a bit dusty from the lack of rain; burnt orange Texas Longhorns shirt, stretched out at the neck and around the tail, but still a fine shirt; and straw cowboy hat, molded to fit the man underneath.
Not that she had been looking or anything.
“Where’s Millie?” she asked. “Didn’t you bring her here?”
He studied her for a moment. “Why? Are you jealous?
Jessie scoffed. “Of course not.”
He gave her another hard look as if he were trying to see past all her defenses. And that was something she couldn’t have.
She turned back to her grill as Seth finally answered, “She and Layla went home with Mr. Evans.”
“Sounds like you were a great date.” She hated the sharp tone of her words. If he noticed it too, she didn’t know. She mopped her face again and flipped a couple more of the burgers.
“It wasn’t a date.”
Jessie might have been stuck in the food tent most of the day, but she knew a date when she saw one. Seth and Millie had walked by with sweet little Layla at least five times that she had noticed. Once Seth had even swung the little girl into his arms the way a good father would do. From her place in the tent it looked like more than a date. It looked like a perfect little family.
But what did she care? She was leaving soon, and she would do well to remember that.
“Uh-huh.”
Seth just shook his head. “Are you almost done here?”
“I can’t leave until Debbie Ann comes in. That’s when my shift is over.” And since Manny never called to offer her job back, then her evening was free—but she wasn’t going to tell him that. “Why?”
“I thought I might buy you a pronto pup. Maybe we can talk.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” she said, her heart pumping heavily in her chest.
“I think there might be.”
She braced her hands on her hips and shot him the hardest stink eye she could muster. “I disagree.”
“Fine, then you can eat and I’ll talk.”
“It may be a while. You know how Debbie Ann is.” And with any luck Debbie Ann would be her late-as-usual self.
He nodded.
“Maybe we should postpone this until later.” Coward.
“I’ve got time.” He crossed his arms in front of that broad chest. Jessie ignored the way his biceps bulged with the motion. Well, she tried to ignore it, but she could still feel the warmth of his skin and the firmness of his muscles beneath her fingers. The memory was intoxicating. She needed to keep as far away from Seth Langston as she could, regardless that every atom in her body wanted to run to him.
She opened her mouth to protest, but Debbie Ann came rushing in. Today she was only ten minutes late instead of fifteen, so Jessie considered that an improvement. Jessie hadn’t come into work late a day in her life, but since Debbie Ann was Chuck’s niece, there was nothing anyone but him could say on the matter.
“Sorry, Jessie,” Debbie Ann gushed. “Let me get an apron and you can get out of here.”
Five minutes later, Jessie was out of excuses as to why she couldn’t grab a quick bite with Seth.
But that didn’t mean she was done trying. “I—” she started.
He shook his head. “This is a pronto pup we’re talking about. You won’t have another chance for one until fall. Are you really going to pass this up?”
“Fine.” She relented and allowed him to walk her over to the football boosters’ food truck.
“You sure you don’t want any fries to go with that?” Seth nodded toward the golden brown corn dog she held in one hand.
All the stands had their own strengths, and while Chuck’s had the best hamburgers, no one could beat the football team’s pronto pups.
“This is enough.” She had done nothing but cook all day. She wasn’t even all that hungry.
They took their food over to one of the picnic tables set up in the empty lot at the corner of Main and Tenth. The spot had been a car lot once upon a time, but the business had moved out closer to the highway, leaving the lot empty for years.
Jessie took a bite of her corn dog, licking the excess mustard from the corner of her mouth. Working behind the grill all day and smelling the burgers as they cooked had curbed her appetite. But now that she was away from all that, she discovered that she was starving. Maybe she should have gotten those fries after all.
“What did you want to talk about?” she asked between bites. Best get this over with as soon as possible, even if she wanted to just sit and enjoy her food.
“I think we should date.”
“Are you kidding?” She swung her gaze back to his, but his green eyes were serious and steady. “I can’t date you.”
“If this is about Chase, I’ll talk to him. We’ll figure something out.”
Jessie shook her head. “This has nothing to do with Chase.” And it didn’t. She would talk to Chase when the time came. Or maybe not. With the rate at which he came home when the circuit was in full swing, she might not see him again until after the finals in November. And by then she hoped she could forget all about her and Seth and what had happened in the cab of his truck on one hot summer day.
“Then let’s go out.”
“No.” Dating Seth Langston was something she could not do. He was too honorable, too noble to want to date her for any other reason. The last thing she wanted to be was his charity case.
God, she had made such a fool of herself over Chase. She would not do the same thing with Seth.
