by KC Frantzen
Knock knock knock.
I’m still sore but ready, though I don’t know exactly what for. By the sound of it, Monster is racing his mother. The TV clicks off (wonderful) and the door squeaks open.
Now she’s shouting. “DON’T open the door to strangers. I’ve told you a thousand and one times!”
And his pouty voice. “They’re coming to see ME, Mama. MOVE! Do you have chocolate? I WANT CHOCOLATE!! Rabba brings me chocolate!”
Woman yells, “STOP IT!” then “Come in.”
The sudden silence is awkward, even from where I am. I barely hear Woman’s lowered voice. “His father’s gone, working overseas months at a time…he says…We met on the ‘Net ya know – he don’t give me no help with the boy – he’s a handful – but you’ve come to see the show dog – right?”
I don’t understand. Why does she want them to see me?
A man’s calm voice says, “We won’t stay long, we don’t want to be any trouble.”
I like that voice! You can tell a lot about a person from his voice and how he uses it.
Oh. As expected. Monster’s pounding the sofa, bawling like a baby. Adult footsteps approach. The two new sets must belong to some humans who sniff sniff smell fresh and clean and…nice. Could be a trap. Better melt into the shadows.
“She’s in here,” says Woman nervously. “And shut the door. She’ll get out.”
I strain for a glimpse in the stove’s reflection. I can see the back of a man and just past his shoulder, there’s a lady’s face, losing its struggle to be pleasant. Even her nose is crinkled. Must be the odors. Her eyes open wider as she surveys the mess, then they stop at my crate.
Yep. Crumbs, stray socks, partially-empty soda cans, grape splatter under the table. I know. I live with it every day. Will you see me here, near the pile of pieces-of-dead-cows they put on their paws? I’m sorry it’s a mess. And gloomy.
The lady slightly nods to the man and he turns toward me too. Is that disbelief on their faces?
I scent Woman’s desperation when she notices them looking. Must be on my best behavior if I am to please her.
“Tell ya what. It’s a little crowded in there. I’ll bring her out in the kitchen.”
You’re letting me out?
“But be a little careful, sometimes she curls a lip.” Woman winces and inhales a tiny breath.
Sorry you said that, aren’t you? This may be my opportunity, if I can sprint through an open door. Big if. My heart starts pounding thump thump thump.
The man seems surprised. “Doubt we’ll have any difficulty, but thanks for the warning.”
Thinking of difficulty, it’s taking Woman a moment with the new wire, but she unwraps it, then her fingers unhitch the latch. Thump thump. She reaches in and hauls me out of the crate by the neck.
Woman, this hurts. Put me down!
My legs dangle, and my side still hurts, but better not defend myself – this could be it. I must escape through that door. Calm my breathing, listen, think – think – think.
Monster’s tantrum was ignored so predictably, it’s stopped. Ooh. He just opened the kitchen door a bit to peer in, but I’m the only one who saw. I think. His eyes say something’s up.
Monster did it again! Thump thump thump thump thump. Did I hear the front door close? Don’t remember. What’s beyond it? Don’t care. Must get down, and run!
Huh? Wait, I feel kind of…odd.
Wonder of wonders – this new lady human is staring at me. We’ve connected! She sits down, crossing her hind legs on the filthy floor. And the man sits near her. Are you my rescue, an answer to my prayers?
Woman bends to put my paws on the tile. The swinging door barely opens. Sniff sniff. It’s Monster, scowling.
“RUN!” screams my brain, sending my nails click – click – clicking on the slippery floor. I moan, “Can’t…get…traction.”
Once I make my feet twist the same direction, I’m off like a slingshot, watching Monster disappear. Too late. “Where next?” I yap. I scramble under the table – balance in the sticky goo – leap in the lady’s lap and out again, quick as a rabbit – tear towards the man, turn, nip his chin – “OW!” – gone before he can grab me – slide to the mat by the back door, stop and yap “Gotta go, gotta GO!”
Woman starts to holler but doesn’t when the man puts a finger to his lips and makes a shhh sound. He smiles to me, here motionless on the mat, and says, “It’s okay.”
I like you. Ooooh, I’m sorry for nipping your chin. It was just a little nip. I’m hopeful you won’t be too mad. What to do? Hang with him or dash through the door? Panic, joy, relief. I want to crawl out of my own skin!
Now Woman’s coming for me, but I jump towards her – feint right – make another pass by the door (still closed) – spring into the nearest lap.
Uh oh! The new lady mashes me.
“You’re MINE!”
I’m squished, immobilized. And startled! This – isn’t – entirely – uncomfortable. I glance and see the man’s eyes saying, “You need help. We won’t leave you.”
The lady softly says, “I know,” and relaxes her grip.
I inhale deeply. Garlic, two or more dogs, cardboard, dust, plastic, the kind man, other scents. You smell like “home.”
Woman huffs, “Got her? The boy. He’s too quiet. I’m going to check on him. Stay here and don’t let her out.” Then she pushes open the door.
My heart stops. Lady, I don’t mean to be nasty, really I don’t. But the door – it’s OPEN! I faunch and fume, trying to scratch and bite.
“NO!” The lady shakes me. Once. “Be STILL!”
Uh, Okay…I won’t move another whisker.
The man takes her upper leg and helps her balance to stand. She makes it, despite clutching my collar with one paw, and lifting under my rear with her other. “Now that I have you, I’m not letting you go, Missy.”
Missy?
The gentle man leads us through the living room. As we step over toys and trash, I hear him tell Woman, “We’ll take her off your hands.”
“B-b-but she has papers.”
“We don’t need or want them,” he says firmly. “She needs a home. What is her name?”
“Uhhh, her show name is Princess.”
“Thank you. What do we owe you?”
Woman withers under the man’s fierce glare. She looks down. “No-nothing, I guess.”
The lady shifts. My rear rests on her hip, her paw supports my chest. I try not to wince. We keep walking towards the sunlight. Thump thump. Safe from my comfy vantage, I take a last look. Is this happening?
As Woman reaches for the door handle, Monster explodes, flinging himself onto the stained carpet. I watch him thrash all his legs.
Yow, your screeching hurts my ears. That is a great dying roach impression. Monster, you look so pitiful, I feel a little sorry.
“Wolf-ee, Wolf-ee, I want my Wolf-eeeeeeeeee.”
Really! I didn’t know you cared! Now that I’m escaping, you don’t seem happy about it. (Oh, that’s not nice is it? I should try hard and be a wee bit charitable.) Perhaps I am your favorite toy for now. You’ll find something else.
My captor stops…and inhales.
I hold my breath too. You’re ready to blast me for something, but for what? I barely moved a whisker! I want to…to please you.
I dare a quick glance at her face. It’s turning pinker and pinker. Her eyes glint, body tenses, mouth opens as she stares at the eruption on the floor. She smells ANGRY.
The man says in a low voice, “Better pick our battles, Babe.” Her mouth closes with a little pop and we step through the open door, into the sunlight.
I’m out! Thank you!
We hear toys smacking windows behind us, and Woman screaming, “Shut up. SHUT UUUP!”
But the door doesn’t close.
Will she come after me?
The three of us charge to a big red metal box, with windows, and climb in. I don’t know why. But we’re here together. One thin
g’s for certain, there are many stories. Sniff sniff. Could this be another Schnauzer? And I spy some stray blonde fur, Labrador I think. Both scents were on the humans too. Fascinating.
WHAM! The door to the house slams shut. Good.
The man sits quietly, behind some sort of wheel, with the lady next to him. I’m trying to sit still on her hind legs. It’s comfy, but I detect tension in the air. I steal a look at the man staring through the big glass window, towards the house. Then he looks at me.
“When we saw you, we knew we couldn’t leave you, little girl. No wonder Nancy asked us to come.”
You have a tender tone. But this lady sure is quiet, her scent angry.
He turns to the lady. “Remember the anxiety in her voice, Babe? To think we almost said no.”
Please tell me what I did wrong, Lady! I wish you would speak.
He continues. “We’ve much to accomplish by Friday, haven’t we? But we’ll figure it out. Alright, let’s get this truck on the road.”
Red metal box means “truck.” Got it. (At least I figured something out.)
He reaches in his pocket and rattles some metal, then puts one piece into a little hole and twists. I hear and feel the “truck” rumble.
He pulls on a stick and we move backwards. Amazing! He pulls it again and we go forward. Wonder of wonders!
Young humans playing across the way ignore us as we leave, like moving in a truck is normal. But I’m still puzzled. On the one paw, I’ve escaped. On the other, now what?
The lady’s shallow breaths are coming fast. I scent you’re still mad. I know not to bite, but I’ve had to defend myself. All the Creator gave me is tooth and claw and wit. What am I supposed to do, Lady, just take it?! I won’t! I won’t take it…But I am sorry for nipping him. At least he is nice.
I flinch as she gasps, then holds and holds her breath.
You better let it out. You’re going to burst! Oop – Here it comes!
“HON. I tell you…I knew if I started in on that kid, UGGHHH!! It wasn’t going to be pretty. Oh, my GOSH! There’s a criminal in the making. I doubt that poor child has ever heard the word ‘no’ in his life! Can you even–”
“Babe. You’re all in a tizz. Nothing we can do about the situation, is there?”
Her body deflates as she picks at the bare place on my leg.
“We’ve taken on something where we can make a difference, right? Our motives will not be misconstrued, right?”
I notice her eyes are glistening. “Yeee-sss. I know Hon, you’re right. And a warm puppy is Divine provision. Look at her nose! She’s been sniffing since we got in the truck.” She smiles at me and I smile back. As we lose sight of the hated house, the lady lets the air pass noisily between her lips.
Feel better? You let out your breath like I do sometimes, but you don’t have whiskers. Now, whose scents are these? Dogs definitely. Do they think it’s odd, moving in the truck?
She looks down and starts stroking my head. Ahhh. I’ll adjust so you can reach that itchy spot. Hmm. Sniff, sniff. What’s this – wood and a plant scent? Coming from that little container? T-i-s-s-u-e. Tissue. A-l-o-e V-e-r-a. Aloe Vera. Smells good. What’s it for? Gosh, all these new things!
We stop and I watch other moving boxes pass us by. In a moment, we start again and maneuver onto a big wide road. There are trucks like this one, and a few huge trucks, and smaller boxes, all whizzing past us. I try to watch but get dizzy trying to turn my head quickly enough to see each one. It’s better if I gaze in the distance at one thing.
After a few minutes the man says, “First things first. ‘Princess’ doesn’t suit you, does it?” He rubs his nipped chin, so I brace for a smack. Instead he…smiles?
My fear flees and I slowly wiggle my nub of a tail. You seem genuine.
He responds by petting my shoulder, then the lady pets me again too.
The man says, “Give me your arm.”
The lady moves her top left leg over and he gives it a little squeeze, then kisses her paw. Her face turns pink and she says, “So what’s a suitable name for our newest family member?”
Family member? But they ignore my look and tease and laugh. “Cricket,” “Lela,” “Skamp,” “Liebchen,” “Pickles.”
I can’t concentrate. My heart is thumping too loudly. Calm and laughs and kindness. I’m hopeful! Maybe this is what family is like.
The man pulls the stick but this time, there’s a clicking sound, in a rhythm, like my nails on the floor. “What ‘cha think, Babe? Swing by the pet store on the way home?”
“Good idea. This traffic’s a nightmare, even this early. Too many cars. I’ll be glad to be out of it soon.”
We turn into a place with many other trucks, and cars, and find a spot to stop. “Be back in a flash.” He leans over and gives her a smooch. “I’ll run get a bowl and collar and matching leash. Anything else?”
“Sounds fine. Please leave the keys, Hon.”
“Okay, ‘bye!”
After turning that metal piece – “the keys” she called it – the window goes down. The breeze feels good and warm. Sniff, sniff. And the stories! Even fish tales.
“Well little one. Let me see you.” I try not to flinch as she hangs on to me around the ribs, placing my hind legs on her own, then she turns me around. I keep shifting my weight back and forth.
This feels strange on two paws. What are you doing to me? Where’s the kindhearted man? I look over my shoulder, where I last saw him. Other people, two and four-footed, are going in and out of a door that’s all window, but I don’t see the man with the nice voice.
I slowly turn back and find myself eye to eye with her. I lean forward, careful not to be – what did he say? – misconstrued, and sniff her breath. She exhales softly and I take a good, long whiff.
Mmmm. Garlic and onions. Nice combo.
“You’re out of that craziness, bless your heart! Welcome little girl, to ours. Things are about to change, big time.”
What does that mean? We stand (and sit) a moment more. If you’ll let me, I’ll look out the window. I shift to indicate my preference, so she allows it.
Then something whispers to my soul. “Make a run for it. Take your chances.” Okay. Better go if I’m going to. I fling myself through the open window. Bye!
“HEY! Where are YOU going? No MA’AM!!” shouts the lady, snagging my hind paw and hauling me back in.
“RRAAAHHGGFFFHH.” I snap around, teeth flashing, mind whirling white hot.
“Think AGAIN,” she says. Firmly. “Think long and very, very hard.”
I brace. There is no strike, but her fierce look means business. Only one thing to do. Sit on her lap and rest my head out the window.
She keeps a hand on my foot all the same.
Hi! Hi! I recognized you right away! I wag my nub in greeting to the man.
The lady calls out, “Hey Hon, Princess…” His look stops her. “I mean, Whatever-Her-Name-Will-Be…already knows you!”
He smiles and opens his door, tossing a bag onto the place to sit in back. Before I can do a thing, the lady starts in.
“Previously-Known-As-Princess and I had a little incident, but all taken care of now.” She hits the highlights of the, uh, incident.
“But she didn’t bite or nip?”
“Nope. I think we understand each other. At present,” she says, looking deeply into my eyes. “Don’t we?”
I gaze out the window, quick as I can.
“We’ll see how it goes,” she says. “Okay! Fess up! Why are you grinning like that?”
“You’ll see!” says the man.
“Whaa-aat!” we both wonder.
“Let’s see how this looks.” He opens his hand to reveal a pretty teal dead-cow band.
For me? I love it. Thank you!
“Oh Hon! And a little heart to remind her she’s loved.”
He removes my grubby old collar, tossing it onto the back floor mat. Then he clicks the beautiful new one into place. “There. Perfect fit!”
As we travel, I try to move only my nose and eyes while I think. Finally, I make up my mind. I don’t want to mess up again.
Sensing the change I guess, the lady releases my foot. Good. I’ll curl up and rest my eyes…
Yawn. Where am I? I wake nestled in a warm lap and a lady is speaking.
“She was chasing something. Her paws kept twitching. Wonder what Hans and April will think?”
“Hans won’t have any trouble, but you know Apey.”
Yaaaawwwnn.
“Wow. Look at her underbite. It’s like the Wolfman’s! Here, let me straighten those wayward whiskers. There. You’re a little more presentable now.”
Lady, I like being petted and fussed over. I’ll just cuddle closer into your arm.
She cuddles too, like this is normal as can be, as she chatters away to the man.
He’s silent awhile (like he has a choice), then he smacks a paw on the wheel and I dodge the blow…that doesn’t happen.
“That’s it!”
The lady laughs. “What’s ‘it’?”
“It’s the month of May. Remember how April came to us April 1st and we couldn’t call her ‘Fool’, right? We’ll have Hans, April, and May!”
Is that who’s been in here, Hans and April?
“Oh please, Hon…But, you know? It kinda fits her.”
He grins broadly at me. “What do you think? Mayyyy we call you ‘May’?”
I stand and shake off the sleep while the truck rolls to a stop. Looks like we’ve arrived.
“May.” I kinda like it! Please, please let my life be better. And I’m already off to a good start with my new collar and my new name.
We climb out of the truck and pass through a big wooden gate where we’re approached by a blonde Labrador mix. She seems a little older, past her prime.
The kind man calls out, “Apey! How’s my favorite security guard? Did you keep the house and yard safe? I know you did!” He turns to the lady, who still holds me. “Such a good girl. She re-checks the yard every time we drive up.”
