“Where are we going?” Her whisper came moments after I let us decrease our speed.
I didn’t have time to cover the truth. “We need to get your bag and get out of here.” Regret pooled in my gut and I avoided looking directly at her. “As soon as we get that, I have a backup place we can hide in for the next couple days.”
She didn’t say anything as we continued rushing away from the cabin. I didn’t want to look at her and see the betrayal in her eyes. Hadn’t I avoided the truth for exactly that reason?
The only problem now was the fact that I’d started caring for her. Betraying her was more about betraying myself at this point.
How could I have any chances with her after the trial, if I burned that bridge before we even made it to court?
Chapter 13
Stephenie
I stared after Carter as I followed him down the trail. He moved in the dark like he’d been there before, many times. Not only did my stomach hurt with nerves for what was happening but also because I couldn’t figure out what exactly was going on.
A large gnarled tree with branches twisting this way and that protected a bend in the trail, reaching toward the clouds as if it implored the skies for rain in the night. My toe caught on a root protruding from the damp ground and I stumbled, reaching forward for something, anything to stop my fall.
My fingers clutched at air, but I didn’t fall. Carter turned, catching me before I fell to the ground. He stared down into my eyes, as if searching me for something he needed but couldn’t ask for. As he slowly lifted me back to an upright state, he shook his head. “I’m so sorry, Stephenie.”
His simple apology left me wondering what he could have done that he’d be sorry about? But deep down, I think I knew. He turned from me, walking toward the hefty root system of the tree that seemed to grow like weeds around the base of the trunk.
After moving around and grunting a bit, he stood, the shape of something like a bag in the silhouette of his hands.
Reaching into my pocket, I closed my chilled fingers around the tube of lipstick I’d found but hadn’t really inspected. I caught my breath, stepping forward, my eyes trained on the bag. I ignored his gaze that didn’t leave my face as I reached out, trailing my fingers down the wet leather strap of my bag.
“You’ve had it all this time?” I closed my fingers around the strap, ready to push him or kick him or anything to get him to let go of my bag. I didn’t need to physically claim it from him as he handed it over without a struggle.
He sighed and glanced past me. “Let’s talk about this when we’re safe. Come on, I know a place we can hide.” He reached behind me, placing his hand on the small of my back as if to lead me. I dropped my shoulder and side-stepped out from his touch. As far as I was concerned, he wouldn’t be touching me ever again.
The truth stormed through me as I fell into step behind him once more. I clutched the strap of my bag after I pulled it across my body, hooking it into place. I didn’t think the bag would have fallen off so easily before, but I’d believed him. I doubted myself and I shouldn’t have.
To make matters worse, I’d let Carter sway me from my goal of finding the bag. How had I been lulled into thinking everything would be okay? I’d let myself fall into the easy comfort of his cabin without the stresses of hiding from others, of watching my back. I’d thought for sure Carter had been there for me, not waiting with plans to hurt me.
As I walked behind him, my heart slowly broke. I’d grown to care about him, depend on him, and I’d even had the audacity to think of plans for after the trial with him.
I stopped as we reached a crest in the trail and I leaned my back against a pine tree, the bark scraping against the denim of the jacket I wore. My breath came fast and it had nothing to do with the hike Carter pushed me through.
He stopped, turning to watch me in the minimal lighting. “Stephenie, we can’t stop.” He climbed the couple feet back to me, studying the trail through the darkness behind us.
My lips tightened as I struggled to hold back my tears. It had been one thing when I’d found out my family was on the wrong side of the law all those years ago, when I’d started gathering information on all of the Italian families in Little Italy. I’d felt almost righteous as I’d expected something duplicitous like that from my father. He had cheated on my mother, after all. He’d torn her heart out.
But there… leaning against a tree with Carter’s deceit wrapped around my chest, I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know what to do or how to cope. A soft waft of his scent assaulted me from the jacket I wore just then and I closed my eyes. I couldn’t go further with him. I couldn’t.
“No. I’m not going with you. I can’t. I…” If I spoke anymore, I’d lose my control and wail loud enough to set all of Seattle on us.
Carter stepped close, the distance between us mere inches. He reached out, trailing his fingers down my cheek until I turned my face away. Something in his voice tugged at me, but I ignored the pull. “Be mad at me. That’s fine. But that was a Bianchi back there and he’s looking for you. He had no idea I was at that cabin. All he knew was that they went through the wreckage of your car and there was no evidence of a body on the scene. If Matteo is looking for you, who knows who else is searching.”
Fear riddled through me. Matteo Bianchi. A Bianchi son. He wasn’t in line for the underboss position, but he still held power in the Bianchi family. They were looking for me because of the information I had.
What choice did I have? I had to decide between death by Bianchi or whatever else they would do to the traitorous daughter of a hated rival or… Carter’s plan to stay safe. How could I trust Carter after the deception that didn’t just span one act or one day, but had consumed our entire time together?
Survival had to be more important than whatever feelings I had for him. I had to survive. I could save my family, but only if I made it out of there alive.
I glanced back the way we came, blinking at the sight of beams of light moving and shifting in the trees. I inhaled, the hissing sound catching Carter’s attention and he turned the direction I stared.
“We don’t have time for this. Let’s go.” He reached down and grabbed my hand and I didn’t pull away.
I could use him to get me out of there safely, then I would do my best to get away from him. I didn’t owe him anything. Nothing.
We almost jogged for the next few hundred yards up and down the sloping trail. I’m not sure how many times I looked behind me, certain I would find a flashlight shining right on me.
The clouds rumbled, sinking lower in the sky as if they courted the mountains and longed to be one with the trees and dirt and rocks.
As large drops of rain spattered my face and upper body, I curled the collar of the jacket up around my ears.
Carter paused on the trail, unrolling his flannel sleeves as he stared down the hillside and then behind us on the trail. He glanced at me, buttoning the cuffs without looking at them. “We need to go off-trail to get to the next safehouse. It’s the only way to stay undetected.”
He didn’t have a coat or anything to protect him from the chilling rain the Pacific North West was famous for. The fleeting thought to take off the coat and give it to him wasn’t greeted with much enthusiasm as I reminded myself that he was the one who had betrayed me. Plus, I was cold and I wasn’t going to give it up without more incentive.
“How long until we get there?” I curled my toes in my shoes, grateful I’d had the sense to pull them on before falling into the hatch and essentially down the rabbit hole.
“About another hour of hiking like this.” His voice was full of apologies but they didn’t matter to me.
If I needed him to keep me safe, then there was no point in us being miserable. I couldn’t be sure there’d be a fire there to warm us up. I ducked my head, unzipping my bag and digging through the vast contents that hadn’t been exposed to the elements. Even though it was leather, I’d made sure to find myself a water-proof pack that
I could take anywhere.
“We don’t have time for this, Stephenie. Come on.” Carter paused in his rush when I held up a finger and said nothing.
I closed my fingers around the two plastic bags that were three inches by five inches and barely half an inch thick. Pressing one into Carter’s hands, I tore open the top of the bag I’d kept for myself and pulled out a large, thick plastic poncho. I tucked the small bag back into my purse and pulled the poncho over my head, grateful for the soft pattering of rain on the plastic hood around my hair.
Carter stood there, staring at me in the dark.
“Let’s go.” I lifted my chin. He couldn’t see my eyes to accept the challenge as I squinted at him, but I had no doubt he heard it in my voice.
After another brief second, he mimicked my movements and pulled the poncho out, pulling it over his head and shoving the small container into his jean pocket. He stepped off the trail, the poncho whispering as he moved, but not loud enough to give away our position.
If the rain was a bother to us, it would be a bigger issue for those looking for us. They were just looking. We were fleeing for our lives. There was more determination in the latter.
I tromped down the hillside behind Carter, certain I could ignore the wet sticks and moss as they tried clutching the bare skin above the edge of my shoes and under my pant legs. While the ponchos kept us mostly dry, there was nothing we could do about gusts of wind through the openings of trees that sent rain under the hoods, sleeves, and long edges of the plastic.
The corner of my poncho caught on a branch, tearing as I pulled from the snag. I didn’t stop, just closed my eyes for a step’s worth of time in regret and hope that it would continue to keep me dry as possible.
After what felt like hours and days of impenetrable darkness and walking and tripping over things I couldn’t see, Carter stopped and I almost ran into his back.
I was tired and my eyelids wanted to close. I could sleep right there, probably standing, if I had a minute.
The sound of metal grating on metal and then the high-pitched whine of a metal door opening jerked me into a fully conscious state. I crouched, as if someone might see me.
Carter reached behind him, grabbing my arm and propelling me forward. He shoved me close to an opening and then grabbed me by the waist.
Before I knew what was happening, I was lifted up a couple feet and pushed inside an all-metal box. Carter released me and I rolled to the side until I came against a wall. Sitting up, I watched as he closed two doors which clanged softly when they met in the middle of the opening. A slight grating of metal on metal left us in complete darkness where I wished again for the lesser dark outside.
Our breathing was the only sound until Carter started moving around. I could pull a flashlight out of my bag, but I wasn’t sure if we were safe enough for light and I’d be hanged before I asked him. I could adjust to the dark. I wouldn’t be able to see anything, but I didn’t need to see to sleep.
Leaning my head back against the wall, I closed my eyes and inhaled through my nose, trying to catch my breath. Our flight through the woods had been tiring. I pulled my feet up under me and folded my arms. The metal was cold and I couldn’t get away from it.
Carter’s steps moved him deeper into the darkness. He could have it. I wasn’t going anywhere.
Then a button clicked and suddenly there was light from a small lantern but it was set up about twenty feet further into the insides of the train box car. Completely sealed off from the outside, the light Carter used wouldn’t be seen.
He set the lantern on a small card table set up between two cots with blankets stacked at the heads. He moved toward me, reaching out a hand to help me up.
I turned away from him, moving to stand on my own. I wasn’t too proud that I would stay where I was when I was as cold as I was. No, but I certainly didn’t need him to touch me.
He stood there, his hands helpless at his sides. “Stephenie, I…”
I held up a hand, palm facing him and I shook my head. “Stay away from me.” As far as I was concerned, the sooner I got away from him the better.
Too bad my heart longed to ask him why. Too bad my heart needed to shut up as it begged me to turn to him and cry in his arms.
It didn’t matter. My heart was stupid.
Chapter 14
Carter
Stephenie was never going to forgive me. Did I blame her? Of course not, but that didn’t mean I wanted her to stay mad at me.
She moved around me, pulling the poncho over her head and draping it on a fold up chair set at the card table. She pulled off her bag, but held it beside her, careful to make sure she wasn’t too far from it. Shedding the damp denim coat and draping it on another chair, she continued ignoring me, moving to sit on the cot and kicking her shoes off.
Pulling off the poncho she’d offered me, I draped it on the table itself and took a seat across from her on the other cot. My own hiking boots were damp on the outside but they’d kept my feet dry. I could at least be grateful for that. My flannel shirt hadn’t done that much for my chest, arms, and back.
I cleared my throat. “Thanks for the poncho. I didn’t know that was in there.” How would I unless I’d gone through her things? Maybe she would know I hadn’t dug through her stuff… much. I mean, of course I had a little bit, but not as much as I should have. I’d planned on us finding her bag, but the time with Stephenie without the clutter of the outside world had been too important, too real. I didn’t want to lose any of it with unnecessary discussions until we were ready.
She didn’t say anything. Silence stretched between us, filled only with the consistent rain beating on the boxcar. Stephenie reached over to the stack of blankets on her cot and unfolded the three that were there, placing one on the cot before crawling on top of it and then covering herself with the last two. She ignored me as she moved the bag around and then rested her head on it like a pillow with her back to me.
The quiet was unnerving and I suddenly had the overwhelming need to talk, just talk. If she wanted to listen, great. If not, there was nothing I could do about that. “I started setting this up about two months ago when I found it on a walk. My guy, the US Marshal, would bring me supplies every few weeks and I would give him a list that I wanted. He never checked it, just gave me what I wanted.”
Dave Woodsall. The guy was nice and expected too much from his informants. I laid down, too, staring up at the top of the boxcar like it held all the answers. “I knew the cabin couldn’t be safe. Dave promised it was. Said the nearest house was fifteen miles away. Can you believe that? Fifteen miles. I’d never been fifteen miles from people my whole life. So, I settled in.”
I couldn’t tell if Stephenie was listening or not, but I couldn’t seem to stop the deluge of information tumbling from my mouth. I needed her to understand, at least in some small way, that I wasn’t the bad guy.
“I’m out here because all of the other lawyers were killed. There were six of us across the three families. The other five are gone.” I sighed, shaking my head. “Even Dave… I haven’t heard from him in four weeks. I promised him I’d stay out of sight no matter what and only come out on the day of the trial. I’m a lawyer, so I don’t need prepping. At least, I keep telling myself that. I’m not even a witness or anything. I haven’t done anything. The people keeping me safe are the Italian families. Dave was a Marshal that worked for them. He was on their side.” I closed my eyes, shame flooding through me.
“You don’t have all of the information. You’ve been with me for the last few weeks, hiding away from the families, but I’m one of the ones you’re turning in at the trial. Not because of something I’ve done, but because of something I haven’t done.” Tell the truth. I knew the things the Bianchis had done. I was a witness to things the Rossis had done as well as the Capones.
But to be honest and fair, both of the latter families had been working for the last decade to clean up their acts and become fully legal. Sometimes, they pushed their
agenda using illegal means, but overall, they were going good. How could I deny them the right to try? Turning them in would go against everything I believed in. Didn’t everyone deserve second chances?
Stephenie didn’t say anything and I didn’t blame her. What did I expect her to do with the onslaught of information? I’d already apologized. She was in danger because of me, because of her family. That wasn’t the type of thing you just moved on from.
I finally stopped talking, listening to the sounds of the rain outside the car. I closed my eyes, the sounds of Stephenie’s breathing comforting even as I knew she’d never forgive me. As much as I was attached to her and wanted a chance to plan on more, I had to relish the time with her as long as I could. Once the trial was over, there would be no more chances.
I must have nodded off. The sounds of someone struggling and crying snapped me awake and I rolled to a sitting position. Had they found us? Were they hurting Stephenie?
The lantern still glowed, illuminating Stephenie’s form on the cot as she rocked side to side, her hand flailing against the wall of the car. She gasped, sobbed, and whimpered.
Rather than let her get louder and louder as she was trapped in her nightmare, I moved the short distance between us and sat on the edge of the cot, resting my hand on her shoulder. That didn’t calm her so I scooped my arms under her back and under her knees, pulling her onto my lap as I sat on her cot, cradling her close to me and across my lap.
I pulled her head against my chest and held her, letting my heat sooth her. I wasn’t sure what exactly she was fighting, but I could at least offer her extra strength.
For a moment I was sure she was going to wake and push away from me. Instead, she cuddled closer, her fingers coming to rest against the skin at the base of my neck. I closed my eyes and reveled at the feel of her in my arms.
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