by Laura Hysell
“Me too. Do you two want to join me for dinner here?” Justin asked, looking at us eagerly. “At the cabin, I mean.”
“Sorry, Justin, we can’t tonight. Pack business. Maybe in a few days, when we don’t need so many bodyguards,” Mark answered as he stood up and pulled me to my feet.
Justin nodded and looked at me, his blue eyes still wide with excitement as he bounced from foot to foot. “Love you, sis. We’ll talk again soon, right?”
I smiled and hugged my brother. “Soon,” I replied, kissing his cheek. “We’d better go.”
We left the lab in silence, none of us speaking as we walked through the field toward the forest on the northern side of Jed’s vast property. We passed several men and wolves as we hiked, many of whom I didn’t know. Our silent walk made more sense. After an hour we came to a clearing in the middle of the forest. Two older picnic tables and a fire pit were prominent in the center, making it look like an old campsite. Mark led me to one of the tables, and we sat on top of it, our feet on the bench.
John looked around and held up his hand. “Let me take a quick look,” he said, before he broke into a jog. He came back a few minutes later and nodded his head.
After John had walked away out of hearing range, I turned to Mark. “Okay, now explain,” I said.
He scratched at his facial hair, a frown marring his forehead. “I’m not sure where to begin. There’s a lot to explain, Izzy. Vanessa can help you out with the finer points of werewolf life, and some of the girlie stuff,” he added.
“Why don’t you start with what happened back in the lab,” I prompted.
Mark bit his lip and shrugged. “I don’t really know,” he said.
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“Well, I mean, I know what happened, but I don’t really know how or why.” He sighed and turned so he was facing me. “You took my pain.”
I nodded. “I figured that part out on my own.”
“Right, of course you did. It took me a minute to figure out what you were doing because the only person I’ve ever known to do that is the Alpha. He doesn’t do it often, because it’s draining, but he has done it in extreme cases. But he can do it because he’s the Alpha. This was different though. It was more of a sharing, I guess,” he said, shrugging as though he was struggling to explain. “I’ve heard of it before, but…” he trailed off, his head turning to watch John hike back into view. John nodded and continued walking.
“But what, Mark?” I prompted after John had moved out of eyesight.
He stared at me, the frown deepening on his forehead. “Maybe this is a Vanessa question,” he said suddenly. “She’s a full-blooded werewolf. I don’t have any facts, so I don’t want to confuse you more, or give you wrong information.”
“You really don’t know?”
He shook his head. “Sorry, but what I think I know is… well, it just…it’s…”
“Confusing,” John supplied as he walked past us again. “I’m confused too. Vanessa is on her way, and you can ask her then.”
I leaned my head against Mark’s shoulder, taking comfort in his presence. “I guess we don’t have much time for our chat after all,” I murmured.
“No, I suppose not,” Mark replied. “Vanessa is early though.”
“Anything else you need to tell me?”
“Block your thoughts, like Jed had mentioned,” Mark said. “I’m not very good at describing it. It’s like you build a wall inside your mind, which keeps your thoughts guarded so they stay your own.”
“Oh, I think I know what you mean.” Aidan had taught me to do something similar against Henri. I smiled in realization as I immediately put blocks up in my mind. Then another thought entered my mind, and my hand strayed to the dagger still on my side.
Aidan, I spoke, reaching out as I normally had for the knife. I waited a few seconds, but there was no response. My heart sped up in panic and I tried again, seeking out toward the voice that had become like a best friend. Aidan, can you hear me?
I’m back! Aidan yelled, his voice suddenly loud in my mind. I jumped, and Mark frowned down at me.
“Who is Aidan?” Mark asked.
I shook my head, not sure how to explain it as Aidan continued speaking. Izzy, I don’t know what the fuck happened. One minute, I felt your werewolf magic flowing everywhere, and the next thing I knew you were gone. I was gone. We were separated. It was like someone or something was keeping me out. How did you find me?
Find you? I asked, thoroughly confused. I just tried speaking to you like I always did.
Isabella, the voice of Jed intruded into my mind, causing my heart to race. Mark looked at me sharply, as though he had heard it too. Isabella, who is that? Is that the vampire?
Jed, no, it’s not Henri, I replied.
Aidan suddenly replied back, excitement and confusion in his voice. Who are you? How did you get in Izzy’s head? Izzy, what’s going on?
Aidan, that’s Jed, the Alpha of the Pack, I responded.
“Izzy, you’re cracking,” Mark said suddenly, and I looked up at him. “Your wall is breaking down. The rest of the pack will be able to hear you soon.”
Can we talk later? I asked, not sure if I was asking Jed or Aidan, but they both replied in unison right before they retreated from my mind. I sighed in relief as a weight lifted from me, and I placed the blocks back in my mind. The fact that Jed and Aidan could hear each other was a bit alarming, to say the least. In addition to that, it seemed like Mark could hear every thought in my head as well. Things were just getting more and more complicated. What was next? I didn’t have time to think further on the situation as Vanessa stepped into view, her hair a dark black with purple undertones. After a quick greeting, Mark and John excused themselves, leaving me with Vanessa to begin my werewolf initiation.
CHAPTER FOUR
Vanessa sat beside me on the picnic table silently for several minutes after Mark and John had left. I wasn’t sure what to expect. Was she going to train me as a wolf, or just tell me things to expect? Or was it going to be a little of both? Mark hadn’t told me much about werewolf life, but I knew a few things. We healed fast, we were allergic to silver, and apparently we were all connected mind-to-mind like a hive.
“You learned to block your thoughts,” she said finally. I nodded, and she continued. “Keep that up. It’s easier to block your own thoughts than it is to try and block out someone else’s. I can do it most of the time, but it gives me a terrible headache.”
“Oh, sorry about that,” I replied.
She laughed and shook her thick purple and black hair. “Don’t worry about it. Every new wolf does it, and some others who should know better. Speaking of things every wolf should know, there are some pretty big details that aren’t common knowledge. You’ve been around us enough to know the main things, but there are a few details we don’t tell outsiders.”
Vanessa stopped speaking and frowned, which didn’t help my nerves. I had been waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I had a feeling this was it. “Just give it to me straight,” I said. “The good and the bad. Just tell me.”
She pursed her lips in thought, then nodded. “Okay, let’s start with the Alpha. As you know, he’s in charge. He can order his wolves around and even push that order on us so it’s impossible to resist. It’s not like a vampire, who controls you and you have no knowledge. This is more like he gives us orders that need to be followed immediately, and we are compelled to do them. You can argue and be unhappy about it, but you’ll still do it. Some Alphas abuse this power, but Jed isn’t like that. He’s never ordered me anywhere before. Some Alphas are really powerful when it comes to this too. My original Pack’s Alpha was so powerful, he could order other Alphas around. He was born a werewolf though, and pure-bred wolves tend to be stronger, and more powerful.”
“Pure-bred?” I asked.
“Yes, like me. I was born a werewolf, not bitten. My mother was a pure-bred werewolf, but my father was bitten. Children born of t
hese unions are rare.”
“Rare? Why?”
“A werewolf can be born if both parents are werewolves. The problem is that female werewolves are hard to come by. They just don’t survive as often. In addition, carrying a baby to term is a challenge. The mother has to resist changing to wolf form for the duration of her pregnancy. Plus, even just getting pregnant is almost impossible,” she added.
“What?” I asked, my brain struggling to keep up with her words. Was she telling me I might never have children?
She sighed and shifted position, looking at me with what could only be sympathy. “We heal incredibly fast, and you’ll notice your fertility cycle changing. It’ll become unpredictable. Every time we shift into wolf form, our bodies sort of start over again. Most women who are trying to get pregnant try not to shift at all, but of course that makes it harder when the woman does get pregnant. It’s difficult to resist changing during the full moon, but possible. When you make that eight or nine full moons, the difficulty only increases. The baby just can’t survive the shift. That’s assuming you can even get pregnant in the first place. Men just don’t stay fertile forever, and we live very long lives. Between that, our own cycles being crazy, and shifting, there are very few natural wolves.”
I sat quietly, thinking on her words. This wasn’t something I had expected. All my life, I had longed to be a mother, and now that possibility seemed out of my grasp. Tears welled in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. This wasn’t the end. This was just a difficulty. Vanessa was a born wolf, after all, so it was possible.
Vanessa continued talking, but I had stopped listening, until something she said perked my interest. “What was that?” I asked. “About Mark and me?”
She shrugged and smiled. “Well, I don’t know if it’s for sure, but Jed sure seems to think so. I’ve only seen it once before, in my own parents. That’s why I’m here, and I have three brothers back home.”
“Wait, you have brothers? I thought it was hard for werewolves to get pregnant, but your mom carried four children to term?”
“My parents are mated. They’re the only mated couple I know, but from what I understand, it comes with perks.”
I ran my hands across my face. “What does that have to do with Mark and me?”
“Jed thinks you’re a mated pair. Weren’t you listening?”
“Mated pair?”
“All the signs seem to point to it. He says he’s never felt two people more connected to each other before. I called my parents and asked them about it. Apparently, you can speak to each other from any distance, you’ll know where your mate is at all times and be able to find them, you can share pain and heal each other. Basically, you’re just two halves of a whole. They can also share the call of the moon. When my mother was pregnant, my father spent half the pregnancy in wolf form in order to help her resist the call of the moon easier. Obviously, it worked,” she added, smiling and pointing at herself. “So, do you think you and Mark are mates?”
“We shared pain,” I murmured, and Vanessa jumped up in surprise.
“What? When? How?”
I shook my head. “I’m not sure how, it just sort of happened. Mark was in pain, getting the vaccine, and I didn’t want to see him like that. So, I took it from him, unconsciously. I took all of it though, and he had to pull it back into himself. It was a balancing act, but we ended up sharing the load so neither of us was in excruciating pain.” I took a deep breath and looked at Vanessa. She was still standing on the seat, staring down at me with wide eyes. “So, if Mark and I are mated, what exactly does that mean?”
“Being mated and being a mated pair are similar, but not exactly the same. Any wolf couple can be mated, but a true mated pair is a rare and wondrous thing. I think what you and Mark have is special. I saw it when you were still human. I think a lot of us saw it. You two moved together, and around each other, almost like a dance. It was like you were connected, even back then. My parents would love to meet you two, by the way,” she added.
“I don’t even know what to say,” I murmured.
“Time will tell.” She jumped down onto the ground and indicated I should follow her. “Well, now that we got that out of the way, let’s move onto the fun stuff. Have you tested out your hearing yet? Or your sense of smell? Our senses are heightened over humans. I’ve only known wolf senses, but I know some people have a hard time adjusting to the difference.”
“I remember when Jared changed,” I said, thinking back to the problems he seemed to have with his senses and his emotions. “Where is Jared, by the way? Why haven’t I seen him?”
Vanessa turned away and began walking, forcing me to chase after her. After I caught up, she still didn’t speak for several minutes. I could see the emotions playing across her face, and I felt my heart racing in response. “Jared’s okay,” she said finally, slowly.
“Where is he?”
She shrugged. “He’s around here somewhere. I think he took a couple extra patrol shifts.”
“Is he avoiding me?”
“He made sure you made it through the change.”
“So he is avoiding me?”
She sighed loudly and stopped, hands on her hips. “He’s in love with you, Izzy. He just started to work through his feelings for you, then you chose Mark. On top of that, he was there when Jed said he thought you and Mark might be a mated pair. Let’s just say, he didn’t take it very well. Better than Beth, but he’s still having a hard time with it.”
“Shit, I should have known.”
Vanessa shoved me playfully on the shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up over it. You’ve been having a pretty shitty time as it is. Almost dying after being a vampire’s plaything is enough to drive anyone insane. Then you turn into a werewolf on top of it. As I see it, you’re handling things pretty well so far. Better than most people would.”
“That’s because I haven’t had time to think about it,” I retorted. What was I going to do? I cared about Jared a great deal, I even loved him, but Mark held my heart. He always had. It had taken me a long time to admit that. Plus, my feelings for Jared were strong. Complicated, but strong. “When will he be back?”
She shrugged and said, “I think tomorrow. Don’t worry about Jared. He’s tough.”
“I just hope he finds someone,” I replied, casting a glance at Vanessa.
“Oh, no,” she replied, holding her hands up in the air. “Jared’s great, don’t get me wrong, but he’s so not my type.”
I smiled as we started walking again. “So, what is your type?” I asked, hoping to divert the conversation away from myself for a few minutes.
“I like danger, adventure, and lots of tattoos.”
“Really?”
“Been a werewolf my whole life, Izzy. I like adventure, and I need someone who can keep up with me. It’s why I left my Pack. There was no way I was settling down with Frank the accountant, just because he was a pure-bred werewolf. No way!”
“Frank?” I laughed, sure she was making it up.
“Frank wasn’t nearly as bad as Peter. Son of the Alpha, and a complete waste of breath. They thought Peter would be Alpha someday, but I highly doubt that. The man doesn’t have that Alpha edge to him. Not just anyone can be Alpha.” She stopped speaking, and I could see her mind had turned to more serious matters again. “Did you know, that in order to be an Alpha you have to either create your own Pack or challenge the current Alpha for leadership?”
I shook my head and she continued. “Jed is in charge because he created this Pack years ago. He didn’t like the leadership in his former Pack, and he had that Alpha quality. Instead of challenging for leadership, he left the Pack and many of the others followed him. He was young, and the older wolves wouldn’t have followed him willingly anyway. Besides, Jed’s just not a killer. He does what’s right, but he didn’t like the idea of killing the old Alpha, just because he thought he could do better. Mark is the same way.”
“You’re saying Mark could be Alpha?”
/>
“That’s exactly what I’m saying. Think about the type of man he is. He just has that special something. He’s strong, powerful, and a leader. Mark respects Jed and would never challenge him, but if he wanted to, he could be an Alpha and create his own Pack. That’s why he was second in command for all those years.”
“But that’s Hugo now?”
She shrugged and said, “Technically, Hugo is second. He’s strong and powerful, but he’s not an Alpha. He just doesn’t have it. If something happened to Jed, I don’t think Hugo would be able to assume leadership. Pack magic can be a strange thing sometimes. I believe Alphas are chosen through Pack magic, and it’s just up to the person to decide his path. Whether it’s as second in command, or as Alpha. I’ve seen too many strange things to believe that just anyone can be Alpha. But then again, who knows?”
I thought on her words as she led me deep into the forest. Jed’s home was far from civilization and as such, very quiet. We walked in the peaceful stillness until Vanessa led me off the path and down a narrow game trail. She said nothing, but pointed at her eyes, ears, and nose, indicating I should use my senses. I nodded my head as we carefully walked down the new path. The ground was soft and wet, so we were able to walk quietly. Birds chirped nearby, and I followed the sound until I spotted the nest, high up in a tree. The sound of a twig breaking caught my ears, and I turned my head, seeking out the source of the noise. I didn’t see anything, and I heard nothing else. Vanessa tapped her nose and pointed toward the place the sound had originated. I took a deep breath in, concentrating on the scents. The smell of trees and earth hit me first, mixed with the scent of something musky. I honed in on that scent, trying to separate the smell. It was unfamiliar to me, but I knew it was animal of some kind.
Vanessa leaned over and whispered in my ear. “Deer,” she said softly, taking another quick breath. “Buck, actually.”
I nodded, and she led me further into the forest. New scents beset me, and I quickly learned that the forest was made up of more than just grass, dirt, and trees. Each tree had a unique scent. Each bush and shrub was one of a kind. On top of those scents were the smells of wildlife. Here, a deer had urinated on a bush. There a coyote had birthed a litter of young. Each animal had a unique aroma. Never before had I truly appreciated the scents of the forest, or any scents for that matter. As a regular human, I had lingered over pleasant smells. This was something new. Every scent had a meaning. It wasn’t just about the pleasing scents of flowers, but more about the stories these scents conveyed. One could get lost discovering the vast array of smells. Now I understood why dogs would roll in the grass. Every scent was unique and wonderful in its own way, and I wanted to carry those scents with me, in order to share them with others.
