by Laura Hysell
“Mark, don’t do this. Not now.”
“Do what?” he snapped, his fingers going still. “Did you stop to think that maybe I need to talk about it, Izzy? You like to bottle things up and keep them to yourself, but maybe I don’t. I can’t.”
“Fine,” I said, throwing my hands up in the air in defeat as I turned around on the bed to face him. “What do you want to talk about, Mark?”
“You’re not making this easy, you know.”
“Mark, I just found out I’m a werewolf. I spent months being controlled by a vampire. I’m a little overwhelmed right now.”
“And when you weren’t being controlled by him?” he asked, his eyes boring into me.
“Mark, please,” I whispered, my heart pounding at the thought of where he was going with this line of questioning.
“No, damn it, I need to know. Rip the bandage off nice and quick.” He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me. “I knew what was happening to me most of the time, Izzy. I saw things, but my body did whatever that fucker told me to do. I fought other werewolves. I killed people because he told me to. I almost killed you.”
We were both breathing hard, staring at each other from inches away. Tears welled in my eyes, but I suddenly knew what Mark needed. We had to get it all out in the open, so there were no secrets or lies between us. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves. “I pretended to obey him, but when he realized I wasn’t in his control as much as he liked, he forced me to drink his blood. My dagger held him at bay, or rather, the magic in the dagger did. It fought off his control, but at some point I took it off. When that happened, he took over everything. I have little recollection of those months. I was his… sex slave, and his blood bag. I was his, and I knew nothing else.”
“He took me out into a field and shot me repeatedly. Then, he handed me a gun while he walked out into the open between two other men. He ordered me to shoot them, and I did. All the while, I knew exactly what I was doing. I wanted nothing more than to turn that gun on him and pull the trigger, but I couldn’t, because he told me not to.” Mark stopped and took a deep breath.
My turn. “He made me watch you and the others fight in the arena. I pretended to enjoy it. I was aware of what was happening,” I said, tears flowing down my face as I forced myself to continue. “I knew, Mark. I wasn’t his slave at the time, but I did what he told me to do, because I had to keep playing the game. So when we had sex in front of you, I wasn’t a mindless slave. I was aware, and I let it happen.”
Mark was already shaking his head. “I know, Izzy, I know. I wanted nothing more than to rip the head off that blood-sucking piece of shit, but I couldn’t. I was aware too, but I couldn’t move and I couldn’t react.”
“I didn’t want to,” I mumbled, the tears pouring down my chin to drip on my dress. “I didn’t want any of it.”
“I know. More than anyone else, I know. I don’t blame you for any of this. It’s his fault. He’s the piece of shit.”
“This sucks,” I sobbed.
“Yes, it does,” he replied.
“Years of counseling, huh?”
He chuckled and ran a hand through my hair. “Probably, yeah. Good thing we live really long lives. It’ll give us time to work through our shit.”
“Right, like the Beth situation.”
“What Beth situation?” he asked, pulling back to look at me.
Shit, I probably should have saved that for a different time. “We sort of got in a fight,” I murmured as I wiped my face.
“A fight? What sort of fight?”
“Um, the sort of fight that involves words. And fists. Maybe some kicks too.”
“Did you win?”
“What?” I asked, looking up at his face to see if he was joking or not. I couldn’t tell.
“Did you win?” he repeated, and he seemed serious.
“Well, yeah,” I replied.
“Good.”
“That’s it? Good? Don’t you want to know what the fight was about?” I asked.
He stared at me with a smile tugging at his lips. “It’s Beth,” he said wryly.
I shrugged in agreement, but there was one part that bugged me. “Some of what she said made sense,” I said slowly. “I mean, most of it was just her sobbing about you and her brother. She’s still pretty angry with you.”
“She’s angry with me? I thought she just wanted…” he stopped, coughing suddenly and very unconvincingly.
“What, you thought she just wanted to jump your bones?”
“Izzy!”
“She’s mad that you left her when she needed you the most.” The smile that had been on Mark’s face faded immediately. “And she warned me that you’d do the same to me. That you’d blame yourself for me being a werewolf and that you’d leave me.”
“Your situation is not the same as hers.”
“You sure about that? You and Beth were a couple. You were instrumental in her becoming a werewolf. Then, you left.”
“I didn’t love her,” he said as his hands pulled me closer. “I’ve never loved anyone until I met you. You are my whole world. Do I feel guilty about what happened to Beth? Yes, I do. I can’t help it. I feel guilty about leaving her, but I couldn’t be with her. I thought she’d be okay with the Pack. Had I stayed, things would have been worse. She blamed me, every day. I couldn’t go an hour without her throwing it in my face. Then I leave, and all I hear from the Pack is how she blamed me for leaving her behind. I knew. Believe me, Jed told me everything that happened. It was a case of damned if you do, damned if you don’t.”
“Then you and I show up here,” I added.
“Together,” Mark amended. “You already had me wrapped around those pretty little fingers of yours. You just didn’t know it yet, but she did. The whole Pack knew. I hadn’t been around them in a while, and I had a hard time keeping my thoughts to myself. And you were all that was on my mind.”
“Oh,” I said, feeling myself blush.
“So don’t for a second think that you and Beth are anything alike, or that your situations are anything alike. You’re the love of my life, Isabella Howerton, and I’m not letting you go. Not for anyone. Not for Beth. Not for Jared. Not for some weird voice in your head that keeps humming,” he added.
I laughed, and Aidan’s humming grew louder. What are you doing? I asked him.
It’s the song they play at weddings.
Go away, Aidan.
Oh, do you two need some privacy?
Aidan!
Aidan’s laughter floated away, but I waited a few minutes before I was sure he had gone. If he had actually left. I didn’t have a clue where he went, or if he was actually gone, but he was silent and that was enough for me. I sighed and leaned into Mark, resting my head on his shoulder. It felt better, getting some of that worry off my chest. Mark was right to push me into opening up. It was horrible, but cathartic as well.
“About Jared,” Mark said slowly, his arms tightening around me. “Do you love him?”
It must have been incredibly difficult for him to ask me that. I took a deep breath and leaned back so I could look Mark in the face. The fear and worry was etched plainly on his face. “Yes, but not in the way I love you,” I said slowly. “With Jared, it’s different. When Sarah tortured us, we bonded in a way I can’t explain. He’s family to me, and he always will be, but more like a brother. I think things got confused between us.”
“He’s in love with you, Izzy.”
“He loves me, but I don’t think he’s in love with me,” I replied. “I love him, but I’m not in love with him. I’m in love with you. It’ll be different when he finds his own mate,” I said, using the word that had been bouncing around in my mind since I’d spoken with Vanessa.
“Mate, huh?”
I smiled and whispered, “Maybe.”
He ran a hand through my hair again, his eyes soft and warm. “This isn’t easy, you know. Knowing another man is in love with you and knowing that you two have a connection.”
“Jealous?”
“Of Jared, maybe a little,” he admitted, shrugging his shoulders. “Don’t tell him that!”
“Well, I get a little jealous of Beth,” I said.
He grinned and said, “I know.”
“Shut up,” I said, smacking him playfully on the arm.
“I’m a little jealous of this Aidan guy too,” he added, his lips twitching with humor even as he tried to look serious.
“Oh, really? Why is that?”
“Well, I don’t know what he looks like, for starters.”
“Neither do I,” I retorted.
He continued, shaking his head. “He has keen insight into your mind.”
“You kind of do too.”
“He was there for you when I wasn’t,” he said softly, the humor quickly leaving his face. “I think that’s the worst part, with Aidan and Jared. They’ve both been there for you at times I wasn’t, and I should have been there. It kills me that harm has come to you over and over since I pulled you away from school that day.”
“What would have happened if I’d stayed?”
He shrugged, the frown on his face deepening. “You’d probably be a mindless vampire slave like the rest of the world, with no knowledge of the truth.”
“Doubtful,” I replied.
“Why’s that?”
“Because you never would have let that happen to me. Had I gotten that vaccine, you probably would have still brought me here and tried to fix me. Or, are you saying that you would have just left me behind?”
“I’ve been in love with you since the day I first laid eyes on you. I’d go to the ends of the earth for you. There’s no way I could have left you like that.”
“That’s what I thought. So, your point is invalid,” I said, shrugging nonchalantly. He rolled his eyes and I took the opportunity to plant a kiss on his lips. I’d meant it to be a quick, chaste kiss, but the moment our lips met, all coherent thought left my mind.
Mark’s fingers tangled in my hair while he returned my kiss with fervor. My hands moved across his chest, feeling the taut muscles beneath his shirt. He sat up and pulled away from the kiss, sliding his shirt over his head in one smooth motion. I sat up on my knees like he had, my fingers tracing across the faint line of hair running down the center of his stomach. His hands reached around me, tracing down the open back of the dress while he pulled me close in order to kiss me again. His mouth moved from my lips to trace kisses down my chin while one of his hands snaked down the side of my dress until he met the bare flesh of my thigh. Then he moved his hands back up my leg, tickling his fingers across the sensitive skin of my inner thigh.
I groaned, or perhaps it was more of a growl, as his fingers deftly slid my underwear down. He stopped all movement, seemingly frozen. I blinked and leaned back, wondering what the problem was. He was looking down at me with a worried expression on his face.
“Mark?” I urged as I wrapped my fingers around the length of him. His pants were unzipped and pulled partially down, and I had no recollection of doing it.
“Izzy, let’s just take a breather,” he said slowly.
“A what?” I asked, my eyebrows raising in surprise as I glanced back up at him.
“You’re wolfing out,” he said slowly.
“No I’m not,” I replied as I slowly released my grip on him.
“Your eyes are almost fully golden,” he said softly. “They’re starting to go back to normal, but you were losing it there for a minute. Just take a few deep breaths.”
I did as he asked, taking slow, deep breaths even as my body ached for him to touch me again. One of his hands was at the small of my back, while the other was wrapped around my upper thigh between my legs, but neither of them were moving. “Better?” I asked after I had taken half a dozen breaths.
He nodded, and I took that as ascent, pulling my dress up and over my head. A bra wasn’t needed with the dress, so I was naked except for the lace underwear that was already partially pulled down. Mark groaned as I put my arms around his neck and pulled him to me for a kiss. His mouth moved against mine, but his fingers stayed unbearably still. I moved one of my hands from around his neck, tracing a line down his stomach until my hand reached what it sought. I gripped him gently, teasingly. He made a noise in his throat as his hand tightened on my inner thigh, but he still didn’t touch me as I wanted.
“Mark, please,” I pleaded, pulling away from the kiss long enough to speak.
He was breathing hard, and his own eyes had a touch of gold around the edge as he stared back at me. “We have to be careful,” he said gruffly, his voice strained as I tightened my grip on him.
I nodded my head and he moved his hand, grasping my underwear and sliding it down to my knees. Then he picked me up and rolled me over onto the bed. I laughed as I bounced, and he grabbed my feet to pull my underwear off the rest of the way. He took his time standing up and removing his shorts, which I presumed was to give me further time to control my wolf.
“Mark,” I said, but he was on me in a flash, his body across the top of mine. The tip of him pressed against me, seeking entry. He held himself there, staring down at me, waiting for me to calm down further. I took two deep breaths, but it did nothing to stop the pounding of my heart or the urgings of my body. I moved myself against him, until he relented and slowly pushed himself inside me. My body ached for more, but he moved slowly, which only heightened my pleasure. Slowly, steadily, the pressure built until I was aching and moaning for more. Finally, Mark could no longer hold himself in check, and he sped up, pounding himself inside me with increasing strength as I rode wave after wave of pleasure. As my body finally began to relax from exhaustion, Mark picked me up and pulled us off the bed. I stared at him wide-eyed and locked my legs around him as he stood and turned, pressing me against the wall. He grinned at me suddenly as he slowly began to move in and out of me once more. I held on to his shoulders and groaned as he pounded himself into me from this new angle. My legs should have given out by now, but I found strength and stamina I had never experienced before.
We moved around the room again, having sex in angles and positions I never would have dreamed of as a human. Now, as a werewolf, a whole new world had opened up to me. Mark no longer seemed concerned about my wolf taking over. If he wasn’t worried about it, I figured I didn’t need to worry either. I lost myself in the moment, enjoying my time with him as we explored each other like we never had before.
CHAPTER NINE
Waking up in Mark’s arms would never get old, I decided. The clock beside the bed said it was almost noon and I was still tired. That wasn’t surprising since the sun had been rising when we had finally fallen asleep, exhausted. I wasn’t sure what had woken me up, since Mark was still sleeping. I rolled over and Mark rolled with me, his arms encircling me from behind. Maybe Mark wasn’t sleeping after all. He pressed his body against my back, and I knew he was very much awake, and just as eager as he had been the previous night.
“I’m hungry,” I murmured, realizing what had woken me up as my stomach grumbled.
“Me too,” he agreed, while his free hand pinched my nipple.
“I meant for food.”
He chuckled and kissed the back of my neck. “How hungry?” he asked. “I don’t want to try the patience of your wolf.”
My stomach rumbled again, answering the question for me. He rolled away from me and I shivered at the sudden lack of warmth. “Be back in a flash. Don’t go anywhere,” he said.
I rolled over and watched as Mark slipped pants on and headed out of the room. I took the silence to stretch and reflect. Last night had been wonderful. Just as wonderful as our first time together, but different. Being a werewolf was freeing and exhilarating. I climbed out of bed and opened my dresser, searching for something to wear. I didn’t plan on turning into a wolf, but I didn’t know what kind of training I’d be put through today, so I went with leggings and a t-shirt. I glanced at myself in the mirror, thinking I looked like I was go
ing to go for a workout.
Mark came back a few minutes later, carrying a tray of sandwiches. My stomach growled in appreciation and I sat down on the bed to eat. He grinned at me and walked to his dresser, pulling open the top drawer. I swallowed hard as I saw the contents of his dresser and the blood drained from my face.
“Uh, we got a little too carried away last night,” I murmured, my eyes glued to the box of condoms in his drawer.
He shrugged and looked back at me. “No biggie,” he said.
“What?” I asked. “No biggie?”
“You’re a werewolf now, Izzy.” He stopped and frowned at me. “I thought you and Vanessa spoke,” he said slowly.
“We spoke,” I said.
He turned and faced me fully, leaning back against the dresser and closing the drawer. “Pregnancy isn’t much of a worry for werewolves, Izzy, especially a new wolf like you.”
“Vanessa mentioned it would be difficult for us to ever…” I trailed off, not wanting to say more.
“I wouldn’t worry about it right now,” he said slowly.
“Sure,” I said, nodding my head and returning to my food. His eyes were on me as I took a large bite, but I refused to look up. He finally turned back to his dresser and pulled out clothes to wear. I closed my eyes and took another bite, hoping to calm my pounding heart. Now wasn’t the time to think about things like pregnancy and children, not when there were bigger problems to deal with.
As soon as he was dressed, Mark sat down on the edge of the bed and picked up a sandwich from the plate. “We should head over to see your brother. He’ll want to do blood tests on us. Plus, John is tired of waiting around for us. He was grumbling about us sleeping the day away when I went to get us food,” he said as he bit into his sandwich.
I finished my second sandwich and nodded my head. “More blood tests. Great.”
“Hey, with any luck we won’t have to get any injections,” Mark said optimistically.
I shook my head, thinking our luck wasn’t that good, and stood up. Mark grabbed his second sandwich and followed me to the door. John was sitting in a chair outside our bedroom door, reading a book. My eyebrows rose as I looked at the cover, which portrayed a man and woman locked in an embrace. He quickly shut the book and set it on the chair. “It’s a mystery,” he said in his deep, scary voice.
