Let it go. Come on. We’re nearly home.
Rumplty bump of Meemaw walking on and me having a carry. I stopped pushing putted my head on Meemaw’s shoulder of lumpy bone. Rumplty bump. A yawn came.
Sudden I remembered Karen standed on our step with orange Sainsbury’s bags. I shutted my eyes in case of it.
When I opened we were by our steps and no Karen. No Karen. Our door of dark blue called navy. Its gritty edges part. Its golden letters flap.
It was dark in our flat. Leftover of Karen stinky perfume maked a quiet noise smell. Maked a itch in my body of wrong. But Meemaw putted on the light and the itch went away.
I runned all round our flat three times. I jumped over dinosaur world and I singed out.
Our flat our flat our flat!
Not too loud, Dan! Upstairs man!
I remembered him upstairs man and I was kind. I quieted it.
Meemaw washed her hands. Started of making me toast.
Marmite Meemaw!
Marmite, what?
Please!
I went for a wee. It was big and long. Then I went upside down on our chair watched Meemaw doing upside down walking about. She maked tea she cutted my toast in four for windows.
Meemaw give me my toast here I can do practice of upside down eating.
No. You might choke. Come to the table.
I sitted at the table Spiney too. Swinged my legs. Very good toast of home. Home water in white mug with the dark line inside.
Meemaw by the window her smoke going out in the air. Picky picking at flaky paint very naughty because mustn’t pick it Danny the deposit.
Danny, you know, more than anything I want you to be free. You do know that, don’t you?
I thinked of free. Meemaw meaned not prisoned up.
I am free Meemaw.
You mustn’t ever make your choices in life because you think you need to look after me. Do you understand what I’m saying, Dan? Do you hear me?
It was a silly Meemaw thing. All silly and words fast. I looked at picky picking Meemaw her eyes gone shine and fierce to me.
You’re telling about nonsense Meemaw. Meemaw looks after Danny for ever ever always.
Meemaw maked a big suck on her rolly talked in funny voice of holding in smoke.
You get one go, one go at life, and every time you compromise, every time you hem yourself in…
Huff out the smoke came of Meemaw’s nose. A dragon.
… you find the choices narrow. You find the world shrinks down.
World shrinks down I didn’t like it.
Don’t say of that Meemaw!
Meemaw’s words came fast more.
There’s traps, Danny! Traps you don’t even see.
Then gone to quiet. Meemaw throwed the rolly end out the window. Grey blue grey very. Meemaw putted her two hands on it the window. Two hands flat. Looked out.
Like heffalump traps?
What?
Heffalump trap Pooh falls in. The jar on his head for a monster. Piglet is scared.
Meemaw laughed. Meemaw turned quick came and picked me up. Meemaw swinged me round.
Help! Help! It’s a horrible heffalump!
I liked I liked our flat all to spinning.
Help! Help! It’s a horrible heffalump!
Horrible heffalump!
I wanted it for a long time then and long. But Meemaw stopped.
Let’s have a bath.
In the bath I stretched out on my tummy. Long as a ichthyosaur. I swimmed in the seas of the Jurassic. Meemaw squeezed up at the end.
Bloody hell, Dan, you’re a bath hog these days.
Can we go swimming Meemaw at the swimming pool can we?
We’ll see.
We can.
I putted my hand down on the bath bottom pushed up. Actual swimming I was.
We’ll see, love, I don’t really think my costume’s decent any more and it costs a lot to get in.
We went once. We had M and Ms yellow packet after outside. Hair wet and some trickles.
Meemaw washing my hair then. Singing of the little fishes swam and they swam right over the dam. Boop bap diddle daddle wadum choo. I like I like it choo.
Drying my toes Meemaw’s phone buzzed. Buzz again again three times buzzing. Probably Karen I thinked. I looked at it the phone. Karen in it. I thinked plop in the toilet but then no YouTube no Tale of a Tooth.
You go and get snuggled down, love. I’ll be there in a minute.
Bed was cold first but only for a minute. I turned it over the duvet end and I maked a head nest of pillows. Waited for Meemaw in the cosy. Spiney on my cheek. All the flat our flat of our things not the wild sea of Mick’s flat. I thinked about Mick his room little gold wheels of watches I wanted. His twists and curls of tiny. His joggle moustache when he eated the omelette. His orange curtain of the door flappy flappy.
***
I waked up very sudden of the big shout. Meemaw doing loud words of nonsense of Spanish. Thump thump arms and legs in the bed like fighting. I slided away. My inside gone thumpa thump too. A bad dream of Meemaw just a bad dream. I joggled her arm.
Meemaw! Meemaw! Meemaw you’re doing Spanish Meemaw!
She went still.
Oh! Oh!
Meemaw turned on the light. Meemaw’s hair gone wild as a storm and sweaty for a temperature.
Sorry! Just give me a minute.
She getted water. Had a drink. Rubbed her face lots lots of her hand. Light of yellow in our flat but outside it was still night-time.
What did it mean the Spanish Meemaw?
I don’t know, Danny. I was asleep, wasn’t I? It happens in a dream.
It wasn’t in a dream it was now in our flat. Not a dream. I didn’t say. I did a yawn.
Do you need a wee, love?
No.
Meemaw turned off the light then opened her phone. I saw its eye. Its bright eye of light. Bright in the dark. Meemaw did a gasp.
What?
Oh, it’s nothing. It’s just Karen’s been messaging while we’ve been asleep.
She didn’t know you were asleep so she was messaging.
Meemaw didn’t say anything for her turn.
It’s night-time Meemaw for sleeping but Karen didn’t know it.
She did know, honey, but she says she wanted to talk to me anyway and she has managed eighty three messages’ worth of one-sided conversation.
I didn’t say anything of my turn then.
I ‘spose that might be called dedication or something.
Meemaw putted down her phone. I scootled close snuggled in. Warm smell of Meemaw. Her booby. I lied still I looked at Meemaw’s face. Her eyes open very wide. Orange street light in them.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Floppy tree was gone completely to flat in the morning. In the way of Rexy for his running. I lied on the floor tried to blow it. It hurted in my face my head and nothing no fatter. I shouted.
Meemaw!
Meemaw was gone in the bathroom of shut door. No reply to me I shouted louder.
MEEMAW!
It was just the door shut no coming Danny no flush. I dragged it the whole world by its corner to the bathroom. I opened the door went in. Meemaw on the toilet her knickers and jeans down.
Meemaw the tree has gone to flat. Blow it up.
Danny, I’ve told you not to disturb me when the door’s shut. Just wait outside.
Blow it up Meemaw!
In a minute. Wait for me in the other room.
Blow it!
Danny, you need to listen to me right now. You go in the other room, you shut the door and wait. Do you understand?
I standed still. Meemaw putted her face in her hand. Then all of a sudden a roar a roar of giganotosaurus.
Daniel White, get out of this room right this minute or I swear I’ll take the bloody thing back to the toy library!
I throwed it. I throwed it hard at Meemaw but it folded itself up the whole stupid world. Crumpled down on the floor. I runned away went under the t
able.
Under the table is a long long scratch perhaps a giant claw maked. A piece of chewing gum but gone hard as the fossil tooth of William Buckland. The red line I drawed one day underneath in my pen Meemaw doesn’t know. She doesn’t go under.
I thinked get all my pens do the whole under of the table all scribble. Maybe push shove the table over. A fallen beast. Then better better get the lighter of Meemaw’s rollies makes spark and orange flame. Burn burn the table up in fire make a good revenge of Meemaw.
I wanted it. I wanted all the crackle burn of it but the lighter always in Meemaw’s pocket of her actual jeans. I can never get. Stupid Meemaw.
I heared flush and the tap of washing hands. Meemaw’s legs came by me.
Meemaw making toast I smelled it the hotness. I peeped. Meemaw doing peanut butter toast. I wanted it the drippy taste of it sweet nice.
Meemaw’s legs came close. She bended down. Meemaw holding out the plate of four of the peanut butter toast. I taked it. Meemaw sitted on the floor not looking at me. Tea in our blue mug. Meemaw’s tea maked curls. She blowed to cool down. Sip of it.
Sunshine, we’re going back to the centre today. The place where we borrowed the dinosaurs.
My tummy twizzled over.
Do we have to take them back?
No, no, they don’t have to go back for a few more weeks but I need to have the appointment I didn’t have last week.
I looked at Apato. He was near my leg. I loved Apato. Today he didn’t have to go back.
Meemaw finished her tea. I eated all the four of toast.
Right then! Shake a leg.
I lied down on the floor Meemaw washed up of breakfast things. I shaked my one leg lots lots until gone to heavy hurted.
Meemaw’s phone was up above on the table I heared it do a buzzy dance. Again again on the table very loud. Meemaw came and picked it up.
Ah right, change of plan, we’re stopping off at the Costa for a coffee with Karen before we go to the centre.
I kicked my hurty heavy leg on the floor.
No!
Meemaw bended down looked in at me.
Come on now, Danny, don’t give me a hard time today. Let’s just get out the door.
I want to go to the centre.
I thinked of the lady of round boobies dark between her teeths. She might have a other thing of dinosaurs. Meemaw could ask. I wanted that. No Karen no Costa no. I kicked kicked kicked.
Meemaw getted up was putting things in the bag bustly fast all around our flat. I peeped. Too fast for see her colour so I didn’t know it. Meemaw bended down again looked in at me. Sudden purple.
Danny! Get out here now, right now because we need to go. We need to be gone right now!
No!
Meemaw standed by the door. Just her back. Meemaw doing many of swears. Whispers coming louder. Then Meemaw a deep breath. Shoulders come up high she turned round came to by me again.
Danny, come on. You can have another milkshake.
It was a milkshake of poo. Karen poo. I don’t want it milkshake! I want to go to the centre!
We are going to the centre. First to the Costa, then the centre. Danny, listen, first the Costa then the centre.
Not first the Costa.
Christ!
I rolled my lips in my mouth pinchy. No words to escape not one to more come.
Meemaw’s phone buzzed again not a message buzz. A on on buzz. Meemaw putted it by her face.
Hello, K.
Meemaw went by the window looked out. I slided on my tummy my head out from under. I watched. Meemaw’s hair lifty just brushed. Her coat on ready. I heared a teeny voice a shrinked down Karen inside Meemaw’s phone. On on the teeny voice.
Oh dear, oh baby… Well you can if you like, but I told you we have to go out… Well if you like, if you like of course… Yeah, we can go a bit later.
More the teeny voice. Meemaw flattening on her hair of flying up.
It’s just a… it’s an advice place, you know, about the council tax…
Meemaw sitted down by the table. The teeny voice on on on.
Yeah, okay. Yeah, see you soon.
A ambulance of neenaw went down the road. Blue flash flash on the window.
Well you got your wish, Danny, there’s no need for us to go to Costa now.
I didn’t say anything. Looked at Meemaw very brown brown of appointments and we’re late of obligations. Very bad colour. I was sorry of my cross. I went to Meemaw cuddled her arm.
Karen’s coming here, love. She’s thrown a sicky.
Ugh!
I thinked of sicky thrown. Bucket of sicky thrown might go on me.
Why?
She’s having a hard time at work. Anyway, she’s coming here.
She mustn’t do throw a sicky in the flat Meemaw it will go on the carpet tiles.
No, no not throwing sick. It means she’s pretending to be ill.
Why, Meemaw? Why pretend?
So she can leave and come here instead, Danny.
Why?
Meemaw closed her eyes like blow the candles make a wish.
Why, Meemaw?
I don’t know, Danny, okay?
Meemaw stayed sitted down at the table. Still in her coat for going out but not going now because of Karen coming. I thinked of the centre.
I went to get the dinosaur world. I pulled the world right to underneath the table. Spreaded it out. It filled all up. The table underneath came the sky of dinosaur world. Mine. Not for anyone else to get in. I lined them up Deiny Apato Rexy Spiney Triceytop at the front of the world.
Meemaw still sitting in her coat doing staring.
Meemaw! Meemaw I need the pillows for more mountains. Meemaw!
Brown as a tree. Hard. No words.
Meemaw!
What?
Snap crack her head turned.
Meemaw can I have please the pillows?
She getted up fetched them for me but no words came. I putted them one each side for a protection. No way in. The great peaks of the Himalayas. I lied on my tummy but inside grooble pain. A warning. I sitted up.
The bell brrrrring and Meemaw went.
Her smell is a enemy. In my world snaked her smell.
Hi, baby.
A slickity sound of kissing I didn’t look. I holded one hand Spiney one hand Apato.
Bloody hell, I just had to get out of there. It’s a fucking nuthouse. A total fucking nuthouse.
I peeped. Karen on our sofa all flopped down. Meemaw under her arm very smalled and low. Karen shirt was the tangle of flowers one. Sleeve rolled up her arm bluey of veins I wanted to bite. Push it off Meemaw.
What did you tell them?
Migraine. I do get them. I’m telling you, Nat, you would not believe some of the bastards we get in there. Total fucking losers and nutjobs and we have to pretend like anyone would give them a fucking job.
Meemaw wriggled.
Do you want a tea?
If I’d wanted to, you know, I could have sat on my arse expecting the world to pay me, but I never bloody did. My dad would have dragged me out by my fucking hair anyway.
K!
Meemaw said it sudden interrupty like wrong things on the bus or in the shop queue.
What? What’s your problem?
Nothing. Nothing. Do you want a tea?
Jesus.
Meemaw getted up. Filled up the kettle.
Danny, do you want a drink of water?
I didn’t say. Karen taked off her shoes black shiny. Throwed them by our door. Thonk thonk! She stretched all out her legs. I watched close Karen. I heared the smell of her.
Then the eyes looked in past the pillow mountains and spiked me.
Hey, Professor, what you up to?
I didn’t say.
Cat got your tongue?
Meemaw bringed the tea.
Here you go, babe.
Karen taked the tea.
You can take it easy now, yeah?
Meemaw sitted down. Karen putted he
r arm round again. Leaned. Leaned all on Meemaw kissed in Meemaw’s neck.
K…
What? What is your problem today, Nat? For fuck’s sake, I thought you wanted to see me!
Meemaw squiggled getted her tea. Meemaw’s hands shaked. Some tea tumbled out a splash on Meemaw’s jeans.
Of course I want to see you, you know I do. Just take it easy, eh? It sounds like you’ve had a hard morning.
Oh, fuck off.
Quiet then. My tummy groaned a big grooble pain a twisty one. I said mind words go away poo not now it is not a good time for heaven’s sake.
I thinked hang on Danny hang on the bell nelly.
Meemaw getted up throwed her tea down the sink. Meemaw didn’t want it the tea. It was just of Karen coming I knowed. We should be gone to the centre now me and Meemaw.
Look, Karen, I want to be supportive, sweetheart, but it’s not my fault if you’ve had a hard morning. I didn’t do anything. I told you that we need to get to the appointment at the centre anyway, so maybe it’d be best if you went home.
Oh, yeah, the centre. You’re going to that fucking centre full of losers and users. That’s right. You’d rather be there than here with me. I get it. I fucking get it, Nat.
K, look…
I fucking gave you money, Natalie. I gave you fifty quid to sort out that council tax. Was that not enough? Where else do you owe money, eh? You’d better tell me what sort of mess you’ve got yourself in.
No!
Meemaw shouting proper to angry.
No, I’m not fucking having this, Karen. I didn’t ask for that money, you offered. You offered and I’ll pay every penny back if that’s what you want.
Karen getted up went across by Meemaw and sudden I knowed that poo was going to come. I pressed hard on my bot but it was a twisty hurt and no stopping it.
I maked a wail noise. A wail came out from the under-table world.
Waaaaa…
Danny, what’s wrong?
Meemaw came quick by the table looked in past pillow mountain.
What is it, sweetheart?
I cried. No words to be said. Karen there Karen blue eye monster looking at me. Meemaw reached in. Meemaw lifted me up I putted my face in her neck. Flick flick in neck skin very fast. A bird flick fast inside. I twisted in Meemaw’s arms tried to press on my bot.
Is it a poo?
I nodded. We went to the bathroom. I heared Karen’s voice loud even though my crying.
Oh, for fuck’s sake! Isn’t he old enough to go to the toilet by himself?
Tale of a Tooth Page 13
