My body was gone to wild of shaking. I holded the edge part of the window. My feet cold on our carpet tiles were hoppity all by themselves. Like dancing. Karen was closer closer but my Meemaw too. Meemaw. I wanted such and such my Meemaw.
Meemaw rubbed Karen’s arm. Meemaw her head sideways nod nod nod. Then she letted go. She walked to our steps.
Karen was by the car still. Meemaw came up the steps. So close so close my Meemaw I putted my fingers on the window.
She waved at Karen one time then again. Again. Karen walked away down our street. She crossed over. Front door opened and Meemaw was coming in our flat.
She turned on the light.
Danny! Danny!
She was looking all about all about. I runned then like a train on tracks too.
Meemaw picked me up. Both each of us crying then. Meemaw and Danny. We tumbled on our sofa.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Morning in Mick’s flat is different because all the sea of things there. If I wake up and Meemaw is gone from the high up bed I must call to Meemaw because we don’t know half of what’s on that floor Danny. Meemaw comes from the kitchen and helps me get dressed. Helps me put on my trainers get down.
Meemaw has maked a clear end of table in the kitchen I sit with the book. My own book of Walking with Dinosaurs. Meemaw gets breakfast. I have round egg all shell taked off cutted in two halfs with yellow circles in. No flat egg because Mick’s fry pan is broken of a wobbly black handle he burned.
In all days here Meemaw’s colours are hard to see. She is actual Meemaw but always hidden colours.
Meemaw doesn’t eat dinners just me and Mick. He says grand princess. Meemaw goes back in the kitchen more cleaning.
Meemaw telled me a story of a man called Sisyphus who always pushed a stone up a hill. Always it rolled back down. Meemaw telled me that in Mick’s house she is like the Sisyphus man.
I said Sisyphus should have maked a wall first to stop it rolling back down. Maked the wall first Meemaw. I showed Meemaw on my drawing. A hill. Round wall of bricks a circle round the top he could push in there keep it up.
Meemaw said don’t you ever lose that excellent instinct to plan ahead Danny.
I maked the hill a prison for a bad coelophysis. He hitted a other one and now they must prison him up there for always.
We have been here three mornings. One two three not at home. This morning Meemaw was still in the big bed with me when I waked up.
Hey, Dan! Morning!
Meemaw!
She cuddled me.
I curled in the smell of her. Better than the Mick flat smells.
We need to get up, love. I have to go up to Haywards Heath today. Mick’s going to look after you.
The sunshine was come in one part of the three window. It maked the orange curtain very glow and a orange rectangle lied on the floor all bumpy across the things.
No Meemaw.
Meemaw was warm soft of her boobies beside me. I smelled it in. I maked a good hum of it. Hum of loudness.
Hummmmmmmmmm… Hummmmmmmmmm…
It’s not for long, love, but I need to go to sort things out.
I stopped the hum.
No Meemaw.
Went back in the hum.
Hummmmmmmmmm… Hummmmmmmmmm…
Look, Danny, I have to do an important thing.
Louder came the hum. I feeled it buzz in my nose. Meemaw touched my face.
Danny, listen. Listen. Are you listening?
I shaked my head of no. Still the loudness of the hum.
Hummmmmmmmmm… Hummmmmmmmmm…
Meemaw sitted up then she finded Spiney in the bed by her she standed him on the pillow. Loud her voice so I would hear.
We’re waiting for you, Danny. We’re waiting for you.
I went upside down my feet by Meemaw’s tummy pushed.
Nooooooooooo!
Coco Pops, Danny! If you sit up and listen I’ll get Coco Pops from the shop.
I thinked of it. I wanted them. I saw on a advert chocolatey. I sitted up.
Right, this is what I’m going to do. I’ll get on the train and go to Haywards Heath. That’s the one after our station and where the bus takes us for the Job Centre. I’ll walk along the big road by the roundabout and I’ll wait by there for it to be time for Karen to come out for lunch.
NO!
Listen! Listen, Danny. I’ll wait for her to come out and then I’ll tell her she can’t come to our flat ever again.
NO!
It’s okay. It’ll be okay.
NO!
Danny, Danny, I need to tell her so we can go home to our flat. To make sure she won’t come again. Do you understand?
The orange rectangle had moved across more slanty on the floor.
No Karen!
That’s right, no Karen in our flat again, but I need to go and tell her, Danny, don’t I? Because we need to say clearly to people, don’t we? We have to be clear with our words, don’t we?
I thinked kill myself. I thinked hit. I thinked of the cupboards the minty green soft of our cupboards broken. Underneath was black.
Nooooooo Meemaw!
Meemaw holded me. I went in close hum again.
Hummmmmmmmmm… Hummmmmmmmmm…
It’ll be okay, Danny. It will be okay. I just need to go and get this sorted out properly.
I thinked no but I didn’t say it any more. I didn’t say any more of words just the hum. It getted to a lovely growly growl I went in.
***
After breakfast of chocolatey goodness Meemaw came low by me. She stroked on my face.
This is something I can sort out, Danny, I promise you. I just need to go and speak to her when she’s sober and calm, so I’ll wait for her outside the Job Centre at lunchtime and then I’ll get it all clear, come back and fetch you and we can go home.
I looked at Meemaw didn’t say any of words.
I know that’s too much to follow, love. Sorry. Listen, what I’m telling you is I’ll come back later to fetch you and we’ll go home and no more Karen visits, okay?
Still I didn’t say any words. I thinked never did Meemaw leave me. I didn’t want her to. I thinked of me and just Mick in the flat. All wrong.
Meemaw standed up and flashed white silver bright sudden. I thinked she must go. Go to face the enemy in a mighty battle.
How about if I make sandwiches just right and leave them wrapped in silver foil? Aaaaaand look! I’ve got you a whole new pad of paper and new pens so you can do a new comic to show me when I get back!
I couldn’t make words come and not crying. I nodded. I thinked Meemaw must be brave and I too.
Thank you, Danny. Thank you for being a grown-up boy and understanding. It’s going to be okay.
Meemaw went to the yucky Mick bathroom. I heared her brushing her teeth.
Another badness of Mick’s house is no Meemaw phone. Meemaw has maked her phone gone to black all the time. I said is it breaked Meemaw and she said no. I said or all data gone and she said I just need some peace for a bit Dan we didn’t have phones when I was little you know.
I want YouTube and Tale of a Tooth. I think of it sometimes the boom bigness of the Walter Kronkite man. The music and the zoom in I love.
I thinked it might be gone off YouTube. Once a thing I liked of a Phantom Cat was gone off YouTube and Meemaw said bad luck Dan.
But I think of it Tale of a Tooth. I hope for it holded inside in the black and waiting for you Danny.
Here I have my Walking with Dinosaurs book Jane gived me. At bedtimes I have a book of this house Meemaw finded on the shelf. It is of fairy tales I don’t like much but Meemaw telled it was hers of when she was little and is special.
I like the pictures anyway. The pictures of woods very dark. And a girl of no feet where a woodcutter man chopped them off. He chopped them off with a axe because her feet went spelled and would never stop dancing in red shoes.
And here too is the big enormous telly but not always CBeebies because Mick wants
other programmes.
Meemaw came. Ready and her shoes on. Meemaw showed me sandwiches wrapped up for me. I looked at Coco Pops Meemaw had buyed. Sitting there by the sandwiches.
Those are for breakfast only, Danny. You leave them alone, yes?
I didn’t say.
Meemaw fast rushy she putted her hair back by her ear.
Look! I got you a bottle of water too, Dan. Flippy lid!
I like flippy lid. Meemaw knowed.
I’ll be back by three. Look, here… When the little hand points at three and the big hand on twelve. Okay? Come in the front room now.
Meemaw holded my hand for walking along the corridor. I thinked she will be back. I was wet in my eyes but not crying because be brave.
Mick was on the sofa. A sea beast on the rocky shore. He was inside his cloudy smoke that always Mick has. A man and a lady of the telly said escape to the country.
I’ll be back by three, Mick, okay?
Sure, sure, we’ll be fine, me and the wee man.
Meemaw telled wee is small. That is funny wee is small. I said it lots lots until Meemaw said enough. But today was not of laughing. Today was the very serious day of Meemaw leaving me.
‘Bye, Danny!
Bang the door. Meemaw gone.
I sitted in my clear square. Meemaw maked it for me my clear square of nothing. It is carpet flat for my pad of drawing and nothing of might be dangerous. I like the nothing. I touch the nothing. My hand in the middle of it. My square. My nothing. My fingers spreaded out. One two three four five.
Mick did a big fart. It went rump fump. Loud and on.
Pardon me!
He huffed on the sofa. He was twisty. He pulled his trousers they had went in his bot.
I drawed six boxes for a comic all straight lines only a bit leany on the one side.
Sometimes drawing goes like reading but I am making the story come. I make the creatures do the story. No one in there just me. No one. It is a good thing. All the boxes are mine.
I drawed T-Rex with bubbles of thinking. He thinked I shall kill the evil enemy. I did all the writing. I Danny. I maked the story come out of me.
Meemaw wasn’t saying do some colours on it Danny go on go on. I didn’t do colours.
Then there was strangeness on the sixth box. On the sixth box I wanted blue blue blue of a sky and I did it. It was a good blue of all open in my hand. I maked it fill fill fill. Blue was the thinking of the T-Rex when he knowed the enemy was gone. All gone away. I went to the edge to the line. Very careful. Only one place over.
Mick maked his snore noise. Snonk snonk snonk gah. He opened his eyes. Closed again.
My feet were gone tangly uncomfy in my square. I taked off my shoes putted them on the sea of things. Floating on top. My two shoes were boats.
I have never knowed of so much sleep like Mick. And not much getting up. I said to Meemaw she said he is poorly of too much years of fizzy drink in the cans. And long rollies and sadness.
I looked at the red red face. Mouth open droopy moustache over. I thinked I will drink just water like before Karen and the first of Coke. I will not to smoke rollies because smelly of stink. But how to be not sad? How can you not sad if you are?
Meemaw doesn’t drink cans but smokes little rollies of Meemaw. And sad sometimes. Crying sometimes.
I must watch Meemaw doesn’t go to poorly. I did a round circle of red a drop of blood on my comic. Coloured careful the red.
I thinked I must watch Meemaw and see her colours. But here in Mick’s flat they are too hard to see. Meemaw is hiding them her colours.
Mick did another fart. His long rolly was gone out in the ashtray. His silver square lighter by it. I thinked I wanted to hold it in my hand nice smoothy flat. But Mick maked a piggy noise loud so I didn’t go near.
I went for a wee. I went careful in the sea of things. I went all to the toilet by myself.
Meemaw cleaned the toilet of Mick’s house the first night. It smelled very of yuck and poo was in it. Meemaw getted squirty bleach don’t touch. She wore yellow gloves. Still it has a thing in. Crusty thing. Meemaw says it is limescale like fossils. A ancient toilet. I don’t like the seat black toilet white. They are not matching. Very wrong.
But this a wee only so I standed up. I did good aiming not much drips. Tap was too stiffy hard to turn so I rubbed my hands on my trousers for getting off germs.
My sandwiches were in the kitchen. Wrapped up like birthdays and a surprise. I holded them. A squashy parcel. I thinked of Meemaw and goodness. Then I saw the knife.
I didn’t know a knife first. It was just long and yellow the handle part. It had silver circles on I liked. I pulled it out. Out out slided the knife a mighty blade at the end. Not a point but breaked so jagged teeth. Very good. I did a shiver.
I holded the knife close by my eye. Then I holded the knife straight and maked it of me. It was my weapon.
Get back! I shall stag you!
My voice speaking. Danny in the flat. In Mick’s flat. Sudden I thinked of Karen but it wasn’t. It was me pretending only. A silly billy Danny don’t be scared.
But I dropped it the knife. It falled down on my foot then off. Boing a trampoline. I was surprised.
Then came a hurt. It was a burning hurt. A rush of hurt.
I had touched it a knife of danger. A great mistake. I picked it up and slided it back in the heapy heap on the table. Hiding.
I holded all behind my teeths. Breathing hiss hiss I looked at my foot. On my sock my lighty grey smooth good sock had comed a flower. Red rose wet. Blood.
I sitted on the sticky ticky floor and pulled off my sock. The top of my foot had gone wet of the blood. In the middle the cutted part was a mouth. Like a mouth but very small. I touched it. I pulled the open mouth and more blood comed out.
All was thumping. My head inside twizzle. Tummy gone to sicky. I bunchled up my sock and holded it on. Better. All gone disappeared the blood.
I stayed still counting to 5356 a great longness of numbers. But then I thinked of Meemaw coming.
I thinked of Meemaw. I wanted Meemaw not seeing not knowing.
I went in the bedroom to our bag. Inside were my socks of blue that is navy. I looked again at my foot. Such braveness. Foot was gone to not so wet. The mouthy cutted part gone thick sticky ticky blood.
I pulled it on the navy sock. No bloody was there. My foot looking all not broken and not cutted. I liked it. Better. But inside was still the stingy zingy feel.
I holded the sock of the red blood flower. It was a wrong thing. I looked at all the sea of things and thinked of throwing it in. But Meemaw has eyes of discovering so I thinked no. Then I thinked of the toilet.
In the toilet still my wee yellow from not flushed. The yellow and the crusty limescale. I throwed in the sock. It lied in the wee water sinking. Redness sinking in yellow wee.
I holded the handle with two hands. I did all my great strength of a mighty giganotosaurus. Whoosh in the water. Waterfall! Bloody sock went dancing dancing then gone.
Then the water was clear and still in the Mick toilet. Just the crusty of limescale knowed the sock had gone by. Meemaw didn’t know of it. Only the limescale knowed. Only I knowed too. I feeled it close. A secret.
I taked my sandwiches in my clear square. Legs crossed hurty foot holded under safe.
I eated all my sandwiches. Sicky feeling gone. Peanut butter and softy bread. No crusts. I went flip flip flip of my bottle. The lid flip flip and good water I liked.
On the telly a black lady said of economic forecast. I looked at Mick asleep still. He did a piggy grunt. I thinked of Meemaw and Spanish talking. Mick did a cough of bubble phlegm. Then he opened his eyes.
Havin’ your dinner, little man?
I did a nod.
He smiled and shutted his eyes still smiling.
I was going to make a comic of episode two the revenge. I started a T-Rex. His hand of two fingers very good. But then I went to sleepy. Heavy heavy. My clear square was gone very hot in th
e sun. I curled in it. I curled as a sleeping beast.
***
Meemaw touching me was a surprise on my shoulder.
Hey, love! Danny!
Too rough. Pulling.
Meemaw!
Christ! Christ, you scared me there, sunshine! Did you just nod off?
I sitted up all of confusion of the Mick room. But Meemaw had comed back. Meemaw back. Such goodness. I holded her tight.
Mick waked up too. He sitted up rubbed on his red face.
Cup of tea, Mick?
Grand.
I getted up from nothing square and followed Meemaw in the kitchen. I thinked of it the knife but hidden. Gone in the table heap.
Meemaw filled up the fat low kettle. It knocked and rattled of heating up. Then it clicked to off.
Meemaw did you tell Karen no coming?
Yes.
Can we go home?
Yes.
After cups of tea and more rollies all the things of ours were packed in our bags. Meemaw slided in my pens last. She looked at Mick gone droopy eyes on the sofa again.
Right, well we’ll be making a move, Dad.
I had forgetted of Mick being the dad of Meemaw. I thinked of the lady in the hard photo in the drawer. She is Meemaw’s mummy but gone to dead.
Meemaw lifted me up. Mick standed up and kissed me. It was horrible of his mouth air. The moustache on me like a animal.
Cutted foot was dangling down in my trainer now. Going tumpy tumpy inside. A strangeness but not a bad hurt.
So you’re sure things are okay now, princess?
Meemaw did a sigh.
Yes, everything’s fine. And it’s Nat, Dad.
Nat. Sure. Nat.
He sitted down on his sofa again and a big yawn. Inside Mick’s mouth are spaces of no teeth and darkness.
We’ll be seeing you. Thanks for… Well, thanks.
Don’t be a stranger, princess.
The door curtain joggled when Meemaw closed the door. She stopped still by the top of Mick’s steps. Still carrying me and our bags by her feet.
Come on Meemaw! Home! Home!
Hang on, love. Let’s get sorted.
Meemaw putted me down and picked up the bags. She taked a big big breath and letted it out slow.
Home!
We will, we will go home, but let’s just pop down to the beach, Dan, and have a proper look at the sea. Shall we?
Tale of a Tooth Page 16
